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QUESTION:
"I don’t know what to do. Last night my husband, our son and I went to a movie while my mom babysat our 6 week old and our 10 year old. He had a drink or 2 at the theater (they serve here) and when we got home he walked to the local bar. He came home after closing time and came to bed. He passed out but he had woken me up. I go to the washroom and while he was sleeping something in my gut told me to open his phone. Hes been texting another woman, the texts seem to indicate that they’re pretty deeply involved. It hurts to realize that this also had to be occurring while I was pregnant with our miracle baby. It hurt worse to know that she knows he’s married with a family. I had some inkling that this was happening because he’s not affectionate with me anymore. He doesn’t compliment me unless I ask him how I look. I’m the breadwinner. I’m smart I’m educated. I have not ever cheated on him but in my gut I know this isn’t his first time. I don’t know what to do. My heart is broken. Please be kind and give me real advice. I don’t want have alot of friends to ask for help here."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Listen mama, I want you to know first that you’re not alone, second that isn’t your fault…unfortunately you have to let him go… it will be hard and scary at first but it is what’s best…once you’re out on your own focus on you and your children…if u do decide to stay with him work at it while separated if nothing changes then you have to cut your ties"
"I would save some money up and leave or kick him out. You are worth more then that. I have went through the same thing. Come to find out my ex made a baby with one of so called best friends. Take it one day at a time Once a cheater always a cheater."
"How much do you value your relationship? Then you need to ask him how much he values the relationship and find out what or if anything can be done to repair it."
"Get all your evidence in a neat little pile and bring it to your divorce attorney!"
"Cut him off… financially and emotionally… make plans that don’t include him and give him no access to funds to make his own plans or even put gas in his car. If she wants him then she would get a broke sucker who is gonna have to figure some things out for himself beginning with how he plans to pay child support. You don’t owe him an explanation, just cut him off without saying a single word… because honestly, it sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too… he thinks he has it made… show him you’re no fool."
"Cheating is a problem on a lot of levels, he could bring home an STD and you especially don’t want that when pregnant. It is dangerous to cheat on people for a lot of reasons, it is a really bad thing to do. You make the money, I would kick his mooch ass out"
"I’ve been there. I know you want to hear something like, “Go to counseling,” or “Tell him to break it off and give him another chance.” However, I know from more than one past experience that most guys will cheat again if you give them another chance. I know it hurts, but the best thing you can do for yourself is leave the relationship. I’m glad to hear that you are financially able to provide for yourself and your children. The hurt will heal in time, and there’s someone else out there for you."
"Do the exact same thing you would advise your daughter or son to do in this situation if they came and asked your advice about the same situation."
"Once they cheat, it never stops. When theres no trust, it destroys everything. Hes got to go, why support his habits."
"I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re smart. You’re educated. You don’t need him. Don’t sit at tables where you’re not valued. Go sit with someone who knows what you bring to the table and values it."
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