Hey ladies. Please no bashing or judgement here… This is non baby related. I need some advice. UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING COMMENTS ONLY!! PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS INNOCENT HAPPENED 3 YEARS AGO! My senior year of high school, I dated this guy from April to October. I’ll admit I fucked up a lot during that relationship. Most of it was not being honest and acting like someone I wasn’t … etc. I was in a horrible state of mind, and my head wasn’t on straight. We broke up the day before homecoming. I hurt him very, very, very badly by telling people I was pregnant with his baby when we never even had sex. YES, I KNOW I FUCKED UP! PLEASE DONT MAKE ME FEEL ANT WORSE! To this very day, I fucking miss him so much. I’m currently dating someone now that I have been dating for almost two years now, and we have a six month old. I’m not happy, not truly happy. Never was. My ex was the only boyfriend that I truly loved. He loved me back. We had the same interests; he treated me with respect everything a girl could ever wish for. I fucked it up and threw it away… I know it has been years since we talked or seen each other or anything. I still have his number unless he changed it. I don’t know what to do anymore. He has been in my dreams every night for the past two months. Dreaming of us getting back together and I am so happy then waking up crying because I know it was just a dream, and I’m in another day of reality. That he’s gone and I ruined it. What should I do? Dating another person didn’t make me feel any better. Moving forward, I tried doesn’t work. My boyfriend now says, “ I love you “ to me all the time, and all I say is “okay” … I am deeply depressed. My parents tried bringing me out to eat tonight to help me feel better. I said no, I turned down my favorite dessert, I said no to shopping. I told my current boyfriend about it, and he knows my ex, and all he does is just holds me tight and comforts me while I cry and let it out. He doesn’t judge me at all or get upset at me, which I love that part of him. But ladies. What should I do? I truly love my ex… not my current boyfriend… Please, again, no bashing. Yes, I am getting counseling, and yes, I have stopped lying, and yes, I have changed for the better. It’s been three years.
Yikes. Advice?? Be alone and keep getting help.
You may always love your ex but from the sounds of it you guys have some seriously bad stuff between you. If you wanted to reach out to the ex and apologize for the past I commend that- but let him decide if he wants to forgive u or have any contact. Ball will be in his court not yours
I read this same thing on mommies page
Yowzers. So you’re dragging your boyfriend now through hell and making him think you love him when you dont. Not any better than you did to your ex. My advice…be single.
You’re literally the person who taught him everything he never wants in a relationship. Cherish the time you had with him and learn from what you did, and move on. Leave him alone. It’s selfish to think that you can “sorry” your way back into his life…
You say you acted like someone you weren’t…except that you were acting exactly like who you were at the time…
I see a whole lot of excuses for your behaviour in your post and zero accountability.
Leave him be.
You should probably let your ex go and by the sounds of it probably let the boyfriend you have now go. I think the people posting may be right just be single for a bit and find yourself before being in a serious relationship. Maybe focus on your child
You need help and consider p.p.d
Grass and memories are always greener on the other side.
You are so young, you need to let your ex go only once you let him go and the idea of being with him go can you truly love another. And stop leading your current bf go as well your leading him on which is hurting him too.
Maybe a postpartum depression.
Leave your boyfriend. You aren’t being fair to him. You are using him.
Build your own life with your child.
Build a career, work on yourself, as a mother and a person.
You have some serious issues. You need to be in a better place before inviting anyone into your child’s life.
It’s not about you and what you want anymore. It’s about the child you chose to get pregnant with and carry to term. The child deserves a fully engaged mother, not a mother pining over some dude who isn’t it’s father
Sounds like you need to realize what you’ve got now before you lose it. I’m sure your ex has moved on. Like you said, it’s been three years with no contact. Appreciate what you’ve got girl.
You have regret for your ex, not love. Move on.
Girl you have a man who still loves you and holds you while you cry about another man. That’s not something to throw away. The grass isn’t always greener
It sounds like maybe your in love with the thought more then the guy
You are only one half of this equation. Just like you say you’ve changed it’s likely your Ex has too. He may have a wife and or kids and be very happy. Your current bf seems to be extremely compassionate, patient and understanding. I have personally experienced that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Can you and your BF do some counseling together as a couple and lay all of the cards on the table? Maybe see if this is something that can be discussed and worked through? It would be a shame to jump ship from this relationship without at least making an honest good faith attempt at working it out. JMO.
