I left my husband and will be giving birth alone: Advice?

So I currently have an 11-month-old baby & I am 33 weeks pregnant. I just left my husband due to a lot of reasons for just putting up with a bunch of disrespectful stuff. I am scared to deliver in the hospital by myself. I have a family that will stay with my 11-month-old when my other baby comes. But I don’t want him there when I deliver; anyone else goes through this? I’m really scared because I have to raise two little ones on my own & I would have never imagined that. Any supportive advice is greatly appreciated


I don’t have any advice but I will pray for you.

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Your stronger than you believe. Andbuoull get through it. Ask a best friend. Or family member. Your going to look back and ask yourself would you have t asher been alone or with someone who isn’t right for you. Trust me when I say it may be hard at first but it gets better. It takes time. And keep your mind busy. Don’t sit alone etc. Just keep busy and focus. Sending prayers.

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You can do it!!! Better be in peace then being disrespected! Go girl!!!


All I can say is I went thro this same thing. Tell the hospital to not call anyone. You can make calls. Don’t list you in the directory. And do not tell your ex you are in labor or where you are at. You aren’t alone the nurses are there 24/7 and can and will help you and talk you thro it all. It’s only alone until you get one to your other baby :confused: you’ve got this mama your strong and don’t stress about it to much. Your going to have a sweet bundle of joy


All you need is nurses, lean in them, talk to them, that’s what they are there for!!! You can do it and more mama!!!


You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I just went through this with my youngest sons father. You will get through this.

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Best advice is take things one day at a time and bring your second baby home with the attitude of “I can do this”. Your love for your babies will get you through. I did it completely by myself for 6 years until I finally met my husband this year. It gets hard and you will have days where you want to give up but it’s ok you will get into the groove of it and things will turn out just fine. Goodluck!


I have an 8 year old and 6 month old fixing to divorce their father. It’s hard doing it alone…but I can do this momma!!

Can a sibling, friend or trusted church member help you?

I wasn’t alone, but my husband was nervous. My L&D nurses were some of the best companions I could’ve asked for…they were sweet, patient, and cheerleaders when I needed them most. My first shift nurse actually stayed late off the clock to cheer me on to push because she had been with me all day.


My nurses were the best thing for me in labor even with family and my ex. They are amazing. I know it’s not the same feeling but they are so helpful and selfless!

If you don’t have a friend or family member to be with you then think about hiring a doula–the are trained to support only you and are there the entire time unlike the nurses.

Just had my 4th baby in September on my own, as I went into labour at 2am so my partner had to stay and look after them, at the time I was terrified but thinking back it was one of my nicest labour’s compared to my other 3 were I had my partner with me. The delivery nurses are brilliant and make you feel even more comfortable couldn’t have asked for a better labour even tho at the time it was so hard but I’m glad it went the way it did :heart_eyes:


Going thru a very similar situation. I am about 32 weeks along and my son is turning one soon. I left my ex due to his abuse and drug use… My advice is dont stress out. You got this momma :heart: you don’t have to be alone. Have someone you can trust be there to support you


Yes! Going through the exact same thing. I am terrified about giving birth alone but I feel like it will be very empowering once it happens knowing I did it all by myself and give me the strength I need to go forward

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U got this god wont put anything on u that u couldn’t bare god got u praying for a safe and healthy delivery :pray:t5::pray:t5::pray:t5::purple_heart:


Don’t stress about it go with the flow take it a day at a time concentrate on your little one and baby when it arrives and you will get through it and be stronger than ever xx

sounds like you’re getting lots of great supportive advice but i just want to say, make sure you are 100% on this decision. the birth of your child is something he will never get back and if he intends to be involved, there will probably be a lot of hard feelings over that. it is your decision, YOU are the one giving birth. but if he’s upset you have to be prepared to be as understanding of that as possible. i’m not trying to guilt you or make you think you’re in the wrong or anything of the sort. i’m just encouraging you to consider the potential weight of this decision if you haven’t already. good luck and congratulations, you will do an amazing job with or without a partner there!


I’m not the same circumstances but did deliver alone by choice I found it was less stressful to be by myself I could focus more and it was comfortable best of luck you can do it and congratulations

Do you have a best friend? A close relative? Your mother?
Any support person is better than nothing.


