I got pregnant by someone that told me he was single and lied. We were seeing each other for five months, but I got pregnant the 3rd week we were dating. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until four months in when I told him he freaked out, ghosted me for two weeks, but then came back. We talked about names, and we went on outings together. Three weeks out of the blue, he broke up with me and said he didn’t want to be a part of the baby’s life. He told me that he had been in a five-year relationship with his daughter’s mom and that he was cheating on her the whole time. He deleted me, and we didn’t talk until a month after I gave birth to his second daughter. He has told me he would come help when he can but doesn’t want anyone to know about the baby because his GF will break up with him for good. I want to tell her because he could be 100% involved, not make his daughter and me a secret. My daughter should know her sister and have a family. I don’t want to be the one to tell her because he has a big anger problem, and right now, I don’t want it to turn into a huge fight. How do I let the girlfriend know about my daughter without me getting linked to being the one that told?
That’s so tough! But she does have a right to know and honestly it is going to come back on you. You should just tell her and have a new best friend!
Make a fake profile and tell her thru it
You don’t need to tell her. You want to tell her. If ruining his life is what you want then go for it. But you’re hurting your child. Not him or yourself. Your kid suffers because you can’t take being rejected.
Get someone else to tell her a close friend or family member if they have social media contact through that, private message or if you know where they live etc some details aren’t too hard to find especially if you were dating for months your bound to know some information, even if you know any of his family etc no child should be a secret
I think it’s his loss at the end of the day if he doesn’t want to be 100% involved. She has you.
If you tell the partner he won’t speak to you, if you don’t he still isn’t speaking to you unless it suits him.
Doesn’t deserve to be a part of your lives. The truth will come out on its own in the end.
Sorry. I’d make sure she was aware. I’d want to know
u have it lucky i wish i was sigle parent so much easier
it is up to him to tell her-I would give him a choice-her or me and move on
Being sneaky isn’t going to be helpful here. Do you want a relationship with this man? Cuz it’s clear where he stands. I say you cut ties and send in a paternity test request for child support. He can deal with his consequences. And if he chooses visitation, your daughter will probably meet her sister. Do you truly want to co-parent like that with his anger issues?
Telling his gf ain’t gunna make him be a dad lmfao. He has already decided he didn’t want to care for that baby. It’s you and her. Unfortunately he won’t help now or after you tell the gf and I’m not sure why you think doing all that will make him want to step up to the plate with y’all’s baby.
I would just tell her and then ignore any dramatic responses you don’t need to deal with send proof if you have to then let him deal with the fallout. He made his bed he can lie in it. But definitely tell her because she deserves to know and your daughter deserves better than what he’s doing now
If I were you, cut him completely off out of your life and your daughters. What kind of gutless person could just expect to keep you and his own child a secret before he screwed up and around apparently. One day when your daughter is old enough and ready to know the truth, then you tell her. Not the girlfriend. Stand tall for you and your baby girl.
Serve his ass with child support papers and move on with your life. He’s not going to help you or be in the baby’s life. You need money to raise her, and he should be stepping up.
Have him sign over his rights than tell his girlfriend!!!
I’m toxic so i would create a fake account, or mail her some type of proof that he has a baby with you.
File for child support
I would take him to court for child support. Let him try to hide that from her. You telling the gf isn’t going to make him be more involved. If he doesn’t want to be involved you can’t make him and don’t want to force him into your child’s life.
You tell his mom. Its her other grand daughter.
Just say it. He’s the dumb fuck that fucked up.
Sounds like you just want him for yourself. I’d just leave it and move on!!!
Whats her name on fb , il message her for you, actually I’d be happy to tell her oh and send me a pic of your baby so I can send it to her … Lol
You telling this other person is not going to make him involved with your daughter. If he wanted to be, he would be. Your best bet is to grow up and move on from him because you are all she’s got.
I have been her, twice. Tell her.
100% tell her. Shes wasted so much of her life with someone that doesn’t deserve her. I was with an angry guy and I wish all the chicks came forth and told me but no one did
If I was the Gf, I’d want to know. You owe it to her, otherwise you probably weren’t the first and certainly won’t be the last he cheats with…
Child Support is his responsibility, that will take care of the rest. It’s his responsibility and that’s what matters here. Also I’m sorry you’re going through all of this.
I’d put on my big girl panties, FK him. Tell her and take his ass to court. Don’t be a bitch about it either. Don’t lie about who you are, then take him to court.
I would tell her so she knows what kind of loser she is dating and then allow him to kick fucking rocks. You don’t get to pick and choose when its convenient to be a parent. If you allow him to do that you’re causing nothing but hurt now and in the future for your child when her dead beat doesn’t show up.
Cut him off and you take care of that child all the drama is for him
Id file for child support. They’ll eventually find him, and either garnish his wages or send mail to his address. He’s bound to get caught.
