I rarely make goals/resolutions for the New Year, but I have decided to do so this year. My main goal is to try to make a relationship with my mil better. I’m trying to figure out how to go about it with her. I’m gonna go up and talk to her this week, and I just don’t know what to say. Any help is welcome!!
Honesty is always the best policy. If you have negative things to discuss try and couple it with real compliments. It makes things alot easier and she maybe less offended by anything negative. Good luck! Talking is the first step!
Good for you and good luck!! Honesty and communication are the best fighters against lingering resentment. Be honest about your needs, wants and expectations going into it and be open to listening to hers as well. Communication is key. Good on you for taking the first step to fixing your relationship!
How did you get off track to begin with. I pray it all works out for you both
No matter what the issue is/was, and who “caused” the tension, forgiveness is the first step.
Does she knit or crochet you could get her to teach you does she can fruits and vegetables make jams and jellies ask her to teach you these are things you could bond over things she likes to do that maybe if she has daughters they don’t want to learn my mother-in-law taught me how to crochet her daughter didn’t want to learn and I had a lot of fun learning and we would sit together for hours and crochet or are there certain things you want to learn how to cook but you’re not sure about
She tell her you both love the same man. Let’s be adults and figure this out. Forget, forgive and move on. Good luck!
I think that is a great goal and your a brave women to do so!
Start by asking her to have girls day! Coffee and chocolate! Without kids and boys!!! Ask her for a date and make sure ur husband is available that day!
Speak from your heart
I wish you luck! Just sit down and have a nice calm conversation with her. Be aware that you might find out that the problems with her began with what your husband told her. So also just be careful what you say when talking about her son.
Always start with some type of compliment. And during your visit ask for some type of advice. Cooking, baby, laundry, cleaning, anything. Tell her you really appreciate it. Be honest. Be real.
First find out if she wants the same thing as you. Second… Go see a mediator, someone who will help both of you articulate what you are actually feeling without it coming out as criticizing the other, pointing fingers etc. All of this “forgive & forget” advice is great until something happens and one of you ends up picking at old scabs and bringing up the past because you got hurt again. You guys need to deal with your past issues in a healthy way, set boundaries and move forward together.
Depends on the issue try lunch or coffee once a week
From my experience, honestly and communicating was the most helpful. I’m proud of you to put aside your pride to build this relationship. Just be cautious because even my MIL can’t be fully trusted to this day and I have mended things with her for about 4ish months now
Start with, “Thank you for raising the Amazing person I Love, and for Loving my kids.” Although you have different views, you both love the same people
Firstly, what are your issues w her? I think that’s a wonderful goal. You don’t even have to say anything just start behaving differently. Treat her like you wld any of your other good friends. Get to know her as a person not just Hubby’s mom. Find things that you can connect w her with. Accept her for who she is and work a that.
Just be straight forward and honest with her let her know your feelings and let her exspress hers as well and jyst talk to each other it might be a little unnerving at first but stick to it and keep everyrhing calm
Good for you! Boundaries, clear boundaries are a must. I wish I had done so, I’m over 20 years in and it’s still rocky.