I got pregnant by someone who lied about being single: Advice?

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. I’ll tell her! She has every right to know she’s with a fucking loser

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File for child support :kissing_heart:

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Child support and custody. But id drop him from your life!! You don’t need that. I’d speak up and make it known to everyone tho… us women have to look out for each other. I 100% would rather someone come forward and be like your man is messing around then to keep it hidden.

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Stop sleeping with him and take him to court for child support. He’s a dog.

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I’m sorry, but honestly I think this didn’t need to even be a question. File for child support and get the dna test and there you go. Everyone will know and you will have financial support. Done. Wanting him in yours and your baby’s life is something we all want, but he’s clearly a douche so you’re going to have to buck up and be a single mom. I’m not a rude person by any means so don’t get me wrong, I’m just blunt, to the point and real. And ps. I know what it’s like to have a child with someone who lied about being single. Been there. Take care of yourself and the baby :heart:

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Make sure you file for full custody of your daughter before you do anything

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Please tell her. She deserves to know. Just go to her as a woman, send screenshots etc. it’s gonna hurt her no matter what.

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If he cheated with you then he has probably cheated with others. Who knows how many little secrets he may have out there!! Go for child support nd custody!!

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Keep your mouth shut. It’s not your place to tell her. If he wanted to be with you he would be. I’m just giving you reality as what you posted was Cinderella world unfortunately.

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Not sure why youd want that kind of person in your childs life, not exactly the role model id be looking for… and the line i got pregnant by … no you got pregnant to … it’s not all on him

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I’ll tell her for you girl! Pm me and give me her info and his! I’ll even pose as a concerned friend of his.

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Unless you know her personally then you don’t know how she would react he’ll tell you only what he wants you to know about her half of it’s probably bullshit. Go say hi lol

Let the courts tell her. Once he starts paying child support, she will find out.

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Tell her because she deserves to know.

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If that’s the kind of boyfriend he is, what kind of father do you think he’ll be?

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A lying cheater with anger problems. Great father figure… ugh. Cut him out, wake up, grow up, and be a mom so your child has a chance of at least one decent parent. You dont have time to be pathetic and play games with these people. You a have a human to raise. Get on it. Leave the woman alone and let your child decide later. Because she may not want you OR your child in her life. Get your life in order. Your motive for telling her is suspect. You are the other woman. Let the courts tell her when you file for child support.

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just tell him straight your dropping your child at his n his girlfriends house friday n youl pick up your child sunday you don’t mind him having a girlfriend you don’t mind them both having your child every week after all takes 2 to make a baby just cos he lied n cheated there’s contraception too take some responsibility at least or maybe he said he don’t wanna be dad so therefor that’s your child you do right by your child wen older tell em dads name let them explain

Just file for child support believe me he can’t really hide that

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Seriously I don’t understand what you’d be gaining by telling her I mean yes she deserves to know but coming from you the other woman I don’t think is a good idea and if you think by telling her is gonna make him wake up and be there for your daughter or you that’s not the way to make it happen I definitely wouldn’t appreciate being told by the other woman if it were me I’d straight just let it go and get him for child support and just move on cause if he wanted to be in child’s life he would rather he has a gf or not

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I could be wrong, but I think you did know. Especially since with all the mess you still want him to leave her and be with you. You made a bad choice love

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He does not want to be in her life and has been lying all this time …File for child support, his other lady will eventually figure it out that way.

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File for child support and get the idea that you’ll all be one big happy family out of your head. It’s more likely that once she knows about you, she’ll do whatever it takes to keep you and your child away from hers

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I’ve actually been in a very similar situation and In my opinion just move on. Even if you do tell her that’s not going to change his attitude toward anything he still will not be involved if he’s not doing anything right now. I would just take him to court for child support and then you and your child continue on with your separate lives. You never know how people are going to react in this situation and you shouldn’t put your child in harms way for a man who isn’t interested in being a father.

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Don’t bother with him or his girlfriend. Take it to court so your child is taken care of.

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You said he has anger issues in that case to keep you and your daughter safe just file for child support and stay out of his relationship. She’ll find out eventually but at least it wouldn’t put you and your daughter in danger.

File for child support but with his anger issues and alot to lose, I wouldn’t mess with his personal life. Only because of the fact that I read about so many women being murdered in similar situations.

