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QUESTION:
"I'm currently dating a guy who has a kid and hasn't divorced his wife yet but they are separated. He moved out and his kid is at the mom's. We went on multiple dates already and I've been paying for our meals. He probably paid once like our second date. But we've been dating for a couple of months now. He walks with me going home from work sometimes cause he's also working in the same area, sometimes I'd invite him for a coffee during our walk and he always says that he doesn't have cash on hand. Of course, I'll say don't worry it's on me. Then one night, I invited him to my best friend's party. It's a potluck and everyone was supposed to bring something, but he didn't. And I was like that's okay. I just chipped in from my own pocket anyway. Then after several days, we went out again. And I paid for the meal and he said he didn't have cash on hand again. He's 37 and I'm 23. Am I overspending or being insensitive? What should I do? Thanks for the answers."
RELATED: Are Your Financial Struggles Really About Money or Is There Another Issue?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"My first thought is, is he really separated from wife. It seems like he isn’t spending so he doesn’t have to explain where his money is going. Either way, I would stop dating him. Red flags."
"37 and financially unstable? I’d say run unless you want to be his cash cow. And he’s probably not getting divorced. Sounds like he doesn’t want his wife asking where his money is going."
"I am only going to say this dump him. Sorry but you will always pay, I am betting that he didn’t leave but wife threw him out"
"Why can’t he use his card though? Girl this sounds like a terrible situation in the making. Leave him. Please do not ignore red flags, even the small ones."
"Have you been to his place? If not then he’s probably still living with his wife and don’t wanna leave a paper trail"
"Stop seeing him. We teach people how to treat us. Is this really what you want?"
"Sounds like he’s still with his wife and doesn’t want her to find out by leaving a paper trail. I’d ask to have the next date in at his house and see what he says. If he dances around it, or makes excuses as to why not, he’s definitely being shady af. Run!"
"Sounds like his WIFE is getting his money and you are just messing around with a married guy. Joke’s really on you."
"He is still with his wife, she probably has access to his bank account and can tell when money gets spent. My ex did the same thing, said we were separated but was still living with me and saying he loves me."
"Not worth it girl. Tell him bye."
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