I need advice on adoption

My uncles girlfriend told me she didn’t want her then 11 month old son, said she didn’t love him like she should & we went to a lawyer to get temporary guardianship papers filled out until I could research on adoption( I was 18 at the time) fast forward…. I’ve had this baby from then until now (he’s 3 almost 4) she lives in a completely different county & since I’ve had him I haven’t heard from her regarding him once. I’ve took him to every doctor/dentist/ect he knows me by mommy. DCS knows I have him because they were after her & had came to my house to see him & they said he was fine & they know the whole story. Well I am now 21 & in the past few years I had struggled trying to get my life together. & when I’ve researched adoption I don’t know what kind of adoption to even look into & I’ve not found a lawyer willing to do paperwork or anything on payment options plans so I plan to use my taxes this year to pay for it, my question is what kind of adoption do I look into? His bio dad hasn’t ever laid eyes on him, he was contacted & he denied him now he’s went ghost, his bio dad’s sister did text for a few days asking about him, it nothing more, his bio grandparents say they’re glad he’s happy, and haven’t tried seeing him in person or even asked about him since he was probably 15 months old. My uncle and his bio mom are still together, they have 2 kids now & have completely forgotten about my sweet baby. She said as long as I paid for the adoption she would sign whatever necessary paperwork is to be signed. She said she doesn’t want to take it to court if she doesn’t have to, that she’d rather it just be a she signs papers & she’s completely relieved of any and all rights of being his “mother”. I know this sounds strange, because no one’s ever heard of it before either. But it’s what I’m in & I’m scared they’ll try taking him from me if I push forward (the government not her) and I can’t lose him. I would be devastated. Anyone who’s dealt with adoption please please help guide me in the right direction!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice on adoption

Where is your uncle in all this

Best to go to legal aid to get as much legal advice as you can.

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Depending on the state you’re in, kinship adoptions or adoptions such as this, can be done by simply going down to your local library or somewhere you’re able to print forms you need (start with parental rights termination) & then take them to the court house, filing the proper paperwork & getting a court date. It shouldn’t be too hard on you, because you already have guardianship! Wishing you the best of luck!:two_hearts:

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Good luck, hope it all works out… what a story…

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I can’t help as not America based but you’re doing an amazing thing. I’m glad this little has you in his corner x

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No advise just positive vibes and prayers for you ! I would gather all of your proof of caring for him just in case. Good luck :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Hey dear I dont know what state your in but if you want to private message me I got a similar situation that I have fully adopted my nephew I’ll give you some pointers just don’t want them out on Facebook

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Since cps was involved looking for her and said he was good with you is there a way they can make you a foster parent then adopt from there?

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Do a kinship adoption. The government won’t take him. You don’t have to have the best of everything to be a good mom just live him and provide for his needs.

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Don’t take anyone’s advise here. That’s a child’s life. U need to call the court and ask

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I just wanna say what your doing is a awesome thing. We need more people like you.

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I’m unsure anyone knows the proper way here. You can contact some attorneys, even legal aid to look into it. You are amazing!

I hope everything works out simply for you and you sound like an amazing mom.I think anyone reading this story is instantly proud of you.:two_hearts: This little boy is so lucky!

It wouldn’t be a kinship adoption as it was her uncle’s girlfriend. My suggestion is just go down the list calling lawyers and asking them to handle it pro bono (free). All lawyers must handle a certain number of cases pro bono every year. You will still have to pay filing fees and such, but the attorney fees are waived. If the bio mom is willing to sign relinquishing her parental rights, this will save you some money, but you also must terminate the rights of the bio dad. Is he willing to sign terminating his rights? If not, you have to have him served a subpoena to come to court where a judge decides termination of rights. Based on info you gave, a judge would agree that termination is in best interest of child. If you don’t know where bio dad is to have him served, costs can add up rather quickly. You will have to pay for a private investigater to locate him, run adds in newspapers, etc. Knowing where his family is is a great start for locating him to have him served. As you already have guardianship, this is in your favor. Good luck!