I am a single mom to 3 kids. My youngest is 2 months and I went through the entire pregnancy alone and he wasn’t present for the delivery. It’s been about 9 months since we have spoke. Honestly the nurses were amazing support, one of them rubbed my back and hips with each contraction and stayed in the room with me when I said I needed her. It’s not easy doing it alone but either way you will still be meeting your sweet baby :heart: if you have another family member you can ask to be with you then do that. Mom, siblings, cousins whoever you are comfortable with


Just remind yourself your strong and can do this…and remember to think about the disrespect and ask yourself how you would want youg kids to see you being treated or how they think they could act towards someone…you got this and dont be scared to let your friends in either…you will feel down and defeated at times but would so be worth it when you arent crying or verbally abused in front of your children…it will be hard for awhile but you got this…your strong and will grow stronger and more empowered as you do raise your babies alone…you also dont have to have him you can include someone you eant and if you dont have them some places have really amazing nurses to help you be strong…you got this momma and deff know your doing the right thing for your state of mind and peace and the future of your kids. Iv hated my kids see me broken down crying due to verbal or physical abuse in a relationship…took me awhile after to stand up and only after the disrespect went towards my kids i stood up…you are doing right and you got this…and if you need just someone to be in spirit this group can really be supportive and im sure when you go into labor and inform the group most the women here can send comforting,empowering,
motivational words to you…reach out to positive energy to stay strong

I’m going through something similar. You need to remember you are strong and brave all on your own!! You can do anything mama. Finding a doula is also a good idea! They are there to support and help you. You got this my dear​:two_hearts::two_hearts:

Im not in ur shoes but good for you. U deserve to b treated with respect and that ur kids see that also. Remember u will have good and bad days. It will be hard, but it will make u strong. Good luck mama!!

Register as anomymous. Tell hospital staff he isn’t allowed there. Hopefully you can lean on your family for support.

Please continue to listen to yourself and do what is best for u. U r worthy of respect and peace. Especially when bringing a baby into the world it is extremely important to not feel any extra stress. It will be special and memorable. I admire u so much. Since they are close in age it will come in handy when they get a bit older meanwhile they may have similar eating and nap schedules which will be helpful.

Take it a day a hour or a minute at a time. Whatever works for you

My 4th and last baby was born in August. My son at the time was 14 months old and I also left their dad while pregnant. Scary and nerve-wracking yes. But it beat the stress and and all the BS I would have endured if I stayed with him. We are doing great and I have a strong team. Find your people, get a great support system, don’t be afraid to cry and breathe if you feel overwhelmed. And don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on your babies. You got this Mama!

It will be extra special with just you and baby!!! Take it all in instead of having to share lol

Just know you won’t be alone, there are plenty of nurses to help you through. Also, do you have a girlfriend that could go with you?? If not, how about an online friend that you can talk to throughout the labor so you don’t feel so alone? I’m sure plenty of moms would be willing to keep you company!


Do it ! Youll be amazing ! Wont tell u its easy cos its not . Take all the help u can. But do what makes you feel happy and safe xxx push forward and see it through xx

If he isn’t abusive and is willing. Let him help. You deserve it and baby deserves a dad.
If you gotta go it alone. Just remember to take yourself along with those babies. You deserve to be happy and they deserve a happy mommy

Trust me once it comes to giving birth all thoughts of doing it on your own will be out the window and all you will be worried about is getting the wee one out , plus if u just explain the the midwives I’m sure you hey will be extra helpful also. As for doing it on your own , don’t think like that , u have already brought one into this world and kept them safe for 11 months so I’m sure u will be fine with another it’s stressful at first but u will manage x

I gave birth in the middle of the pandemic , high lockdown ,with a mask ,in another town , with no transport ,alone and had forgotten my charger for my phone. I had complications and had to get an emergency c section. I live in a little village in mountains and because of lockdown I couldn’t have any one near me. My husband and parents could only drop me off at the entrance. It was the longest ,hardest 5 days of my life. Its my first baby and I felt absolutely clueless. Trust me, it’s going to be hard and stressful. But you know what? I just took a deep breath ,mustered every bit of ounce of courage I could and took one moment at a time. One second after the other and before I knew it I was back home and in my comfort zone. I didn’t care how stupid ,how annoying or how pathetic I looked like. When I had questions ,concerns or anxiety moments I called on the nurses. I asked the ladies around me. I asked until I felt alright. Nurses are there to assist and help you. Just breath and take one moment at a time. Ask for help and they will help where they can. Be kind to yourself and remember the little blessing your about to have. Treasure the small moments baby is happy and sleeping. When you hold him/her the first time. It’s stressful and you wish someone was there but never be afraid to ask for help. Good luck thoughts and prayers your way.


Well I’m here to support you in any way it’s best you love and take care of those kids on your own than them to grow up in abusive toxic situation that could end up fatal

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Be sure to get child support to help you with raising children.

