Honestly it’s the anxiety of losing the option of more in my opinion… I have 4 children and I’m done 
but I had a scare when my health went down hill and they considered a hysterectomy… I went completely mental wanting another I was so stressed that my choice was being taken from me… turns out the issue I had wasn’t as severe as it seemed and the hysterectomy isn’t necessary… as soon as I knew that I was like wtf I don’t want anymore… what the hell was I thinking…
have a good talk with your hubby have a feel for things 
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Like…not to be a smart ass but if the hole is there for lack of children have you considered fostering? Or adoption? You guys could give some really deserving kids a great home!
Please don’t be greedy. Be thankful with what you have, my son and wonderful wife are trying for a baby and is not happening. Let God be the Answer to all our wishes. 
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Get a cat or a puppy
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Babies dont fix relationships
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There is a void you are trying to fill . 3 kids is plenty with raising these days . I am going to assume you have 3 healthy children be happy with what you have and even though he may get a vasectomy it’s not 100 % either . It’s rare , but it happens .
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HIS BODY, HIS CHOICE:bangbang:
We can’t have it both ways ladies 
we want it to be our bodies and our choice so we need to give men that same energy! The circumstances shouldn’t matter, no ones feelings, none of that 
because when it’s a woman, we all let it be irrelevant & thr only thing that matters is what she wants. So all thay should attend here is what he wants. This woman needs to respect his decision and leave it be.
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Keep going to counseling. These are your issues you are projecting onto him
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I don’t like the comments. Don’t let him do it! Women usually have second thoughts AFTER he does it. If you are already wanting another kid, the biggest mistake will be him getting a vasectomy.
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Instead of thinking about only yourself and how you feel, how about you think about your hubs and how he feels. This is his body his choice.
How would you feel if this was reversed and he resented you for getting fixed??
I understand this is something that affects you both, so you need to have a serious sit down and talk. But in the end, if he wants this, you need to respect that it’s his choice in the end.
What if you got preg again and that made him resent you? Then what??
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Honestly, I’m pregnant with our 8th child and still struggling with this being our last. I know that I do not want more children, but the thought of that being permanent still gets to me. That being said, my husband is still getting a vasectomy after this baby is born and then two months later I’m having my uterus removed completely. I’m trying to focus on the fact that I’m ready to be done with diapers and not getting sleep. I’m ready to be able to go on vacations and trips again. I’m ready to get to the point of having more self sufficient children that can make their own breakfasts in the mornings so I can sleep a little more. I’m ready for all of that, so I’m trying to focus on those things and not the fact that I won’t be having any more babies. It’s a new chapter, and I’m excited for it. So that’s where I’m trying to put my focus now.
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Sound like it’s just tine for a new chapter of “firsts” just because this door is closing doesn’t mean 10 more doors aren’t opening.
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Don’t focus on your “lasts”
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It’s not tho. Yes it may seem final and more difficult for you than him because the control has been taken from you and this is all about him but remember, there’s no 100% guarantee but it can be reversed if you decided in a couple or few years that you want another but you need to think to yourself. What is this need? Why did you need counselling? What number is enough? How many do you need?
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hubs never would get snipped and I never got anything done because “I just wasn’t that I NEVER wanted another one” just turned 39 in may currently 28w4d on number 5 
just let the man get snipped lol #1 it’s reversible so there’s that #2 enjoy the time with your boys do all the awesome things and enjoy the grandkids… just my opinion but I completely understand your feelings as I have not finalized things myself (but will most definitely be doing so this time lol) 
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Well…maybe you could get on birth control? Not sure if you guys talked about that option…but atleast with birth control, it is an option of choice at that point.
However, I do agree with the other commenters, if he wants a vasectomy, then that’s his choice. Especially if you guys did agree on the amount of kids you guys wanted/have.
I’d say you need to talk with him.
