Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice or perspective - Mamas Uncut
I say warn him, but explain their opinions donât matter, and let him. I started with basics like liner and gloss around 12 so the age seems right. Itâs 2022, midwesterners (and everyone really) can catch up with the times and worry about themselves!! The fact youâre even worried says youâre doing a good job mom!! 
fill his head with love so loud he can drown out any potential hate!!
Honestly, if your kid is different and has been different this whole time, he is already acclimated to having to process mean comments from his peers. The confidence he will experience from being able to express his authentic self will supercede the negativity he may get from his classmates.
Let him. Eyeliner on men is pretty mainstream these days. And kids are jerks no matter what you do/wear/say or whatever, if theyâre going to bully theyâll find something. Let him be himself.
I would let him know some may not be so accepting ALSO talk to the school about their makeup policies, as some may have strict policies against it.
You sound like a great mum. I would let him do what he wants . We shouldnât have to change our image or the way we want to look in order to fit into others box and if he gets bullied you deal with it when it comes. Until then let him free c
Let him know sone kids will not agree with him wanting to do that because its different than others and people tend to bully differentâŚafter that id limit the amount of makeup until hes 13 or 14.start small eye liner nail polish.that will be enouph to make a statement.by 15 if he wants to wear a tutu.and a tiara there wouldnt be any stopping him at all.
Iâve noticed that make-up and nail varnish seems âback in fashionâ in a punk way. Bullies will always find something and actually the kids Iâve worked with seem far more accepting. I guess the Midwest thing might mean youâre nervous and I canât comment on that but you canât stop your son being himself and if you say no, youâre giving out a message. Maybe warn him he might get bullied but that itâs not okay to be bullied for it.
I think it would be a great thing for him to do. I would of course just talk to him about potential bullying but he just may embolden other students to freely express themselves also.
I would warn him about the horrible bullying he may en counter,but also inform him it his right to express himself ,and that usually when kids bully other kids,they are just jealous because they dont have the courage to express themselves ,so do not let the bullying effect his mental health
Just talk to him about it and let him express himself! My son is 9 and asked to wear nail polish. I of course had no issue with this, so we just had a little talk about how some kids werenât raised right like he is and can be really mean about things they think are different. And then we picked out a color he wanted and we painted those nails! 
First I would check the school handbook. Alot of schools donât allow hair dye, make up, or anything else that would draw attention to them. Ask him if other boys at his school do or have done this. If heâs clear about the answer then Iâd let him wear whatever he wanted.
Iâd warn him of consequences from others (peers and their parents) and make him wait, he is to young yet.
My 9 year old (12 now) wanted to wear nail polish. Also big on self expression, we didnât say no BUT did prepare him for the possibility that not EVERYONE he met would be kind about it or as opened minded. He has continued to do so on and off since.
I say let him as long as you can remind him of how mean/closed minded people can be.
Best of luck
At twelve Iâd keep it very minimal. A light look to start out with. And Iâd tell him about the possible pushback from mean kids.
Be open and honest, tell him you fully support him but make him aware not everyone does, especially kids and he might attract the wrong attention, well done for being an amazing Momma and letting your son express himself they way he wants! People can be cruel sadly and alot find that out the hard way but if you make him aware he will be able to choose wisely
Let him know that he canât wear it too school, itâs just as inappropriate for girls as it is for guys. Out side of school is up too him
Eyeliner is still the thing with guys now days if he can handle the comments let him. Just tell him people may say hurtful things but ignore them.
If my son came to me asking Iâd say yes but only eyeliner
Let me ask you this, if he were a girl, would you allow her to wear makeup at this age? It should be the same for boy or girl. And if not, then explain that to him. Explain to him what comes with wearing makeup, the responsibility to act appropriate while wearing it and to not let it be just for attention, same as you would tell your daughter. Itâs for self expression only, and not self esteem. Also explain to him what he can expect from his pears, like the attention it brings (whether it be good or bad). Also let him know that he could possibly encounter teachers and faculty that may not be so kind about it. Itâs not right for them to act like that, but itâs still very much a possibility and likely to happen.
