My daughter is nine months old and barely started eating real solid foods about two weeks ago. She still eats baby food, but we’ve recently started giving her scrambled eggs etc. When my husband feeds her baby food or eggs, he gives her a huge spoonfuls of food. So much it makes her cheeks big with the amount of food she has in there. I hate that he feeds her that way, and I’ve asked him to stop giving her such big bites. She only has two bottom teeth. He says she enjoys having a full mouth of food, and she’s getting the hang of it just fine. When I ask him to stop, he says he will give her smaller amounts, but after a while goes back to the same amount. She does ok with the spoonfuls he gives, I guess…but she does gag a few times while he’s feeding her too. Am I a paranoid first-time mom? Should I leave it alone and just respect his different parenting styles? Or is it something I should put my foot down and make a bigger stink about it? I want to add he’s a very involved dad and puts in the same amount of effort taking care of her as I do. So I trust his judgment on everything with her. It’s just this one thing I feel like I’m constantly biting my tongue. My fear is choking and that she doesn’t like having that much food in there. I don’t think I would enjoy a mouthful of that much food myself.
Explain your fears to him.
I agree with you … she will end up choking if she has too much food in her mouth x
Put your foot down
You don’t want your child to choke
Um no absolutely not that’s a choking hazard I wouldn’t be letting him feed her if he can’t understand that
Tell him about the dangers…if he is a concerned Dad he will listen…if he dosen’t…don’t let him feed her…
Please talk to him that’s not good for a baby to be fed like that. Small amounts so she can learn to chew her food up.
She is going to choke, and he is teaching her bad habits
Not only choking, child hood obesity.Explain your fears ,ask the family doctor to speak to him.Let him Google over feeding in infants as well as nutrition and how children can choke
Take him to a infant CPR class. They will show examples and hell be trained for.his mistakes. Call him out discreetly during the class to by asking the instructor questions about sizes of food etc.
Two thoughts. First at 9 months old she could be “learning” to feed herself. She would enjoy the social activity of eating with mom and dad. Two a full mouth of food is hard to handle for anyone must less a baby. Right now is the time to begin teaching her table manners. Just a thought from a Grammy😊
Tell him you will feed her until he agrees not to give her such big mouthfuls of food. That’s it, no negotiating.
It’s great that he’s a great dad. And it’s great that he wants to feed her. Maybe make an extra doctors appointment with the pediatrician and just bring it up as a concern in front of him so they can explain better, some times it’s nice when someone other than a spouse can put in some knowledgeable input
Is he using a baby spoon? Baby spoons are super small so that we dont accidentally give them big bites. If he isnt maybe get some to help? I cant imagine a baby spoon being able to physically hold a huge amount
Is he trying to hurry up and get finished feeding her? If he doesn’t have the patience and is just trying to rush without considering what is best and safer for baby, maybe mom should feed her.
Have your peditrician explain it to him immediately!! It sounds like hes rushing to get done instead of doing what is best for her!
I hope he knows the heimlich
Having the pediatrician explain it is the absolute best opinion because then he hears it from a professional. Or you could send him links from the internet on how to feed her. What matters is that he hears it from more than just you not that he doesnt value your opinion but because he may think you are being overprotective. A lot of dads feel that way about moms. However you are not being over protective if she is gagging. Infant CPR classes are a good idea too. I personally feel every parent should have to take an infant CPR class anyways.
This sight is just posting stupid stuff.
My ex used to do that. It drove me nuts too. My kid is now 10 n still freakin does it. She can eat a whole boiled egg at once!
I think everyone is freaking out a bit too much. My boy loves taking big bites, and has since he started eating the baby food. Yeah, it stresses me out sometimes because I’m just like “That’s too much!”
The gagging is part of the process, small bites or big bites, they have to learn how to control where the bite is in their mouth and how to properly chew and swallow. In other words, it’s okay in my opinion. Most times it’s just caused by how they swallow, not how much they try to swallow.
Again, it’s a learning process, the size of his bites sound fine. Babies are smart enough to refuse something if they dont like it, including too big of a bite. (My son spits stuff out if he over-does it.)
Iam sure you are making it sound worse then it is Iam sure he is not planning on killing his child . Grow up.