It’s not necessarily a forever thing. I mean it can be yes, but later on he could have a reversal if it was something you both were on board with. If you guys agreed on two and then he went for a third…sounds to me like he has been VERY supportive of what you want…you both need to want more. Not just you.
His body,his choice. Be thankful for your 3 kids you do have and focus on them.
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Vasectomies can be reversible 🤷🏻
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His body, his choice, if you all ever do decide you want more kids they are reversible.
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They can be reversal in plans if nessacary
Vasectomies can be reversed, but you need to figure out what’s going on with you emotionally. You need counseling,couples therapy or on your own. You need to get to the root of why you think more babies will satisfy you when you know they won’t. Good luck !
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His body his choice.
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Is it maybe a want for a little girl perhaps? I’d keep seeing a counsellor, as ut sounds like your anger will be punishing your husband, who has done nothing wrong, and it is not an issue you have with him, but rather yourself. Hope you get it sorted.
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You need to talk to your partner and maybe keep therapy to help you get on board with next stage of your life. The kids are growing and relationships change part- that’s the tough part IMO , babies are easy- so how do you navigate the next part… and how do you be you as you not identified solely as a mother…vasectomies and bc are never 100 % so keep in mind that if it’s meant to be it will be. He has a right to say when when it comes to kids too. Talk it out.
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Girl… been there. You gotta grieve what you thought you would have and accept what you do. I wanted three bc I çame from a family of three but after starting a bit later in life and two miscarriages in between my boys we decided two was enough… and honestly it is! But I still grieve what I thought… especially bc I didn’t have a girl. I love my boys soooooo much but I always thought I would maybe have a daughter too. Anyways I still sometimes feel sad but i also know we have two amazing little handfuls that need all our love and attention and that’s how I look at it… also I’m all done with that diaper, up every hour, breastfeeding thing lol. It’s ok to be sad but you gotta just love your life and realize you have what was meant to be yours.
If this was a man saying his wife wanted a hysterectomy, we’d see a whole lot more “their body their choice”. Instead I see a lot of “well its reversible and maybe he’ll change his mind”.
His body, his choice. If hes done, he’s done. Yall have one more than what you originally agreed on already, so he already compromised for you. Full stop.
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It’s his choice, his body. He does not want anymore children with anyone.
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At the end of the day it’s his body and he’s doesn’t want anymore children. You agreed to two and he went ahead and had a 3rd one because it’s what you wanted. I feel like he has compromised enough for your wants but you need accept what he wants as well.
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Instead of thinking of it as the last time you will do this with your kids. Try thinking about how many firsts you still have to experience with your children. You will experience those first things again it will just be with grandchildren one day. Being a parent is an amazing journey and as they get older you experience so much more!
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he can reverse it if he or u or both decide want more kids.
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If you want a daughter just say dat! 
Mom of 4 boys here & I’ve given up lol you should too 
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I mean, he’s not the only man out there 
If you’re not wanting a “last anything” then this doesn’t have to be your last man
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It’s HIS body… you already said you were good with two children. And then YOU wanted another. He compromised and yall had a third… and now you are angry because he doesn’t want a fourth??? He considered your wants and did what YOU wanted to do. Now it’s your turn.
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Curious would you be fine with him having a say so on your reproductive choices? for example if he told you not to get tubes tied, or he had a say so on how many children you had and got mad at you for saying you didn’t want more? If your answer is to keep your body to your choices then I think you would need to re-evaluate how you treat him on his body with his choices.
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That’s his choice. Perhaps you should go see a therapist. Or grow up and respect him.
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You need therapy asap … your husband it’s definitely not at fault…
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I suggest sticking with the counseling.
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I guarantee this would be a completely different conversation if the roles were reversed. His body, his choice.
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A vasectomy is reversible
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If this was reversed… how would you feel ? It’s his body and he compromised with you! Imo this is a you issue and should probably continue with counseling before this drives a wedge.