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Sure, tell her, and then watch him have NOTHING to do with you or that baby. You are not going to have him “100%”
Also, your kid likely will not have a relationship with his other daughter either. His girlfriend is NOT going to have her daughter meet some side-chick’s baby. It’s sad when women think getting pregnant in a casual relationship is going to turn into a fairytale romance. Your poor choices have made you and that unfortunate child’s life into a Lifetime movie.

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I was in your shoes but was the other woman I got a divorce I found out by myself but if I had a friend that knew I would have liked to know so I could get rid of him sooner

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Child support!
He needs to help!

Just tell her while he there
Or send the child support papers
Stop worrying about his feelings and think of your daugther. He wasn’t having nothing to say when he was laid up with you

Absolutely tell her. Then you need to understand you cannot control their reactions or their actions after you tell them. He still may not want to be involved with your daughter, and his girlfriend might not want to be involved with you either. But she absolutely deserves to know regardless.

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If you really had no idea about her at all and their relationship, you need to tell her it isn’t your fault that he was lying and screwing both of you.

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Hell I’ll tell her for ya lol. But nah all jokes aside. File for child support. He can’t hide that lol

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The truth will come out. He can’t keep a secret like that for 18 years

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I’d tell her because if that was done to me I would wanna know. You should have told her as soon as you found out. But he ready for her to be mad at you too.

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I’ll do it for you . Lol and say that you were stringing me along the whole time . Win win for you. :slight_smile: Kinda childish. But . Hey

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Run. Just run. Trust me

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If you were smart you wouldn’t put his name on the birth certificate and the day you have your baby you would file for child support. All you’re going to get by telling her is a lot of drama and trust me you don’t want that for you or your baby.

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I was in this position but I was the woman who’s partner cheated. Absolutely tell her, the girls deserve to know one another too. Despite how messy our break up was we get along for the children and they adore their little sister.

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Hopefully you don’t get physically hurt by him. I can see you putting him on child support but sound vindictive wanting to make sure the girlfriend find out.He sounds like he’s not into you. Walk away while you can.

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I’d tell her :woman_shrugging: not telling her protects him and he doesn’t deserve protection.

File a restraining order against him if you’re worried for your safety. Also file for child support. She deserves to know the truth and who knows. If it were me I’d make sure my kids had a relationship with their half sibling regardless.

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File for child support through the state.

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I’d file for child support and sole custody first and foremost, with option for visitation if he wants it but… .once you get a court date I’d tell her a few days later. He can either not show up to court or he can. Either way as you said he has anger issues so don’t be shocked if he ghosts you again. Also the reason for custody and visitation before you tell her is just to protect you n that baby. If you dunno this woman and he is unpredictable; who’s to say they don’t get her for a visit someday and NOT give her back thinking they will just take her and raise her? As crazy as it seems, I’ve seen this happen to a friend. I wish I were kidding. Good luck.

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By filing for child support FIRST😳

File for child support. He isn’t going to be able to hide that money forever

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Not really understanding why you would even want someone in your life or your daughters if they want you and your daughter to be a dirty little secret. Sounds like The girlfriend is innocent in all this and you want to destroy their relationship.

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You can tell her but he still probably won’t be involved. He has character flaws. Get child support and figure out how to raise your daughter on your own.

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If he ain’t involved now, he won’t be and I would still tell her.

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I would tell her fuck that don’t give him an option he fucked up and can up and leave you and your daughter and love a “happy” life with his gf while you are stuck naw fuck that if he up and leaves you at least you got to tell the f so she can up and leave him too! Dick

I would tell her (because if I was her I would want someone to tell me) but don’t fool yourself into believing that her finding out and breaking up with him will make him 100% involved. You talk as though it’s the girlfriends fault he’s not involved and if she would just leave then y’all would be a happy family… when it’s his decision as a grown man to not want anything to do with your child. If he really wanted to be in the child’s life he would be REGARDLESS of how the child came to be or the risk of losing his current relationship. Don’t get your hopes up because her finding out and leaving him would probably make him want to be involved even less because he will blame you and the baby for her leaving (even if he doesn’t know you told her)… because if it wasn’t for you and the baby existing she wouldn’t have left. He’s a piece of shit who will definitely project the blame onto you regardless of what happens because that’s what pieces of shit do. It will be you and the babies fault (in his eyes) for existing instead of his for cheating. I would raise my child and not worry about him. Sounds like a dodged bullet that you’re chasing after. Let him go.