Break up with your current boyfriend and share custody 50/50. Pretending to love someone and leading them on while you are in love and fantasizing about someone else is not ok. Be single for a bit and truly think about what you want in life.
That’s not love. That’s regret. Took me a long time to realize the feeling of being in love with my exes when I was younger wasnt true love just infatuation and in love with the idea of love. Go see a therapist
I don’t think you want your ex back. I think you want closure and need forgiveness for the fact that you hurt him. Maybe reach out and apologise. I feel like this is more of a guilt thing x
Sounds like PPD. Seek actual help!! Like a Dr. it may just be emotions playing with your mind and if not fixed soon, you will eventually be suicidal for being so miserable. Trust me!! I went through it before. My hormonal and emotional balance was WAYYYY off.
you didnt love your ex then and you dont love him now… and you clearly dont love your boyfriend/babydaddy so you need to let both of them go and focus on being a good mom (and not on guys) and continue with therapy
As someone who’s been that ex, please leave him alone. You’ve probably done some serious damage to him. You might wanna see a therapist and get some help figuring your life out. Life is hard and we can’t always get everything we want.
If you’re not happy now, your ex is not going to make you happy. Trust me on this one. You need to work on you, keep going to counseling, get the help that you need.
…its been YEARS since you had contact with the dude or even spoke to him, how do you know if he has changed either for the worse or for better? You have a child with your boyfriend who consoles you WHILE you’re living and loving on the THOUGHT of something and someone from your past, your boyfriend sounds like an amazing man, sounds like to me, he has respect for women in an area which MOST men don’t have respect, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, that relationship has been done for years, honey, move on and get help, if you don’t see yourself loving the man you’re with, let him go, have joint custody, and let a woman have a chance of mending his heart while hes crying over you…a woman who will be lucky enough to end up with this said man will realize whats in front of her…sorry to be rude but I mean…
but get you some help honey, hopefully you’ll find a peace of mind.
Needs advice… Only wants to hear uplifting/encouraging comments.
Girl you already know what you wanna do.
You can’t go backwards
You screwed up your relationship with the ex, whom you now say you loved. Now you are screwing up your current relationship which once he leaves you, you will miss him and realise how much you loved him. You have a fear of being happy. Possibly abandonment issues. Until you get into therapy and see what you are doing you will never be truly happy. It’s possible you have postpartum depression also but you definitely have a problem with relationships and self sabotage. Leave the ex alone. You love the idea of him, not him.
You should leave the ex alone and do not interfere with what he has going on in his own life. You need to move on.
Also you need to let your boyfriend go. He doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t truly love him. You can’t be selfish and just keep him around to comfort you.
You shouldn’t be with anyone right now. You need to figure life out. Go to college and make something of yourself. Men are not the answer for you right now. You still have a lot of growing up to do.
I’m going to be very honest with you… you may regret what you’ve done in high school to your ex but that’s no longer relevant… move on. You are also being very selfish right now leading your boyfriend on. Get your stuff together girl! Relationships don’t work that way. You dont drop and pick up people to fit your needs. You also can’t be with someone while trying to find another person either. You are seriously not ready for any relationship right now
Choose neither one neither guy deserves to be strung along and you dont deserve to put yourself through this wishy washy what if mindframe
You should stay single… You don’t miss your ex… You miss how he made you feel. Move on and seek help.
Lmao this post was posted last night it’s a repeat
First of all, do the man you’re with now a favor and walk away. He doesn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves to put their all into a relationship with someone who doesn’t give the same back. Thats a shitty thing to do. And secondly, I don’t think you really loved your ex otherwise you wouldn’t have lied and hurt him like you did. Continue with some counseling and fix yourself first otherwise you’ll never find happiness.
I’m going to say this slowly for you, because I think you’re confused.
You’re not missing your ex. And you never loved him.
If you had loved him, you just wouldn’t have done what you did.
What you’re feeling now is a guilty conscience. You realise how badly you treated him, and you feel guilty. Don’t contact him. Leave him alone. No need to make him miserable, too.
Ex’s are ex’s for a reason. Leave it that way.
To move forward, I’d suggest you continue going to counseling and focus on the relationship you’re in. He loves you, and he deserves for you to at least try. If you can’t focus on that, then it’s probably better for the two of you to also go your separate ways. And if that happens, you should really work on your own problems before jumping in to yet another relationship.
