Let your son know that when someone is a bully it’s because of their own self loathing! Usually a bully doesn’t like themselves !
At what age would you let your child if they identified as female wear make up to school? If it’s this age then my thoughts are explain the bullying fear to them and let them decide.
Maybe you should put hom in a self defence class frist!
Definitely talk about potential bullying. Let him start with just mascara outside of the house then after a while let him add eyeliner. Add new bolder things slowly so his peers get used to him wearing make-up. I think if he showed up suddenly wearing full goth make-up he would get teased a lot more than if he slowly works in to full make-up. You should also make sure what he wants to do is not going to break school rules.
Idk I didnt let my daughter wear makeup till 14.
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I was wearing makeup to school at 11 years old. My parents didn’t care. It is ultimately your decision what you allow your son to do outside of the home… But I would prepare him for possible bullies because because it is real. And if you allow him to wear them make up to school then tell him to start off small so It’s not a huge shock if he goes full face makeup to school one day. It will actually Test the waters to see if bullying We’ll be a huge issue
My son is 5 and always paints his nails when I do and even at his age kids still make comments to him asking if he’s a girl 
which makes him upset bc he loves it and thinks it looks pretty. Kids can be incredibly cruel which is so unfair
I think 12 is to young for anyone to wear makeup.
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Some schools have rules about any looks that would be distracting to other students, so check. Other than Jay, what everyone else said.
I wouldn’t let my boys wear make-up
Wait as long as you can tell him not til he is 16 yrs old Mothers always wait til that age it’s nothing new
Honestly talk to him let him know that yes he may or may not get bullied that people can or won’t be mean to him. Support him in what he wants to do. Take baby steps in him wearing make up. I personally haven’t had to experience this with any of my 4 kids yet. I would want my kids to know that I loved them no matter what and that they need to always love there self no matter what
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It’s surely against school rules so maybe go at it from that angle and suggest for social times only and take him shopping?
When my kid wouldn’t wash and stunk we did talk about bullies and it seemed to help
12 yrs old is to young for makeup
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Tell him the truth about what may happen but still encourage him to be himself and do what makes him happy…
Side note: badass job, how did you get into that?
At his age he has a circle of friends and they probably won’t be surprised by make up…your son sounds like he has self confidence…you might point out some things but I’m betting he can handle it!!! Just as long as there are no school rules against it…kids need their education now days not a lot of time fighting for rights!!
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Do not let him wear makeup. Unless you wanna set him up for years of bullying.
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I have some unique kids. I explain to them that society as a whole sucks. Explained to them that they can act and be a certain way at home and that’s fine. And when in social settings, act accordingly.
We all do it anyways, right? Put a smile on at work when really we hate our jobs. Use our fake customer service voice, etc.
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At 13, I’d let any child of mine to start with make up if that’s their interest.
For my son, I’d just sit him down, put down the boundaries(like eyes and lips fine…full foundation and contour…no…let your skin breath lol unless a special occasion. But rules are the same regardless of gender) and then I’d be frank that haters are gonna hate and probably hate HARD so to make sure he’s sure he wants to walk into that and deal with it.
But whatever his choice was, I’d respect it🤷.
But I don’t know if my son has been lucky thus far or not, but some of his stuff I thought for sure he’d get teased…and not a peep…so 
might surprise ya. Kids are more accepting these days I find. If not, then you just teach him how to navigate the haters…that’s all.
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This is beautiful, you’re a great mama! Maybe some slight makeup if possible? Hopefully any other kids that would feel a need to bully him would also feel like they could express themselves seeing that he did it. Sending love.
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Teach him about what hate crime is. Then let him decide.
I think he’s old enough to wear makeup if he was young girl at school they tend to wear makeup so shouldn’t be any different depending on the schools rules. I think maybe sitting him down explaining that not everyone Is non judgemental and that some people may be unkind to him he sounds like a bright young boy tbh so he probably understands already but I think giving him his freedom will help him choose as long as he knows the risks if that makes sense 
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Let him fully express himself Momma! I would explain what may or could happen! I did this with my daughter. She has her own unique style and I absolutely love how much more comfortable she has become with herself bc I embrace it too.