If I were in your situation I’d have him sign over custody to you and just be done with it. A toxic parent is worse than no parent.
So you don’t want to tell her because it’s the decent thing to do but because you want to steal him from her and not be his secret family anymore? Please tell her so she can run far from away from you and him, y’all toxic. Probably made for each other so decent people don’t have to deal with y’all.
You light his ass up and serve him court papers and expose his ass and get help for the child he helped create!
As much as you want the happy family if he cheated on her he is going to cheat on you chances are even after you tell her he still isn’t going to want to be involved
Girl code. tell her, she needs to know. And file for child support.
Girl code is you tell her. Not for you, but for her. Dad can choose to be a dad or not. You don’t need to be with him though.
You kept this from her. How do you sleep at night. I would have messaged as soon as I found out.
File for Child support
And contact his family .
Possibly have a 3rd party get involved.
Can’t make anyone be a parent so honestly I’d just raise the baby myself and forgot him.
Request a DNA test with attorney general and he will have to explain it himself.
Tell her. She deserves to know he cheated. File for child support
Take him to court. And tell her she deserves to know he isnt worth your time thw court will decide weather he is capable of being in her life or not you shouldnt want him a part of yours
Everything you do has a consequence, check your reason why you want to do it. At this point take him to court for child support. Taki g care of your child should be your only focus right now. You can’t make anyone else love your child if they don’t want to do nothing you do will change that
Am more shocked that you are already in a sexual relationship just within 3 weeks…
Let child support tell her
File for child support. That will tell her all she needs to know.
She should know but don’t be surprised if you’re raising your baby on your own. He’s shown you more than once that he’s unreliable and untrustworthy.
Girl I hope you go to family court for child support
Go after him for child support. Let the courts send documents to his home address.
Tell her tell her now
Take him to court for child support. Then he can tell her why he has to pay it.
Absolutely shocking situation… being g with someone 3wks… did u not want to protect urself even if he wasn’t adult enough… u have sex unprotected there is bound to be a result from it… seriously more to this story…
U know going and telling her… as it will most probably satisfy u for him rejecting u fir her… is ultimately going to ruin that young child’s life and then urs because he will never come back to you … I would feel mortified if I was to ruin another women’s life and small child’s life…
Have absolutely no respect and no sympathy … and he is just scum of the earth to allow himself to get in that situation as well. . That poor woman and her child… their whole world is going to be turned upside down.
She deserves to know he cheated and had a baby on her but he also told you from the beginning he didn’t want to be involved. He made his choice so it’ll just be less stress to just let him be and you made your choice knowing he wasn’t going to be involved.
If he has anger issues why would you want him in your daughters or your life
Take him to court trust me she is not gonna wanna hear you out. I went thru this and personally I would’ve rather have found out thru the courts and not everyone else.
Girl I feel you . Except my ex abandoned us not even 2 months prego . After 5 years . Never seen his kid except 4 times . Then started trying around his first birthday . Calling him etc . It was actually nice . Said he didn’t have a gf at that time . He convinced me to have sex then ghosted 3 days before baby’s 1st birthday and bam 2 months later another child for him to ignore there existence . Either side sucks . Destroy his security bubble girl
Yeah tell her I honestly wouldn’t expect to happen what you think is going to because it’s not. He will deny you’re child and everything hun
Take that baby and get as far away from him as you can. He is a dirtbag and will never treat you or your child well.
Petition for custody and child support. Let him deal with the fallout. You can’t make him be a dad, but you sure can make sure he takes care of your kiddo.
That baby deserves to know her other sibling. Go through the Court since he wants to be ignorant. The current girlfriend also needs to know about his cheating behavior as well. Karma about to get him.
Tell her! That is SO not fair on your daughter that her dad was a piece of sh*t cheater and now wants to keep you hidden! NOBODY deserves that! Take him to court and explain to her what HE did!
She does have a right to know but do it for the right reasons if you do, it won’t make him be the dad that you want him to be for your child and you think be like a family at the end of it
Just tell her anyway you can contact her: FB, Messenger, IG, snail mail, etc. Just make sure you include proof. Then let her know you will be filing for child support. Who cares what he chooses to do? You are letting her know because she deserves to know and you would want someone to tell you if the tables were turned.
If he cheated on his patent he will cheat on you
I would want 2 know if this happened
First make sure you go file for custody of your daughter, then file for child support. Period.
File for child support. Boom. She will find out than LOL
He already shows he won’t be there. As far as his other family goes, yes she has the right to know BUT it isn’t on YOU to tell her, it is on him. And he will HAVE to tell her if he is on child support and doesn’t pay because the courts will come for him then he’ll have no choice. Also if she reads his mail and sees something from child support or a paternity summons She will know.