I adopted my granddaughter and all I had to do is have a pair of legal help me fill out paperwork since I was a blood relative

Why would the government try and take him from you? If child services know you have him and didn’t do anything then I highly doubt you have anything to worry about. You need to terminate both parents rights towards the child first and foremost then look into the adoption process. Also kinda odd they have two other kids since the little guy so maybe the reason your uncle didn’t want anything to do with the child is cause the child isn’t his biologically which is y they’re taking care of the two other children they’ve had since him. Also you need to contact the courts on what the next steps should be legally also. I know with most adoptions they do a home study to make the sure the environment is healthy and good for the child in question then if they approve they tell the judge either way.

Find you a good family lawyer! I did a kinship adoption for my 3 baby cousins and it didn’t cost me too much out of pocket. The judge will favor you since you have had your baby for so many years. They like consistency. At our adoption hearing they first revoked the parents rights because the parents did not show up (they told me they were revoking them regardless of if they showed up or not) and then they went ahead with the name change and adoption. If you have any questions, pm me and I’ll answer more of your questions. It sounds like we have a similar situation!

Contact CPS and tell them what you want to do, they may be able to help you. If not, contact family court. At some point the courts will have to be involved if you want this done LEGALLY. At some point the father will have to be contacted, so he can sign away his rights. You don’t want to skip that step and years down the line and he decides to challenge the adoption.

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I adopted my kids after having guardianship for several years. Contact a local adoption agency and explain everything to them and that bio mom is willing to sign over her adoption without issue. A Christian adoption agency handled my adoption and I’m not religious so I never would have even considered them until someone else told me to call. It is also possible like in my case that it won’t be crazy expensive since you will mostly be paying for a home study and court filing.

Contact a lawyer in your state that deals with child custody. Most lawyers give a free consultation. But being that you’ve had guardianship all this time, it shouldn’t be hard to adopt this little guy.

I’m surprised DCS didn’t open a case and license you as a kinship placement. That was the route I took. It took 3 years, had my son since 2 weeks (January 2018) and he was finally adopted November 2020. It’s such a hard thing and you are so awesome!! I’m 23 and my son will be 4 in January

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Hire a lawyer for a private adoption. They do all the paperwork. It’s a process, but since you’ve had him this long it should be smooth.

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Can you ask someone at DCS if there is a free legal clinic in your area. Seems like this is something they would be eager to help you with.

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Since DCS is involved, they can assist you with the adoption. Give them a call, they’ll be able to help you.

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I don’t have any advice but wanted to thank you for taking that sweet baby in and being the Mom he deserves. I wish you the both the best and truly hope the adoption is easy for you. :heart:

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You are so awesome!!!

I don’t they will take the baby away. The court and etc always take in consideration the bonding you and the child have. The child don’t know the birth mom and after all this time has passed by you will get the child no problem

Wow, you are so young yourself—what a heart you must have. Consult with legal aid or adoption, family law, attorneys etc. I hope this journey to full adoption of YOUR son continues to be smooth for you. The very best wishes to you and him. :blue_heart:

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Go to the courthouse and there should be legal aid to help you figure out what paperwork you need to fill out and tell you exactly what you need to do. Being that she is willing to sign over the baby you may not even need a lawyer and just file for the procedure yourself, but if legality is needed they will provide you a lawyer at low or no cost with payments. Also, if you know the number to the CPS worker that was in your home she maybe able to help you as well. Good luck with everything

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She gave up one and had two more good grief

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I’m an adoption social worker. You can PM if you’d like

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No advice, I’ve never dealt with adoption, but you’re a beautiful person and that baby is lucky to have you. Goodluck. :yellow_heart:

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Bless your heart! :heart:

I don’t have any advice. But well wishes and you are an amazing person. :heart:

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I honestly don’t know how to help you, but I just wanted to say that you are amazing. YOU are HIS MOTHER.
knowing the full story and bio birth givers testimony saying they’ll gladly relinquish all rights to you, I don’t believe the any state will take him from you. YOU ARE HIS MOTHER.

