I want to co sleep but my husband doesnt

My husband has kids. So therefore I have stepkids. Me and my husband are trying to conceive a baby of our own. He said when we have a baby it will not sleep in the bed with us but it could sleep in the room in a crib with us. How should I feel/react ?

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How do you feel about that statement? I dont see anything wrong with it

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My daughter has never slept in my bed. When she was a baby she slept in her crib in our room, she’s 2 now, and she still sleeps in her crib.

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Id never have a baby sleeping in the bed with me, mine was in my room in a bassinet. I’d never sleep if it was in my bed worrying about suffocating it

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Its much safer that way. Baby definitely should sleep in crib as oppose to sleeping in bed with you…

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It depends on if you were wanting to cosleep or not

It’s safer to do it that way.

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I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it. I never slept with my baby but he slept in the bed with my bonus children when they were babies.

Get an arms reach cosleeper. You can have it right next to your side of the bed.

Does that include naps?

Its safer for the baby to sleep in a crib im the room rather than in the bed with you.

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Men don’t want babies cosleeping because they feel cockblocked.

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Are you feeling some type of way because you think he he’s taking experience from his other kids ? Or because you think he doesn’t want the baby with you guys

Isn’t that normal? I always had my babies in the bassinet in my room while they were infants. I don’t think it’s safe to have a brand new baby in your bed too much could happen. But your not even pregnant yet so I wouldn’t sweat this yet.

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Both of my kids slept in the bed with me

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Co-sleeping with an infant and two adults in the bed might be uncomfortable for him. I would understand.

Nobody can tell you how to feel, but yourself. Only you can decide that. I co slept with my first, but haven’t with any of my others, but I do keep them in the same room as me until a certain age. I honestly enjoy the extra room in the bed lol

Its a good thing tbh. You’ll get plenty of cuddle bonding time for feedings.

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I never slept with kids in bed with me :woman_shrugging:t2: i tried and it ruined my intimacy with my husband. Even my hospital said not to co sleep.

It’s no big deal he just has experience and knows 1 it is dangerous 2 it can cause relationship issues and 3 it is a very hard habit to break… Listen to him trust me he is just looking out for the vest

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You should feel good that he doesn’t want to take a chance of something happening to your child by being in the bed with y’all

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I’d be the same as he is.
asleep in a bassinet, crib yes in same room. but not in same bed… none of my 5 bedshared

My daughter slept in a crib in my room till 6 months the she had a really bad cold and I couldnt get any sleep unless she was in bed with me shes almost 2 and still sleeps with me and wont sleep in her bed . Didn’t make that mistake again LOL my son was in my room in the crib till 6 months he is almost one and sleep in his own room in the crib

My husband said our baby wasn’t allowed to sleep in our bed with us but that all changed once our baby was born and took over our bed :rofl:

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My Sons Father Said The Same Thing But Our Son Sleeps With Us In Our Bed

You’re not supposed to sleep with a baby, babies should be in their own crib/bassinet. You could roll over and the baby could suffocate. Some hospitals actually give out free pack n plays for your baby to sleep in. When I had my daughter 4 months ago they made me take one home, said that you have to even if you already have one.

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Talk to him about a side car type deal…different bed, just connected.

My son does both he goes into the crib once he falls asleep then when he wakes up to feed he comes into bed with me.

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Happy he wants to keep baby safe? I’m not sure what the question means. Bedsharing is super unsafe.

That’s a good idea. Once they get in ur bed it’s hard to get them out. Mine sleep beside my bed until 1 year old then get moved to another room with baby monitor

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Safer in crib next to you.

I have 4 boys and all of them slept in a crib next to my bed. I personally felt more comfortable like that.

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I don’t see anything wrong about that :woman_shrugging:t4:

I coslept with my first. It took me 7 YEARS to get her in her own bed. With my youngest I didn’t and he sleeps by himself just fine 🤷‍♀

Why the fuck is it his choice?

We used one of these, much safer and easy to reach

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I co sleep. my boyfriend said no baby in bed with us. I sleep in her room with her. he sleeps in our bedroom. I’ll do this until shes done breastfeeding.

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You shouldn’t be uoset, the baby should be in their own bed weather it’s a crib, pack n play, bassinet, Rock n play or Whatever it may be. You don’t want anything to happen to your baby. The baby will be in the room with you, that’s good!

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Safe sleep is in a baby bed by itself on their back without anything around them not blankets stuffed toys bumpers in there nothing so it’s much safer if they are not in the bed too I’m just learning about this with my foster son who is 6 weeks old now I am mom and a grandma I understand your feelings of wanting your baby right next to you but honestly I’m hearing and reading more and more about safe sleeping and why it’s better hope this helps

Wonderful because that means baby will be sleeping safely

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I mean do you like sleeping without feet in your face ?cause if you do then don’t co sleep hahah

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Good idea because once you start having kids sleep in your bed it’s not easy breaking that pattern, same room seems ok for awhile until both choose to put baby in-own room,

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Hmmm…Guess he’s sleeping on the couch :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: but in all seriousness, I’d want to discuss why he feels that way. Safety? Relationship insecurities? Worried about how it will affect your sex life? We bedshare with our daughter and to be honest, it just happened to work out that way. The bassinet is still next to the bed but she moved into ours. I think it’s definitely worth a discussion but who knows, maybe the baby won’t want to.

