I kissed a married man while I was drunk and vunerable, I feel terrible!

A couple months ago my husband left (due to not being ready for this much responsibility but that's a different issue) we have a now 7 month old son together. (We're both 19)When he left I was really upset and happened to run into a family friend at the store (you know the ones that are like a bonus uncle when you're a little girl close friend of my parents) well later on this man messaged me (he's married with kids and he's around my parents age they went to School together) and asked me if I would like to go to the casino with him to take my mind off of it and I had never been. I said yes thinking it would take my mind off of things. Thinking that He used to take me to the park why would this be different. Well flash forward We're there and he starts buying me drinks. I ended up drinking to much and the night got spotty. The last thing I remember I was in his car and he was kissing me and doing some other things. The next thing I remember I woke up in my bed at home the next day. I don't know how far it went, I don't know how I got home, and he hasn't texted me or brought it up at all. I don't know what happened. I feel embarrassed and worried about what happend. Sober me would never have kissed a married man or a man this much older than Me. I feel guilty and discusting. I don't know how to feel or what to do. I worked things out with my husband and We're back together but that night is still heavy on my mind latley. I can't beleive I let that happen. I feel like a homewrecker like the worst type of person, but I also feel taken advantage of.
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This older man took advantage of you. My daughter’s 19 and if one of mine or my husband’s friends did this I’d be livid. I think you should tell your parents what happened. Dont feel guilty, you didn’t do anything wrong.

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You are not a home wrecker. Home wreckers are a myth that was designed to blame the other party when in reality its the married party who wrecked the home by intentionally stepping outside the marriage boundaries.

Honestly I would track his wife down and write her a letter or message. Explain everything (honestly) that happened and how he played the part of family to deceive you and you wanted nothing to do with it. That would clear your conscience at least. Even though you did nothing wrong. The man essentially groomed you. Make sure to block his number and any other way he could contact you right before you send it. And let your parents know you don’t want to be around him (if they’re still friends).

Be ready cause she’s either going to respond in a thankful tone or harshly. But know that she will be hurting. She may choose to ignore it. And that’s on her. But at least your mind can be free from that.

But please know, you did nothing wrong. If you feel he took advantage, then he took advantage of you. That is his fault, not yours. He set his stage up and got you enough drinks to play along. He’s a sick man.

Good luck to you & all the best. Try not to beat yourself up about this. Be open & honest and you will get through this.

It is never appropriate to go anywhere with a married man without his wife unless there is a blood relationship. Even then it’s weird to me.
How would he even look asking…”Hey hunny my 19 year old recently divorced post partim friend of the family is feeling down. I want to take her to the casino to drink and have fun.” My azz would laugh so damn hard … Um no! My answer,”However I think a girls night out would be excellent she can drop her baby off with ours for you to watch!”
Moral of the story: he knew what he was doing and on some level of you are honest so do you.
You working looking for comfort and got more then you bargained for. A committed husband would not even suggest an outing like this. Live and learn but don’t play the victim to hard. People hide behind alcohol and I hate that excuse!
Good luck do better and find someone worthy of you and your child.

I am so sorry this happened. This man may have raped you. What a sleazeball

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I kissed a married man while I was drunk and vunerable, I feel terrible!

Sounds like he slipped something in your drink you should have a test done! Depending on how long ago this happened. My opinion he took complete advantage of you.

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You were preyed on by a nasty adult. Youre 19 and he’s your parents age? He took advantage of you, sounds like he drugged you too. Sorry you’re dealing with this now but def stay away from him.

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You were taken advantage of 100%
I think he knew exactly what he was doing when he invited you out.

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I learned a similar lesson the hard way… last time I was truly drunk was August 2019 when I met my S.O. now I do not drink because I do not want to run into the risk of that happening.

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You’re still very young at 19. He took advantage of you. If you don’t want to pursue anything, you should probably see a therapist to work through it so you don’t continue letting it eat away at you. We all make mistakes :heart:

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Sounds like your so called friend took advantage of you got what he really wanted and went on about his business

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Most definetly was taken advantage of.

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U were definitely taken advantage of… that was not consensual… u poor thing … none of that was ur fault… NOT AT ALL… so please don’t beat urself up over it… u have done nothing wrong except trust a family friend to take care of u … but he abused that trust … he is a predator and a sick one at that … please huni … u did nothing wrong.

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This was assult, at best. What happened was not your fault. He sounds like a predator who was waiting to take advantage of you. I am so sorry this happened to you. If you can meet with a therapist I hoghly recommend doing so.

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That guy knew exactly what he was doing. Don’t be fooled. Sorry this happened to you.

