So I have had to make some difficult decisions lately and I’m having a lot of mom guilt.Little back story, 6 months ago I changed jobs for a pay cut a better home life. But than we got hit with a lot of unexpected financial expenses. We have been falling behind and money is tight. I got offered a traveling position for 3 months in a different state. One week pays what I make in a month. At the end of the 3 months, most of our debt will be paid off and we would have money in savings.Iv decided to accept and leave in a week. but this means leaving my kids for 3 months. I can fly home see them on the weekends I’m not on call at the hospital and face time every day. But I hate leaving them. Iv never had to before. They are my whole world, but I know financially this could change how we live.Are there any other moms on here who had to leave their kids for extended time? How did you deal with it? Does anything make it easier?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have mom guilt for leaving my kids for a job: Advice?
I’ve never had to and I know it would be super hard. But if it is something that is going to be helping us, I’d do it. As long as they are in good hands and you can visit every so often or call everyday. 3 months will fly by. Good luck❤️
You are doing what any mom should do to provide a great life for their kids…you got this mama!!
Girl you better go! As they get older they will undertake. You’re providing a better life and giving them all the want and need. That’s not selfish that’s strong
Thats got to be tough. But you are doing it for them and their future and you need to remember that. It will all be better in the end
Ma’am you have to do what you got to do
How old are the kids? That makes a different. Never had to leave my kids when they were small… but now that my daughter is older… I have only left her for a week… well actually like 9 days with travel since I don’t fly… she handles it well… it started when she was 14.
If you have the support at home DO IT!!! Changing your financial situation will give you and your family peace of mind abd security. 3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things and not having to be on call is priceless imo lol
You are a kick ass mama either way. Your kids are lucky to have a mom who will do anything to support them and make ends meet.
If there little they wont remember in the long run if they are bigger u are showing them u do what needs to be done for ur fam weather u like it or not even when its heartbreakingly hard but it seams like the right decision for ur fam no one can ever fault u for that even ur kids…there will be an adjustment when u leave and when u come back my suggestion would be not to waste to much of the money u will be making going back and forth 3 months really isnt horribly long again if they are small it will be harder for u then them
You should never ever feel guilty for working hard for your kids, 3 months might sound like a long time but time will fly , I promise you, and at the end you and your kids will be benefiting from the sacrifice you are about to make ,thanks God for the technology, you are going to be able to see them every single day .
You go this mama !!!
It would be tough but think in the grand scheme of things 3months isnt long to turn your living situation around gd luck your been a great mum
You got this Go and best of luck …
There’s nothing that makes it easy to leave your children for any amount of time in my opinion. Keep your head up and know you are doing what needs to be done for your family to live a happier life.
As hard as it’s going to be to leave them, the financial security will be worth it in the end. Do your best to stay in touch as much as possible, and get through the 3 months. You will be thankful you did it in the end.
Its 3 months. They will be fine
It’s only 3 months and you’re helping your entire family tremendously by making that $$$. Do not feel bad! Kids are super resilient and it could even help them appreciate you more once you return. You’ll stay busy with work and they’ll stay busy with school and such… it will all be fine!
Look at it like a paid vacation that u can easily leave and go back anytime. If it will improve your family life best to take the job🔥 you got this mum. Just make sure u have the best caregivers in place
One day at a time. Also send cards. Ask them to journal with pictures and words so they share their days with you. Take pictures of you at work. Give them a timeline so they can think of you in time and place
You keep busy, face time and know there is an end. Stay on a budget. If necessary consider moving if the job becomes permanent. Stay steong
If you can spend only 3 months to make your lives more comfortable that reduces the stress longterm. Allowing for you to mentally take care of yourself better which means they’ll get a happier mom too. You can’t pour from an empty cup. It’ll be tough, but by the sounds of it the payoff in the end seems well worth it.
You’re doing what’s necessary! Keep in touch whenever & wherever possible. Congratulations to you.
It’s only 3 months and things will be better in the end. Do you have supportive family to help ease the burden? I hope you do. You did mention you can come home on the weekends, right? Just make sure you get everything in writing from your company. Good Luck!!
Know that good people will be caring for your kids, and X off the days until you can see them again. Kids are resilient. I know someone who was in a similar position (went overseas before cell phones & Face Time/Zoom too) and her son was always very close to her even as an adult. He had a great relationship with his grandmother who watched him too, but there was never a question about who his mom was and how much he loved her and vice versa. Go, skip the guilt, use technology to keep in touch and you’ll all be fine.
I know that sounds like a long time and I would be just as upset as you are if I had to leave now, even with a 20 year old and a 17 year old. But just think, in 3 months, you and your family will be in a much better place and you’ll be able to live happily without financial stress. Make the best of it. We all support your decision, we know it’s not an easy one.
People defending your country leave their families for a lot longer.
If they are old enough…explain your circumstances and the changes these 3 months will make to your lives. Keep regular contact . The time will fly past .
You are an amazing momma to sacrifice this for your babies ! You are doing what’s necessary to give them the best life possible ! You can visit and FaceTime and when they get older and can understand they will appreciate the sacrifices you made to give them a better life
Why feel guilty for doing what you have to do to make sure they have food on the table, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads?
3 months to make your lives better. Yes it is hard at first, but count every second and remember the why. Time will fly.
You got this!! It will be worth it in the end!!! Good luck!!
Apologies for dropping this here but it feels too great to stay quiet, Good work needs recommendations.
C oonnect with Mrs
My husband did it for over a yr. We’d see him about 2-4 days a month. If we were lucky.
Our son was almost 2 when he started and just after 3 when he stopped.
Was it hard…yup. But that was on us adults lol
My son just went with it…he enjoyed the days we had dad…then got into the routine we had when it was just us 2.
Then eventually dad found a job local that paid similar…so we got him back full-time.
The relationship dynamic never changed. Cuz we all worked hard to maintain it. We FaceTimed daily…and we really soaked up those days he was home…quality over quantity.
Like is it hard…sure. But I find it’s harder on the adults. Kids just seem to adjust better as long as the foundation never shifts and they know they’re still loved and cared for.
I keep smiling anytime I invest with her, she is is good at what she does, she’s an expert trader:point_down:
Don’t beat yourself up about it. Cry if you need to but you are doing what’s best for everyone. Just keep telling yourself “I am a great Mom and this is for them.”
Three months seems like a long time, but if you get to see them on the weekend - that 3 months will fly by. If you were in the military, you wouldn’t see them for 9 - 12 months.
Sounds like me. The most important thing is to make sure they are taken care of and that is exactly what you are doing. You are providing a better life for those kids. Sacrifices have to be made and it’s hard but look at it in the long run. They will know their Mama always made sure they were taken care of and they’ll understand, if not now, when they are older.
You are doing what’s best for your family.I know it’s gotta b hard to b away from them but it will b worth it.
Big ups to you mom!!! You doing it!!! Invest in a Facebook portal! You can watch live in your home from anywhere. Definitely hard!!! Take pictures tons of them…show the kids! Make the best of it! Plan a trip there one day. You got this!
Go mama!! You got this!!