I would definitely let him know you are all for it and love that he knows who he is and what he likes. But also let him know that ppl and especially kids suck. They are mean . Just start off with a small amount of makeup and see how the other kids react to it. I always say it âdoesnât hurt to tryâ for the most part at least. Good luck mama!!
I think you should have a conversation with him about the possible consequences and let him decide. Keep up the good work!
I wpuld def mention some people may not be accepting and bully him and then let him decide. I had ear surgery to pin my ears back from being bullied as a child. At 31, I donât give a fuck what others think of me lol but at a young age I did. Also, I do like the comment about if you had daughter and she was 12, would you let her wear make up? I feel 12 is still pretty young.
A lot of schools donât allow any makeup now. So better check with the school first.
If he can understand that a lot of people were taught differently. And that people have a hard time accepting what they canât understand and when people treat you bad itâs a reflection of whatâs inside of them and really has nothing to do with you on a personal level . If he can understand that . Just maybe . A possible trial run maybe ?
âDo I fully inform him of the potential for bullying? And then just let him?â YES!! <3 Arm your kid(s) with âreal world a$$holryâ as early as possible. I tell my kids to be themselves and let jerks be jerks!
I started wearing makeup at about that age. Grade 7 picture day I had a lovely blue dress my mom had made for me, hair up with a light bit of makeup. Basically a nowadays day look. Nude colour palette. I looked very grown up and I was made fun of because my tiny heeled shoes made me sound like a teacher coming down the hall. 
Next year nice white shirt, jeans and no makeup.
Iâd warn him of the potential of being bullied because not everyone is going to like it. but let him make his own choice after he has all the information. He may choose to do it and then stop. Or he may love it and continue.
Talk with him and let him know your concerns then let him express himself. Todayâs children donât March to the beat of theyâre own drum. They need too. So have your beautiful son March to the beat of his own drum. Much luv
Be honest make sure he understands some people suck and it could open the door to bullying and ridicule. Let him decide if he still wants to and support whatever he decides and normally the make up starts around 12-13 some parents make them wait till 14 or 15 I think if your ok with it then itâs OK at his age there is no right age it should be parent and child decided
Back in my teen years no one messed with the goth kids they were too scared of us lol
I wouldnât let my son do that. That will be just causing attention to him. He just needs to learn not everyone is like him and wait til he gets older.
I would just explain to him that ppl are close minded and while you fully support him ppl at school/peers may not. Just make sure he is prepared and that he knows he can come talk to you about anything when/if it does happen.
Whenever one of my kids wants to do something drastic to their appearance I give them the lowdown and let them decide if theyâre ready. My 15yo trans son(daughter to son) still gets bullied after 3 years of coming out but heâs staying strong and because he knows heâs got me in his corner he doesnât let it bother him. Itâs the same damn kids too, like come on donât you have something better to do this is old news! My 12yo daughter started experimenting with makeup last year because she was the only one in her class who hadnât started wearing makeup and was being picked on for being plain. I caved and got her some gloss and mascara when she started her period. Itâs been over a year and she only wears eyeliner now. Sheâs not much of a girly girl but the eyeliner suits her style so we roll with it. Kids go through so many phases and changes Iâm all for self expression as long as they arenât hurting anyone or themselves, itâs appropriate, and they are forwarned of the possible consequences and are able to handle the judgmental beings.
My daughter came out as lesbian when she was 11 and she dresses how she wants. I told her once people can be assholes. She shrugged and said âI know but I donât fucking like them eitherâ. She gets pissed that the school whines about her choker necklace having spikes more than how she fits in. For a 14 year old sheâs bad ass. I wish I had her âgo fuck yourselfâ attitude.
