I just don't know what to do anymore

I wanna just give my baby my last name and then claim all the kids next year since I’m the one that has provided 90% of care and stability to all my kids. Is that wrong? I just wanna do the right thing. I’m emotional because I’m 22 weeks pregnant and it has been so hard to be taking care of everything with little to no help from the dad. He is 7 hears younger than me and has a hard time grasping reality that he is about to have 2 kids within a year; 2 under 2. I feel if i give him the satisfaction of claiming a child or both children, he would be getting free money and not being able to support with a job. My friends and sister tell me that i have worked like a dog for the past few years and that it just wouldn’t be right to let him claim kids he barely helps out with. Like i said, I wanna do the tight thing but I’ll be out of a way to get caught up on everything so the kids and i aren’t homeless. I do plan on working again after the baby so I’m not money hungry in any way. I just wanted to take a break during my last pregnancy and enjoy it while i can. Also, my ex has stolen my laptop for money this year on top of cheating on me for a whole year and i kicked him out so we can just focus on being good parents.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just don't know what to do anymore

Claim your kids Mama .


Why would you let him claim them when he barely has helped? Claim your kids!


Even if they don’t have your last name you can claim them and have every right to. He can only claim them if he has their social, don’t give it to him and if he somehow has them you can get him in trouble for claiming them.

Claim all your children , and if he not working claim his ass too.

Claim your kids and be happy stop stressing dont worry about him honestly you need to look out for you and your other kids

You’re legally entitled to claim all the children if they are living with you for more than 6 months out of the year and if you’re doing most of the supporting where the children are concerned you get to claim them anyhow


Legally, he shouldn’t be claiming them if they haven’t resided with them more than 6 months out of the year and he pays for the majority of their expenses.

Why do you keep getting pregnant by a man that’s not doing anything for you or your kids? Girl kick him out and move up


My daughter has her fathers last name, I claim her every year.

Ummm NO, HE is the one that should be concerned about doing RIGHT by his kids. He has NO LEGAL RIGHT to claim the children HE isn’t contributing to the support of PERIOD. He is obviously Not doing it on his own, So you have been left with no other alternative than petition for child support. The JUDGE makes the determination who claims the children based of WHOM the children live with and are Supported by. Get the courts involved


Claim them ! I’m not judging you but why are you still having children ? Sounds like you are the only parent, take what you deserve. Claim them :heart:


Go to court for a child support order and a visitation schedule make sure you think about school so they are home on school nights. In the order if he is father of both kids have it set up where he can claim one child for federal income tax IF he is current on child support and does not owe one dime in support also have the support go through the state they can garnish his wages and send you the checks so that is nothing preventing him from paying off he is working. Yippy can also have it added that he is responsible for half of daycare, has to keep health insurance on them, half of school fees and supplies.

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I have two under two and do everything myself but my kids have their fathers last names. F him and claim your babies. You’re doing the work not him.

Claim them kids. And stop having babies with boys.


Oh wow. It would have been better if you had kept this a secret from him. To late now. Since your not married you can leave the father’s name off. Just say you don’t know. He’d have to fight for rights. Kick him out now. Consult with an attorney.


In legal aspects its whoever provides the majority or financial care and who ever the child is with most of the time. As far as the last name I resented my mother for giving me her last name and not my fathers. It might upset your kids in the future but if hes the dad and claiming the kids as his why keep him off the BC? Sounds childish and petty especially if hes in their life.

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Always give your children your name. You are/will be the 1 doing everything. Men have the choice to stay or leave. As for claiming them legally he can not since he’s not supporting them. In order to claim the child you have to be supporting them 183 or more days a year. He has no legal entitlement to claim them.

If you are supporting them then take the tax deduction! Housing, food, clothing, medical are all part of the deduction as well as getting the checks from the government. If he contributes half of those support costs then he is entitled to at least share in the tax claim.