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I’ve had my son since he was 2 yrs old. We had to do temporary custody for 2 years before we could adopt. Since the father never saw him we put unknown father and the mother signed her rights over in my lawyers office. I’m the only one that had to go to court. This long after no contact from the mother her rights should easily be taken without any trouble. Since DCS is involved and knows the story, they should be able to help you.

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Depending upon state that you’re in, she also could have basically been considered for abandoning him, and you could get him that way if no contact from her about him.

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I feel you been there. Got a lawyer and prayers cause you have a rough road. Do close adoption that open adoption can really mess up what ypu and child have going on.

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I believe as long as you can provide love
Support and financial

Then I don’t see why they will take him

Just keep looking for that support to make him completely yours

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She needs to officially relinquish her rights of him then go to Dcfs and have them start the adoption process, they can hook you up with adoption assistance also.

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I don’t have any advice but

WOW!

You’re are absolutely amazing and your little boy is so lucky to have you as his mumma :heart:

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Why don’t u start u a go fund me page to help

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Go to your local courthouse. They have legal aid there to help you file adoption papers and make sure your doing things the right way. As long as your able to care and provide for the boy you should be ok.

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Go tell dcs you want to get the adoption rolling and they will instruct you on what to do next. Also they should pay for it as well

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That was a manipulative tactic on her part to stay out of court so she doesn’t get hit with child support. The government/court would never take away a child from the only person he’s ever known as momma without reason. If you haven’t given them a reason to put him in foster care then they won’t.

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I would think it would depend on where you live. My mom basically had the same thing done to her with my little cousins (my dads brothers kids) all my mom had to do was get a legal document drawn up and signed, stating she’s signing all rights over to you.

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I have no advice. I just came to say that I am seriously in awe of you at age 18 to take in an 11 month old and just commit yourself to him. You have a beautiful heart and I wish you and your child all the best in life!

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I don’t see why the government would take away a happy and safe child from a good caregiver, especially after you’ve had him this long. Getting rights severed and adoptions are whole other processes though. Good luck. :sparkling_heart:

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Well if you do adopt him there’s nothing they can do ,because all the papers will have her signature that she agreed to the adoption, if she regrets it later ,it’s too bad, so keep everything that shows they never texted or messages where they say that they don’t care about him pretty much because it seems like they really never cared for him.

You will be fine.

Don’t know what state you’re in but in Alabama you go through the probate office when it’s not a dhr case.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice on adoption

I have no advise cuz I do not want to provide info that is not accurate… but I will say you are one amazing sweet angel ! May God continue to bless you both

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Not sure the relationship you have with your local social services office but they may be able to guide you.

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He’s been with you and DCS is happy with what you’ve been doing♥️ there’s no reason they would take your baby, unless you can’t prove to be a reliable mother or pass drug tests. Your an amazing young lady and this sweet baby is so blessed to have you!

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Idk where you are but I would go to the courthouse and ask there. Or if DCS knows about it maybe they can lead you in the correct legal direction… I have never heard of this either so I have no idea cause where I’m at a parent cannot willingly sign rights over unless there is a step parent there to adopt (2 parent household) so i gave zero idea how it works any other way.

Try to keep your baby out of it cause you don’t want them thinking their biological mom didn’t want them since they have 2 kids now kinda thing. I would try to keep it out of court too, it could get messy but for legal reasons you might have to go through court unfortunately.

You are AMAZING for stepping up and beyond for that baby!!! YOUR baby!! Start with DCS and see if they can point you in Thr direction you need since they know the whole story. Best wishes!