I would tell him to do what makes him happy but not all people are as accepting as they should beâŚMaybe a little bit of makeup at a timeâŚThatâs a rough one. Good luck to you and your sonâŚ
I fully inform my kids that people are narrow minded & refuse to accept anyone who doesnât line up with their ideas. I explain that these people have problems accepting who they are & itâs great that he has fully accepted himself. Put him in self defense classes so he can protect himself.
I would say your concerns are correct regarding the bullying BUT your attitude is awesome fully inform
Allow to make the choice and stand back ready to pick up the pieces or to strengthen your bond even further with proud moment when he isnât
I totally believe in freedom of expression but kids are cruel and I wouldnât let him until he is able to fully handle the hate. Kids are awful and adults are awful
You guys are wonderful this was anonymous but Iâll say this is my post and my son. Heâs got jet black hair and crystal blue eyes, just a beautiful beautiful boy. I think weâll play with some eyeliner, he already paints his nails and has for quite a while. I really love seeing all the moms that get my perspective on this. When I was young, youâre right, my mom kept it minimal on what I was permitted, mascara, lipgloss and blush. So it makes sense to start that way for him. Heâs a force of a boy and I think heâll handle any bullying really well tbh.
Warn him about potential for bullying. I would start with barely noticeable stuff. Maybe lip gloss or eye liner.
This one is so, so sticky 
Yes fully inform and talk about bullying. I guess if he still wanted to I would allow it? Iâm honestly not 100% confident in that answer.
Youâre such a good mom
I only had 2 sons who were not interested in makeup beyond mascara but my sons were not allowed to wear mascara to school until they reached high school. I now have 4 grand daughters and this rule is what their parents have adopted. This is only about school though, my 12 yr old grand daughter wears mascara and colored lip balm any day she is not in school.
Let him wear it at home
I donât know where youâre from but in SW MI it really isnât that big of a deal. Be honest about what might happen, help him come up with scenarios and replies, and let him make his own choices.
Let him wear it around the house & weekends. See how people respond when hes out and about. Heâll figure it out. And the talk wouldnt hurt too.
I would tell him about being bullied and let him decide if itâs a part of his self expression to wear makeup at school, or not to. Kids can be cruel, especially when others look different.
Protect him and go with your guts. Kids in school are brutal! Itâs horrible out there. Especially at such vurnable age .
13 is to young for anyone to wear makeup.
I would treat it just like i would my daughter i wont let her wear make up that young so donât tell him no because he is a boy or anything like that i would just say you think hes a little to young
The world we live in today is a lot more open to these kinds of things as they have been forced to be. There are of course still several persons not on bird with anything you just spoke of. I am all for gender equality, in which this falls under, and doing whatever the hell you want regardless of the back lash. Buttt some kids may be to young mentally, to process it all. If you think he is ready, go for it. If you think he would agree to wait a little while longer after having the very open talk about it all, then so be that to. I hope he gets to be himself and happy before he decides he has to try to fit in. 
I would just explain to him that he is more than welcome to wear make up, but others may not be so welcoming. He might get bullied etc but he will at least be prepared. Good luck sweetie
Definitely warm him about the potential for bullying (these kids today are the meanest I have ever seen) heâs old enough to totally understand and make the decision on if thatâs something heâs willing to go though to wear makeup at school.
I see a lot of people saying heâs to young? I donât think thatâs true at all my 12 year old has been able and allowed to wear makeup since she hit 6th grade⌠itâs makeup, same as hair it can be removed and or changed. I feel as a parent itâs about picking battles but also keeping him informed on why you are hesitant on the issue. Good luck to both of you 
Maybe you could tell him how it was for you and your experiences. Just be honest and give him a heads up and say you want ppl to welcome him to be totally ok with it but letâs face it anyone a little different theyre going to get judged and (hopefully not) mocked. Kids are cruel but if heâs got a strong self belief he should be absolutely fine and have no trouble sticking up for himself and telling ppl where to go. Good luck xx
I would have this conversation with your child. Tell them exactly this.