Where are you located?
This Grandma would like to help you!

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Almost anyone on here in proximity to you would be happy to help before, during or after the birth.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAMA!! My 8 year old has never had her father. In her life because he doesn’t want it. She never felt his touch love or even
Admission that she exists.
But she Is still full of love,laughter, and selflove. You got this even though it is the hardest but most rewarding thing you will ever do

Allowing him to be present during the birth may lead him to bond with the baby. As women I don’t think we realize that we have nine months to bond and it isn’t fair to th baby if he misses a chance to bond at birth but you must do what you feel is best for you and baby

Hire a Doula, they are an amazing support x

Do you have a good friend/church member/ family member that can stay with you at the hospital? I’m delivering next week, and they asked me who my “support person” will be. They don’t require it to be a husband, it’s just anyone who will be able to stay at the hospital until you are released. But because of COVID, they just have to stay in the hospital the entire time.

I’m not in similar shoes, but I will pray for you from one mother to another. I really hope things go well for you and the new baby. And that you can find a good support. If you are not a member of a local church, it’s never too late to reach out. My church community has been a huge blessing to myself and other mothers in my community.

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Do you have a parent, sibling, or best friend that could be with you when you deliver the baby? I think they’re just allowing one “support” person; it doesn’t have to be a significant other.
As far as raising your children on your own; file for child support, and if you feel comfortable letting the father have the kids, then give him visitation rights as well. Just because you and he aren’t together doesn’t mean he isn’t responsible for your children.


I had my best friend come to the hospital with me and he was nice about even though it was 2am and I almost threw up on his shoes. I say close friends are always the way to go; as for raise 2 close in age once they get to the point where they can play together they’ll entertain each other for hours my kids for a plastic pringles can funny for 2 hours one day it gets easier as they get old enough to play

Maybe ask a friend or relative to be birthing partner?

Also you dont have to do it alone if they have a dad he can help …

Give it to god girly u are powerful u can do it u dont need that stressful shit in your life or the babies life so make sure u get child support from him

I had my first baby alone. Everyone in the delivery room was so helpful and understanding. Don’t be scared, you are stronger then you think. Good luck

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Perhaps a family member or close friend.
On another note, I’m so sorry you are going through this and I wish you a speedy healthy delivery and the health of your baby.
You are strong, you are beautiful and you can do this :heart:
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It looks rough but you are strong and will get through this. Hopefully family will step in and stand by you. You got this girl.

I just went thru this. My son stayed with family and my best friend was there with me while I had my baby girl

My sister was with me I left x when I was Prego as well

You are only required to do what’s best for you! Nothing else needs to be said…

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I have so much respect for you. You are so brave and doing what is best for your children. I have 6 children and 2 children, I chose to have on my own. You got this :muscle:. Dont focus on being alone focus on all the Joy’s of having your new baby! Dont let anyone take a moment of that excitement away from you. Congratulations and wishing you the best.


Oh my gosh, what a hard road you’re on. I just want to send positive thoughts and love. You Can do this. It will get easier. Good on you for choosing strength and perseverance. :heart: Your kiddos will benefit from that choice. Take it day by day, and try not to get too overwhelmed with the what ifs. In regards to any court/custody stuff record Everything to do with Dad, particularly if you’re scared of what he may do. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. :heart::heart::heart: I wish I had better advice. All I can say is make it very clear to doc/nurses/family your birth plan, and confirm that they Will follow no matter what. Most likely they will for the health of you and your baby.

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It’s scary at first, but then you get into the routine of things. It’s doable and honestly not as exhausting and scary as people make it seem. As long as you remember to make sure all of your needs are met, yours included, you will be just fine!

For everyone say unless hes abusive need to stop shes obviously left for a reason. Birth is hard enough with out having to deal with the stress of someone you left. She needs someone who can support and encourage her not stress her out. He can be a father later


Sorry, but a woman needs to be in her best frame of mind to deliver a baby. If he’s done some stuff that affects her mental well-being and causes her any sadness then he shouldn’t be present. Come once the babies delivered. :woman_shrugging:t3: xx

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You are never alone giving birth, especially not in a hospital. The doctors, midwives, and nurses are all going to be there for you in a positive and supportive way. Good luck :heart:


Girl! The only thing you “need” a man for is to conceive! Women were built to withstand obstacles! You’ve got this! Your body was literally designed to procreate! It’s a natural process!!! Trust your providers! Lean on your friends!! Be a lioness!! You are made by God for this task! It’s in your DNA!!! Tap into that!! And be a woman!!!