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My niece was adopted without my sisters permission. She was in jail and had her daughter go live with her aunt in another state. After years of being in jail and trying to fight for her back, she never got her back. After so many years I think 7 or 10 not sure, but you can legally adopt without parents permission. Idk how it works exactly I just know that it happened to my sister with her daughter. I would def talk with your dcf worker

My Mother has went through this exact same thing with my brother she adopted him eventually hers was a little hard as the mother didn’t want him but didn’t want to sign either I believe they did an abandonment adoption with a lawyer

Going through family courts and terminating her parental rights and showing proof you’ve taken care of him all this time would be a must have first step to helping make him legally yours.

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They will not take him! You’ve proven to be a fit mother THAT IS YOUR BABY!

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I was adopted in 97. We chose a closed adoption meaning until I was 18 no biological family could have contact. There was a lot more to it but that’s what I chose.

We ended up adopting our great-niece (my wife’s sister’s daughter’s baby). It took a little over two years to make it happen. It sounds like you’d have to do a normal domestic adoption like we did.

PLEASE if you keep anything in mind ALL your adoption costs are tax deductible (up to a certain amount).

I have no advice for you at all and im sorry. I just wanted to let you know how much of a wonderful loving human being you are. This little boy is so grateful to have you as his mommy. It’s really terrible how some of these parents treat their children and you was 18 at the time taking on a responsibility you really didn’t have to take on. You are such a blessing, good luck on the adoption.

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Go to your county court and file parent abandonment. They can give you a court appointed attorney and revoke her rights and give you full custody. That would be where I would start if you can’t do adoption at this time.

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Go see a family lawyer for a free Consultation and see what you need to do.

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If she is willing to sign paperwork why can’t she just sing to give up parental rights to you.

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I have no idea but it so Amazing to see there are people Out there who care keep up the work and raise and love that little. Boy they way shpildd be

We had a similar situation adopting my little brother, you should be able to claim abandonment and have bio parents rights revoked so that then you can adopt

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Which state are you in? Laws are different everywhere. It should be as simple as her relinquishing her rights to allow you to adopt but the actual adoption process is different in each state

File for abandonment, then after that adopt this baby. :heart:

She likely has PPD. Which is easily treatable. She should speak to her doctor BEFORE you take her son from her. I had the same medical issue for the first 18 months of my daughter’s life. Took my medicine for a few weeks and started to feel better. I was back to 100% at 6 months. Speak to her before you do anything.

I guess I should’ve read the whole damn post. Shits already hit the fan.

Call Patricia Bryant in elberton ga she is a very caring lawyer.

You should be able to file with court and they can terminate parental rights .

My friend took in her younger siblings when she was 18 because her mother was unfit and abusive. Fast forward to 4 years later because there was no paperwork, her mother came back into the picture and took them back and they didn’t want to go, she was completely devastated. I would definitely just do it legal so you don’t have any way of other family members taking him. Cross all your T’s And dot your I’s as it is said. You can never be too prepared for something like that. Good luck!

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My parents adopted my sisters and the bio parents signed away their rights and my parents paid for the paperwork and cost them like 2k

My advice is to do some research and find the best family lawyer in your area that offers free consultations. Plan ahead and write any and all questions down have all of your info in order because the free consults only last so long. After that you should have a pretty good idea what needs to be down and you could start preparing now. Also, look into legal aide on your area. Depending on your income you might qualify. I wish you both all the best and I hope you get it figured out quickly!!

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Not sure of the legal systems in the US , but here in the UK you would have a social worker help you arrange it all .

Get a free consultation with a family lawyer. Tell them you want a private adoption, that the mother is willing to sign over her rights in office. If you can get bio dad to sign too that would be really beneficial. If he won’t then the lawyer will have to track him down and ask him if he contests the adoption or if he’ll sign. If he contests then it’s a while court battle. If not then you will get a court date to finalize your adoption. The birth parents have 60 days to change their mind after they sign the papers relinquishing their rights. During the 60 days DCS will come do a home study, thats basically coming to your house to check that the child has everything it needs and is well taken care of. After that 60 days are up you will go in front of the judge and the judge will grant you adoption. I paid #2k for my private adoption and my situation was very similar. My lawyer at the time told me there is no money to be made in private adoptions so don’t let them charge you an arm and a leg to have it done, find a new lawyer if they try to. I personally would not pay any more than 3k for a private adoption. Mine broken down 1k went to the actual adoption itself and the other 1k went to my lawyer. That was it.