Just kick his ass out !! Are you serious and quit having kids wth :woman_facepalming:t5::woman_facepalming:t5::woman_facepalming:t5::woman_facepalming:t5:

I’m confused
Whoever the children reside with the majority of the year and the person that FINANCIALLY supports them should be claiming them
Assuming you recently kicked the father out and you aren’t working then I’m sorry he should legally be the one claiming them
Now if you have been working that’s a different story and you would have every legal right to claim them yourself

This doesn’t make any sense. If he’s not involved why would he claim them? Also, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can not work so you can enjoy it. Most women work up until they go into labor. Most even with a partner contributing. I just don’t get this whole free ride mentality that everyone is ok with these days.


I’m in the same situation but I have 7 days left till my due date. Using his last name has to be earned. We weren’t married, no longer in a relationship bc he left me, he hasn’t been supportive, and I’m actually going thru domestic violence right now with him too. Even if I wasn’t going thru domestic violence I still would not give him the last name.

Same goes for claiming child on taxes, especially the first year!! I carried this child for 9 months with no support from him. Not once did he help during pregnancy. He won’t be helping me on maternity leave either which is unpaid!! I will be primary caretaker. If my ex ever takes me to custody court or child support court I will be putting in my parenting plan that if he misses 3 child support payments or more thru out the year or doesn’t pay full amount he is not entitled to claiming child on taxes.

The right thing to do is to support yourself and protect your child. Do not rely on your ex!! Prepare to be parenting alone!! Make your ex work for everything!!! Do not put him on the birth certificate, make your ex work for that!! If your ex really wants to coparent with you he will do the leg work to make that happen. Do not help him be a good dad! If you help facilitate a relationship with ex and baby then really your ex isn’t parenting- he isn’t really trying bc you’re doing the work for him!

This is the advice I have gathered from other moms dealing with a shitty ex. I suggest you join your local single parenting fb groups. If you believe your ex is a narcissist there is a coparenting with a narcissist fb group too. You’re welcome to message me if you’d like a friend! :relaxed:

If they don’t reside with him for at least 6 months a year, he can’t claim them. If he’s not providing any support therefore he’s not legally able to claim them.


You don’t have to give him your last name to claim him. Unless it’s written out in your child support or parenting order, you claim them EVERY year.
I’m a single mom (truly single don’t date either) of 5 kids. My twins being my youngest. I claim them every year. I have a parenting plan with my ex husband for my girls and we alternate claiming them. Their dads also pay child support and have them 130days a year. My boys’ dad has never had them.

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Claim what YOU HAVE EARNED!!!
Also maybe reevaluate the whole “man child” because if he’s not providing now, he probably won’t ever. He’s comforted living off you. That’s not a relationship I’d want to be in. Nor have my kids grow up in, seeing mom bust ass, while dads worthless.
Know your worth!!!

the person providing the care, physically and financially, should be the one that claims them. Not sure I’d be so quick to let him have their social security number. File early, like the first day.


My children do not have my last name but I am the one who takes care of them who houses them who buys everything for them so I claim them… My 2 youngest father can’t claim them even if he tried

There are only certain circumstances in which I feel the parent not living with the children should be able to claim any children. The one who provides the most should claim the child. I have it written into my divorce that I am the only one who claims the children. And the irs sides with the parent who the child resides with the most throughout the year. As for the last name it doesn’t matter tax wise whose last name the child has but you can name your child whatever you want. And if you haven’t dumped him already, what are you waiting for?

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No. You have the kids full time. You provide so you get that money to continually provide or get caught up where you couldn’t before because of providing.

You had 2 kids with a kid barely old enough to get a job wtf are you doing having babies with a kid …you should of been more responsible and not got prego by a boy


you do what you need to provide a roof over those kids. Nothing selfish about that. He should be doing the same

The last name has nothing to do with claiming your kids on taxes… If you are the one providing for them and making majority of the money it’ll be more beneficial for you to claim them… But no matter what, if your gonna stay in the same situation doing the same things then the taxes dont really matter because yall still gonna struggle with finances and happiness


Children can still have the fathers last name without him claiming them for taxes. If the kids live with you 90 % of the time you claim them unless it’s court ordered otherwise.


Sounds like a bunch of uneeded drama. Jeeze girl pull yourself together and take care of those kids on your own. Hire a lawyer and figure it out!!! Also keep your damn legs closed and stop having kids

Girl bye. He woukdnt get a dime from me. He steals from you, he steals from his children. Period.


