I have two kids with my partner, who I’ve been with since high school, and we’ve been together for nearly six years? He’s a great dad who makes more effort with the kids than I sometimes do. Our daughter is three this year, and our son just turned one last month. I had them close in age because I wanted to be fat once, lol. Have I been thinking of having another baby soon, maybe next year or even late this year? But because we aren’t married (we talk about getting married, so the intention is there), I’m a bit iffy. I don’t wanna be one of those women with six kids and still isn’t a wife. Am I normal to feel 50/50 about it?
You just said he makes more effort than you do. But you want more kids?
And marriage is going to change what?
I think if marriage is such a big thing to you, then you should communicate this with your partner and get his thoughts and feelings on it. It’s all well and good to have those intentions but if this is something you’re wanting to prioritise first before you have your next baby then you’ll have to have the conversation. I personally see nothing wrong with wanting to be married, it’s fair to want to have the same last name as your babies.
You had two without being married. What’s the difference?
You already have 2 and aren’t married… Why is it a big deal now?
I’ve been with my man for 16 years. We aren’t married. We have 2 kids. It’s fine.
You don’t need to be married to have a family, After all it’s just a piece of paper right. what matters most is that you both love each other and both want the same things
Marriage is just a piece of paper. If you’ve been with someone for years and have children with them and live with them, a piece of paper is not going to change anything about the way you feel about each other or your relationship. Don’t let other people’s opinions bother you because it’s your relationship and your kids, not theirs. If you want more kids and someone has an issue that you’re not married I’d tell them to shove their opinion up their ass.
You’ve already brought two kids into this world without being married and now you’re being hesitant cause you’re not married? Hope you realize that being married is just a piece of paper saying you’re married that’s it nothing more than that and if yall ever decide to split you’ll be dealing with lawyer fees and child support child custody etc so really think abt this because in the end it’s just a piece of paper that’s it I’m sorry. Yall can do the same stuff without being married hell yall already are yall brought two kids in this world u live together u sleeping together etc.
Do you really think a piece of paper is going to make a difference on how much you love each other? And he already sounds like a great dad so about another baby if you want
Well I’m doomed as I have over twice that amount of children and I do all the work and I’m no where near married but best of all my kids get 110%, of my attention so I don’t need to be concerned about being married and having a piece of paper to prove it…at the end of the day a marriage is a day of showing your partner what you have done since you have been doing for past however long but with a piece of paper added into it to frame now thats all…
At this point I don’t understand one more kid making a difference.
Marriage is a piece of paper. Also, you wanted to be fat? Huh?
what’s the difference at this point…
He makes more effort with the kids than you sometimes do? U wanted to be fat once… what’s wrong with a woman who has six kids and isn’t married?
You don’t need to be married to have a family…
That’s completely based on preference. I have a child with my boyfriend and we plan on having another. However, I refuse to ever get married. It’s not my thing
Have the baby. Get back to the weight you want and then get married and then you can also include all the kids bot just 2 and one be born after and not in pictures etc
Can you support them? Do you want to care for them, lessons, school, socials,…
At least 6 kids to the same dad is better than 6 kids to 6 different dads. I know accidents happen and things out of our control, like cheating or breakups, so am not mocking those mothers. But there is a stigma associated more with the different dads
My husband and had one got engaged had two more and got married. The order doesnt matter. The love does.
I mean i have two unmarried. If he wanted to be a dick and keep kids or keep kids half time… id file for child support. So i could be home on my time with kids and still be able to support them just as well and work when i dont have my kids or there at school .
Honestly marriage puts a lot of stress on a relationship. If you guys are happy don’t worry about it but you do both have to agree on another baby
Well there’s also a chance of divorce and having those kids as well. I didn’t want to be un married with my kids, we got married almost a year after our oldest was born, had another 18 months later but we are divorced now.
A family member of mine. Has 6 and she not married. You don’t always have to be married just got kids. I mean bringing kids is a blessing. And I get every girls dreams is to be married. But not every relationship will be sunshine and rainbows. If you want to have another. That’s fine. I’m not even married and in pregnant with my second. I do believe in marriage. But before I out any man in my life I rather put my children’s first.
You had kids close together so you only had to be fat once? My advice is to grow up yourself before having any more children.