Let them try it and see how it goes
My oldest wanted to wear nail polish to school, we had this convo, he did it one day and asked me to take it off at the end of the day
Open and honest with him is best. I personally think 13 is too young for makeup. I wasnât allowed to wear makeup til I was 15 or 16 
Just let him know of all the possibilities of what could happen and support him
Let him try it n explain there maybe bulliee
at that age male or female they will Have all kinds of horrible things said about them. For me itâs too young for either child
Honey Wright whatâs your enlightened advice from experience with any of This?
I would wait until high school at least. I have a boy (13) too and I can tell you that middle schoolers are mean.
I say you talk to him about bullying and donât sugar coat it⌠some kids are MEAN. Then again so are some adults. So, real talk and let him decide.
I couldnât wear make up until I was 16. Maybe have him wait a couple years
Talk to him, he needs to learn to make safe choices in his life and he needs to weigh his consequences for bullying.
I would go with his grade. For example, I wasnât allowed to wear makeup until 8th grade. ( I turned 13 summer before 8th grade) I would however, fully inform him of the potential to be bullied and just how cruel people, not just kids, can be and let him know that you fully support whatever decision he makes.
In my day a lot of the goth/emo kids wore like eyeliner, and to my knowledge none of them were bullied
My daughter is going through bullying currently. It is hard to see them break down, you want to jump in and protect them, but you can only do so much. I would definitely talk to him about the possibilities. My daughter is in 4th grade, and dealing with kids having a âhate clubâ in her name. 
I am trying to deal with her fragile heart but also reminding her that their opinions donât change who she is, they donât get to take her smile away, and at the end of the day she is the bigger person because she knows that they have no reason to hate her they are just dealing with their own issues. Just talk to him. 
Let him express however but be vigilant in having mental health talks / ask questions and vice versa. Believe it or not but I live in the south and we have a lot of lgbqt middle / high students and a lot of kids are accepting. Much different times . I have a daughter the same age as him .
Im also from the midwest Missouri to be exact and even when i was in high school (im 40) guys particularly goth guys wore makeup it was and still is no big deal here! Allow him to be informed but also express himself and who he is 
i have a 17 year old goth/emo son who use to wear the black makeup and paint his nails! I also have a almost 12 year old who is discovering who he is and has said he like boys i allow him to go whatever direction he wants and support him 100%! It was rough for him as he thought something was wrong with him but with love and support he is confident and happy with who he is!
Why would you let your son wear girls makeup ? Really?
My son loved doing the goth thing. He was a little older but not only did kids bully him but some of the adults did too. One adult told him to go under the rock from where he came. I did not hear or see any of it mostly he told me after he became an adult. Just warn him of both kids and adults.
I think he is a little to young to wear makeup to school yet I would let him wear at home and when he is out with his family thatâs how I do it with my grandchildren it gives them time to learn how they want to do their makeup practice makes perfect
You allow your child to express themselves any way they want (as long as it doesnât harm them or anyone else). Just have a conversation with him about the possibilities of bullying and a conversation about how itâs important to stand up for himself and not to take what others say to heart .
Maybe have him start out slowly, a little at a time.
Iâve been out of school for 20 years now, but all through middle and high school, I knew guys who wore nail polish, eye liner, mascara⌠it was the goth/emo look. Not to many people cared. At the same time, kids werenât half raised assholes as much 20 years ago.
We ran into a similar issue when my oldest came out as trans and non binary. You canât stop the world from being mean, but you can always be their safe place, where they can find happiness in who they are and how they want to express themselves.
Btw, I am also a MUA and would let him. Get him a nice set of brushes in his favorite color. Get him watching some the amazingly talented male MUAs on YouTube. I especially love Robert Welsh.
i cosmetize at a mortuary as well here in CO. my mom never let me wear makeup until highschool (to school, but i could always wear it at home. if we went out in public i had to take it off). she just always told me i was naturally beautiful, and itâll age my skin. i would get mad, but i eventually understood. maybe tell him the same? also, talk about societal norms and how bullying is a possibility, but donât steer him away from who he wants to be. i know itâs a tough one, but youâll know what to do!
