I feel sorry for you and the kids I had the same problem he would text other woman in front of me and I would why you doing this he would say I told you I don’t love you but he was staying with me and eating food I bought he never gave me a cent I had to leave I had no choice I had to start all over again but it was worth it Yoh it was heart breaking at begin I got used of it am happy and free:cherries:
This kind of life is not teaching your children. My children said I should have left long before I did. My children couldn’t stand the way he treated us. Married 43 yrs. 77 yr now and alone and enjoying life
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It was hard reading this because I truly felt your pain. Your marriage is not going to get better unless you tell him exactly what you told us. Give him those details and how you feel unimportant compared to his co workers. Maybe that will open his eyes to how much of a jerk he’s been acting. But if it doesn’t, you can’t live that way. It will break your spirit and no one has power to steal your joy. Good luck.
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Life is way to short to live in that environment. Take your kids and get child support from husband and YOU go live a happy life. A man that loves you wouldn’t make you ask for 12 years 
Don’t waste anymore of your time in an unloved house & go make a happy home somewhere.
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I just want to give you the biggest hug and reassure you that you’re an amazing person and that you deserve better. You need to file for divorce. He isn’t the right one for you
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Get you and your kids out of this awful situation! Don’t you know you deserve better? Or do you want your kids to grow up thinking that this inconsiderate, unloving piece of crap that you are married to is the way relationships are supposed to be?
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He, unfortunately, thinks he has it made. Girl, please- for yourself and those babies- start planning YOUR OWN life without him. Start putting money aside(if u can) and get on with life. You DESERVE better. This is exactly the reason when I got pregnant I did not marry my daughters father. I knew I didn’t love him and I didn’t want to be stuck, unhappy and resentful later on!
I wish u nothing but luck! 
Looks like you want more than he was ever willing to give. You might want to remember how your relationship all started and make the best out of it. … He sure is.
Leave and never look back and focus on healing for you and your kids.
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Lots of female opinions. Only 1 dude, that I saw, and his answer was borish, as usual. “Find someone else” he says.
Okay, here’s the deal. You don’t need to find ANYONE. Make the break, definitely. You’re being used and aren’t loved or appreciated. The only happiness you need to concern yourself with is yours and the 3 kids’. Good luck. Someone who actually loves you will find a way to show you. Like, I love just touching my wife’s skin. Any time of day. A brush against her shoulder, a hug, an impromptu back rub. Every chance I get, I just want to touch her. I love her.
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Time to move on…talking from experience it doesn’t get any better. You deserve more.
Cheating doesn’t just have to be physical. It usually starts out with sneaky conversations. Do yourself a favor and drop him. You deserve so much better than that.
Your husband sounds like a chode. If it were me… I would have left when he kisses another woman years ago. I don’t live your life day to day but I think you’d be happy on your own.
emotional cheating is a thing (idc what any of y’all say) and this man doesn’t deserve another second of your time. everyone’s love languages are different but this sounds like straight up neglectful spousal behavior.
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No feelings. Not good. A couple are suppose to fuel each other. Y’all are running on empty
Reading all this, I think in your deepest of heart, you already know your answer. It sucks and hearing someone else say it to give your feelings validation do matter. You have a roommate, and you know you deserve better. Lots of hugs because I know it’s not an easy decision regardless of the circumstances🖤
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All have given right decision .Take decision now or it will be never.
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Single life is so much easier… Best wishes love
My heart was hurting reading your post. Please leave girl. I’m sorry you wasted so much time already
you already knew the answer years ago and you know now you’ve put yourself in a situationship right from the rip
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So sorry for you. Leave!!
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He’s having an affair of the heart
I think you know the answer to this. It hurts when you love someone that doesn’t love you back. And from what your writing it doesn’t sound like he loves you. It seems like he married you because you got pregnant and it was the right thing to do in his eyes. My advice would be to leave and move on with your life. There is someone out there that will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You don’t want to stay In a relationship and look back 20 or 30 years from now and regret your life. Life is short there is no reason to stay in a marriage that makes you unhappy.
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Oh sweetie, it sounds like you’re the only one in this relationship. He married you out of obligation, and never chose to see you outside of it. You are in a marriage alone and have been for sometime. What do you really think you should do? You know the answer. Get your life back.
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Girl he’s an ass and you know it. There’s no way you can tell all that and then ask if you’re overthinking or is something wrong. SOMETHING IS WRONG. Move on. You deserve better
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have been with my husband for 12 years but I don't think he loves me: Advice?
You already know the answer. Time to move on.
You already know the answer. Just do it.
You already know the answer.