Leave the poor boy alone and stop leading this dude on. Grow the hell up maybe? You clearly haven’t changed all that much if you’re still okay with lying to the father of your child. Why are you wasting his time if you don’t love him?
It’s time to seek out different professional help because whatever you are doing now isn’t enough. Your past and current behavior isn’t normal.
Seems to me you’re only hurting people and yourself.
Leave the ex alone. Do not reach out. Do not bother him. Raise your child and focus on your mental health. As for you current boyfriend, do not string him along if you do not love him. That is damaging.
You probably love the idea of being back with your ex more so than if you were actually with him again.
You need to focus on making yourself happy before thinking you’d be happier with someone else
You want positive and uplifting comments about this? After you lied and said you were pregnant when you didnt even have sex with the guy? And you’re crying about that dude when your current man is letting you cry on his shoulder about it? Girl
It doesnt sound like love honestly. It could be obsession. But you might not be happy because ypu are looking on an old relationship than working on your current one. Its not right to keep your current one up if u keep thinking of an old one.
How tall and old is your current boyfriend… Asking for myself… Not sure if hes that much of a moron or he actually loves you… Wow… Wow is all I can say because the rest is not uplifting or encouraging.
Leave the man you’re with now. He deserves to be with someone who loves him in return. Also, leave the ex alone as you’ve caused enough damage for him and who knows if he’s married, engaged, or taken. You don’t need to enter back into his life if he’s happy with another. That’s homewrecker status. I’m not sure you know what love is. If you loved the ex you would not have done what you did and if you loved the current you would not be thinking about the ex 
get into counseling and work on you !!!
It’s not real, you cant turn back time, have a memory and that’s wonderful but leave it there. It sounds like you might look back in a few years and regret you threw away what you currently have.
You don’t deserve either of them. Sounds like the only person you need to be seeing is a therapist. Not gonna sugarcoat it for you 
You shouldn’t have had a baby with him if your heart has belonged to someone else the past three years. That isn’t fair to your current boyfriend or your child
Wow you didn’t know what you had when you had it and your repeating the same thing let your boyfriend go he doesn’t deserve it stop looking at your past and look at your present
What does your ex want
Caitlyn Mae Moir said it 100% correct. That’s guilt it will eat away at you. We have to live and learn. Now time to learn to be a better person. Work in what you have or let him go and focus on yourself and child. Honestly doesn’t sound like you’ve changed much byt maybe this guild will help guide you.
Honestly, the best thing for you to do is to break up with your boyfriend and be single for a while. Fix yourself before doing anything else.
After reading all of the comments on here I believe you deserve a fair shake. Everyone says leave him alone. But what if your ex is truly who you belong with? I have been and am still going through the regret of losing an ex, it has been almost 9 years and I still think about him often. I have been married for 9 years, and I still have a big void for my ex. He cheated on me over and over, but yeah, I sill wish we were together. So unless everyone that is giving their opinion on here has actually been through this scenario then they can’t really relate to what your feeling. My suggestion, talk with the person your with, be honest about your feelings for the other person. If he doesn’t mind you talking to your ex, maybe you and your past love can at least build a friendship with him.
I think you should try being alone and work on loving and bettering you self. 
Everyone makes mistakes, at least I know I have. I can’t speak for anyone else here. This is just a fantasy…it’s not real. Btw, all teenagers do dumb stuff. You need to stay in reality. It sounds like you’re just crying over the guilt you have for what you’ve done. Forgive yourself so you can focus on the present. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES! Damn the people who still judge you for your past…I’m sure they have something they’re ashamed about too but can’t admit it. It took great courage to do what you did here. Never mind what others think just forgive yourself and move on.
You are still very young and need to mature a bit. I think you should be single. It seems you have some selfish tendencies that need to be dealt with and I feel like that needs to be on your own. So you dont hurt anyone else. It is not fair to the man your with to stay w him. And it is not fair to the man you think you love to rekindle things because I fully believe that wont leave you satisfied. You need to work from within dear. Find yourself. Love yourself. And put you and your child first.
You need to leave your current man. He does NOT deserve you stringing him along. If you want to ruin the ex’s life again please just dont. If you reach out to him and get a negative response do NOT PURSUE FURTHER. You are broken and I am not saying it to be a harsh person because ive been there. I’ve ruined peoples lives but people do deaerve a 2nd chance at love. You were young and if you want to rekindle and he feels the same Don’t fuck it up. Bc there wont be another chance!