You should feel incredibly proud of yourself for having the strength to leave in the middle of such a vulnerable time. Keep your chin up. Those babies will grow up seeing their momma as a kickass, strong woman who stands up for what’s right. It’s scary, but you can handle being a single mom. Giving birth alone isn’t as scary as it sounds. Enjoy the peace and quiet while you get to bond with your new baby. There will be nurses there while you give birth to support you. When you come home with the new baby, don’t be afraid to lean on your family for support and help.


My marriage almost fell apart during my last pregnancy. It was a terrible pregnancy on top of whatever else went wrong between us. Now everything is better and we have worked out the problems. If you can’t solve them after you’re pregnancy then you’ll be fighting a battle that will end over time. It will be hard but you can do it. There are a lot of remote jobs you can do so you can stay home with the babes. I wish you the best of luck! And pray. God will direct you and speak to you (not directly) but you need an open mind and willing to do the work. Don’t stress and have a safe delivery!

I want to say good job on leaving him. I know it probably wasn’t easy and it’s not going to be easy but your strength shows


I went through something similar with my 2nd child and gave birth without her father there. Don’t be scared. If you don’t want him there the choice is yours. As much as people will tell you he should be there it’s still your call to make. There will be people there…heck, get your best friend to go with you. As for raising your kids alone…its really hard with 2 toddlers but you can do it. You’re already a mum which makes you strong anyway darl. Big hugs and good luck.


I didnt leave my husband (well I did but not until after) but I was at the hospital and delivered our 4th child all alone. I know that the nurse made sure to check on me often and make sure I was OK as I was there by myself but to be honest, I absolutely LOVED giving birth by myself. It was so much more calm and much less stressful. Maybe I’m strange, maybe its because it was my 4th child but I cant complain about doing it alone. It was a wonderful experience.


If you don’t want to be alone during delivery, have a friend with you! I’m not sure if that’s possible where you are (due to COVID right now), but when I gave birth I had my mom and my best (girl) friend in the room with me, and i wouldn’t have had it any other way. Best of luck to you, mama! :heart: you’ve got this

Don’t be scared, first of all you are not gonna be alin the hospital, there’s a bunch of doctors and nurses that gonna be with you all the time, is better some peace that his bad vibes in a moment so important that receiving a new life… you can do this honey.

Im not a mom. I dont know your situation but as a single parent with sole custody and doing it alone not by choice, those children and their father have every right to have a relationship. Even with court ordered sole physical and legal custody my son still sees him mom.

A close female friend or relative who will appreciate the experience with you as much as you do. Someone your child can bond with. Doesn’t have to be blood just has to be someone you feel safe with.

A friend of mine recently had to deliver alone. Due to Covid they would not let the father in the room. She said the nurses were super supportive,and kept reminding her she wasn’t alone. Remember they are there for you, and if you have any issues you have the right to ask for a different nurse. You can do this mama!


I’m not sure the circumstances but remember that is his child too. Don’t steal that memory from him because once its done, its done. Of course unless he’s abusive or just doesn’t want to be there. I would give more thought into your decision that way you have no regrets later on either.

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I’m only after given birth to a baby 4 days ago and I didn’t have my ex partner there for other reasons believe me the support those midwifes give you is absolutely incredible I couldn’t have done it without them :heart: they don’t get enough credit for the support they give to you constantly checking in on you it’s just amazing don’t feel like your on your own you’ve so much support & I mean it if you ever wanna rant I’m a message away :heart:

If he is someone who stresses her out he does not have to be in the room, she is delivering a baby she doesn’t need anything that’s going to put her in distress. She is the patient, her needs come before his wants.

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I gave birth to my youngest with my Mum, i had left the father early in the pregnancy and it was the best birth I’d had (have 3 kids in total). Def chose a friend or family member u are close to be birthing partner. Father doesnt have to be there and has no right to be if u dont want him there. Good luck. You can do it x

I gave birth to my first daughter by myself. And I stayed in the hospital by myself. And I did it all by myself (of course I had family and friends help me when I really needed it). It’s hard and scary but if they aren’t a good person then they don’t need to be around the baby! Anyone can say a baby needs their father. But they need a GOOD FATHER. Not just cuz they are the dad. I learned that the hard way! It’s gonna be a roller coaster and with a second on the way. But you left. That’s the baddest part. After that everything is better!! Hard but better!! Good luck!!!