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Why are you even asking this? It’s clear that you need to move on. Sounds like a complete douche. Nobody deserves to have a partner like that
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Wow so sad you definitely deserve better I’d leave asap 
Sounds like my relationship
Your wasting your time …
Leave because you deserve better
Read everything you said, thats enough to tell you hes done
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Yeah that doesn’t sound right.
Also, you said you know he’s not physically cheating yet he works with females that he is in near constant communication with AFTER work so I would think it may be more than texting.
You should leave.
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It sounds simple to me! If you’re not happy, leave him! You deserve a relationship where you feel loved, happy, safe and cared for. And it’s not like you haven’t tried to talk it out with him, if he gets defensive that’s on him. You’ve wasted enough time on him, now it’s your turn to find someone who will treat you right and make you feel like the happiest person on the planet! And when you find that you’ll ask yourself why you didn’t do it sooner 
Leave HIM! I know it’s a long time and you love him but girl it’s better to start over with someone who really loves & cares about you!!
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He sounds like a huge narcissist
For him to react that way while you’re grieving the loss of your dad like that? He doesn’t care about you, time to kick his ass out
I’m sorry so much of your time was wasted on him
Leave dude. I have no idea how you stayed 12 years or married that fuck of a man. He’s a piece of shit and you don’t deserve that.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have been with my husband for 12 years but I don't think he loves me: Advice?
Start doing your own thing. Prepare yourself to be a single parent. Pay no attention to him at all. He will sulk and carry on but it will be all about him. You and your kids are your priority and if you are not happy they won’t be either!! Or just tell him to get out!!
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So why are u with him? Know ur worth. Move on cuz I’m quite sure the kids sees what’s going on. And their mental health means more than y’all’s
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Wow a whole day to mourn your father. That says it right there. Leave him find someone who cares about you and your mental state.
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That boy needs help! I’m so sorry about the loss of your Dad! It seems like he doesn’t know how to respond would he go for therapy?
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I never say this, but leave him. This is so toxic.
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Emotional abuse and emotional cheating. He can do all those nice things but doesn’t want to because he values you less than a friend.
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Many years ago my mom had a therapist who told her that you can’t stay with an abusive husband, or else your son will become like him and your daughter will end up with someone like him. I know you don’t want that.
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U dont need any of us to tell u whats up u know in ur heart what it is and need to figure out what u want based off of what u think u deserve.
That being said . Divorce him u deserve better .
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You need to prioritize your own happiness right now, and work towards establishing a foundation for yourself so when you are ready to leave, you have some financial stability and a support network.
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Read this back as if this was your best friend telling you this story. Give your best friend the advice that you would give them, and then take that advice. It’s so hard to see the situation when you’re in it.
To the rest of us this is toxic and awful. We get halfway though reading this and think, I don’t even need to read anymore, that’s enough, she needs to leave. If you’re not happy, and you’re not. Get out. Life is too short to live in a relationship that’s so unfulfilling
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Everyone in a bad relationship needs to reach a point where they realise that they deserve better, ask yourself why you’re still together, pros and cons. I thought I was stuck with my ex because we had a kid and I didn’t wanna be a horrible mother, but then it dawned on me that my son couldn’t grow up thinking that was normal. I left him and swore I’d never settle for just anyone. I met an amazing guy and we’ve been together for 10 years now.
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Start making an exit plan. Figure out the financial end. Focus on your children and your own happiness. Trust me- they’d benefit more in the long run having a strong, independent, happy mom than watching you be sad and emotionally abused for the rest of your life.
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Sounds like it’s time for you to leave. I was a single mom with 3 kids. Life is to short and it sounds like you have already lost 12 years. I’m now married to a man for 32 years who had never been married . I’ve never been happier. Do what you need to do to make you happy. Sorry your going through this.
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It wouldnt have got that far with me there wouldnt have been two more children with him
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He’s giving everyone else moral support etc and not you. You have tried your best to get through to him and he is there in person,but checked out.
You know what you need to do.
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Honestly, it does not matter how he feels. YOU sound miserable. YOU deserve better.
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No one deserves to be not loved. Carve your path towards finding true love because if you keep it going, it might destroy your mental health
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Sounds very similar to my marriage the worst part is he is the one who left me! I would have just kept tolerating that bs. Divorce wasn’t easy but I am much happier now. I did not find another relationship but he has failed 4 more long(ish) term relationships. Get out now you deserve better! You can make it without him.