Relieved that your baby will be sleeping in a safe environment recommended by the academy of pediatrics and every doctor I’ve ever met.

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Cosleeping raises the chance of SIDS.

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My husband said the same because our first sleep in the bed with us and it took so long to break him from out bed. I also have step kids and he does. We are a blended family. When we decided to have our last kid he said baby would no co sleep and she did from day one and still in our bed 70% of the time most the night

It took 5 years to get my daughter out of my bed. I loved co sleeping for the first year. After that, it was a pain

What does this have to do with you having stepkids?

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I don’t agree with bed sharing. Both of us move a lot while sleeping and I could never trust myself. I would never sleep. My son slept in a bassinet next to the bed for 3 months then moved to his crib in his own room.

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My little has never slept a full night in bed with me, but till she was about 10 month she slept in a rock n play sleeper beside my bed though and now sleeps in her bed :relieved::purple_heart:

Babies shouldn’t sleep in your bed. There have been babies dying from being suffocated by their parents by accident.:pray::pray::pray:

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I wouldn’t stress it now. Wait and see how things go try a bassinet and if baby sleeps better with you I’m sure his feelings will change. Happened to a lot of my friends and myself. I wouldn’t discuss it now just say ok. Everything changes when baby comes :heartpulse::blue_heart: big love

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It’s a smart idea… it’s hard co sleeping I did it with my first but this one I got a bassinet and a play pin for him to sleep in until I put him in his own room about 2 months old

That’s safer for the baby

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Dont let babies sleep in your bed. Period.

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What do the steps have to do with the question

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Buy a large crib for your husband

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At first I hsd to cosleep with my daughter to survive, she’s a breastfed baby and we lived in harmony with my boob in her mouth. . . . . Then she started fighting her sleep and would crawl all over the bed. She got kicked out of my bed because of her crawling.

Agreed, one less thing to have to break later in life❣️

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Whatever u do dont share the bed

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Personally. I’m the one up taking care of the baby (let’s get real here there are men that help I have one of them but it will be you 90%) especially if you’re breastfeeding. Do what YOU want to do and what makes your life easiest but make sure you talk about it now because it will not get easier once the baby is here. All three of my kids have slept in the bed with me from the hospital until I was ready to put them in their crib which was in our room. (Around 6 months is the sweet spot before separation anxiety)

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I would wait and see how it turns out. Truthfully, I wanted my daughter in her crib but now we sleep together. Either on my chest on next to me and it’s the best feeling in the world. My husband didn’t wanna bed share either but he even does it from time to time, I like it and her doctor ha suggested to try and start transitioning her to a crib but he isn’t forcing us, he believes it’s safe to co sleep, which I agree with unless you move a lot then don’t do it

Not sure why we needed to know the step kids portion of this melodrama…

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Co sleeping isn’t safe. Babies have their own beds for a reason. Its safer. You want to put the baby in your room in their crib then whatever but I do agree with him the baby shouldn’t be sleeping in your bed!

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He may change his mind lol. Mine said the same thing.

Id personally be upset. Co sleeping has been wonderful for our family. Ive co slepy with all 3 of my babies. Come to a middle ground. How do you actually feel? Did you always want to co sleep?

LOLOLOL yeah my husband said the same thing when i was pregnant with out first together. That baby spent 6mos in our bed and our next one spent almost a year in our bed.

Room sharing is recommended and much safer than bed sharing. My husband didn’t want our daughter in our bed either. He sleeps like a hibernating bear and I was worried he would crush her, so I agreed. Then I read about how unsafe bed sharing is anyways, so we never did it (there are specific guidelines to make bed sharing safer, but it still is not as safe as room sharing with baby in their own separate space) My daughter slept in a bassinet and then pack n play right next to our bed until she was about 7 months old, then she moved to her crib in her own room after I got the Owlet monitor.

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Laugh at him​:joy::joy::joy: I’m serious! That’s all

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Being a first time mom to my son that’s 18 months old he slept in a rock n play till he was old enough to sit up than he laid with us now he’s in his own bed and sleeps fine

I think he’ll change his mind but I’d address it again close to the birth of your child and let him know how you feel about your first child sleeping alone. You could always compromise by putting a crib in your room?

Never let your baby sleep in bed with you

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I don’t have my kids in the bed with me and my partner I’ve always had my kids next to me in a cot. Your husband is right I would keep them out of the bed because the fact is kids need their own personal space and they need to learn when they get into a room that your room is not theirs. Plus you don’t want your kids in your bed because they come socks at the end of the day and you do not want to be raising socks plus I understand what your husbands coming from it would get too crowded and then he would feel like he’s not wanted in relationship go all needs of breastfeeding them in the bed but once you done breastfeeding put them back in the cot as also it is dangerous to have your kids in your bed because you do not know if your partner is going to turn over in the night and roll on them

It’s not a bad thing he is meeting you in the middle though with the crib.

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Do what makes you comfortable.