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Hi. I’ve been through adoption. We went through Catholic charity. If you want you can pm

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I unfortunately have zero advice, but big kudos to you for stepping up for that little one!

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If you’re in the US… . Perhaps seek legal guardianship first since she’s willing to sign papers… there will still be a filing fee with the courts usually around 200 depending on your state. Then you will be more covered legally. Then later, go for adoption? You are a really kind person, good luck to you and your baby boy!

Bless your heart!!!

Make sure you get a good Attorney. Both Mother and Father have to sign off.

Well you have the dad too that you have to deal with… He’s abandonment. For her she can sign over parental rights but it depends on how strict your state is… some states do interviews and inspections. Virginia just processed the paperwork and it was done within 3 weeks.

No advice…you’re an amazing and selfless person :heart:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice on adoption

Dcs can assist with the adoption. They will cover the lawyer in the end. Your case manager should be able to guide you in the right direction. I have adopted through Dcs it is a long process… But so worth it in the long run. Best of wishes to you and the baby. You are an angel to him.

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It’s actually going to be the opposite of what you’re thinking. DCF/DHR will help you with custody. It would be way cheaper and quicker this way, especially since they know the child is living with you and they know his background. You’ll definitely have DCF and the court system on your side. If you haven’t already, you need to have proof of everything in the case that someone other than the mother steps up and wants to take him. They’ll also take into consideration that this child knows you as his mother so you do have that on your side as well. Best wishes to you, that sweet baby, and your family.

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What a blessing you are to that baby! I don’t have any answers but I wish you two the absolute best. :hugs:

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Your love and commitment at such a young age defines you! Thank you. And DCS will definitely help you.

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It depends where you are from but I do know you have to also serve bio dad and as long as there is no kind of abuse or reports on you the government won’t get involved. But if I recall correctly in California the paperwork for guardianship also comes with paperwork for adoption it is a process but since you have had him this long it makes it easier

I adopted my grandson from my daughter, go to the local court clerk (we went thru probate) and ASK ASK ASK write down every question you have and ask it!!! Get the required paperwork they should have it or will head you in right direction. Get a fee waiver if you don’t have a great job as there is a fee to file any court paperwork. We did not use a lawyer as my daughter was also willing to sign as was the dad. Good Luck

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In the state I live in you have to have an attorney for adoption. I’ve been thru similiar situation but with my grandsons. Mother gave me guardianship of both boys but we went ahead and got court ordered guardianship. Then we decided to adopt and our circuit clerks office said you have to have an attorney to do an adoption. A family law lawyer would have no problem filing for adoption for you.

Have her write a letter saying she, her name, gives you, your name, parental rights and releases her parental rights and financial obligation of the child, child’s name, since the date you started having custody of the child. Moving forward all of the child financial, educational, healthcare, wellness needs are to be full filled by you.
If you can get the father to go the same it will be easier moving forward. Ask a notary public to sign the letters and notarized them. Then take it to the court and find it with the city you live in.

As long as she will sign papers I believe you can just go to the court house and get adoption papers, sign and pay for the service fee.

I would assume you could do it right at a lawyers office, that’s how my fiancée did his custody agreement because they agreed on it it wasn’t even real expensive

If the bio father on his birth certificate get him to sign off also.
If he doesn’t threaten with back child support.
It’s simple if both parties sign him over to you.

No answers but THANK YOU for taking care of that sweet baby❤️ he is VERY lucky to have you

DCS can help you with this, especially since they have a file on it already,

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