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Get over that feeling and let him get it with your support. How saddening to think he is about to get operated on so you won’t need to worry about birth control anymore and you’re sitting there mad at the mad. Be there and be supportive and buy him some ice packs and a smoothie for what he is going thru not many men will do it.
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Grow up its his body be glad you have three kids.
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Therapy. What void in your life are you trying to fill with children?
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Girl…I was the same way with knowing we were done. It took all of a year to be SO over they feeling. Give it time.
I ended up having my tubes tied, and I suffered for it. The complications for a man getting a v are much lower. Let him have this…he agreed to a third for you.
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My magic number was 4 
Well I mean it ain’t that final bc my husband had one and a year later I got prego so stuff happens. But it does seem like you could possibly want more otherwise you wouldn’t really feel that way. So I would talk with him and reconsider putting it off and just getting on birth control or something.
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Let the man get snipped !! He gave you 3 beautiful boys, respect what he wants to do with his body and chill out .
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His body his choice let him just like women have rights over their body men do too you all agreed with2 and he still pleased you with #3 the last thing you want is to have another and have him resenting the baby
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Maybe have some of his sperm saved or something incase yall change your mind so he wouldn’t have to do the reversal…also you sure it isn’t the fact that you have all boys and deep down u want a girl. Jw cause I was scheduled to get my tubes tied twice and backed out because I only ever wanted two kids but they are both boys so each time I got cold feet simply because it meant it would be final I wouldn’t ever be able to try for a girl if I changed my mind later on thats why I finally just decided to wait until I knew for sure. Even though I don’t want anymore now that could chance in the future so I didn’t want to make a permanent decision and possibly regret it later.
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God damn you women are rude as fuck. Lots of women go through this feeling when their partner gets snipped it’s normal. Stop being a bunch of bitches
If you truly aren’t ready than you arent 100% i would talk to him and see if he’s open to another one later on and if so you can get on birth control. Vasectomies can be reversed though.
His body his choice. Why should he be forced to have another child when he doesn’t want another one
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Not really fair to keep having children to try fill a “void” in your life. Beyond fucked up go to therapy instead. Every single mum gets upset about having their last baby doesn’t mean we keep having more why should you be so special? Question like this make me mad.
It’s his body, and that’s his choice.
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Vasectomies are reversible. Regardless though. His body, his choice. Imagine it was the other way around, you wanted your tubes tied & he was against it ? You’re allowed to be upset as its a hard thing sometimes but support him as well
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The woman don’t get her girl baby as yet that’s the reason for the resentment…my thoughts🤷♂️
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Vasectomies can normally be reversed so breathe and let him do what he wants with his own body, respectfully.
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Be grateful for what you have!!!
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It’s his body you only wanted 2 but have 3 be happy with that
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Children won’t fix you! You have to fix yourself.
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Would you want to have more if it ment losing you husband.
Find another purpose for yourself outside of parenting…volunteer somewhere, foster dogs and cats…pickup a hobby that rewards you by helping or taking care of others…
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I have three. I got fixed after my third. He was conceived from a condom with spermicide and I was also on the depo shot. My kids are grown. My youngest will be 19 soon. I really do want another baby and that’s why I hope I will be a grandma some day lol.
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I made a appointment for my husband after our third born baby. I did not want anymore kids. He was really awesome and supportive.
Being upset about this situation is normal and having resentment towards him is normal. Your feelings are valid but I would also respect that it’s his body and his decision.
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Im not sure if feeling are based on fact you dont have choice for more kids once done, you havnt had a girl etc. But if you have both agreed on kids and he has choosen not to have more. You cant be angry at him for you changing your mind. Maybe look into fostering or adoption if you feel like you have room for extra child later on
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Having a 4th would mean so many more expenses. Car house money.
It is his choice thou
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You have a supportive husband and three healthy children. Be grateful for what you have, so many others would be so thankful to be in your shoes. He has agreed to one more child which is more than fair. Let him have his vacestomy, he is being responsible. You are fortunate.