Sounds like you have 3 children …. Do yourself a favor and go make a life for you and your babies. Without him. CLAIM YOUR KIDS. Him getting all the perks and not providing anything is wrong. You’re letting him get away with it. Stop it. Stand up for you and your kids.


You’re already doing it ALL by YOURSELF. You have sole custody. You owe him nothing but a court date for child support. Assume nothing contact a tax professional to FULLY UNDERSTAND who gets to claim the children & why. PLEASE Don’t share the kids social security numbers with him or anyone.

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Who has the kids more than 50% if the year? You? Well there is your legal answer

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Honestly …if you knew he was not helping with 1 baby
Why are you having another with him
You had a choice then and still do but we as women need to see more self worth in ourselves before thinking someone else will see it


Child tax credits are not rewards for just having children. If you are the one who supports them, you are the one entitled to the credit. Do you live with the babies Dad? Do the children live with you for most of the year? If you don’t live together and the kids live with you most of the time that credit is yours. If he has a problem with it he can take you to court, but it doesn’t sound like he has the means or maturity to do that.


Wait a minute, so he’s 15?! Lmao! Nevermind, 22 weeks pregnant. I was so confused for a minute. Sorry.

You put in the work to support the kids you eat to claim the kids. Don’t let him especially if you need the money to cash your bills up. Plus this year with the stimulus you get extra money and if your getting the monthly money now you will need to claim them so you don’t have to pay that money back. And if your not getting the monthly payments you’ll get extra money at tax time. Claim the kids and get your money. Don’t worry about him. Worry about you and those babies.

My parenting plan with my son’s dad is set to where I claim him every year. I raise him the majority of the time, I claim him.

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Last name has nothing to do with taxes. But quit baby sitting the adult child and move on. You can take care of The kids in your own without needing him I’m sure, he’s the excess baggage


My boys see there dad BUT he dosent help financially in any way he just takes trips with his wife to new york and las vegas i claim all my kids i bust my a*** to make sure they have everything

The one who provides gets to claim them.

Last name has nothing to do with taxes.


You worry about you and the kids claim them all and let him get ahob and grow up you dont need to raise him to

No way, you claim them! … the name is a different story. That’s totally up to you

Claim your children. He deserves not a damn thing

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Claim your children!

If you claim them you can do right by them with the money instead of letting someone else just throw it away

I claim my kids and they all have my last name. I told their dad if we get married then we can change their last name to our last name but until then I provide daycare food cleaning services for the house and carpool for everyone so they have my name cus I do it all.

There are a couple things about this that bring up questions for me or maybe it’s steps that you need to ensure you and you children are taken care of.

  1. Get or establish custody of your children (if you haven’t done so DO IT NOW)
  2. File for child support wether your together or not. (he laid down and made em he needs to be responsible also)
  3. The children don’t need his last name for you to file or claim them as defendants.
    Obviously we don’t know your entire story or situation but if your doing it alone and want to establish yourself as a single parent make sure to take the steps for your kids and yourself. One last thing… You deserve better and I think you know that. God Bless you❤️
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If you are not married, in the state I’m in (north carolina) you do not have to let him claim the children. You can file separately and claim them on your income taxes. Every state is different. Right now our tax offices are starting to open up and you can call and speak with a tax consultant for better information for your area. Do I think you are in the qrong? Absolutely NOT! He needs to man up and accept responsibility for his children, you didn’t create them on your own. Look out for your children. Do what needs to be done. I wish you the best momma :heart:

A child has to be in your care for six months or more out of the year for you to claim them anyway so sounds like he’s out anyway.

You can give the baby your last name and claim the children on taxes.
I claim my oldest 2, and my twins are claimed by their father every year. He doesn’t claim his older 3 due to an agreement with their mother in their divorce.
As far as the name goes, you can give that baby any name you wish; just because he fathers the child doesn’t give him an entitlement to have the child carry his name. All of my children have their fathers last names.
All that aside; it sounds like you have some soul searching to do in terms of your relationship. If he’s not doing his part now, do you feel as if he will do so after the baby gets here? Don’t be single while in a relationship.