I have explained to her this world is evil and judgey but to be herself always! I will always advocate, support and stand up for my children. Our world needs more kindness and less hate!
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If the school rules allow makeup and hes confident enough to do his own thing…why not .
Prepare him for negative comments and bullying . Keep the makeup fairly light …for the sake of his skin…then let him be himself.
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I know my sister and her ex used to tell their one son (her step son) just remember that people will be mean and some mean things can be said about different choices he would make (he liked wearing girls clothes) and they’d just help me be aware to expect people to be mean to him about it.
Check with the school first
What age would you allow a daughter to wear makeup, if you had a daughter? Same rules should apply. If you would let your female child wear it at this age then let your son. Obviously still have a talk with him about bully’s. I wouldn’t stop him from expressing himself. If he likes it cool, if he decides he don’t cool.
12 to me is to young for make-up male or female but if you are ok with it at that age I would start by making sure it’s permitted in the school dress code. If it is I would then explain how mean and cruel people and kids can and will be at anything different from the stereotype and go from there.
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Are we talking eye liner or straight up full face? I didn’t wear a full face until my sophomore year of high school!
I’d let him give it a try. Explain the possibilities of course but let him give it a go. He may decide it is or isn’t for him. He’ll never know unless he tries. My daughter rocked her style and gave no cares what others thought. Confidence builds strong character. Got to let them learn to fly at some point.
My son is 6 and he likes to paint his finger nails and carry a purse. His dad absolutely hates it but to bad. He will paint his fingers and toes whenever and however he wants them done. He goes to school with them painted and he did say some of the boys in his class says it’s for girl but it doesn’t stop him from still doing it. His brother also picks on him but he gets yelled at for doing that.
I love that you support what he loves. In this world we live in, people will definitely have negative reactions to him wearing makeup. It’s not right, but it’s just how it is. You as his parent know him best. Can he handle the negative reactions? Can he handle his own, or will he be crushed? Have a talk with him about how he’ll handle the negativity. If you and he feel that he’ll be ok with it, then go for it.
I would discourage it and I would have a long talk why perhaps it’s because u look goth perhaps 
…and wants to be like u
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Some schools here don’t allow kids to wear makeup to school
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I vote explaining the pros and cons and let him decide. The most important thing developmentally is that he knows YOU have his back. And then he will be more apt to listen if you need to steer him toward adapting as challenges arise. Just my thoughts.
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Also, once he does it, there’s no take backs. These kids hang on to and don’t forget anything! A kid ate a booger in Kindergarten and even in 5th grade, he’s know as the boogie man. If he does decide to wear it, even one day to try out and doesn’t like it, he will most likely be reminded of it daily until graduation. Kids are HUGE a-holes.
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My little children whilst walking to school seen a teen lad in make up and I’m not gonna lie I was little worried of what they was gonna say with kids being kids but they turned looked at him and said you look stunning he had the biggest smile 
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I love that you support him❤️ As for his age, I think it’s up to you to decide what age you feel comfortable with him wearing make up to school. My oldest is 9 so I haven’t crossed that bridge with her yet. I think I was in 6th grade when I started wearing makeup to school, just mascara at that point. I think I started wearing eyeliner in 7th. It just comes down to what you feel is an appropriate age. As for the bullying, I would have an honest conversation with him about it so if/when you do make the choice he’s aware that not everyone is an accepting as others. It’s ridiculous that the world can be so cruel to those who don’t fit into the cookie cut mold of what they feel someone should be. As for this house hold, we love everyone for who they are, whatever that may look like❤️
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My 12 year old son wears makeup occasionally and wears skirts to school sometimes. He’s openly gay and fully believes people should wear anything that makes them feel good. I was worried he would get bullied and warned him how cruel people could be and he decided that he could handle it. We live in CA and honestly except for a few snarky remarks it hasn’t been an issue. He is confident and doesn’t care if people snark at him.