I’ve been with my boyfriend 7 years and we just had our third🤷🏻♀️
We’re not married because I accidentally threw his birth certificate away with his old car insurance papers and we just never got around to getting him a new one. We actually didn’t even know what happened to it until we wanted to get married about 4 years ago and couldn’t find it😂
I’ve been with my partner for 10 years, with 2 kids, and still not married. I want to, but it’s no rush
Ask him if marriage is something he even wants. You should communicate with him that it’s something you want, and if you want it soon. You’re still with him either way, he’s your partner now and will be if a paper says your married. But no matter how many kids you have with however many guys, if you’re with someone you love and want another baby, it shouldn’t matter much if you’re married or not.
Honestly you sound a bit child like? I think you should do some growing up first and look after the two you already have and make more of a effort with them!
Welp, as a mother with 6 kids and not married LMFAO personally speaking. Ain’t no difference punkin. U either do it or u don’t.
I mean you have 2 children with the same man and are not married ,so why not another child, if you both want one?
In my opinion it is just a piece of paper and having a family together is a much bigger more complex and trying thing you can do compared to walking down the ile and signing paperwork.
It should be a non-issue I think because marriage does not stop a family from being broken apart…
Marriage is not going to make you a better mother the same as having kids before Marriage does not make you a bad mother!!!
Do what you want. It’s your life. That being said, marriage is not just a piece of paper. It both entitles and obligates each of you to a great many things. And in my state it even changes how things are dealt with in the event of a split/divorce. Read about your state laws and think long and hard before you get married.
I’ve been with my man for almost 11 years now and we have 6 kids together
I’ve got 5 kids, 3 baby daddy’s, never been married oh well I’m 44 with a 7 month old surprise baby and living my best life. Glad I’m not married
Lmfao it doesn’t matter at this point I’d understand if y’all didn’t have any and wanted to get married first but you have 2 who the helllll cares atleast it’s the same bd
5 yrs in November here, still not married, we have 3 kids going on 4 together. You don’t have to be married to bring life into the world with someone you deeply love and care about
Marriage is a piece of paper love is what matters you already have 2 children together your happy I say go for it!
A piece of paper doesn’t really mean anything, marriage ends, but essentially you share two bloodlines together so you’re there in each other’s lives regardless unless one decides I don’t want anything to do with you or kids
The having kids close in age because you only want to be fat once and your comment about him making more effort at times than you leads me think you may need to do some more growing up first. The comments just hit me as immature for someone that is thinking of having another baby. Adding more children to the mix doesn’t make anything easier (especially if it ends up being a multiple pregnancy or baby ends up with some type of special need). Things happen you don’t anticipate and could have never seen coming so try keeping that in mind. Having more babies adds not just more financial strain but also emotional/physical/mental. And, marriage is just a peice of paper IMO. My ex husband and I did better when we weren’t married honestly. And nowadays, it doesn’t have have same meaning and importance as it did years and years ago. Whatever you choose to do, good luck and I hope it works out for you guys.
You already have two children without the marriage. You need to ask yourself why are you pushing the subject at this point. What was the trigger and is it important enough for your future for you to push? Only you can answer that question.
I’ve been with my man 17years we have 3 kids 15 12 8 and have never married but have allways wanted to
I’m not married and we’ve been together 9 years and have kids kids kids kids kids hahaha
Having children together is a bigger commitment than marriage x
The fact that you are asking means that it’s important to you. Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It may be to some, but to others it’s cultural, symbolic, and can be important without either of those things. People say it’s just a paper but so is money and we get up everyday to work for that. Maybe you are evolving and now it is important to you. Talk to your partner. Getting married does not have to be a huge amount of money. It can be an intimate affair with just you, him, your witnesses and your children. I’d do that first if that’s important to you. You can have your baby after.
What’s the difference in a woman unmarried with 2 kids or 3 kids I don’t see a difference honestly
You’re an unmarried mum of 2, so why not 6? he clearly loves you and is committed so unless you’re desperate to get married then do that first then have another child. If you’re not that fussed and are yearning more for the child than the ring, and he’s up for another, do it
We have 3 kids & one expected in juli. Not married! But I Dont give a (bleep) about it. I know were good! We Don’t need a paper for it! Having kids means more for us then being married!
Your already unmarried with 2 and still could end up divorced with six so doesn’t really matter
I have 4 kids and not married. 2 are biologically my so, we adopted one together and my oldest isn’t biologically his but we’ve been together since I was 5 months pregnant with him. All 3 kids have their dads last name. My oldest has a different last name and he says it’s not fair if we get married because then everyone will have the same last name except him. So we won’t be getting married. We’ve been together 9 years.