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You thought going to the casino with a married man, was like going to the Park when you was small…:smirk:. BUT, I’d defo have a conversation with him, as it sounds like it went to far and you was too drunk to be incontrol. Hope your okay. X

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Tell his wife and your parents? Anyway, I don’t think you should feel guilty since your hubby had left you.

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You’re under age and he is the one who wanted to get you intoxicated to take advantages of you. You should not feel ashamed as this man knew what he was doing and you were in no state to give consent. Try to seek out therapy to process what happened. Also, be honest with your husband if you haven’t already told him about it.

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This is NOT your fault. Drunk people cannot consent.

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Um this isn’t normal you need to inform your parents

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I read it so fast I thought it said a mermaid man. I was like ohhh what’s that :rofl::rofl:

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You were r***d. He is a bad person he took advantage of you

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You sound super naive, which makes sense considering you’re 19, and he sounds like a creep.
At the end of the day if you had so much to drink that you blacked out (which happens, without someone having to drug you) and he started fooling around with you, he took advantage of you. You weren’t able to give consent to anything.
Your feelings are normal, I would look into getting a therapist and I would never talk to that man again.

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That man took advantage of you and you were assaulted. Do not feel ashamed or like you’ve done something wrong. HE is the one who was wrong.

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He t0ok advantage of you. Shame on him

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Sounds like he fed you drinks so he could take advantage of you. You should have been able to go out with him and he should have never crossed those boundaries. He’s the disgusting one. :nauseated_face: I would cut him off and never allow him near you or your children again. If you feel super guilty and you and your husband are in a good spot, then come clean about it. If he truly loves you then he would be understanding of the situation that man put you in. Depending on how close you and your parents are, I would tell them too. Or at least tell your Mom and she can decide to tell your Dad, so they aren’t inviting him over ever while your there or so they can cut ties with him too. If someone ever did that to my daughter that I was friends n had grown up with, I would want to know. That’s predatory behavior.

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I’m sorry but I’ll be the devil’s advocate here. You all are saying he took advantage but she clearly admitted she drank a lot. How do we know she didn’t go in for the kiss or what not. Instead you all are jumping on this man saying he took advantage. I’m sorry but that’s a huge statement to make without being there

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You shouldn’t feel anything but taken advantage of, this man should feel disgusted with himself, you owe his wife nothing but he owes her everything, he fully took advance of the situation

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You were definitely taken advantage of. Also could have been drugged. There was no reason for you not to trust a family friend that you grew up around. I would suggest therapy just so you can work things out confidentially or at least get a start on dealing with it.

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Get tested for roofie he may have drugged you

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It sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew what he wanted when he called you to go with him to the casino. He’s a married man and already knew he could influence your decision. Your 19. He’s much older. He’s a creep.
Confront him. Tell his wife. Does he have daughters? This is way to suspish. Have to wonder if he slipped something in your drink and if your not the only one

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He totally took advantage of you. You were incoherent. If “stuff” means sex, in my eyes hes a rapist. At the least a disgusting predator.

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Hunny this is NOT your fault or on you in any way. Sounds like he drugged you. Absolutely talk to someone about this. Maybe your parents?

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You got drunk and kissed a married man and are using the lame old I was drunk excuse. You knew what you were doing before hand.

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That sounds like you were drugged. Not just drunk…

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Some of these comments…wow. She is a 19 year old. Our brains aren’t even fully developed at that age AND he was a family friend. She thought she could trust him. It sounds like he knew her state of mind and took advantage. Disgusting.

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You’re 19 and went to the casino with your older “uncle like” family friend … All kinds of messed up

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He Had that planned all along

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I’m sorry. Going to the casino is like going to the park? What park did he take you to when you were young? Did he try this when you were young?
First mistake was going anywhere with a married man.
Second mistake, being underage and getting drunk. His mistake was taking advantage of you.
I don’t know if I would tell his wife and unmask what a creep he is or just let it go. Bc who knows what happened

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Tell your dad. Bet your dad will take care of the dude. :facepunch:

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If you’re only 19 you need to contact the Casino and let them know their bartender that night was selling drinks to a minor.

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Sounds like you were drugged and he sounds like a disgusting freak who knew exactly what he was doing. Tell your family and tell his wife

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You were drugged honey. Probably raped. Get tested for drug and stds

You definitely were taken advantage of. He’s a creep. Take it as a valuable lesson learned. From now on you will keep yourself safe from predators like him.

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Hunny you’re the victim in this situation, I’m so sorry.

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You were definitely sexually assaulted. It is not your fault. You are not a home wrecker.