Your baby shouldn’t be gagging on food
That is something you need to put your foot down about feeding her big bites like that is a choking hazard and he needs to understand that
Do a record video something like a memories Video and tell him that is for her when she grow …and then show it to someone else you trust …sometimes as a mother we tend to be so scare on the minimum things that happens to our little ones a second or third opinion will help … and if there is a problem there change the feeding métodos …like egg I smashed and let my baby grab it w his fingers and enjoy whatever he can bring to his mouth …tell him is a sensorial learning .
Why ask? If you’re concerned, absolutely!!! Choking could kill her.
Choking hazard for sure. If she inhales the food she could aspirate and 911 might not arrive fast enough.
Provide a smaller spoon and smaller portions.
I have to laugh at some of these comments. My kids all enjoy big bites, majority of the time they are yelling cause the bite isnt big enough. Baby food is pretty much liquid. I dont see a huge deal here. Its human instinct to eat and chew (mash) in their mouth. Idk… maybe me and my kids are a different breed… the only thing my kids ever choked on was a cheerio and it was 1 out of 4 that did.
Definitely teaching bad habits. I’m still trying to break my 5 year old of stuffing so much in his mouth at once. It’s bad table manners when they get older. So I made sure to not allow my now 18 month old to start shoveling in that much food at once bc I see how the habit of doing it stayed with her big brother
If you cant communicate with him about your child you share then you need to seek help professionally because your relationship is doomed.
She could choke, that happened to my nephew and then he refused to eat table food untill he was almost 3 yrs old and even then he was real picky.
Most of it they had to puree to get him to eat.
Smaller spoons! That’s great that dad is willing to help. Let him have his time to learn. It’s hard! But it’s good for them too!
Change the spoon size and you can be too over protective, it comes with being a first time mom. First you say should you speak with him and then say you did, if this is normal for you, cut it out. Stop with the flipping sides it’s confusing for everyone. You don’t know if your daughter doesn’t like the big spoons, and you’re projecting your feelings onto her. Till she’s old enough to speak and know her mind, don’t assume for her. Kids choke on food at times, we do it as adults even, take a first aid course and be prepared. Better yet take dad too. Sometimes things like that speak louder than the word. Buy smaller spoons just for HER and start teaching her to feed herself. Finger food is great to start, scrambled eggs are good also. Make sure it’s soft and cut bite size for her, not too small, she can choke on that also. <3 Good Luck.
I wud say something. She cud choke n not good eating habits to teach her so young.
No you’re not wrong. On baby 3 and I’m still just as paranoid. That’s a choking hazard and you should put a stop to that.
Makes me wonder what else you’ll let him do to cause possible harm to the child.
Didn’t you have any better question to ask if your child didn’t like it she wouldn’t be opening her mouth for more
Could lead to an eating disorder. She will want more than she needs
Learn the heimlich for babies, that way you can stop worrying about choking which is harder than it seems. Let the man do what he does. When your child is tired she will eventually spit everything back out and all over him. Don’t be petty with your husband either. If you buy baby spoons which would have been my first move, instead of griping and whining about how you had to get special spoons so he doesn’t kill your kid, say something like hey I got our child some new spoons that have this character on them or are bright colors so they’ll like eating more.
It’s a health concern tell him or you feed her
Let her start feeding herself helps her developement
My hubby feed our kid taco meat at 6 months…I just laughed and said Dad…Let him learn the hard way…
I do agree with the comment about the Pediatrician. Call the doc and tell her/him about your concerns. Let your husband know ahead of time that you are so concerned that you want to call to make sure it’s safe. If he reacts angrily then this should be a cause of concern about any future agreements you make about how to handle things with your daughter. Anyways, the pediatrician can make the decision about the amount of food and take this out of your hands. If he’s going to do whatever he wants no matter what, then you have much more to consider besides this issue.
I would just.tell your husband I would prefer.it.if I fed.her.he can give her her.bottle.but.youd rather.feed her.her.food if theres an arguement just calmly.say no I’d rather.feed.hermthank u
Perhaps take him with you to her next doctor visit and ask casually about the recent introduction of solid foods and what quantities should be given at a time. See how the pediatrician responds and he can hear a professional opinion. That can put you at ease and help him adjust the feeding if necessary
Smaller spoons and allow her to feed herself when it comes to eggs and soft small bite size pieces.