I donât have any advice bc I have a 12 year old boy and in the same position (or I feel like I will be soon) but he did come home a couple weeks ago with painted black nails. Me and his step dad whoâs been in his life the past 6 years let it be. We want him to love himself also but we too worry about him being bullied. I let him keep it on for a week but by the weekend he goes to his Mamaw/dads house and theyâre very Christian like go to church every Time the doors are open so i have him the choice of leaving the nail polish on but I also bought him polish remover just in case. He took it off the day he went to his mamaws so she didnât see. But I atleast have him the choice
Itâs really up to you. Be honest about it possibly leading to bullying and letting him know that no matter what he does someone is going to find something wrong with it.
The bands I listened to growing up (and still do)⌠all had guys wore makeup. And theyâre bad ass. I had to wait til 13 to put any sort of eyeliner on. High school is when i really branched out and everyone had their own style. I say who cares what anyone else thinks. BUT i also know kids are cruel. Maybe start of with a small amount and teach how to properly apply. Then go from there. Maybe waiting til high school is the way to go! Or! Let him try is out this summer and grow confident in it and come back the next school year with his new look. Iâll attach some pics of guys wearing makeup.
Warn him about bullying. If he still does it. He can either learn to live with being bullied forever or learn to never do that again.
My 12 yr old grandson in the goth phase he wears black nail polish
My 11 yr old isnt allowed to wear makeup to school or out of the house shes allowed to practice when we are home and have no plans if any of my boys came to me and said that Iâd have to apply the same rule âŚI dont think knowly putting ur kids at risk for bullying when u could stop it is a good plan rt now when hes older and theres nothing u can do to stop it then itâs time to concede and compromise
If you had a daughter and she wanted to wear heavy makeup at that age, my guess is the answer would be no. It always has to be age appropriate and maturity plays a big part in it. If you donât think he understands the bullying part of it then heâs not mature enough to wear it. If he wants to play around with it around the house then you can provide him feedback similar to what you would to a daughter if itâs too much of this or that. Just MHO. Good luck.
Tell anyone saying why would she let her son wear make up, if you know anything about history men were make up quite frequently over women. Why because they didnât want to look like crap the same way women today wear make up. That being said, heâs going to be bullied matter watt. If heâs not wearing it like heâs a girl comment heâs wearing like cars thereâs a difference. If heâs wearing it to be feminine, then heâs either by or heâs gay. You got a try to figure that out. According to todayâs society people are so much more excepting, no they are not. Heâs got a sign is on Waze and sometimes he might be in that little push to get himself to be I donât care what other people think or say.
As a goth child who wore make up young, whenever I got bullied I told them they were either jealous of my skills, or mad that thier mommies and daddies wonât let them be cool like me. Just teach him ways to talk to people who donât understand and or refuse to educate themselves. People who pick on others are very unhappy and get mad when they see people loving themselves.
Kids get bullied for literally ANYTHING. Adults and children shouldnât feel shamed into not doing something they enjoy because someone else might not like it. Every parents have different rules for makeup, some see it as more adult some see it as no biggie. Let your son know with anything comes immature people who have no life and focus too much on others⌠that he has you and your wife to back him up. The best thing you can do if makeup isnât an issue, support. Let him know no matter what youâll defend him, and stand by him.
Inform how kids typically behave. Let him decide what he can handle.
My second son is 11 and he LOVES makeup. I informed him that some people wonât like that heâs a boy who wears makeup. They may say nasty things to him. I also informed him that you wearing makeup isnât hurting anyone and is a form of self expression. Other people will most definitely have opinions, which theyâre entitled to have. But itâs up to you to let them know that itâs your face, your body and their mean opinions donât bother you. Not everyone is going to accept you for who you are. Thatâs just how the world is. But donât ever try and be something youâre not just to make other people happy. Bc then itâs not you that they like, itâs the fake mask you wearâŚ
Let the child be himself. Not everyone is going to like it and thatâs how the rest of his life is going to be. If he likes it and it makes him happy, what harm is it ?
