Not a mom, but a former IEP kid. They’re horrible on a kid mentally as well. It’s like telling the kid they aren’t good enough or smart enough to study with the other kids. You need to get down on their level, and make sure they understand it isn’t that at all. They just learn differently. Maybe see about non traditional like online classes. I was reading at a college level, despite being in IEP, and they’re bright idea was to give me an IEP English class. The teacher even protested it saying it would stunt my education. The school system itself doesn’t care. If you feel they’re fighting you too much or being too lax demand an educational lawyer. They do exist. Demanding one saved my autistic and with severe social anxiety little brother from being forced into classrooms of 30+ kids in the “challenged” kids school. The school system’s reason… “he needs his headphones to stay calm and we don’t allow it even in IEP classes” My brother tested out of 7th through 9th at 14! He wasn’t stupid. For your kids sake make sure you don’t settle or agree to try some half plan. Demand all or go homeschooling. Your kids will thank you for it someday. As for your job. Be the change you want to see. Push for the care for your students that you expect for your children. Empower the parents to fight for it too.