Have her feed herself. Its good for her anyway for motor and texture.
Ps…dont bite your tongue. Tell him!
My daughter is 2, feeds herself, and still will sometimes choke from taking too big of bites. I would make more of a point of getting him to give her smaller bites. Better safe than sorry!
Yes definitely say something
Put that food right on her tray and let her feed herself! I barely ever fed my kids with spoons until they were ready to learn. Makes a HUGE mess, but they learn to use their pinchers and it’s good mobility practise for them!
You should just let her feed herself no need to spoon feed
Speak up. Make him listen.
Join a baby led weaning group here on Facebook. My 7 month old only has two teeth but works on everything. Also… Babies are supposed to gag. They have a sensitive gag reflex which prevents them from choking. It will be ok.
Have her feed herself with the baby spoons you can get at the store
He’s not going to kill her so you can definitely work this out. I think she can try feeding herself with her hands. It’s a good way to build her motor skills.
Unless the scrambled eggs are the harder scrambled eggs, I see no problem with it. If they are made the right way, they are creamy, so really just like baby food. Shes 9 months old, give her some room to learn to eat real food. My son was eating pizza by then He ate table food real young, he barely ate baby food. That shit is nasty AF.
Well maybe he is waiting for her to chock
Let her pick it up and eat it herself, good for motor skills and she can make her own judgement about how much food to have, she has to learn at some point. We did this with our daughter and gave her silverware at about 18 months, she’s 2 n a half now and she does great with portion control and using the silverware
Speak up if you have to. But believe me, when she starts feeding herself you will be shocked by how much food she can and will shove in her mouth at one time. Kids need to learn this on their own. Also gagging is a very normal reaction, and happens often.
Talk your fears over with your baby’s doctor and have your husband tag along
He teaching her to be a glutton
Is he giving big bites because he’s in a hurry and just wants to be done with the task? Having her eat too fast will make her just as sick as eating too much. Tell him to slow down and give smaller bites, or don’t let him feed her. She’s going to end up choking, and it will be his fault.
Just leave him alone, be happy he’s actually feeding her and not making you do everything. He’s her parent also, so hes gonna do it how you sees fit. My daughter feeds herself and still will choke on the SMALLEST bite of food. If she didn’t want all that food in her mouth she’d spit it out. When my daughter was done eating or if she had too much food, that’s how I knew she was done or had too much, she’d spit it out.
Kinda ignorant that he continues to do that to the point that she gags. Thats strange and would make me uncomfortable:confused: i would take a more agressive approach on it because im sure he wouldnt like being fed so much he gagged. And if you see that you should stop it. I agree with everyone else and letting her feed herself. Cant be a good feeling to be made to eat so much you gag!
He is doing fine. If she isnt choking she is fine. Let her feed herself food as it will not only be good development wise but also sensory wise.
If my son takes to big of a bite he pulls it out.
Shes fine. Stop over reacting. Atleast he feeds her.
Yes, I would make a big deal. If it’s not safe then it’s not safe. If he’s not gonna be patient then don’t have him do it.
If she couldn’t handle it she would spit it out or choke, in which case obviously he’d stop. But if she’s doing fine and enjoys it and doesn’t fuss about it let it be. Pick your battles, Im a FTM too, but I have 2 step children. I always used to nitpick at the way my husband did things, but my baby was always just fine. I had to be in control of everything, otherwise I was a nervous wreck. She sounds like she’s fine, I would let it go. Be happy he’s participating too!
Let her feed herself the foods she can and use designated spoons for the rest. Easy peasy. Choose your battles wisely Mama. You have a long way to go.
You should be grateful that hes actually feeding her where i noticed my 20 month olds father wasnt even feeding her even if she did give huge hints that she was hungry so i ended up having to say something to him. She might like the way you feed her and she also might like the way he feeds her you both are going to parent differently in some aspects
Cut them up and let her feed herself. No need to spoon feed a 9 month old soft foods.