I have no words girl. Just be single you don’t need to be messing with anyone
How old are you, 19? Let me tell you something. We all still love our first real love. The idea of him. Being young, without kids, is a memory.
Leave him alone. Leave your current BF if you dont love him. Avoid hurting men in the future.
Get a life you’re happy with alone and quit relying on men to make you love your life.
Seriously? No one here has ever made a bad mistake or did something they regretted??? No wonder we live in a world where women are afraid to tell other women stuff. You all judged her like you were God. Go back to hiding your own skeletons and leave the poor girl alone. She fessed up and is hurting. This is supposed to be an uplifting page, but lately, all I see is women bashing women! From what I can tell, this girl, yes I mean girl, is only 21 years old. Give her a break! You don’t know her upbringing or circumstances.
You need a therapist.
I say, follow your heart. If you want to contact your ex, do it. He might be thinking about you. If he has moved on and happy at least you will have closure. I don’t judge you at all, everyone makes mistakes. Listen to your heart❤️
You sound like a child.
Until you actually love yourself NO RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO WORK!
I have changed myself and I’ll tell you I’m almost 10 years into my journey and yes I am definitely different, but if you were that bad off just 3 years ago… you’re far from healthy and happy in just 3 short years:woman_shrugging: I mean, sorry, but if you were truly taking your therapy seriously you would already know this. You have a child now… time to grow tf up! That grass is greener on the other side shit will always be there if you let it be. But again, until you’re happy with yourself, which I can see why you’re not, then no 1 thing or 1 person or even a combination of things will make you happy:100: You should let there man you’re holding back go until you figure your shit out as well:100: And what type of real life relationship do you actually think you could ever have with a man that you lied to and on to an extent like that? I mean, honestly? You think he would ever TRUST you? No, and with good reason. It sounds like you just keep hurting others in your quest to make yourself happy and that speaks volumes about you as a person and sorry but I’ve always been a very blunt person:woman_shrugging: You wanted words of encouragement and positivity… Get some serious help and stop hurting those around you! That’s exactly what you need to hear:100:
Sounds to me like your therapy isn’t working. You need to break up with your current bf since you can’t stop living in the past. Hopefully the ex you screwed over is happy with someone who treats him better than you did. You don’t deserve either one of those guys.
Sounds more like you’re in love with the idea and not the person. You know nothing about him now. I do think you need to reach out to him and apologize for the way you acted to him and leave it at that. It sounds like you are just depressed and hyper focused on what was, you need to get your head on straight and leave it at that. I wouldn’t make any rash choices,you have a great man and you say you love parts of him, maybe you can’t focus on how you really feel about him because of your head space. I would get on medication and get your depression managed and you need time to get yourself together. If you don’t want to be with the guy you are with after that then don’t, but you need to let go of your obsession of your ex its not healthy.
You’re a psycho. He’s better off
I don’t know why you would put this on Facebook this needs to be told to a professional counselor 
Be single and see a therapist. What you did to ur ex isn’t right… bet he doesn’t think of you as fondly… and you feel guilty about w you did in highschool. Talk your feelings out with a counselor. And harboring past feelings isn’t great for your current relationship even as you said, you don’t love him…
Mistake #1: You got in a relationship with a new person, when you were not fully over your past. This person you currently with was simply a rebound sadly. You tried to cover up any pain you had, and look where it’s gotten you. #2: It sounds like you more infatuated with the idea of having this person back, rather than actually being with him. It sounds like you need to be honest with yourself, and break things off with this person and be honest about it. You need to focus on repairing yourself, because you clearly have a lot of demons you need to face. I find it pretty difficult to believe you been with this current person for 2 years, had a baby and you don’t love him? That really does not make much sense to me.
Leave your current bf because this is NOT fair to him. Be single and heal yourself. Idk of the ex would ever give you a chance again… I guess you can try but honestly it just sounds like you need to be alone and do some self reflecting and healing
Honestly maybe you need closure. Hit him up and see if he still has feelings for you. If you both feel the same way try to be together and see where it goes. I will say though you are being very unfair to your current bf. He’s not being treated right by you and he definitely shouldnt be your shoulder to cry on when your crying over another guy that for all you know has zero feelings for you. Not to mention you will have to deal with your current bf forever bc you two have a kid together. I honestly don’t see how this is healthy either way. Your current bf deserves way better than you
Leave your boyfriend…leave him because your stringing him along. You deserve to be happy. And he deserves someone who will truly love him. You’re wasting your time and his.