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This breaks my heart 
you need to know your own worth and not put up with this lack of respect and love a moment longer xx
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An affair doesn’t start with sex. It starts with conversation and flirtation. You need decide what you’re willing to accept and live with. If this isn’t it then you need to move on. Good luck
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Infidelity isn’t just sleeping around. Its all the things that you have described and he’s doing it right in front of you without remorse. You are in an abusive marriage mentally and emotionally. You have put up with it for 12 years he’s not gonna change. Why should he. So you need to change if not for Yourself do it for your Children living in that environment with so much stress and tension is unhealthy for you and them. Good luck
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He definitely sounds like he doesn’t care about you or your mental state. Your his wife you are supposed to be his queen. Not his push over. You deserve love, happiness and everything else that comes good from a relationship. You have tolerated more than enough and deserve much more! He does not respect you or your feelings especially in regards to all these women. Good luck and I hope you come to the right decision for you and your kids.
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It is clear he does not love you and you are not a priority to him. You are worth much more than that. The hardest part is not leaving, it’s realizing you wasted so many years of your life because you were scared to leave that’s the hard part. I had your exact same situation, I literally felt you were telling my story. I left after 10 years. Now, I kick myself for questioning his love when so clearly didn’t exist. Not sure why I didn’t see what everyone else could.
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Its time to leave,love. You clearly are not getting what you deserve. Also your children can feel all of that tension. Two separate happy parents are better then two parents together and miserable. Good luck
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Girl do yourself a favor and love yourself enough to walk away and find real love because this is not it. You are a live in maid/nanny.
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You have one short life to live and you’ve already went a decade without being happy… Leaving is the first/hardest step.
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He is not being emotionally available for you…honey…move on…heal you…if he does love you…he will realize what he lost when you leave…if not…he’s not interested in making it work…do you.
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Yes you DO know what to think. You’ve wasted enough of your life with him, don’t waste ANY more!
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I only got a quarter of the way through this before I knew that this marriage needs to end. You deserve so much better.
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Leave him! He’s
cheated on you in the past (BJ). During your whole relationship with him he has continued to cheat on you emotionally by communicating with numerous women. My advice is to take his child support payments, find a guy who actually cares about you (And the kids.) and live happily ever after.
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He’s playing you honey. Now go visit an attorney quietly and get your financials straight for the day they serve him the divorce papers. If he isn’t physically cheating he sure like to emotionally cheat on you over and over again!
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I know everyone has an opinion. I say start praying about this. Go to church. Take your kids. Ask him to go with you. My husband cheated on me several years ago. God wanted me to forgive him so I did. I dont trust him like I did before this. But I know if we didn’t have God in this marriage it would not had lasted. We will be married 30yrs on August 5th this year. Please give God a chance. It could change your life.
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Well young lady have you taken this up with Jesus? Haters stop right there. If you have a conversation with God and ask for guidance you will get it.
You can pray for clarity or pray that your husband will recognize what he has right in front of him but you can’t ask for anything hateful. That does not mean the message you get is leave him because it may be. Most churches are not fans of divorce. But again most churches , even my Catholic Church, has come to accept that divorces happen to good people. So I will pray for you now.
Dear Lord Jesus please guide this young lady to the place of comfort and peace. To a place of a loving caring relationship. Help her husband see clearly how his wife feels and how this effects his children. We ask for some of Solomons great wisdom and your great love. We ask this in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ who lives and reigns with God the father and the Holy Spirit one God forever and ever Amen
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I think you already know. It seems like a loveless relationship and it’s not healthy for you or the kids. No one deserves to feel unloved and I know there is someone out there for you will to be your other 50%. Best of love to you.
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You deserve to feel loved and appreciated and it is his job as a husband to make sure he shows it and you feel it. He is not trying and I think that if he loved you he would try and he would do these things without question. Also if he loved you he would be content with you and wouldn’t feel the need to talk to other women. You deserve better.
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I was in the same situation for 21 years. We were more like roomates than partners. My mom passed away and he was not there for me either. I finally had enough a year ago and ended it. U will get to your breaking point and end it one day too. U deserve better. Stay strong and get out as it wont get better.
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You deserve better than that I would definitely leave sounds like he’s caring more for his co-workers then you and that’s not on
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I feel this. Honestly just leave you can’t raise a man and you can’t tell someone how to love you if he did it would show…just leave it will hurt st first but honestly the shit you’ve been dealing with it couldn’t hurt much more. Don’t let a bad apple rot your crop.
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Firstly, I’m so sorry that you are living this way and have endured his ignorance, betrayal and lacklustre for so long. I’m sorry for the loss of your Father, and lack of support from your husband. That must be incredibly difficult, especially seeing as though he has been so caring and supportive of a co worker’s loss. That’s cruel and insensitive. You deserve so so much more than this. This is not the way it should be. From what you have said here, He is deceitful and seems to betray you continually. Get out. He will never change and that void will never be filled by him. You are worthy of so much more. X
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Messenging another woman daily builds up a friendship the sort that gets close and the sort that leads to flirtation and an affair, know your worth and don’t let that behaviour become acceptable when he shows you little to no attention. Don’t settle being unhappy, life is too short for that <3 x
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So sorry for you loosing a parent is hardest thing ever and not been allowed to mourn , I know how you feel and you have a life and you need to take it back do some councilling for you , and you will be fine on your own with the children I know it don’t seem like it but you will .as you can’t live this toxic life with someone who doesn’t love u and emotionally bully you . I wish you all the best stay strong 
you can do this you have a life
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He has shown all the signs. It sounds like you are rationalizing and excusing at times, get help to have the strength to leave. There are men who can be what you deserve
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Dr Phil used to say the only thing worse than being from a broken home for kids is living in one.