Go after child support listing him as the father… let the state tell her

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Don’t tell her shit. It won’t change your situation. He’s still gonna act how he wants. If he isn’t giving your daughter her place & what she deserves cut him out of your life. He’s always going to put his girlfriend & other kid first. Everything comes to light eventually.

If he is violent you fucking don’t. For all you know, him amd his ol lady might be psychotic. Holy shit

He will have to explain when he gets served with a child support summons

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Personally if he’s got anger issues why do you want your daughter to be part of that? What’s if he gets angry and takes that out on her eventually? I feel like it’s awfully risky and although you may feel like it’s the right thing to do, it could cause a WHOLE lot more problems that you won’t want to be part of. I would leave it, your daughter doesn’t deserve to be a second choice and you can’t make him be a full time dad.

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Ill do it for you! If the shoe was on the other foot I would want to know!

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As many others have stated file for child support and custody first then tell her. She has every right to know what he’s doing behind her back. He was obviously having unprotected sex with both of you and put you both at risk for stds. Something similar happened to me. Dated a guy who lived just over state lines (I’m close to the border) and found out after he went awol on communication that he had a girlfriend and they were expecting a baby. I messaged her right away to apologize for my part in it but told her that he pretended to be single and was on multiple dating apps. I sent her screenshots of our messages what I had left at least because it was over a week before she replied to me and I had gotten rid of most of it. She decided to stay with him. But I was done. It really hurt me emotionally to be the person someone cheated with because I had left my ex fiancé the previous year for cheating on me. Ultimately you’re not to blame because you had no idea of his relationship but it’s still a hard spot to be in.

I would just tell her she needs to know. He’ll be mad but it’s his own fault.

I’d file for support. He will be mad but will get over hisself and even if you can provide everything on your own your child always deserves more if they can receive more from the other parent:) things like this don’t stay secret forever. This way would be a way for basically everyone to know without it being directly said. It may be messy and they probably will split and she may not like you for a while. You can always try to reach out to her. Things will calm down over time tho. Those babies deserve to know their whole family tho. And I’m sure his family would want to know their other granddaughter. If you don’t file for support I’d still tell people personally. Only like his parents and her. Or maybe even just his parents. Tell them he wants it to be a secret but you don’t know what to do because you want your daughter to know her sister and grandparents and other side of her family.

If he has a big anger problem why be with someone that could possibly hurt you or your baby ? Just my opinion

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The truth will come out

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What’s her Facebook ill tell her just so she knows and if she leaves him at the end of the day you and her may be able to be friends and let the kids see each other

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Wow. I’d just call and tell her you would like to meet up and to not tell the bloke. Then you both confront him together with your daughters right there.

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I’ll do it for you too!

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Call me the ignorant one here but in my opinion, when you found out he had a daughter & girlfriend you should have stepped up as a woman and spoken to her. You and that man are wrong🤷‍♀️ She deserves to know💯 put yourself in her shoes.

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Go to the courts love, she’ll find out when the process server ends up at her crib, because most likely that’s where he’s shacking up at.

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Id tell her because odds are you’re not the only side piece

Walk away and be thankful

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It sounds like you only want to tell her because you believe that will make him be 100% involved. I could be wrong. I think you need to do what is best for your baby. He has made it clear you & your daughter aren’t a priority to him. Follow your gut 100%. She deserves to know the truth hands down. Whether you tell her yourself or file for child support & she find out that way. You need to do the right thing. Karma bites. It’s so unfair that he is doing this to her & she may or may not suspect it, too. Put yourself in her shoes…wouldn’t you want to know?
As far as him being involved in the child’s life. If he wants to be a good father & involved, he will be. You can’t force that on ANYONE. You need to leave that up to him 100%. You really need to be asking yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone like that, though.

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Ask for child.support. SURPRISE!!!

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File for sole custody of your daughter an have him served for child support an dna see hiw he explains all that
Your better off without a cheater

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Mail her an anonymous letter…she definitely deserves to know.

I’d forget about him or his feelings. I’d tell her that you had no idea he was in a relationship and that you’re pregnant. I’d seek support from him. He sounds like a loser.

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Forget about him and his feelings, don’t expect him to be involved, and tell that woman because that’s the right thing to do. It’s that simple.

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Imagine this was you, in what you thought was a long term happy relationship. You’re thinking you’re probably going to spend the rest of your life with this man. But he’s sneaking around behind your back and got another woman pregnant. She’s had the baby. He’s still sneaking. Wouldn’t you want to know? Wouldn’t you want to know and be able to move on and be happy? Chances are, he isn’t going to be with you even if she does leave him. You’re second choice. Always have been and always will be. You’re the side chick for a reason. Woman up and tell this woman and serve him with court papers.