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My husband said the same thing and every night he gets the sweet cuddles of our youngest…it makes breastfeeding so much easier at night

I have 4 kids. I use to think no way but my husband wanted them in bed with us. DONT share the bed. A week turns into a month, into 3 months… 6 years later… :woman_facepalming:t4:

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What does co-sleeping have to do with your husband having kids already

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My daughter slept in our room in her pack n play until she was 4 months old. We then moved her into her own room and she’s never slept in our bed. My brother and sister in law let their son sleep with them as a baby and he was 10 yrs old before they got him out of their bed! They couldn’t even be intimate if they wanted to because he was in their bed!!
Don’t start it is my advice. Sleeping with your baby also increases the risk of SIDS!

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Listen to him. You can’t force him to do something he’s not comfortable with. If you can’t respect it than y’all don’t need to have a child.

It’s the safest thing to do anyways.

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I said my baby wasnt allowed to sleep with us. He turns 5 next week and still in my bed

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It’s fine to be in your room for convince but find the baby it’s own bed to sleep in. Unless you want a 5 yr old inbetweenn you and your husband. The marital bed should be just that. You and your husband. Baby can sleep fine a ft from your bed. Swaddling is the thing for newborns…practice…

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You’re not supposed to share a bed with your baby anyways it’s very dangerous there’s nothing wrong with the baby sleeping in a bed of its own in your bedroom

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My husband said the same…

Our son is 16 months old and is asleep next to him as I type this.

Lucky, lol. I wish I would Have listened to my husband now we have this every night.

I mean. I think you’re entitled to your own choice. If you want to co-sleep I think he should understand. If not he can sleep on the couch. :joy: Maybe you guys can come to an understanding.

Safe sleep guidelines say 100% not to co sleep with your baby. I slept with my baby’s bassinet right next to me on my side of the bed. They sleep comfortably and happily swaddled up in their own safe space. After you give birth, the hospital will drill this into your head and get pretty upset if you try to co sleep while in the hospital still. Look into the statistics regarding newborn deaths from co sleeping. Baby should not have stuffed animals, pillows, etc…even in the bassinet. Not saying I didn’t start co sleeping later on, which has now resulted in my 4 yo refusing to sleep anywhere but my bed now, which is a little frustrating since he transitioned great from the bassinet to his crib. I started co sleeping when my husband started working nights and I have no idea how to transition him back to his own bed. Your husband probably just knows some of this stuff already and isn’t trying to be difficult. You should definitely research yourself and see you shouldn’t be upset about what he’s saying. My husband’s ex loves to call CPS on us over made up stuff all of the time and every time they have come out, I have had to show that my bio son has his own place to sleep (his crib) with no pillows, stuffed animals, etc…in it or they would have kept the case open until we complied. They’ve actually told us these safe sleep practices need to be followed through age 3, which I don’t agree having to do all of this through that age. My bio son was co sleeping with us at age 3 but I always kept his bed set up as they advised, as his ex has literally sent CPS to our house out of spite too many times to count over the past few years.

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kids SHOULD NOT be sleeping in same bed as you. not good for them.

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That’s between the two of you. Ours co-slept but first used a bassinet next to the bed when she was tiny.

We said same thing not even a week later daddy brought him to bed with us and he hasnt left since and hes 2 and a half

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The Dr said not to let my baby sleep in my bed so it is good if the baby sleeps alone

My older 2 boys slept in my bed but also had thier own bed they would go to as well. My new baby boy who is only a week old will more then likely sleep in my bed as well as his own. It’s a matter of preference but I don’t think there is anything bad about it. We ended up getting a bigger bed because my boys will randomly come to our bed and he wants his space.

Are you upset because you feel he’s taking that experience away from you? Or because he made a “the baby will not…” statement and you feel like he isn’t giving you a choice or opinion?

Trust him! I had some latch issues with my son for the 1st 2 months so he ended up sleeping in the bed with us. He is fixing to turn 3 and still cant fall asleep without being in my bed. Once asleep he goes to his bed which is in our room. Im about to have my second baby and i am DETERMINED to not let her sleep in my bed.

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We would talk. I think its only fair for each to hear the other out. However…I don’t necessarily think he is wrong. I have co slept with 4 of my 5 kids and it was hell getting them in their own beds later. My 4 year old finally did about 6 months ago. Now my youngest…well I was told she should co sleep because she was early and her she needed skin to skin for body temp…well she slept in her bassinet at the hospital and a few times at home and since I was advised to have her sleep with me…well now she won’t.

I’m way to scared my boyfriend will roll over on the baby or I will while sleeping :tired_face: I’d rather just have a bassinet right next to my bed…

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Get a co-sleeping crib. Attach it on your side of the bed.

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Sleeping with baby is a bad idea. Period.

My husband and I had our daughter’s bassinet in our room until she was 4 months old than we transitioned her to her crib in her room. She has never co slept with us.

I agree with him, we (personally) chose never to let the kids sleep IN our bed, just in the room in their crib. I think it worked well for us as both of our children are good sleepers in their own beds (age 4 and 2) Good luck, and remember, it comes down to whatever works so that you and hubby can actually get some sleep too!