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If you don’t remember he probably slipped something in your drink, and took advantage of you. Sorry to say it

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First tell your Dr get tested for deceises 2nd tell his wife and mom and dad how many other has he done this with

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First off, you’re young and the fact that he is like an uncle and much older, someone who took you to the park as a kid and such…this just creeps me out. Yes you’re an adult but he took advantage of you 100%. I would tell your parents, I’d probably tell the wife because she does deserve to know…if you were so drunk you dont remember the night…I’m worried he could have slipped something to you.

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Sounds like he drugged you.

He took advantage of you

You are the victim, you are young and naive, to young to drink and this grown man was feeding you drink after drink, he did that on purpose! I would tell your dad and someone needs to tell this mans wife, he is out here doing stuff like that making her look like a fool

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Um this doesn’t sound good at all. He knew exactly what he was doing. And you shouldn’t have had drinks at 19 at a casino so they can get in trouble for that. That dude probably drugged you and took advantage of you.

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Sounds like you were preyed on … I’d be telling my parents for sure , especially if this man is their friend and watched you grow up … yikes!

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I think you should tell your parents so they know that this man they were close to that they considered an uncle to you did this. Could you imagine one of your friends now coming onto your child as soon as they came of age? You would be devastated. This is not your fault.

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He took advantage of you

You chose to drink and put yourself in this situation. Hopefully this teaches you to make smarter decisions.

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This girl sounds so ignorant, like seriously??? why are you accepting an offer to hangout in a casino with a married man?? sounds like you are too young and stupid to understand consequences obviously since you’re just 19 and have a baby and husband already that you’re trying to leave. sounds like you needed to learn a fkn lesson and grow up. she sounds so dumb fr

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You were most definitely taken advantage of and sounds like maybe even given some drugs to make you incoherent. It’s been a while then you probably wouldn’t have much evidence even if you did report this (which you should if you feel like a crime occurred) but at the very least you should get a pregnancy and STD tests done, just in case. I would be having a talk with this man and possibly his wife as well. I’d want to know what happened the rest of that night and only he can tell you.

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Please speak to your mum (assuming you have a good relationship and she can support you mentally and emotionally)
Then see a doctor for a full check up. You need to be sure he hasnt given you any STIs/STDs
Then have a chat to your hubby. You were not together at the time so even if it was consensual, it wasn’t you cheating! Nut being honest with your partneris so important. However, this was not consensual and this creep 100% took advantage of you.

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Wow…… I’m so sorry love but it seem like he took advantage over you ON PURPOSE. You’re a victim in this situation….

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Um, that was sexual a$$ault.
You’re the victim & he showed be in jail.

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Tell your parents NOW! he took advantage of you and with him not texting or calling it seems pretty clear this was his intention and way more happened. Who knows. He very well could have put something in your drink. This is not your fault!

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This was not your fault, he took advantage of you, he needs to be held accountable. He was someone you trusted & have known since you were a kid, going out to take your mind off things with someone you compare to family? Nah, don’t blame yourself

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Na… he’s 100% in the wrong. If you were too drunk to remember, you were too drunk to consent. What you do with that information is up to you. With how you see the situation, I would totally understand if you didn’t want to pursue the matter legally, once again, all up to you. That’s straight up date rape.

He took advantage. Don’t blame you one bit for this happening. But he knew what he was doing…

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To me it sounds like he was grooming you from a very young age unfortunately. Please go to someone you trust and talk to them. Second, go to your doctor and get tested (you don’t know what happened or if he’s clean). This is not your fault so please talk to someone to help you get through this

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Sounds like he took advantage of you hun… I’d tell your partner and then your mum and dad.

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I fell like you were for sure taken advantage of. Drunk people can’t consent. That I agree with. And none of that “you were asking for it” crap. Been there, done that. I won’t say that about anyone who has been raped. I will say though, I get that you’re young but you aren’t so young that you thought going to a casino with a grown, married man, without his wife or anyone else, was like going to a playground. You just didn’t. And if you did, you need to sit down and talk to someone about the difference in being a child and an adult. Again, I still 100% say you were taken advantage of and assaulted.

Roofied you for sure girl!

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Guess I’ll be the bad guy…
I hate when drinking is the excuse. You shouldn’t have put yourself in that situation period. How would you feel if your Husband took another woman to the casino? Tell his Wife. Period.

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Next time you want to go out decide* not to drink to avoid everything that can happen. We want to expect others to care for us and end up disappointed we must take care of ourselves… no expectations no disappointments. Hope you can forgive yourself for your choices in life don’t be so hard on yourself and learn self love every day good luck. Sending healing vibes.

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You need to get tested immediately for any date rape drugs in your system.

Your first sign (red flag) was him buying you drinks at only 19years old! It was fine going to casino, like you said he was like family! But I don’t understand why you would let him buy you alcohol???

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You were not in the wrong!!

