The other night I got up to get a glass of water. My husband was still in the living room playing video games; I do not mind because he does a lot for our family. The issue is, I asked him who he was playing with, and he just said “some random guy,” but he acted weird when he said it, and I feel like he was lying. The next day he was at work, I checked his friends on his games, and it was definitely a girl gamer tag. Why would my husband feel the need to lie about this? Should I confront him?
75 Likes
Has it been a previous issue? I’d bring it up and ask why he felt the need to lie. If you’ve had jealousy problems in the past, he could be trying to just avoid a conflict. I’ma gamer wife and my husband is a gamer as well, because we BOTH game I don’t feel weird about it but he also wouldn’t lie to me because that’s a whole other can of worms.
I’d ask him why he thought lying to you was okay and why he felt the urge to lie in the first place.
25 Likes
He lied for a reason
13 Likes
If you’re married then yes I’d be concerned as well
1 Like
You should definitely confront him… as said above he lied for a reason xx
1 Like
I’d confront him about lying heck yes! Ask why he felt the need to lie.
4 Likes
The lying would piss me off there’s something not right there he’s hiding something
7 Likes
Probably because of this reaction
18 Likes
I can’t be the only one who wouldn’t give a shit lol… keep playing ya game boo… I got the bed to myself 
Take this down to its simplest form - when we learn to lie as children, what is the purpose? We lie to keep ourselves out of trouble. Your husband was doing something he was afraid to get into trouble for. He either did it to protect your feelings or to avoid conflict. I don’t know how you feel about the act, maybe it wouldn’t bother you at all. Maybe it would bother you too much. That’s between you and your husband. But make sure that your expectation about gaming with ladies and telling the truth is clearly known to him, what the consequences are, and stick to your plan.
6 Likes
Me and my husband both like to play video games in our spare time and he has a couple gamer girls he plays with which doesnt worry me at all but the lying dont sit right with me. I would just ask why he lied about it. Is it possible you can listen to the conversation or what he is saying because I can normally pick up exactly what my husband talks about with his friends just by listening to him for a minute. Does he say anything triggering? Idk I’d definitely ask though.
1 Like
Maybe because he knew you would overreact? I don’t see how this is an issue
13 Likes
Lord child your making a mountain out of a mole hill. Which is why he probably lied in the first place. Who cares who he plays the game with? If u trust and love him it shouldn’t be a issue. The fact u had to go a check behind him is the real issue!
14 Likes
you do realize that most of them are not near u unless u personally know them right ? I used to flip on my husband for this only he dint lie nor tell me or try to hide it but still i felt like a idiot because none of them are near him and like i said he dont try to hide anything either but he explains to me about it alot of games u need people to play with n the good ones male or female are good to always play with 
and he showed me what he meant so idk id ask him before snappin on him like i said i felt like a crazy person lmao
Married or not the only female needs to be playing video games with is you the only female he needs to talk to is you the only one he needs to spend time with is you there is no reason he should be looking texting talking playing or anything with another girl the only one he should be doing that with is you is show him your not going to put up with that and tighten the rope give him no breathing room he has to answer his phone in front of you he has to show you who he’s texting he has to give you his phone and let you decide who he is allowed to speak to and he has to ask your permission to give out his number he has to give you all of his account info and he has to watch you decide who he can be friends with you should delete all females unless there blood related he has allow you to read all his messages you get to hold his phone and you decide when he uses it you decide when he can go online he has to give you every thing he has a passcode to you get to change it and put in a code only you know he doesn’t get to know the code he doesn’t get to answer any text phone calls or social message unless approved by you you have to go every where with him he goes out with friends you go with the first time he says you tell him he’s not going then he has no space no privacy nothing
24 Likes
It also does not mean that it is a female. It’s just a gamer name. I named my bf for his and my boys have random names - a whole family could be playing under that same name
2 Likes
Confront him yes, because this is something that is bothering you, but don’t talk at him, express you’re feelings in a calm relaxed manner. You don’t want to fight, you want to discuss. I would be upset he lied, and when feeling like something wasn’t right I would have done the same thing. But you need to make sure you tell him that he doesn’t need to lie to you about things.