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I would just let him know. Just tell him people are mean and nasty and like to break you down to build themselves up. They’re just jealous, you’re beautiful and don’t let anyone bring you down. But you need to know it will happen. Let him know he’s loved everyday(as if I’m sure you totally don’t already 
) 
Check with school 1st
I would check with the school dress code. Some have sections about makeup. Ours is that they cant wear bright lipstick or eyeshadow in middle school. High school they don’t care. We have a few men in makeup in our high school and they are awesome. Not bullied or anything like that. They are awesome.
I would check with the schools policy on makeup. My school didn’t allow makeup until you hit high school. But he can definitely go for it if he’s allowed.
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He is just as likely to get bullied then as now. Let him choose.
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I teach 7/8 grade. Our dress code is pretty laid back so kids can be themselves. We have several kids that do them. In my school as long as it’s not “over the top” heavy makeup- which girls would be in trouble as well- as long as you talk to him about the *$$hole people I say let him rock himself!
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I think he is probably already aware of what the reaction of those in school.
We all want to protect our children from the world, but they have to step out there.
I would love to give you profound advice full of wise words.
It is obvious you support your son’s choice of how he wishes to live his life, so take the next step.
Be brave, like your son
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I love that he wants to express himself creatively and as a mom of 6 boys I would be behind him 100%… There are other things, bad things he could be doing, makeup is definitely the furthest from my mind as something worrisome.
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I’m sorry to say but that poor child is gonna get bullied for sure! Absolutely do NOT let HIM wear makeup to school or out in public…HE is only 12, boys don’t even mature enough to know what they really want or who they are. I don’t understand parents & society these days acting like this is normal & ok. But having lesbian parents at home, what kind of kids can we expect to come from that!!! Bring on the hate comments! I will always stand for what I believe & I believe you are either born a BOY or a GIRL - there is no changing that - I don’t care how you feel, what you think or want!!! Stop normalizing this behavior!
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I would say 13 is a good age to start the make up thing. I would also let him be him and just remind him F**k what anyone else thinks but make sure he is able to take the ignorant shit people are going to throw at him
I won’t let my 12yr old daughter wear make-up. I just think 12 is a bit too young outside the house.
Personally, let him try something simple and see what happens. 
If it’s a problem for him, have him wait and see. Or, explain he may have issues and get him in self defense classes. He doesn’t have to start a fight but he should be able to end one. 
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I didn’t let my kids wear makeup to school until they were 16, but each family is unique.
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Let him go. Just check in with him after school and ask how he is.
Coming from a small backwards town in Eastern KY, I’ll tell you this. He WILL get picked on. But… There are kids with same interests as him that will run in his pack.
With that being said, I would explain that people can be cruel and cold hearted and let him know that you are proud of him and support him in self expression
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Before anything check the school dress code you may have to fight that first.
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Does he have friends that are going to school with make up on or are there other kids wearing make up. Do you think he is strong enough to put up with the verbal abuse which could even become violent. Also what is the school policy on the matter.
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You already know what to do you said it give him all the relevant information an let him be him from a mother of 2 one 19 one 13 let them grow xx
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As a girl I started wearing makeup at 11 so let him go and just let him know he might be picked on or bullied for it
I love your support for him! I love that you’re doing everything possible to protect him, all while letting him be his true self. Good job, momma(s)!!
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I’ve raised 16 kids and I know bullying Ng can change a beautiful free spirited child into a insecure depressed mess. PLEASE tell your son how you support him in all thi ngs but for his safety and happiness he has to realize that there are insecure people who would use him to make themselves feel better or to impress their peers . It’s his choice, but protect him from life’s meaness eh le you can.
.
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You’re right- he will be picked on. I think you should wait until 14-15 years old. That way, he can decide. At his current age, he may not understand the depths of bullying and what it could do to him. I would absolutely hate it to change his personality and who he is being bullied the way kids will do. And that could totally change him forever. Plus, at 14 or 15 he may not even want that anymore.