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First off you got pregnant after 3 weeks that’s crazy why not protect yourself til you know a person good enough

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As someone who’s been a mess, tell her. Face to face. Not over the phone or text. Forget his reaction and talk to her show her his daughter and tell her you would like if the sister could know each other and grow up together no matter what his opinion of that is. Work things out with her and forget his dumb butt

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File for child support and send to there address :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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File for child support

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Leave the man alone, u were just another fuck, did he carry u to his house? What time u use to call him? just saying u must have know somewhere along the line that he live with another woman, cut ure losses and go with ure daughter , wah mash up the man life and hurt the next woman just because the man nuh want u no more, just ask him for child support and move on, bout u wah go tell the next woman fi wah, she know when u and the man did a fuck KMT

You should definitely just tell this woman.

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Message her and tell her. Or have someone else do it. He deserves all consequences that follow. No person should be cheated on and no person should feel like a dirty little secret :woman_shrugging::crossed_fingers:

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If I were you I would just wash my hands of him. Fuck him. This may be your only opportunity to dodge that bullet and you should take it. You’re daughter is worth more than that scum bag.

Tell his family. Thats how I found out about my husbands baby 🤷

Dont do it. Dont be that girl that hurts an innocent kid for the sake of yours.

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I would definitely tell her only bc the baby should have a chance to know the sibling(s). Or sue for child support and sole custody if he doesn’t wonna be involved and let the child make the decision to know the father/sibling(s) when he/she is older.:woman_shrugging:t2:

Edited to add: i think I’d tell her anyways. She deserves to know. She isn’t at fault, neither are you.

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Should have kept your legs closed

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In other words, you want the girlfriend to find out about you and your baby so she can dump his lying, cheating ass. Then hopefully he will come be with you and y’all can be a happy little family.:woman_facepalming:t4: No matter who tells her, this man is not trying to be with you. You want the girlfriend to know about your baby baby but it sounds like his family doesn’t know about her. It would probably be best to perhaps reach out to his family about your baby. They will probably be a little more welcoming. As far as someone telling the girlfriend, I don’t think you will get the outcome that you are hoping for.:woman_shrugging:t4:

I hope you have texts saying he doesn’t want anything to do with baby. File for child support if you want him involved. But don’t let him see her unless he files for rights. If you just let him see her it will be harder to her back without custody & visitation ordered. His girlfriend may want your baby to raise without dealing with you. As for telling you telling her you need to think of your safety first. Maybe bring her up in court referring to your daughter deserving to have a relationship with her sister.

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File for child support. She ought to figure that out. Who gives a crap whether she leaves him or not. Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to tell you about her before you got mixed up with him. Get your child support girl. Dont be foolish. You owe that to your baby.

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Just file for child support and you won’t have to tell her. She will find out.

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So the guy is a lying, cheating lowlife who dumped you after getting you pregnant wants to keep this all a secret so that his long-term girlfriend don’t find out …who gives a crap what he wants .I would get dna proof and personally take it to his girlfriend

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Id file for cs thats really all you can do shell see it on the paperwork.

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File for child support and let him go…if u think he will be faithful to u and your daughter even if he split with his current gf…u are mistaken…and sounds like shed prob b better off without him also…jmo

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Just tell her wow it’s going to come out eventually you really want this dude and you don’t want him to be made at you and you want her to leave him :woman_facepalming:t3: like if that wasn’t obvious wow !!

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Sis POST IT ON HIS FAMILIES PAGE and tell her ASAP a friend of mine had a similar situation. Trust me the longer you wait the worse it is, he’ll try to carry it to his grave. The more people that know the harder it is for him to keep your child away from their dads side of the family

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I think your worried about the wrong person. Your daughter is the one you need to be focusing on. He doesn’t sound like a prize of a man. Do yourself a favor and stop taking what he may or may not feel into the situation. Do what’s best for your daughter and yourself to get ahead. And nobody deserves to be lied to. What’s done in the dark always comes to light.

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He needs to pay child support…then his “girlfriend” will know. Next time though use protection.

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I truly hope you’re not hoping to be with this cheater! You were being used and had a baby as the outcome! If anything get support! Tell the other woman! Nobody deserves to be cheated on and mentally abused!

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If he’s keeping you a secret, how many other secret girlfriends and secret babies does he really have?

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