If he isn’t helping with the kids or supporting them in any way he should not be able to claim the kids on taxes. And go ahead and give that baby your last name.

You are the one who is supporting your family. You give your child your last name at birth. If the father decides to step up and be a parent to them then at that pt you can reconsider a name change or hyphenate name. He has alot of growing up to do to deserve respect from you in my opinion. Move on and get the love and respect you are do sweetie. Know it’s hard …been there…

If you feel he is a good father then give the baby his last name for “legacy”. If you feel he is unreliable then by all means give the baby your last name. Taxes- You just show you are the financial provider. Plus, you are their mother! You guys are together how long? How reliable is he? Why would he claim them if he isn’t working?

my kids have their dad’s last name I claim them both idk what you are talking about name has nothing to do with primary care


Give baby your last name and claim your child on taxes, Dad isn’t owed anything. Let him 6take you to court if he wants the childs name his and wants to file taxes with the child. Your doing all the support, stop worrying about him and worry about tje kids. Put the kids first not him.

In WA state if you’re not married and you don’t have a parenting plan in place that determines alternating years to claim the children (if it isn’t a 50/50 agreement then the parent HAS to be current on child support for them to qualify), then you would have to sign a release form for him to claim them. He doesn’t get to just claim them, however it can’t stop him from trying. So if he tries to claim them first and beats you this tax season, you would have to file on paper and then the IRS would send you both letters, he would have to amend his taxes and that process can take several months to clear up and it’ll be a while before you’d see any of that money. The pandemic prolongs things even more.

That is just WA state though, idk what it’s like in other states. I just spoke with our tax lady last week. At any rate, you are the main custodial parent it seems and unless he’s providing more financial support for those kids than you are, you have every right to claim them yourself.

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If you are concerned about keeping money you don’t have yet, you have too much time on your hands. A tax refund is not a savings account or joint assets to be fought over, there are actually people who don’t get refunds not because we make so much money but because we know more money in our wallets each week is better than that refund that is way more than what was deducted from your pay, if this is what you are concerned about 7 years younger than you is not an issue, both of you are too immature to have children!


Get :clap:t3: YOUR :clap:t3: money :clap:t3: girl!!! You more than earned it! & don’t let anyone make you feel any different!

You claim them I believe IRS is 6 months and 1 day legally has the right to claim

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It’s not just anyone can claim them for money, if they live with you and you provide more than half of their support you claim them. Unless there are court stipulations that say otherwise.

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You claim them. They live with you, you support them. He’d have to have you sign off on a form 8332 in order for him to claim them. File quick before he does. If he happens to file before you and claims the kids (don’t let him know the ssn of the newborn and he can’t claim him /her), then be prepared to dispute it and show you’ve had the kids, you have custody, etc. But he can’t claim them if he doesn’t have their ssn.


Usually in most states if you’ve opened a child support order and it goes into arrears, which it sounds like that’s the case if he’s not financially stepping up, any tax money he has coming will typically go towards the rears. The above comment that you have to have or provide for said child 6months out of the year in order to claim them on taxes, unless court ordered differently, is correct. You should check with your local Child Support Enforcement and they can help answer these questions. Good luck momma!!

Girl you better file the earliest u can, claim the kids and let him find out when he gets red flagged! He is no good!

The right thing to do would be for you to claim those kids. Don’t give rights to a man that doesn’t participate in parenting!! I’ve been through this. I was the only one working, the only one taking care of the kids… he slept all day and played video games all night. With you claiming the kids, you know the money will go towards them and the household. Who knows what he would do with the money. If he has a problem with you claiming them, then he can be a more active parent. On a side note, if you continue to allow this behavior, it will continue. If you want better, you’re going to have to close that chapter and move on.


They don’t have to have your last name to claim them. Mine dont. Both my kids have their fathers last name. But I am the sole provider. We never questioned who was going to claim them. If y’all weren’t married and he claims them behind your back he can get into deep trouble with the irs and you can fight it. Just be quick claim then early then you don’t have to deal with the drama.