Does the school have a policy against makeup? That’s the only thing I’d be most concerned about.
Be just as honest with him as he is with you. Give him all the facts and let him make his decision and keep standing by him 100%
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I think you should definitely inform him that some kids and even adults won’t like it. They might be mean to you and say whatever hurtful things… then let him make the choice… my son wanted his ears peirced a few yrs ago and I let him after him asking me for a couple yrs. But I told gim some people won’t like it, he also wanted his nails painted once ( blue bc I had mine painted) our kids want to do what we see as fun!
My 13 year old recently came out as gay, and we live in a fairly narrow minded/small town mentality type place. I have spoken candidly with him about the ways others may react or have reacted, but I let him choose how he wants to express himself. Rainbow clothes? Painted fingernails? Etc.?? 100% his choice… I just make sure he’s aware that some people will be bothered by it and let him know that it’s THEIR issue,not his, and that the people who matter will love him and support him no matter his sexuality. That’s all we can do, really. Let them make their own choices, but make sure they’re informed choices.
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Girl let him be himself. Prepare him for what could come but support him. We are mom’s and we will always worry but we can’t hold them back bc of other people. My 5 babies are all different and I’ve tried to always support them all. Ages 25 to 6 and lord the boys are way more dramatic than the girls. Lol.
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That is so hard to answer in this world kids are cruel. I am bi and I lived in a tiny tiny town and had a girlfriend in high-school literally everyone made fun of me even one guy who I knew for a fact was gay didn’t make any sense to me. But my mom let me express myself and I didn’t care what they thought. So if he has a strong willed nature and can handle it I would let him but like others have said check in on him because the constant bullying could be to much and no one deserves that.
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If your in the midwest it wont matter what age he is he will be bullied. You know him best and if he can handle the bullying that will happen. Discuss it with him and ask if hes sure hes ready. If he agrees then id let him. Also do check ins often to see if he is getting bullied and how he is coping with it.
Have the open and honest talk with him
About all pros and cons, but we must also encourage him to make his own choice. Sometimes depending on school they have supposed groups for didn’t interests and that tends to help reduce stigmas and bullying , when we normalize uniqueness!
That is one blessed child to have such open minded parents!
If you have to ask, then you already know it’s wrong
I have a 10 year old daughter (11 in 2 months…also midwest, WI)…makeup is a no go… at home yes. Out with the family…ok. at school. Absolutely not
I agree that you should let him fully be himself. However, at 12 I would maybe let him have some “starter products”. Like maybe just mascara and lip gloss, until he is a little older. My daughter started with just a being allowed to wear mascara and lip gloss out of the house. And then maybe he can just have makeup that he can experiment with at home.
You sound like you all are doing a great job. God bless your family.
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If you’ve sat down and really discussed his request to wear make up… pros & cons… also why he wants to, … then let him make his choice.
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We didnt let our daughters wear make up to school until they were 15, I wouldnt let my son do it until then if he wanted to.
I do however think you should still have the bulling talk with him because regardless a guy will be bullied for wearing make up anywhere, just like girls can too!
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Don’t stop him let him be his self you don’t want him to feel it’s wrong, just let him know the relevant info needed xxx
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Let him express himself and be who he wants
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I think first of all you should check the rules at his school. If they don’t allow makeup on anyone he won’t be able to do so xx but if allowed he’ll just have to hold his head high and ignore the haters. Everyone is bullied at some point or another, for whatever reason. It’s the way you deal with it that counts.
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Explain what could happen and let him decide.
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Tell him exactly what you told us
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If your son isn’t worried about what others think, let him experiment. Buy him his own makeup and teach him the proper techniques, as well as proper cleaning hygiene to avoid breakouts. If his school is less than accepting of who he is, is it the right school? School choice is now an option for a reason. Make sure your son has the best opportunity to be himself in the best environment.