Wow . All these judgemental women being so rude . Were suppose to bring each other up , not down. If you didnt have anything nice to say or give advice . Why even comment. And I see this so much frol this page it’s disgusting. I’m definitely unfollowing.
Good luck and follow your heart .
No one is going to magically make you happy. I think you need to be alone for a while, figure out what you are missing that isnt making you happy. I’m sure if you’re childs father truly loves you he will allow you time to figure your shit out. But you have to realize all the lives you are affecting in the mean time. Also, there might be that possibility that your current won’t take you back.
I left an almost 8 year relationship because I was not happy. I periodically would wonder about an ex. I did contact him and we’ve been together for 3 years. My ex and him are even civil when it comes to the importance of our daughter.
Although your hanging onto something in your past, he may not be the same person as he was back then. Your fantasizing about a life that probably may never exist. 3 years is still pretty recent so maybe you just need some closure from him. And honestly, if your not in love with your bf you should seriously consider being single for awhile and get yourself together. Give yourself some time to find yourself again and figure out what makes you happy. You reminiscing about your past with him is only getting your hopes up for something that may never happen. Give yourself the space you need hun and regroup your thoughts. You have a baby that is needing to be taken care of but you need to be 100% healthy, mind, body and soul.
It sounds like maybe you need to not be in any relationship right now and just focus on your child and yourself. I most definitely wouldn’t recommend staying in your current relationship when he clearly is going to get hurt too.
Your emotional problems have nothing to do with your ex, that’s what you’re focusing on right now. If you have insurance, I’d talk to a doctor about how you’re feeling. If you contact your ex you’ll most likely regret it, even if you got back together with him you’d probably regret it.
“Turned down my favorite dessert.” Lol. Anyway.
Unless your ex also has those same feelings… then girl, there’s nothing that you can do. Move on. The past is the past, that’s life and there’s literally nothing you can do.
Also, to your boyfriend right now — he’s the real MVP. To be holding you through all this, knowing you don’t love him and I’m sure it hurts him. What a sweetheart. You should stop wasting his time, he deserves someone who loves him.
I’m not trying to bash or be mean but going to be blunt.
- You probably never actually loved your ex, you loved the idea of him and how he treated you cuz if you had actually loved him you wouldn’t have done what you did.
- You need to leave your current bf, all you are doing is hurting him in the long run since you don’t love him. Not says you can’t be friends but let him find true love.
- Continue with your counseling and ask your counselor if you should contact your ex. I personally wouldn’t I would let him be especially if it’s been years since you’ve talked to him.
- Be single and focus on your baby and less on love and dating. The right guy will come along at the right time.
" the grass is always greener "
Please remember, the shoulder you are crying on is and always will be you child’s father.
Tread carefully.
I’d recommend counselling. It’ll help.
Your ship has sailed so let your ex be also let this boyfriend go he doesn’t deserve someone who doesn’t love him so put on your big girl panties and let both go and get your shit together and start over when you have figured your shit out
You have a new baby, lots of stress and life changes so that might be why your ex looks so good to you. I agree with Michelle.
Girl, you’re a hot mess! You need to be single, fr. You have a void, which I’m guessing in high school you tried to fill with a bunch of sex and different guys (was your ex collateral damage?). Then you tried to fill that void with a baby (who now seems to be the last thing on your mind when it should be the ONLY thing on your mind). Continue with the counseling, definitely. Let your boyfriend know you’re dealing with some mental issues and he should go live his best life without you. And for the love of God, don’t try to fill this void with anyone else! What you are missing is not another dude. You have a hole in your heart somewhere, and it can only be fixed by you and a professional. You’re on Facebook crying about dudes, while I’m here crying for that baby, who is the only one in your life you should be worried about forming a connection with. Get it together girl. You made the grown up choice to have a baby at 20, now it’s time to actually grow up.
You need to quit leading the current bf on and break up with him. Focus on yourself and get on with your life if your ex doesn’t love you back.