Same happend to me. Tell her!!! And fuck him. You and ur girl don’t need a pos like that anyways.
Who tf gets pregnant 3 weeks into a relationship. My God…get on some birth control
Id tell him to tell his so called partner that he cheated an has another daughter. If he wants anything to do with his daughter. He must say. As i wouldnt have it kept a secret for him to visit her. Ur daughter is worth more than a lyin cheating dad who doesn’t want anyone to no about her.
Start the court process then tell her
Girl code. You tell her yourself. You didn’t know. Plain and simple
Put him on child support and let it play out. Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too
Id go to court for child support and to establish some custody. I wouldn’t tell his g.f. because it seems like you want them to breakup so he will be with you but if you do it that way he won’t want to be with you.
Send me her name, I’ll tell her
Tell her then take him to court. Make sure he pays/cares for his half of that child. Whether it’s you or someone else that tells her he will more than likely blame you anyway.
I agree she should know. I would tell her personally and whatever happens happens. If he ain’t there for your daughter he is still not gonna be there but it isn’t fair that he is there for his 1st daughter and not for yours either. If he doesn’t want ntg to do with you the just move one and be with your daughter. For a man like that ur better off alone with ur daughter. I never had a dad and I prefer no dad then a quarter dad.
We got the same baby daddy cause damn we have similar stories I’m sorry it’s not funny really but nah I thought the same way you are and I told his girlfriend and we made him choose right in front of both of us who he wanted luckily I wasn’t who he wanted and now my daughter and I are happily living with my boyfriend of a year and 3 months now he doesn’t have anything to do with our daughter but my boyfriend now takes care of her like his own I wouldn’t have it any other way. I say tell her because she deserves to know and see where it goes from there if he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby than that is HIS loss not yours not your baby’s your baby will be just as happy with you and you only if that’s the way it needs to be. Good luck to you both!
Why in the world would you want to be with someone that left after you told him you were pregnant?
Get a job, take care of your child without punishing her for her father’s actions
It’s not on you to keep his relationship together. He cheated. He made his bed he should lie in it. File for child support!!
If this was me I would want to know. However I would say file child support on him and she’ll find out that way.
Let it be. Why ruin another home life just because he lied to you. Child support is something to think about but for myself I would cut all ties to him and move on with my baby.
File for child support. They will send him court papers for paternity.
Go for custody and child support as he will not go back to you and play happy family with you. You were just a piece of meat to him
Unless you are looking for drama (and potentially danger), I would not take it upon yourself to tell her at all. Your baby’s father is an ass; the only responsible way to have him in your daughter’s life at this point, it to prove paternity going through the legal system, so that he will be obligated to pay child support. Your baby is all that matters now. No need to notify her of his “indiscretions”. Her relationship with him is none of your business. You will have lots of tough decisions to make going forward; this needn’t be one.
U will need a DNA test done and make sure he signs a legal paper saying he wants NOTHING to do with the child, he will think twice also make sure u have full custody of the baby. He will either change his attitude or he will be that cold snake he has always been. I wouldnt want him, he is cold and uncaring. Also if I were u I would get a test for an STD as well. He has been cheating for a long time and who knows there may be more children out there
Put him on child support🤷♀️
She most likely won’t leave him and you know he isn’t leaving her. Once you prove it’s his child, he could take you to court and have visitation. You then wouldn’t have a say on who he takes her around. Right now you have control of who is around your child. If you are doing it for the right reasons, then file for child supportx he will have to take a paternity test.
A child isn’t a secret!!! Ancestry dna is popular so would you rather have a bombshell hit that woman 18years down the road if your kid uses it one day and reaches out? He’s a dog you’re probably saving her from stds and even more heart ache. Don’t feel bad for him
Have someone you know tell her that is willing to take the fall. Or message her from an app that uses a different phone number that isn’t yours. She deserves to know and your daughter deserves her father in her life and to know her sister. You could also just go to the courts and start a custody agreement that would make him establish paternity. Eventually it’ll come out. (I suggest going to the courts no matter what)
“He has a big anger problem”
He wants to keep his child a secret.
You think he will be 100% involved if you tell.
Personally, I would raise this child on my own and keep the child and myself far away from all of that.
Just file for child support and full custody. That takes care of the support issue, and if they truly are in a commuted relationship, she’s bound to find out sooner or later. It’s not up to you to expose what he did. That’s on him but if what you truly want is support which I agree you are entitled to, then file the necessary legal paperwork and move on.
I’ll tell her let me know.
Girl you just tell her, now please
DNA test and have a copy mailed to her
I agree with filing for custody… let the courts tell him. Than if he goes through the hassle of hiding any court dates or child support payments that’s on him
But girl you should not be worried about telling her… Because he admitted to cheating on her for five years you know that’s not right and he’s wasting her time
Let child support tell them 🤷