I want our toddler out of our bed, but how?

My husband and I have not been getting ANY sleep because our 2 year old gets into our bed EVERY night or will scream bloody murder if he doesn’t. We share a room and even putting his bed right next to mine he will not make him sleep in it. I don’t want to do anything like melatonin but I just want him to sleep in his own bed.. any advice please!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I want our toddler out of our bed, but how?

He screams because he knows you’ll give in that way. Just keep taking him back to his bed without talking to him after the second attempt, he’ll know after a bit that you won’t give in. If you’re up for it, you can tell him to pick 1 or 2 days a week that he could sleep with you guys.


Make sure he’s safe and just let him cry it out. Try putting him to bed a couple hours before you so you can monitor him. He’ll cry it out and fall asleep.
Sounds mean but it’s not. He has to learn that independence.
Put him in his room.


My 2 year old fought bedtime every single night cause she knew we’d give in and go get her. Now when we put her down she goes straight to sleep because we started letting her cry it out. Took a few nights, but it worked.


Gotta not give into him. He knows you eventually will bring him to the bed. Got to let him cry it out. This may take a couple of days and you may not get sleep but you aren’t getting good sleep now. Does he have his own room he can go into? If not either way just got to keep him in his bed. If he gets out of his bed he goes right back into it.


I always put a child lock on the inside of my child’s door. Kept them in for their safety. I took it off once they were potty trained. They always had a baby monitor in there though.


Every single time he does it carry him back to his bed. Tell him that he’s safe and loved and that it’s bed time. “X, you are safe, you are loved, and it is bed time.” Just do it over and over, it will take tons of time and tons of patience but eventually it’ll work


Crying it out works for toddlers 1.5+.


My toddler, I’d let fall asleep in bed with me at bedtime, then move him to his bed. He eventually got so use to waking up in his bed, that he will go to his own bed at bedtime unless I invite him for snuggles.


Mine did this when he was about that age. Just keep taking him to his own bed. Do not give in and let him in your bed. Took a couple times each night for a few days but mine caught on that he was not getting in our bed. And he gave up trying

Am I the only one that kind of feels like letting them cry it out isn’t always the best option? My three-year-old is legitimately terrified of being in his room at night. He’ll scream bloody murder, and it’s a kind of scream that comes from genuine fear, not just a mad toddler who isn’t getting his way. I know the difference between a tantrum and terror. We live in an apartment, so I can’t have my kid screaming in fear in the middle of the night and making the neighbors think we beat him or something. He’ll go on for a good hour and a half just shrieking at the top of his lungs.

We let him fall asleep with us, then move him to his own bed once he’s conked out. If he gets up in the middle of the night, same thing happens–we wait until he goes back to sleep, then put him back to bed. Sure, it probably takes longer, but I’d rather not traumatize my kid or have the cops called because he’s been screaming for the past hour.

Consistency. When my boyfriend and I first got together his daughter woke up every night and wanted to come to our room to sleep. I eventually just started getting up and taking her to the bathroom laying her back down talking to her about big girls have to sleep in there own room give them lots of love and hugs. And just don’t cave they only scream cause they know it’s what will work to get them what they want. Just alot of reminders that big kids sleep in big kids bed not with mommy and daddies and don’t give up it took a few weeks but she eventually stopped because she knew she was safe and that our bed wasn’t an option anymore

A parent should not let their child start sleeping in their bed in the first place . Kids have their on bed that’s where they sleep


Take him to his own bed and every time he gets out, put him back. The first time say, honey it’s bedtime, I love you. The second time say it’s bed time. After that take him to bed and say nothing. He will eventually get it. He will probably cry, don’t cave in. Tough love has never hurt a child and neither has crying.

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Put him back in his bed? Like wtf. Who is the parent here? Because clearly it’s not you if you’re going to give into him screaming like that :thinking: keep putting him back there and he will learn. Make him take naps in his bed and don’t let him get into your bed.


I let both of my kids sleep in my bed. My son is about to be 4 and my daughter is 1. I always had anxiety with them sleeping away from me. My son is reaching an independent stage where he no longer wants to sleep with his mama.

I just say, enjoy it while it lasts. :woman_shrugging: they grow up and you can’t get it back. My son is very independent now and it sucks. No more snuggles unless its on his terms.


You have to let cry don’t give in

Put him in his own room

Keep putting him to his own bed

The Gentle Sleep Specialist toddler sleep program :ok_hand:t2: will change your life

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I take mine back to their beds and tell them they have their own beds, my bed is mine and their bed is theirs. They don’t see mommy or daddy going to their bed and sleeping in their own beds. My older two have learned if wake up can’t go back to sleep they have to stay in their own beds and pass out if they can’t then they can come wake mommy/daddy up and we’ll go tuck them back into their own beds say our nights and love you again. Then mommy/daddy will go back to bed. My other two are a work in progress. Key thing is consistent on taking them back to their own beds, love, hugs and kisses so they know it’s okay for them to be in their own beds.

Take him shopping to pick out new sheets and blanket and maybe a new snuggle buddy (if he uses one). Tell him he can only use them if he sleeps in HIS bed. It worked for one of my kids, the other didn’t stay in her own bed until we moved and she got her own room again. Good luck!! I know that struggle all too well.

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What worked for me, was I took my son shopping for new bedding, I let him choose the things he wanted. He chose his pillow, mattress topper and the duvet covers. He then picked out a night light. I found that calming music helped I narrowed down the selection and then let him choose the music and I also bought a diffuser and put sleepy time oil by inessence in there.
I then sat down with him calmly and explained that when it’s bed time I will be giving 3 chances, - cry and get out of bed once, and then you will lose the music. - Cry and get out of bed twice, you will then lose the night light, - third time, your door will be shut and you will have to sleep in the dark with no music and your door closed.
I think he done this 4 out of 7 nights for the first week and then he was in the routine of this.

This is just my personal experience and what worked best for me xxx

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Frist why is he waking up ? To use the potty? Is he kicking covers off and getting cold? Is he thirsty? Mine would get cold , got a kids sleeping bag so he couldn’t kick covers off . He started sleeping thru the night again .