I honestly think your hormones may be off. This does not even sound logical to me at all? I had severe post pardum depression after my last baby, & looking back I was a mess and so irrational on a lot of things, that seemed so real in the moment. I hope you are able to get the help you need. Your boyfriend now, sounds like a keeper. People change, your ex would not be the same person today, as he was 3 years ago. Also, pain changes people. Good luck to you❤️
I would suggest leaving your current boyfriend because if you don’t love him & don’t think you ever will, you both won’t feel okay. It sounds like you’ve grown a lot, which is a good thing, and maybe you can be on good terms with your ex – I’m back to being friends with one of mine actually as of this month since we used to be best friends before we dated & there weren’t any hard feelings on either side – it’s a possibility. If you want to try that though if you haven’t apologized to him before I would strongly suggest doing so.
You need to leave your boyfriend the fact your venting to him and hes holding you crying is such a good man that someone else deserves. What in the actual frick… Im so i dont know i have nothing nice to say but do him a favor and your child so it doesnt grow up thinking its ok to treat others this way. And go heal yourself.
Girl… Postpartum depression doesn’t just happen right after giving birth. I think this had nothing to do with who you love or don’t love, it sounds like sever PPD and it’s thrown your mental health and emotions for a loop. Talk to a medical Dr asap.
If you don’t love your current boyfriend and don’t think you ever could, I would leave him. But I would also leave your ex alone. Sounds like you just need to grow as a person before getting yourself into a relationship
If this was about 3years ago, that would.make you 21 or so. And the current one you have you’ve been with for 2 years. So, about a year after this happened you got together with the current. Something must’ve gone right in this relationship to last for two years. It is also possible that you got into your current relationship too early after you break up (hence rebound). But when I had my rebound it lasted a month and I was out. Rebounds are usually quick to end. I think since you had a baby, maybe it could be PPD? with the hormones being out of flux. PPD can be disastrous.
what made you be with the current bf for this long? If you didnt love him, why didnt you break up with him in the first place? Current bf seems to love you. I think that you should continue to see your counselor, maybe have a psych eval to see if you have PPD. This is the new normal. You have a family. Let your ex be. The damage has been already done, the only thing you can do is apologize for behaving horribly, but he may or may not forgive you.
Please talk to your doctor. It sounds like you have severe PPD.
I echo the others. I think you have PPD. I disagree about leaving your current boyfriend, you may find once you’ve gotten help for your mental health you do still love your current boyfriend and you are just in a bad frame of mind. I’d get help and get healthy and then see how you really feel.
Girl your boyfriend sounds like a hell of a guy
If this isn’t PPD and it’s truly how you feel
Please let him go so he has a chance to meet someone he deserves
You might be wasting his time
I’m sorry
Deborah Jean Williams
It won’t be the same even if you see your EX. My boyfriend broke up with me, he was in the Army and wanted freedom for a while. I contacted my EX and we spent some time together with his family. Wasn’t the same at all as before so quit seeing him. It is just a memory of ‘what was’ not true love especially. You were about 17 I am guessing? Make an appointment with your doctor, check your hormones and whatnot, get on anti-depressants. Don’t make rash decisions with current man until you are back on board with your emotional feelings. You have been with him for 2 years and have a baby. I am surprised that your counselor/therapist hasn’t suggested the doctor or even prescribe something for you. Some do and some don’t. PPD is real and you need something to even yourself out before deciding anything.
Did this with an ex of mine for a decade, he divorced his wife for me after we reconnected 5 years ago, AGAIN. Something just wasn’t right, people change, he wasn’t the same as I remembered, because our memories some how just over exaggerate how amazing everything about that person was, I get it. Follow your heart, do not stop chasing that mad, passionate, gotta have love. I’m all for you trying to reconnect. Btw, he hasn’t changed his number in 15 years just for me… he feels the same way about me as I do him. I fucked up too. But, I found a love even better than his and I am truly happy, time changes you. Remember, nothing is as great as you remember it.
A) do your current bf a favor and leave, you screwed up your ex and now you’re doing the same to him
B) leave your ex alone
Have you been assessed for PPD? All you can do now is move forward. But you need to be the best you that you can be for your baby.
This sounds like post part I’m depression. Your being this depressed could be making you long for that person. Especially if you keep thinking about them you’re obviously going to dream about them. But you should seek help, you don’t know you’ll feel after getting out of PPD
Stop dreaming about your past and what could have been. You are in a great place in present time with a child and a partner. Day dreaming about your ex boyfriend is not going to help though. He is your past, your positive future is with the person you are with. Be grateful for that and cherish what you have in the present.