My parents didnât allow me to wear makeup untill my 8th grade graduation. I did start wearing makeup when I started high school. I think itâs best to have him wait untill heâs a little older. Just my opinion.
You sound like a wonderful mother already. Love your son through this, and allow your son to be who he truly is no matter who that is. High school and middle school only last for a little while, but your relationship and you supporting your child will last forever. It sounds like youâre already trying to do that as much as you can. Youâre on the right path. Maybe have a gentle conversation with him about your concerns, but be very gentle. You donât want to steer him away from what he really wants with your concerns. Make sure you make him realize in that conversation that you support him and love him. Like some others said maybe buy him some make up brushes in his favorite colors or some nice make up then have the conversation. Wishing you the best!
Be the âyouâre not wearing make up to schoolâ type of mom many moms do that anyways for all different reasons.
Iâd prepare him for the bullies and ask that he start out with light makeup (maybe just eyeliner?) To test the waters
My niece has just gone through bullying that led to her attempting suicide. Sheâs always been a very unique and free-spirited soul but sheâs 15 and kids are CRUEL. I donât think it matters where you are, theyâre all cruel. Iâd check school handbook and if it doesnât say anything Iâd have him keep it modest: think professional work setting, that way he can still express himself a bit and just test the waters. Iâd be very honest with him and try to prepare his little heart
Fully inform him and explain just as you have . Definitely ask him to think about that side of it . Then support as much as you can . He must be particularly aware this will cause some issues itâs if heâs ready to handle it . Thereâs enough decent ppl about that wonât take any notice xxx
I love that you support your sons style! But I wouldnât allow my son or daughter to wear makeup until 15/16 so they can know the effects it can have on their hormonal skin/skin in general 
I also feel like itâll buy you more time so you can help build his confidence/he can be even more sure of himself incase he does end up being bullied.
When my daughter was idk 5 and wanted to cut off almost all her hair. At that age i told her alot of people are going to accidently call you a boy ⌠cuz boys usally have no hair ! They will ask you why you have a âboyâ haircut ! Are you ready to answer these questions, without getting angry are you able to handle all eyes being on you sometimes ! She answered yes she is now 7 with a âboyâ haircut and boy clothes and she stands her ground. Id have a convo and tell your son what could happen and if hes ready to handle that !
I wasnât allowed to wear makeup until 16.
Put him in a martial arts class and let him wear the makeup. At least if heâs going to be bullied, he can have the confidence tools to deal with it
Just say no. And explain why. because the bullying that Happens out in the school streets 
letâs allow him do it after high school
My 12 year old son loves coloring his hair and painting his nails. Every time I remind him that kids can be really mean, especially with something they may not understand. But heâs always very happy with his look and takes their opinions with a grain of salt.
My daughter wasnât suppose to wear makeup til 15. Went to get her from school one day because of a family emergency and I had to do a double take. Didnât even know she was dressing goth lmao. Sit down and talk to him about how people would react and let him make the choose if it is something he really wants to deal with this right now.
Iâd inform him then let him decide. Someone else suggested starting off with light makeup to âtest the watersâ and I thought that sounded like a good idea⌠thereâs also a lot more to go into thinking, does he already stand strong in who he is and what he likes? (It sounded like he is) if so then itâs likely the bullies wonât get to him. If heâs hurt a bit more easily then maybe wait a bit⌠also Iâve found that kids are seemingly a bit more open minded nowadays, so maybe it wonât even be a big deal (weâre also in the midwest, and I have 2 high schoolers. Plus we know a guy whoâs extremely liked in our community who has always wore heavy makeup) I think if you show up wholeheartedly yourself with confidence in who you are then most people just roll with it (obviously not everyone, thereâs always a few buttheads, but for the most part)