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I would sit him down and explain the consequences of bulling. Then i would allow a little make like mascara and lip gloss, until he is a little older to wear more
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and I want to say the more goth/punk Boys would wear makeup about 7th grade and up. More commonly hs. None of us batted an eye
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I wouldn’t let my 12-13 year old wear make-up to school, regardless of identity. Kids shouldn’t be worrying about make-up at a young age.
At 12 hes fully aware of how bullies are…and they’ve gotten 10 thousand lectures at school about it by 12. Kudos to him for not giving a shit what people think cuz let’s be honest people suck. I personally started mine w mascara at 12. By 13 we added eyeliner.
I was not allowed to wear makeup at 12. Maybe lip gloss.
Boy or girl I won’t let them wear make up out until 15. I have a 15 yr old son and he paints his nails, goes to school and what he told me was that some teens asked him why and he just told him cuz he wants to. I also have a 7 yr old daughter who has kids make up and she only wears it at home. I’d suggest let him know about some people may try to bully him but he just needs to know they don’t matter but I’d wait until he’s a little older.
My son when he was 8 liked nail polish. I also have 2 daughters. So they would all pain their nails. I had no problem with it. The first time he wanted to wear nail polish to school, we explained to him how gender stereotypes were huge in previous generations, but we are getting passed that now that more people are realizing there are no boy or girl things. If YOU like it it’s YOUR thing. But I explained that not everyone is teaching their kids that way so he could come across some bullying. I let him decide if he was ready to deal with that. I told him there is nothing wrong with wearing nail polish and he should always be himself, he just needs to know that closed minded people will always have something to say, even if it wasn’t nail polish and it was soccer vs baseball and if he feels he can let comments role off his shoulder then he should do what he wants.
He wore it to school. He got some teasing but he handled it like a champ and it didn’t break him. I think it made him stronger because he knew we backed him and accepted him. He has stopped wearing nail polish and isn’t into it anymore, but I think him knowing WE accept him helped with the bullies.
I am a 60 year old retired public school teacher. When my son was in middle school (20 years ago) before Mohawks were cool , before it was cool to dye your hair pink ,purple,blue. Liberty spikes weren’t in style. I believe in individual expression and our household was very into individualism. I believe he has grown up to be a very talented, individual, self expressed adult. I do believe there will be no problems with your son expressing himself. Kids these days are very accepting of individuality and self expression. I was a high school teacher until 3 years ago. I never heard any bullying, making fun of others because they had learning problems , transgendered etc. Children are growing up in a new normal of acceptance.
Not sure the world around you is ready for that. But he could go suttle with eye liner. He could go and have a manicure and have his nails done in clear polish if he has the need to feel feminine. Try brushing his eyebrows with eyebrow pencils. Little unknown stuff to give him the ‘girlie’ feel.
I would say have the conversation about bullying with him and then let him make an informed choice at that point on if he wants to wait or still give it a shot!
Honestly I would talk to him and warn him about the possibility of being bullied or targeted but remind him that he is his own person and not to let what others say bother him. My son is 16 and went from a country type (cowboy boots, etc) to wearing black nail polish and Jordans… He is at the age when he is trying to figure out who he is… Just love and support him.
I say it’s whatever you feel most comfortable allowing at that age. Maybe do a trial run and see what he wants to wear and y’all make a fun weekend of it, out and about. So you will both be on new ground and allowing him an opportunity to see how he feels with it out in public before he goes to school with it?
As a parent that supports my children in every way possible I would inform him of the things that are going to be thrown in his direction tell him to stay positive and proud and support him the right friends will come his way
I want to start by saying that you are a fantastic mom. I love that your son is able to be open & honest.
I would sit him down & be open & honest with him. Tell him how you feel as a mom. What your worries are. Then if he still wants to wear it, get him some makeup & help him find his look. Good luck to you & your son!
Wow!! Interesting!! Boy + makeup does NOT = transgender or feminine. Lil stereotyping going on here.
You may be surprised at other kids responses. It’s a lot more common than it used to be. I would let him give it a try and see what happens and talk to him when he gets home.
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For the love of Humankind! Please tell me that someone is raising a MAN! 