Regardless even if it was something more, he isn’t going to tell you. It’s going to turn into a fight because he’s going to get defensive about the situation.
3 Likes
Because he knew you’d act like this😂
2 Likes
don’t say anything and next time listen to the way he talks to them.
1 Like
Probably didn’t say anything cuz he thought you would overreact. It’s just a game
2 Likes
Probably because he was afraid of you over reacting. The fact that you went through his gaming console to find out who he’s playing video games with is a bit much. It’s video games. He’s not sleeping with these people. He’s playing video games with them. Confronting him about having whooped through his console is just going to start a pointless argument. I’d let it go and get over it.
4 Likes
I wouldn’t over react,but just ask him why he felt the need to lie and show him there is no reason for him to lie again.It is just gaming and maybe try to get involved with his hobby.
Had a last boyfriend play an online game with a girl.
Turns out they exchanged phone numbers and were talking.
And definitely doing things behind my back.
So the people who say that you need to chill have obviously never been in that spot.
Call him out on it
16 Likes
How are you going to confront him when you have broken his trust by going on his account to look at who he talks too 
. If you are that worried then wait till he’s in party with them again and see how he is with you in the room. I’m a gamer and it pisses me off when gf get all weird about me being in party with them and throws off the balance of the game and communication when playing as a team. We are not after your partners we just want a good team and to win 
3 Likes
My husband plays under my name all the time, bc I am at stay at home mom and I have the freedom to play on the systems… There for my scores are much higher than my husband’s profile.
5 Likes
Seriously? It’s a damn video game he plays in the living room of all places where there is literally no privacy 
if you’re that insecure over some random chick on a video game then you need to ask yourself why cause seriously most people don’t even live close to the other person they playing the game with honestly.
Are you sure it was a girl tho? Gamer tags are usually non gender specific and the person likely made ir when they were 10 and doesnt wanna pay to change it.
2 Likes
Well… I play call of duty and I play with a lot of dudes… My fiancé plays a few games on ps4 and he plays with a few girls. He probably didn’t feel comfortable telling you because he figured you’d get mad (I’d assume that considering your post). Sounds to me like the real issue here is trust. Maybe you two have some other issues whatever it may be that you need to work on to solve your insecurities. As a female, I do get it. But as a gamer, I also get his side (the very little we know).
12 Likes
My hubby has girl gamer friends ! I don’t mind it’s just a game
7 Likes
I agree he should not have lied but that doesnt really mean anything frfr
And that means a lot coming from me as someone thats been cheated on with some dumb bitch on xbox in another state:upside_down_face:
But fr i dont think its really a problem just ask him again and if he lies call him out and ask why hes lying
Though i also agree yall are married and should trust each other and you shouldnt have felt the need to check unless there are other issues we dont know about
Yea watch out for that. Affairs can and will start that way. I know first hand unfortunately. Ask him about it again. If there’s nothing to hide he shouldn’t be lieing about it.
As one of the above comments… I had an ex screw around in games and then I also met my husband in a game… until u deal with that sort of thing first hand u dont know what it’s like.
Calm conversation is key here. I’d just ask point blank about it. Try not to accuse… the minute someone feels threatened they tend to lash out and it gets messy…
5 Likes
Me and my ex were both gamers. I was insecure for awhile because of past experiences and I would get jealous with him and his girlfriends. He did play off playing with girls saying he wasn’t but i know for a fact he did that because of my issues and wanted to avoid my wrath lol I would let it go honestly.
You should trust him! What meens a Game? Nothing!
If you can confirm he lied and it is a girl. Lying isn’t cool. But if he did lie is it because he was doing something wrong or just wanted to avoid an argument because he felt you wouldn’t understand. Those are 2 different types of things and need to be addressed differently.
4 Likes
Well, if you’re feeling jealous, play with them. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind wanting to add you to his games. Otherwise, just ask him. No need to dwell over it and let your mind wander into things that most likely aren’t there.
You went behind his back and looked when maybe it really wasn’t anything… hang out with him while he plays? If my man, kids, or I are playing games we sit together and all play or take turns or whatever. If the kids are at their dad’s house then me and my man will sit there and hang out while the other is playing.
If it wasn’t anything and he knows you looked it shows there’s no trust… Which can also cause issues… Has he done anything like this or worse? Is there a reason from the past why you feel this way?