Some of these questions
Maybe suggest just putting the eggs onto her tray in small enough size bites and let her do it herself. My son would never let me feed him we tried with baby food for only a couple weeks before I realized he wasn’t having me spoon feeding him and I just let him use his hands and he didn’t totally fine at that same age.
At this age I give my little a spoon an let them play try to figure it out and finger foods I do give bites but small bites baby’s can choke if she’s gaging she needs smaller bites
Your fears are valid just encourage smaller bites and know baby Heimlich just in case
Teaching her to stuff food in her mouth will become normality after a while. He needs to stop this!.. and as other’s have said she can learn to try feeding herself. Might be messy but hey that’s part of learning.
Just let her feed herself. Problem solved.
Uh she’s 9 month old not even a year yet she’s supposed to be getting little bites and very small portions like. You need to put down your foot and tell him he can’t do that, especially if she’s gagging that’s a clear indicator that he’s giving her too much.
Your her mother . You should always speak up for your daughter even in this type of situation.
Gagging means too much food… Throw a massive fit. Ex used to do that, used dumb excuses, told him he was gonna kill our kid if he didn’t stop. He learned after she choked and 911 had to be called because we couldn’t get it out immediately.
Let it be they are both learning and too many fathers are not involved with their children. When he is feeding her enjoy yourself a hot cup of tea and relax for the time you are not on baby duty.
Everyone who is posting here is totally GREAT with their advice!! And they are all pretty much in agreement also. Yes letting her begin to feed herself is an excellant idea. Just keep an eye out when dad feeds her, but just calmly remind him to maybe make the spoonfuls an itsy bitsy less. Its great he helps out but dont let him insist on having his smug, i know more than a mother attitude about anything!! Nip it in the bud now.
Sad people have to post stuff like this and can’t just communicate with their partner about it.
Put your foot down he is putting way too much in her mouth if she’s gagging from it she can also choke from it so you need to look him in the eyes and say baby do you want your daughter to choke and die from eating big mouthfuls of food maybe he’ll think twice about it and feed her lesser bites of food… babies with only two teeth of their mouth can’t chew up food as good as we can who have teeth or even adults without teeth can chew better food than a baby can
Try baby led weaning or combo between the 2. It’s good for baby to learn to feed themselves too. Plus let daddy figure out stuff for himself. It’s fine. Let go a little bit. I say this as I try to control everything too much and it gave me great anxiety.
Omg…you’re the mom…get a back bone or your daughter will probably choke to death
OMG I’m surprised half the responses aren’t kick him out or leave him!
realistically, he may be causing a food aversion.
If she’s gagging at all then no she’s not ok and does not enjoy it. But he could also be feeding her too quickly too. He either needs to slow down or feed smaller spoonfuls or just stop. That’s dangerous. She could choke or inhale food.
Well if she doesn’t like that much she will spit some out. Babies cant be force fed.
Back off and let him feed her just how he is. You’re nagging and it’s stupid.
You can’t sit there and say " You trust his judgment as a dad" and then write a post how you do not trust him feeding her.
ITS HIS BABY TOO!
She hasn’t had a bad accident with the feeding so what’s the problem???
Seems You are the problem. Not dad feeding the baby.
I’m curious about what spoons are being used. If it’s regular adult sized spoons or the little baby ones. I remember having baby spoons that you could barely get anything on because they were small and super shallow.
I’m thinking maybe find some of those to use as an example of what an appropriate bite size is for a baby.
Don’t let him feed her. Let him do something else that you might be doing & you feed her or if she is old enough let her feed herself… He is teaching her to fill her mouth with lg. amounts of food instead of normal amounts & could lead to maybe chocking to death…
He is just too lazy to take it slow when feeding her.
If she’s gagging it’s not ok. Take him with you to the next pedi appt and have him ask this question.
Not only is it a choking hazard but I’ve heard over filling your mouth can lead to over eating habits
Let her feed herself shes capable look into baby led weaning its the best thing we’ve done. Our 7 month eats everything the rest of the family eats with the exception of anything containing honey
Well first of all nine months old is too early to be feeding babies solid food anyway. They have baby cereal they have all kind of other things for… Babies so I don’t know what else to say