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I have 5 kiddos. I was completely done after my 4th but my youngest was a total surprise and I am feeling that way. But side note idk where you live or how things are with your doctor but it just angers me that if I wanted my tubes tied my husband has to sign off in it but men don’t have to have their wife sign off on a vasectomy.
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You have to look deeper than babies to fix you, you can’t always be having babies, look forward to having some you time, its great…I know its not as easy as that but this hole needs something, self love, fulfilment or whatever it is, you won’t know until you get it but try something else other than getting pregnant, self help audio books are wonderful, have a look thru there on your phone xxx
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They are reversible.
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His body, his choice…
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Sorry but it is his body…
You did say both of you decided on 3 kids and if the shoe was on the other foot & you had your tubes tied & he was livid… people would be saying the same thing bout you & slating him for it.
Your maternal emotions are getting the best of you. Perhaps you wanted a girl. Try not to be resentful. It can put a big strain on your marriage. Love the children you have.
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I have to say I know how you feel honestly I really do I’ve always said to myself I would love three children and I’m blessed with the three I have and honestly don’t feel like wanting any more but after having my first two babies I honestly felt the same your not alone … my inbox is always open if you want to talk … I honestly cant believe some of these comments … sometimes these feelings change hun like it did with me after my third baby its an awful feeling I know xxxxx always here if you need someone to talk too xx
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You’re angry at the wrong person.
He has a right to say no.
A baby doesn’t fill a void.
Some women like having babies because it gives them attention and affection.
Maybe it’s something inside you as many psychologists have said that feels empty or you’re upset with.
There is also a condition called Perinatal OCD.
There’s also reasoning of some have issues of their parents abandoning them.
Some do so because eventually they other kids will grow up and need them less.
Another term for wanting children repeatedly is bumpaholic.
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Grow up! He is being sane and responsible. It costs a lot to support kids properly and do righr by each
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You have 3 blessings some people aren’t that blessed and pray for 1 blessings your being super selfish this is he’s choice to make he’s made a decision that he doesn’t want anymore children so you need to respect him
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I wouldn’t have another baby if my hubby and I weren’t on the same page
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Everyone has their own right to have certain feelings but the red flags for me is that you said “anger and resentment” towards him simply because he doesn’t want anymore children. you’re skating on very thin ice and your husband has every right to leave you should you continue with this behavior it is going to become toxic and other people do not make you whole, something else is wrong with you and you need to seek counseling
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That’s a pretty big job for a baby — you expect that baby to fix whatever emotional problems you have. I think your husband sees this motivation of yours and wants to steer you toward a different solution.
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First~ignore all the rude comments. Then~Talk to him. Tell him how you’re feeling. You shouldn’t put your foot down and tell him he’s not getting one but he shouldn’t put his foot down and say he is. It’s a mutual decision because you’re married. There are other types of birth control that can be used and are cheaper and easier to reverse. An IUD lasts years. That way, you’re both at a number of kids you’re comfortable with and you can continue therapy and get to a place where this doesn’t feel so upsetting for you. This is a huge, final step (yes, it’s reversible but is told by most doctors to see it as a final step) and it should be something you’re both happy with. Good luck! 
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Please don’t count on your children to make you ‘whole.’ They will grow up and have their own lives. Get a puppy or find a charity to volunteer with.
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It’s his right to his own body, and also the rest of his life. He might be struggling with the 3 you have already. Not to mention he’s probably stressed about providing and taking care of them too.
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If you keep pushing him to have more kids, he may get fed up and leave. I believe that yall may also need marriage counseling as well and individual. You need to try and get to the root of the problem as to why you don’t feel complete. Maybe you should try to volunteer for the NICU at your local hospital. They have programs where they need volunteers to cuddle babies who are either abandoned or born from addicts. I believe that would give you the baby fix as well as possibly giving you the feeling of purpose/completion. Just an idea:slightly_smiling_face: I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. You are very blessed. Embrace that!