If you are in the United States p there are a lot of people that failed you here. You should have not been allowed in the casino in most states and certainly should have not be served alcohol in any. I’d consider reporting these things too so they have consequences and hopefully don’t help put any other vulnerable people in this position.

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We all Make Silly decisions… Maybe you shouldn’t of Gone However u was Very vulnerable and he Knew that… he Took Advantage of you. Tell ur parents/Husband.

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Older married man took advantage of a vulnerable young woman. Lesson learned.

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Girl!!! Oh hell no. This sounds so fucked up. Did he try anything when you were younger?? Sounds like he possibly use to groom you and waited until you were “legal.”
I would tell your parents to be honest. Yes, you’re an adult but he KNEW better. That’s disgusting and it sounds like he drugged you.
You should remember things like how you got home or what happened. That’s a huge red flag. I am so sorry girl. Please don’t just brush this to the side and not tell anyone :pensive: I would also tell your hubby. He deserves to know, and this doesn’t sound like something you wanted or intended. If he drugged you, it’s definitely not your fault!!
He knew what he was doing

Ugh I think you need to make a report! You were taken advantage of big time!!! I’m so sorry that happened to you.

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Absolutely NONE of this is your fault. You signed up for and agreed to a fun and innocent night out with a friend that you trust. Those are not homewrecker intentions. HE’S the one that crossed the line, HE’S the one that made the decision to cheat on his wife and assault you. This is not your fault. He is 100% to blame for this.

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Omg!! He definetly took advantage of you! That’s awful

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Whore all of ya saying she not wrong she knew what happen she was hoein

Sounds like he put something in your drink

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Make no mistake – He took advantage of you. It’s time to set a firm boundary with this man and make it clear that you aren’t happy with what happened and that you will not tolerate such behavior in the future.

He’s a predator.

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:sob: Omg I’m so sorry this happened to you. This makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. He could have roofied you! You need to tell someone you trust now! And I hate to say it but maybe also go to the doctor and get and examination. Prayers for you girl :pray::two_hearts:

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Definitely postpone drinking around men who invite you out without their wives. Red flag one and two. But I tend to overlook red flags and think with my heart. It gets me in a lot of trouble. Also, dont beat yourself up, shit happens. We all make mistakes.

Sounds like you were roofied and he took full advantage of you.

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If you are in the US, this is rape/sexual assault and you should report it. If you are intoxicated you are not able to consent.

Report him. He preyed on you. He groomed you with drinks. He took advantage of you drunk. And he broke the law buying drinks for you under age. He’s also on camera doing it. Report him. You aren’t the first nor the last. Hes a predator. He knew what he was doing the moment he picked up the phone and asked you to come out. Report him and tell him to stay away from you forever.

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You need to know how far it went with him, you need to know if you run the risk of pregnancy or not and get tested for stds, these things could throw a wrench in working things out in your own marriage ya know? Also get a drug test to see what he used, you could have side effects from it and not know what’s causing it

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Some of you people in this comment section are disgusting, acting like you had perfect judgment of someones character at 19. Regardless of her age, she clearly stated that this man was like an uncle to her growing up. I’m 28 and would have trusted someone if I had grown up with them like an uncle to me. At 19, I definitely wouldn’t have thought twice about it. This girl is a victim, and you all are toxic. You all are sitting here talking about how she needs to grow up and make smarter choices, all while acting like petty children. She is clearly torn up about what happened, and bashing her for it just makes you a piece of shit. What if this was your daughter, and she was assualted by a man you had brought around her her entire childhood. Would you still be victim blaming then? If so, you should probably stear clear of parenthood.

That’s assault. He took advantage of you knowing full well what he was doing. Please don’t feel guilty and seek counseling to help with these feelings :heart:

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Wow so many of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Don’t blame the victim. She went with someone she trusted. Regardless if she made the decision to drink, he took advantage of her. He knew her vulnerability and took full advantage. Those victim blaming are the type of people who are th reason why so many sexual assaults don’t go reported. What if something terrible happened to her? Since she doesn’t remember anything it’s quite possible he did more to her. I really hope she is okay. I would certainly talk to your parents though at the very least. But this isn’t your fault at all. You were taken advantage of. The lesson here is don’t trust so easily. Just because you view them as family doesn’t mean they are good people.

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Wait, where are you at that you can go to a casino at 19 and drink?? This isn’t legal in the US from what I’ve always known. Granted I don’t gamble but still.

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You’re first mistake was knowingly going out with a married man. If you had done the right thing and declined his offer nothing else would have happened. Period.

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Don’t feel guilty HE
saw your vulnerability and took advantage of you.Put it down to experience and forget about it.

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He honestly sounds like a groomer. He took advantage.

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