My nurse was amazing. They make sure you don’t feel alone. I know it’s easier said than done though but my nurse held my hand the whole time and was very supportive

You are the boss in that room. If you don’t want him in there, don’t allow him. Especially with covid, they aren’t playing around with visitors right now


Maybe you can find a doula (sp?) that can be there as a support person for you. This way, your family can be at home with your child and you can focus on you while you are at the hospital, and you won’t have to have the father of the baby there for support, as it might increase an already stressful situation. The doula will be there to express your desires and to stand up for you, and to be your emotional support.

You got this, mama! my husband had the flu at the time of my birth so he wasn’t with me anyways…you don’t need him :heart: :muscle:t3::muscle:t3::muscle:t3::muscle:t3:

I went through a similar situation. The hospital I delivered at had a very convenient policy as far as not allowing visitors unless they had a special code. Of course this was pre-covid. My labor and post delivery team knew I was alone and was an absolute dream. They gave me extra attention, and only woke me up to feed baby. They took it upon themselves to care for him unless I asked for him. Again, this is precovid times but I’m sure the hospital team will be gracious with your situation.

Mothers are absolutely resilient when it comes to raising multiple children alone. They find ways, make it happen, and do a beautiful job at it without even realizing it. You will do amazing. Take help when it is offered because you will need your ME time. Hugs and hope sent your way!

I gave birth to our first born while my husband was deployed in Iraq. You’re a strong woman and you can do it. You got this momma…:hugs:

I gave birth to my son in Korea all by myself because my husband at the time was already stationed stateside and i was still stationed in Korea and me and him weren’t even together at that point i had no one but myself really, and i went through his loss alone as well. You got this! :heart:

I had six children alone by myself. Helps to pray with each pain.

I would first check with hospital to see who they will let in with you due to covid

Your gonna be ok just pray on it god willbe by your side and walk with you. I’m
Sure your reasons are good enough you got this know your worth

I delivered my 3rd baby alone. I was 20. You’ll kill it! :muscle:

Is a doula an option with COVID?

Where is your family?

The doctors told me its up to ME whos in the room. It’s up to you.

As for visitation. If there’s nothing dangerous going on. Abuse or drugs. Don’t stand in the way of thier relationship. Have him have them often because you’ll need the break. If there’s an abuse going on. Record and collect evidence. Best of luck.

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You already took a big step.Don’t stop now.

The hospitals now do not allow anybody but the patient in them anyway, but you will be fine. You’ve had one baby and you will definitely have professional help. Jesus is also with us in everything we go thru. Learn about Him if you don’t know Him already.

You have taken the hardest and best step you can take for you and your children! Make sure you have checked all assistance you can get. This is NOT the time to think you can do it alone! You know, no matter how hard things look, they always have a way of turning out! Lean on family and friends, this is what they are there for! They love you and want to help! PLEASE, tough it out, DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK! You are out, stay out! NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS! See a lawyer or legal aid about your legal rights and child support. Don’t look back, look to the future! You deserve so much better! GOD BLESS YOU AND CONGRATULATIONS on your precious little baby!

Just hugs. I’ve been there…:heart:

I did it 3 times by myself you’ll be fine it actually was a lot more stress free and peaceful by myself I could relax without somebody over my shoulder getting on my nerves

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You’ll be amazed at the strength you have that you maybe didn’t even know was there! Nurses are great and will spend more time with you than normal because you’re alone. You’ve got this!!

I wish I could’ve been without my kids father during labor. All he did was make it worse. If you’re not comfortable with him being there don’t let others guilt you. Men are not entitled to be there. You are not obligated to me extra stressed & uncomfortable. As much as people want to say it’s about the baby, not you it is about you! You’re the 1 in your most vulnerable state, you’re expirencing the pain & stress. You call the shots. Make sure you let your OB & hospital staff know he’s not welcome. There’s some nurses that will let him in even though you say you don’t want him there. Be loud & clear that he’s not welcome!

As far as raising 2 kids alone. It’s scary because people keep telling us we need men. In my expirence it’s easier to raise kids alone than it is with him.

Had all three alone I feel. I had family there with me. Trust me when I tell you that being alone with two babies is better then being with someone who is a disrespectful peice of garbage that wouldnt set good examples for your babies. You’re not the first or the last. You will be fine!:hugs:

Just be calm god will take care of you both

My husband and I weren’t separated but I did give birth to my second alone due to covid restrictions in our area. It was really hard but I heavily leaned on friends and my amazing nurses. Find someone you really trust and make them the person you focus on when it’s time. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now momma. You’re strong and you will be amazing in there. Healthy, smooth, and happy labor/delivery to you :two_hearts:

Even if he was there it’ll be like your delivering alone . You can do it!:heart: family can bring your 11month in once you rested . All the best x