My opinion is give baby dads last name but them taxes, that’s all you

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  1. I will never understand why it is always assumed the baby gets dad’s last name automatically when the mother is the one who carries the child in her body gives birth usually does at LEAST 90% of the child rearing it should be more common that child gets moms last name so go right ahead 2. Why if you are the one doing all the supporting should he get to claim ? 3. When people show you who they are please believe them. Age has nothing to do with growing TF up when you are grown enough to make a human being. You can’t make someone change or grow up that’s something they have to do on their own just worry about you and your kids :v:
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So do it. I was married when I had my (our) son. But he was too busy video games and Dungeons an dragons playing…so baby came and my son was given my last name because I knew it would be over before long. And by time I was celebrating a 1st year birthday I was a single mom. If ur bf steps up later u can always change the last name.

I wouldn’t even put him on the birth certificate. Then give your child your last name… problem solved.

Don’t give him the child’s social security number. Then he can’t claim anything.

If you are the sole provider then it should be you claiming any child tax credits.


Keep him out first. Give them your name if you like. You don’t owe him a thing. Hes selling your things, hed probably offer up the kids for the right price. You claim them.I’d completely ditch his ass.

give the baby your last name. and don’t give your ex the kids ssn. if he doesn’t have there ssn he can’t claim them🤷🏻‍♀️

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you can give the baby his last name and still claim him

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You claim your kids because if anything happens with this virus again he will get the money it goes to you I made the mistake by letting my ex claim my kids when they live with me 9 9% of the time and I have to share that money because I allowed him to claim them yes he pays for things for them but I feed them everyday I clean up after them every day I am the sole Guardian every day 365 days a year claim them you’re self don’t give him any of it

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No. Fuck no.
First of all, you can still give the kid his last name. AND you should be the one getting checks, claiming income taxes etc… especially if you are the sole provider AND caretaker.

Do not let that manchild claim your kids so he can blow money that is needed to care for you and your babies . He only has himself to worry about it seems .

Claim them yourself you are not married

Don’t sign anything. U claim them.

It’s actually a tax credit which means that you have to have had the children in your care for 51% overnights. Even family law cannot mitigate this fact. In cases of 50/50 placement where its stipulated that parents alternate, it is only in the interest of mutual fairness that the parties not count each overnight per year. Federal law places the burden of proof on the parent making the claim.
If he claims them and does not have 50-51% overnights he has committed tax fraud which is subject to fines and penalties.

Why keep having kids from someone you know isn’t going to help. It’s probably something you don’t want to hear but sometimes the truth hurts. If he’s not helping you then in no way should you feel bad /guilty for claiming the kids you take care of. If you haven’t put him on child support you should . Every little bit helps and it’s not fair to you or your kids for you to be doing everything on your own. He has to take responsibility just as you have.

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Give them your last name.

Protect u and thw child.

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Just dont give the ssn and claim them both yourself.


Just because the child has his last name doesn’t have a thing to do with taxes. Don’t give him their ss numbers and claim them yourself. Last names have nothing to do with it.


You complained about him… and bad mouthed him… here is a question? why don’t you just leave him if he is so bad… and you are fully able to support yourself and your kids as you claimed.

now the hard question has been asked… you don’t even have to put him on the birth certificate… that’s your baby, and the way you stated it, he is just a sperm donor (shitty quality, but hey… you do you)

to sum it up… you cry your man is bad and useless… go dump your man… have baby… dont put your ex in baby’s papers… and move on with your life

If that’s what you wanna do, do it. :+1:

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Claim the damn kids. Get it done before he does.

90% of the work ? Girl take that money , claim them kids , don’t feel bad .


If your not married when tax time starts claim both. He has no legal right to claim them.

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His name and you can still claim them

Girl no advice on the name that’s all a matter of preference. But yes, claim them, and don’t feel bad. My ex husband didn’t support the kids and when we got divorced the courts gave me rights to claim them every year. Because why should someone who hasn’t supported them at all get to claim them.


If you are not Married and you have children then you are the financial parent. Are both the children his and is the ex a husband or boyfriend? What are your ages. You have the responsibility for your children. Take care of you and them. Keep the money

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