Marriage in the grand scheme of things is just a piece of paper and ALOT of problems. People have been together for YEARS and then got married and BOOM. divorced and hate each other by a year in.
Honestly if things are going fine and good, then I say have another kid and do what makes you happy.
But if marriage is something you want, then talk it over.
We are high school sweet hearts got married after 8 years while pregnant with our 3rd lol now we have 5 girls and have been married for 8 years
If he justs walks and you have all these kids, can you support them-give them the life they deserve?-I would have no kids until I was married-you just playing house-If he don’t think enough to marry you,He is just using you
I don’t think it matters if you have 2 or 6 and you aren’t married.
I mean maybe if you had 6 close in age to different dads, you would get judged then.
But I don’t think it matters
You might end up with 6 children and still not married. My only concern is can you financially support the children if for some reason he isn’t there? A JP can marry you two if money is the issue. The children have his last name? If so, it would make sense you could too. As far as having another child ‘go for it’ You already have 2 and not married so I don’t see a problem.
I have 4 kids and been with same man 12 years! I am not married(my choice) Don’t really care to ever get married… That paper changing my name to his isn’t going to change the life we have or the love we have for each other! Start putting your plans into action though. It’s important to you how your path is laid make it happen!
Having a piece of paper doesn’t equal commitment
There are many divorces each year and being married doesn’t stop cheating etc
You could have 12 kids married then end up divorced
Marriage is NOT just paper. But money is and you get up and make effort for that! Hon if you want marriage then seek it. Dont let these ladies make you feel like you should settle for what you got just bc they did. If this is important to you, IT IS VALID AND IMPORTANT. Speak up on what you want. You don’t want resentment within your family. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have or how many you plan to have. Marry that man if it will make you happy. There is a HUGE problem with not marrying, if marrying is what you want! Please, do not settle for less than you want!!!
I feel you in this. I want the same last name as my kids.
Definitely a preference. I will never get married. Don’t want to. I’ve had two kids and I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost eight years. But I don’t plan to ever get married
Dont do it. Just master being a good mom to the 2 you have. Marriage or not if your not “into raising” the 2 you have as much as the father why add to his work load? Mothering is hard work and not for the lazy. Marriage isnt an answer to any problems you may have and neither is adding another child.
If you didnt require him to marry you before you had kids or before you had your second one and he doesn’t feel the need to propose or get married then he’s not going to do it. You don’t perform wifely duties when you’re just the girlfriend if you want to be a wife. 🤷 I have noticed that couples that have been together for years, don’t get married or keep talking about getting married is because there’s an unresolved issues that aren’t being talked about that is making one party or both parties hesitant to take the next step into marriage. Please don’t have any more children if you’re not into raising the two that you already have especially don’t have kids to keep him around or keep him interested in you because that doesn’t work.
Ask your boyfriend if he plans to marry you? You already have two kids with him so I don’t see why it matters. As long as you’re happy. If you would like to be married then communicate with him. Maybe he doesn’t know how you feel.
Marriage is a hell of a lot more than a piece of paper. You think the gays fought and suffered for a piece of damn paper? Pfft. It offers a lot of legal benefits and protections. If you are both independently wealthy, or you’re staying unmarried for government welfare benefits, that’s your business, I guess. Some people benefit more from staying single under those circumstances. Most people don’t. Most people who have children without choosing to be married, do it out of fear and ignorance. I encourage you and everyone with children to educate yourselves on what you gain from marriage, and what you lose out on (especially should one or both of you die without the protection of marriage, and/or a will). Then once you understand the whole picture - legally, emotionally, and statistically (ie married people are more like to stay together than cohabitors, etc) - then sit down with him and discuss why he doesn’t think it’s important to marry. Maybe you will educate him about some things he didn’t know. Maybe you will just see that he’s afraid of not being able to easily walk away if things don’t work out. One of those should make you think twice about more kids. It’s an important discussion you need to have, and I wouldn’t let it go until you have a definitive outcome and a clear understanding of your future with this man. That’s just my opinion though.
If he left you can you support 3 kids on your own ?
My fiance and I have been together 9 years, engaged 7 of those. I’m pregnant with our 4th baby. I see no problem with it. One day we will have the wedding we want, but for now it feels like we already are. Lol
I have 6 kids and not married does that make me wrong? How offensive.
Why would you need to be married to more children? It’s literally just a piece of paper. Any moron commenting about how he could leave you with the kids fails to realise he can do that regardless of whether you’re married or not.