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I understand your feelings, and no matter what anyone’s opinion is your feelings are valid. I’ve always wanted a big family and I could just keep having more lol. This will be my 5th c section and I have to tie my tubes and it breaks my heart. I’m sorry you are struggling, I have those same feelings and they’re hard to work through. Try not to focus on the struggle and focus on the three beautiful boys you have. Best of luck! 
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It appears you’re expecting for kids to fill a ‘void’ and for your husband to conform and deliver to your need. I think this is an internal thing - do some research - why you think children would make you feel whole? Cause you have a purpose maybe? Can’t function unless you feel needed? Like you’re their whole world? Just a thought! No judgment here but this is an internal thing. Has nothing to do with your family. I think you need to have your own identity. I may be wayyy off here. But just from your question - I think you need to have some soul/identity searching and love yourself enough and not tie your whole self to someone - children or not.
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So many couples don’t even get to have one! Women are constantly throwing out to the world that it is their body to do what they want. Well, I guess it is his body to do what he wants. As a couple you need to sit down and talk about each of your wants and why. I would suggest you go to counseling. I understand the final part. I had to have a complete hysterectomy at the age of 31!
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It sounds like you may not be ready for this?? Maybe change the date to give you more time for acceptance or offer to have an IUD put in place. IUDs can be removed pretty easy, if down the road yous change your mind?
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He is being responsible you are the one that’s not if he does not want any more children don’t have any
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Many doctors won’t perform a vasectomy if the wife isn’t on board with it. Talk to him and reflect on your own reasons. Are you really ready to say no more kids or are you thinking this is the best decision but mourning the close of that chapter. He shouldn’t do it if you aren’t both at peace with the decision.
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Put yourself In his shoes,if it was reversed you’d want the support,he compromised with the 3rd I’d think it’s only fair if you would do your part& maybe make it a party that way your not so sad about it
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Try not to take it so hard, the decision to have another baby should be a joint decision, in any case if he doesn’t want any more, then that should be final. If tables were turned wouldn’t you want your decision to be respected? He’s taking responsibility for his decision and I applaud it, it’s not like he doesn’t want kids so you have to take pills or get an iud or keep stocking condoms…
Also, it might be a reversible procedure if you both decide a different route.
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J ust remember that eventually you’ll be a grandmother!Best feeling in the world! & you’ll have more babies.
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My gosh these women are being so insensitive. I think it’s absolutely understandable. For many reasons. Breathe. The one thing about men having vasectomies is they can be reversed. Also, what you may want to do, is figure out your own voids. Most issues stem from trauma, fear or deprivation. I hope and pray y’all can work through this and have some peace for both of you. Enjoy your kids…
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It’s his body.
You need to accept his decision.
He came to a compromise on a third child. You need to respect his wishes to not want to have any more children.
I genuinely think there is something else going on. Because children aren’t supposed to make you feel whole. You need to be whole on your own, and having children add value to your life with their lives. That’s a healthy balance.
But as parents we cannot depend on children to make us whole.
If you are unhappy you need to look at other areas in your life that might be causing your pain.
Children grow and leave the nest. They can’t stick around to fill emotional voids.
Or they will never fully emotionally develop.
Vasectomy has been great for me and my family.
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I think you need to focus on why your current family and kids do not make you feel whole. He may be resentful that you aren’t happy with your current kids. You need more counseling. And he may feel more relaxed after the vasectomy and knowing that it is no longer a thought or consideration.
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I think you need to do a lot of work on yourself and find out why you aren’t happy!
Maybe you need to see a different therapist.
You and your husband both decided to not have any more children so now he’s doing the responsible thing and getting a Vasectomy.
If you continue to have anger and resentment towards him then you will just push him away!
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I think your anger is directed at the wrong person. Its not his fault. You’ve both agreed to it. Its YOU that has these resentful feelings and anger and YOU that has to come to realize that this is it
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