2 Likes
That’s how my husband was cheating on me. Chatting on the game site with a co worker.
2 Likes
My husband plays online with other female gamers often… I appreciate alot of the advice they give him regarding our relationship tbh lol if she’s a true gamer chick she’s got your back… He wouldn’t do all that he does for your family (or be friends with her online), if there was anything else going on lol
7 Likes
I literally REQUIRE this to be satire
3 Likes
A woman knows when something is off. Some of the comments on here… all I have to say is nothing good comes of secrets or withholding information. If it was another girl, he didn’t tell you and lied, it was because he was uncomfortable, and knew his actions would be cause for concern.
Was it one of those games they are on camera and live video playing along?
Wish you the best of luck and that the two of you can be responsive to each others needs and strengthen communication. Prayers.
9 Likes
My boyfriend plays on my Xbox account sometimes… And my GT is FaalDovahQueen… so it could have been a guy he was playing with… you legit NEVER know. I would just talk to him about it. Do not go behind his back and don’t take trust away if there is no reason to.
3 Likes
People say it’s just a game. No, it’s more than that. He could be turned on by a gamer who is a chick. He could be fantasizing about her. My ex had an obsession with gamer chicks as well as chicks dressed in anime and chick nerds who wore glasses. Talking to a chick far away could mean cheating as well. A woman who was engaged to another woman was talking to my ex. I read the messages over Instagram. He said he wished he could marry me and her. I ended up messaging the cheater chick’s fiancé and thankfully they didn’t get married. Some guys play video games to get away from reality because they have issues that they don’t deal with. I’ve had two ex’s who did this to me and would ignore me while I paid for their games (I didn’t consciously know this at the time) and did everything while they sat and did nothing. My answer is: if you don’t like something about someone, leave. Don’t try to change someone because it will never work out. Do not get in a relationship when the person doesn’t even recognize their flaws and don’t work on them. Don’t expect them to do anything. Don’t expect someone to tell you the truth either. These days are not the times to get into relationships, honestly. Self respect is more valuable. Love is not abuse and many people abuse each other these days. If someone lies, take it very seriously no matter the situation.
12 Likes
A lot are saying “its just a game” but then alot are saying thats how they got cheated on. She has every right to be concerned, stuff can happen any way & anytime. My husband plays games & i know all the guys he plays with but they don’t play with any females, depending on the situation i might have an issuse with it just like this lady, shes just tryna go about this in a nice way & its probably about the fact he hid it if it is for real a chick because why would you lie unless you have something to hide? Im sure hes not scared she’ll get mad cause if she was that “crazy” she would have flipped her shit immediately but didn’t. She’s coming to us to tell her how to go about it cause shes concerned & she has the right to be if thats how she feels! On that note just ask him & say you wasn’t sure but if he is youd just like to know those things when they happen from now on🤷
You have every right to be upset he lied to you… definitely talk with him and see why he felt the need to lie.
1 Like
Talk to him first instead of assuming? Lying isn’t cool but what if it was a guy playing with his wife’s username?
6 Likes
My daughter is usually the only girl when she plays her games. He probably thought you’d get mad.
1 Like
As a female gamer guys make up girl gamer tags all the time.
6 Likes
My husband plays on my account, so it could be a guy. And there are so many guys with girl gamer IDs to troll people.
3 Likes
Me and my husband both game. He games with girls sometimes I game with guys.
You clearly have some trust issues in you’re relationship if your worried that’s he’s gaming with another girl. Xx
6 Likes
I would ask him about why he lied, I have had issue with my ex husband cheating through chat and then escalated to facebook and phone you are not delusional and people do it.
6 Likes
Be careful who you take advice from because a lot of these bitches are the same kind of bitches that would participate and fuck around knowing about you also 
I’d like to if you freaked out like this. Gamers are girls or boys .doesn’t mean anything happened…
3 Likes
I would flat out ask why he was acting weird and who he plays with… It’s one of two things: you’re overreacting or he’s lying. Be prepared for either and make it up to him if he wasn’t.