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He’s your husband by name only. Unfortunately you two decided to create a relationship based on one night.
Cut your losses and move forward
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I think when we ask these questions we already know deep down. I went many years feeling this & I wish I left sooner as it’s a horrible feeling not feeling loved or appreciated. And from my experience, the phone & texts are usually more than what they say they are. Trust your gut 
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You deserve better and your children deserve better. Life is way to short to share with people who make you feel small.
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Doesn’t sound great, the msging other women must have u massively questioning things. But if u don’t feel wanted in this and he isn’t there to support u, then he’s only going to drag you down by the sound of it. Even if ur not a romantic person u still do something for bdays,Xmas ect so thats no excuse. Only you know the whole situation,theirs obviously something that has kept you together so long, but if you can’t find that anymore sounds like you may have a to question if all this is worth it.
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I think you need to divorce him, I think he’s only with you because you got pregnant the first time you guys were together. I’m sorry you’re going through this but you deserve to feel loved in your marriage !!!
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It’s so hard but leave the right man will love you and show you he does without you having to beg for it I’ve been there and it sucked so much and I felt stuck and like there’s no way I’d find someone else and we’ll I’ve spent the past year with the most amazing understanding man I never have to beg for attention or tell him I need to be shown love he just does it
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I hate to say it but he will leave you for another women eventually. You are not happy and are being treated like shit, you are right I don’t think he loves you the way a husband should love his wife. Leave and start living your life and stop being a second to his. You deserve better, you deserve presents, support, snuggles, a slap on the butt when your making dinner, you deserve to be happy and deserve a better man or even just a happier life.
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I think you already have your answer, now its just time for you to accept it and move on with your life and find your happiness! This man has shown you more ways than you can think of that you aren’t number one in his life and has no plan on giving you that spot. Time to move on and leave that headache for someone else 
!!
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Honey, he doesn’t love you. I doubt a marriage counselor could help. Sock away some money, contact family or friends for support and file for divorce.
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If someone gave me a day to mourn the loss of my father, that would be enough for me to ditch him right there. The love you deserve is never gonna come from him. Cut your losses and leave, you will be ok. Be free to find the actual love of your life. Aside from that get happy on your own first, you’ll be invincible xx
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Please find yourself – even if it means without your husband who obviously shows any compassion or kindness toward you.
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I think you know the answer to this question. Ask him out right, hear it from the horses mouth. Then get an amicable divorce. You deserve someone who not only wants to be with you but loves you
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Deep down you already know what to do, just because you have kids together doesn’t mean you need to stay together. I had 3 children with my ex and I was just wasting time with him & wasn’t happy so I immediately told him that it was over after 5 years. So now is your decision to make that decision for you and no one else. You deserve better but right now what you need to do is make yourself happy first and happiness will find you in time.
Best of luck 
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I think you don’t need any of our advice you already know in your heart… sad for you dads passing…my mom just passed away you just let my spouse tell me I’ve grieved enough…I’d be making copies of his consoling text to these other women and it is on
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It seems that counseling may be important right now. I don’t think anyone here can really give you the answer you’re looking for. Unless someone has gone exactly through the same thing you have.
It’s so difficult to gauge what someone is thinking or feeling especially if they don’t communicate with you. To me it seems like maybe you might want to consider a separation. Your kids notice a lot more than you think they do. And they get their relationship dynamics from You and your husband. So you may unknowingly be teaching them that the dynamic between you and your husband is OK. If you don’t like the way you’re being treated and he’s not listening to you and gets defensive when ever you try and communicate, it seems like maybe it’s time to put an end to it. It doesn’t even really matter at this point if he loves you or not. His behavior is inappropriate with other women and with you.
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Breaks my Heart. You need to Leave it is all about him. You know in your Heart he does not care. He does not love you leave him. There are always someone that loves you believe. You deserve to be love hold your head up and walk away you are a princess act like princess and believe God is with you
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Save time hun move on now dont do like I did wait 30yrs an thro ur life away some1 out there will love u an ur kids tol the end just pic with open eyes an ur heart
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He’s cheating kick him out I’ve been in this situation and I was only married 6 months xx
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