6 Likes
Well my husband did that playing pool games he had several women calling texting his phone was even gonna go meet them now I caught him so now I figure if he does it again he doesn’t want to be with me anymore
3 Likes
I would definitely confront him. There are many people that meet on Xbox and leave their spouses for them. It happened to a family member of mine. It is very disrespectful for one and for two things can lead in a bad direction if you put yourself in situations. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you doing that.
3 Likes
I do gaming more than my husband but I have 3 guy friends that I game with. I never lie to my husband about who im talking to when I’m on but thats just how we are. We are very open with each other and dont feel the need to lie about anything. There is no point in stressing over something that may not even be. If one or the other is doing wrong it will come out. Stressing about it wont change what’s happened, what might happen, or what may never happen.
2 Likes
If he thinks that you’d make a big deal out of it then he knows he shouldn’t be doing it. If you feel the need to lie about something then it’s probably not right. It’s wrong to lie in general. Talk to him about it. Men should try to make their wives happy just like your not making a big deal out of him gaming all night, your not doing that for you. He shouldn’t have girl friends on there or in any parts of his life that your not comfortable with.
8 Likes
See I have moments where I feel insecure and have doubts about my partner.
But I have learned that that has more to do with ME than it does with him.
When it does happen I try to talk to him about it. “This is how I am feeling I am not accusing you of anything but this situation didn’t sit well with me and I would like you to help clear it up”
The open communication about it has made it so that it is now very very rare I feel that way at all.
If he did lie ask him about it. But don’t do so in an aggressive way. If he did lie then you have bigger problems.
- Yeah something could be going on.
- It could be over reactions on your part in the past make him feel unable to just tell you.
But just try communicating openly before jumping the gun.
7 Likes
I don’t really think she has an issue with him playing online games with a woman. I think the issue is the fact that he felt the need to lie about it being a woman. That would be concerning to me too, there’s no reason to lie about it if you’re just simply playing a game with her. If you feel the need to lie about it then you’re probably doing something you shouldn’t be.
5 Likes
He knew you would make it a bigger deal than it was. In his mind she means nothing but knew you would interpret it otherwise. I would still ask him though. I would also show some interest in his games.
3 Likes
You sure it was a girl??? My husband has some guys on his friends list on his play station and they are pics of anime girls but they are guys. I would ask him why he felt the need to lie… But I would do it in a calm manner.
1 Like
He told you it was a guy because he’s had a previous experience with you of your jealousy involving a female who is strictly platonic with him. Whether it’s a friend aquaintence or even his mother. To avoid arguments with you he said it was a guy gamer. He knows that you will check up on him and that you don’t really trust his word. You have done exactly that. If he has to lie to you about a video game then there’s definitely more communication required. When you approach the conversation take all judgemental tones and innuendos out. Be prepared to bring all information on both sides to the table and be honest. Requesting nothing but the same from him.
2 Likes
I use my husbands gamer tag often. It could have been the dude’s girls system. But talk to him. There is no relationship without communication.
2 Likes
I would have to confront him. I don’t lie to him, have nothing to hide. Something don’t smell right. If you play, pretend to be him, see how she responds, that way if he really is innocent, you won’t be accusing him.
3 Likes
I game with a bunch of guys and get called one of the guys all the time. But if asked specific genders we always tell the truth. If he feels the need to hide it I would ask him. Be aware though a lot of guys play female characters and have female gamer tags. My fiancé who is VERY masculine has a female avatar. Take it with a grain of salt but always trust your gut!
5 Likes
Do you have a history of overreacting to small things? If so that’s probably why. If not he might be hiding something.
4 Likes
I’m was a gamer for a long time, and of course it is dominated by men. There are, however a few women and girls around. I was always happy to see girl gamers, bc I learned over time that they were better team players, which made games more rewarding. They also communicate better, which improves the game experience. I would always “friend” good players, and several were girls. Obviously I do not know your husband or his character. But realize most online games are played across HUGE regions. I have never met any fellow gamer in my area. They were sprinkled across the US. So it is really improbable that he could meet anyone. If I were you, I would start playing the game and get into it. Then you can better appreciate the gaming community… it IS like a family. I was gaming to relieve serious work related stress…he may also be escaping stress or something else. Get into it, and you will get more answers.
9 Likes
I think he is playing more than just video games with girls. If they lie about “little things” then the secrets they hide is big.
2 Likes
Why, because it is inappropriate. Should you confront him ? Yes. You both took vows. You should not have to ask that question. It sounds like you are married to a boy, not a man. Video
Games should be out. So between now and dead, do you want a boy for a husband, or a man ?
Why is he uncomfortable and not open about who he is playing with.
Well I didn’t like that he gave our address out and his phone number one thing to flirt but giving shit out to strangers didn’t set well with me I mean he don’t no them ladies and it was a lot of them from all over
Ask him if he ever plays with girl players and how they differ from guys if you don’t get upset about it, height be more honest
3 Likes
He shouldn’t lie. That’s the point. There must be honesty in order to have trust in the relationship.
1 Like
There seems to be a trust issue already, if you are checking his friends on games.
1 Like
My bestie games a lot… she met a few boyfriends from good ol’ Xbox…while in relationship… so there’s that 
Maybe because he thinks your going to make a big deal of it.
4 Likes
The women are going to go wild with this one:joy:
maybe that account name is using his girlfriend name and picture many gamer do that.
If he has lied to about this, what else has he lied to you about? What is he GOING to lie to you about in the future?
If this is your biggest issue in the marriage, you have nothing to worry about
If he’d lie about that what else would he lie about?
Maybe because he knew what your reaction would be. Easier to lie than to create drama.
He was only playing a game with a girl… Its not that he was sitting in a strip club or having sex in the next room.
It’s a video game it’s not like u caught him in bed with a transvestite.
Didn’t want an argument,just a game?
Maybe he felt you would get mad?
stay in the kitchen next time
2 Likes
Just ask him just because it’s a girls gamer tags doesn’t mean anything my husband is a big gamer has been since a teen and he has a guild 99% of the members have female game tags but are 100% male they chat on discord every time they play and I’m even involved in their conversations just poking fun and joking around (Ex one gamers name is BAELYFE)but they call him bae sometimes when I think bae I think girl and the first time I heard it I asked my husband about HER because I’ve never heard her voice over discord and it’s a guy
Because he fears your irrational reaction maybe?
Jake from State Farm
2 Likes
I’m going to say it is most likely nothing big he was just concerned about how you would react. But the lie is not ok. Because well it breaks trust. It literally made you question him to a point where you broke trust and went through his game. Do I think it’s ok to have female friends. Sure but I also think it’s a slippery slope. He as your husband has to recognize that while he may not have any intention or interest in this girl when you find yourself bonding with someone it can lead to more. It can become a oh this girl is like me we both like video games. To I wish my wife was more like her. To him talking about your relationship to her. Etc. Men can be faithful but they also need to recognize when a friendship is becoming too much and be able to end it. I always say if you find yourself being tempted get out of there immediately. Don’t risk it. I worked with a guy once that I once a week was at the office late with due to a group we led. We were both married and had zero interest in each other but at times would talk after the group. 90% of these conversations were about our clients and the other 10% were also equally as innocent. Even talking about our spouses always in a positive way. But I felt that I should be careful because of how it might make my now ex-husband feel (ironically he cheated).
3 Likes
My ex eventually cheated with and married his gamer girl. So I’d ask. Would have save me 1.5yrs of my time
3 Likes
Eh…hard to say. I gamed a lot with my husband. So when he gamed with a real woman I was also gaming with her too. Like a big group of us played. But listen…woman to woman…game with your man…it’s fun and then you can also see who’s random and whos not. Ez.
3 Likes
I would definitely ask because he could be playing games with a girl that he actually knows and is close to in real life…
Chill… just take a breath, and chill
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek…I’m so proud of Mr Paul Anthony for being a man of his words…I was privileged to invest 15,000pesos… i was surprise that he make me 145,000pesos in less then 5days of trades…I’m happy that I was able to cashout my profits successfully…if you are finding it difficult in trades I recommend you to him via his link below:point_down:
Why would you feel the need to whine about if your husband is playing a game with a girl.
It isn’t cheating
1 Like
This cant be real…
4 Likes
Commenting to follow. Similar situation.
“He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing”. It’s not the girl, it’s the fact that he lied about the girl. Time for a talk
14 Likes