I am wanting to have wedding photos done but want a few without my husbands kids in them…. I mostly just want them to be of my kids and my husband and I so I can hang them around the house. Of course I want a couple with his kids too so they don’t feel left out but am unsure how I go about saying this to him… shoukd I just make separate photo days for his kids to join in? Help!!
What you should tell him is that he should marry someone else. Someone who doesn’t use terms like “my kids” and “his kids”. Someone who doesn’t want to exclude “his kids” from an important day in his life.
He, and those kids, deserve better.
As a stop mom myself this breaks my heart to read. Kids should not be made to feel excluded or treated different just because you didn’t birth them. How will they feel when they see all the wedding pics around the house without them? Fricken terrible. I hope you really think over the responsibilities of being a step mom prior to marrying this man.
This marriage ain’t gonna last long .
You know the best way to deal with this is to have an honest heartfelt conversation with soon to he husband about how you will ,from this point on, continually exclude his kids from yalls life. Don’t marry a man with kids if you don’t want his kids! Your honestly sickening
If you can’t accept his kids as your own you shouldn’t be with someone who has kids already. He’s clearly accepting yours through and through and what are you doing? Picking and choosing. They are an extension of him. Please tell him so he can run away !!
Girl, you can’t have a “family photo” of your wedding without his kids!! They’re part of the family as well, if you can’t accept that, you need to let that man know so he can find someone else who will accept him and his kids wholeheartedly, because you ma’am, are not it
Get pictures of you two, pictures of everyone together, you guys with his kids, you guys with your kids, all of the kids together, his kids, your kids and put ALL of them on your wall surrounding the picture of you two. There is no separation or leaving anyone out doing it this way. You will all be a family show it PROUDLY without making anyone feeling less important.
When my husband and I got married we had 6 kids between us aged 11-18 and they all stood up for us. His son was his best man and my oldest daughter was my maid of honor. We joked about our Brady Bunch wedding but we felt it was the perfect way to blend our families. If you can’t accept his kids just like your own, you probably shouldn’t marry a man with kids!
As a stepmom I could not imagine having pictures of my husband and our kids without my bonus son. This breaks my heart for those kids😞
He shouldn’t be marrying you.
All kids or no kids. Good luck with that
And this why step moms get a bad name. Don’t marry someone who has other children if you don’t plan on taking on the responsibility that comes with it.
Rethink the marriage those are your kids too if you get married and that’s not how you treat them.
Family photos should include the whole family.
Mpo :They deserve better especially ￼if this is how your gonna act……
I love how everyone is coming together and calling this self centered out. Those kids and dad deserve better.
I wish I could reach out to your fiance and tell him to RUN!! You are ridiculous. I feel bad for his kids!
Let me get this straight. You don’t want as many pictures with HIS kids as there are with YOUR kids? Does he not love his kids as much as you love yours? Is he not accepting your kids as his own? Shouldn’t you be accepting his the same way? What makes your kids better than his? Are yours more important? Do your kids feel things more than his? Like your kids might feel hurt if they’re excluded, but his might not? To be honest, I’m curious as to why anyone would see you as marriage material if you can’t accept their children as your own.
Ur already dividing this family.I can’t say that ur already dividing ur family because it’s clear u don’t think of his kids as ur family.Dont marry him if ur not going to love his kids as ur own🤬
Ew. You shouldn’t be getting married if you don’t feel like those are your kids too.
How would you feel if it was the opposite and he said he didn’t want your kids in the pictures?
Don’t marry that man!
I was completely like “that’s okay” my kids weren’t in any pictures pictures because crying etccc… I just assumed you wanted couple pics… but nooo you want pics with YOUR KIDS… those kids are your kids now… if you’re already cutting them out just leave now
How would you feel if it were reversed and he didn’t want your kids in pictures? That’s not a great way to start a marriage, plus how do you think it will make those kids feel? This is a red flag
Leave that man and his children alone. You’re just going to bring them heartache.
That’s terrible how could you be so mean there his children they should be in photos same as you want your kids in photos with you and him he could say I want my kids in photos and nott ures.it says alot for you u either except his children or I was him I would do a runner
Save everyone’s money and time and just be in a relationship with your kids.
When you go through all of these comments I hope you realize that you need to work on yourself as a person. I hope that your words just got twisted and this isn’t how you meant it. If not I hope you find a man with no kids that don’t want your kids to be a part of anything so you can feel what you are projecting. Those poor kids. Yours and his. Sad to think your kids will grow up thinking they are better than everyone else. That is what you are teaching them.
So you do realize when you get married they become your kids also right? Wonder rif he wants any done with just his to hang around the house. wtf is wrong with you. I seriously hope you get help before his kids get stuck with you and I hope he realizes what kind of person you are before he says I do
I guess you need to sit down and tell him you are a horrible human and don’t deserve the love of this man and HIS children. Just imagine him saying this bullshit to his friends about you! You don’t deserve the love of these bonus babies. Save everyone the the torture of living with you and walk away
How can you include your kids but not his? Just sad
You are marrying a man with kids, they’re yours too when you get married. Include them. Don’t be petty. As long as he is a part of your life, so are his children. If you don’t like it, don’t marry a man with kids.
Eww. That’s gross and I’m sorry you’re even dealing with thoughts like that! I wouldn’t want a single picture hung on my wall that didn’t have the ENTIRE family (all kids) in it! I hope you can reevaluate your feelings and if they don’t change, have a conversation with your soon to be hubby so he can split before the wedding! My sincere apologies that these thoughts are in your mind.
You’re a C U Next Tuesday and I hope your husband does a runner
Holy toxic… you’re joining families but don’t want his kids in wedding pics?!? How would they feel if they saw pics hanging where they weren’t included? If anything do pics with your kids and then his kids and then all of you. And then hang one of each around the house! But honestly I would never even do separate pics. I would accept my husband’s kids as my own and have them all in the pics.
I’m hoping this just was worded improperly, and what you’re wanting is different photos of different people in different settings/positions etc.
You and hubby.
You and all the kids.
You and just yours.
Him and yours.
Him and just his.
So on and so forth, so every one gets a turn with everyone and no one is left out Bc you are now a family and his kids ARE your kids.
You are the definition of what we hear people say much too often as the wicked stepmother!If you marry him those are your babies, I really hate that their dad chose you to help him raise those babies:rage: I can’t imagine leaving a child out of family pictures, imagine the change of dad having a new woman, and this new woman she doesn’t even want them in the family pictures…how traumatic!!!
You are the evil step mother in the Disney movie and i hope he figures it out sooner rather than later for the sake of those poor babies.
Are you for real? Or is this a joke? When marrying a person with children, those children should become your children as well. Why would you feel the need to keep his children out of family wedding photos? Way to break apart a family before it even has a chance to start. I suggest you come forward with your feelings. Your fiance may have some different choices to make going forward. This post speaks volumes about your character.
I dont know what to say when i see this. Once my bonus girl was involved with our family she has since been in every family picture. My situations a little different as our kids all have the same dad and mine our older but marrying into to a premade family makes them part of the family. Dont marry him if you dont want his kids to be a part of the family that not fair to them at all.
You are so foul!! I hope he sees this and calls off the wedding!!!
This has to be a joke. Makes me want to cry for his kids. I could never imagine treating my stepson this way. My fiance had 1 kid and I had 4 when we met and we just had our first together but they’re all our kids. I’m sure you’d be upset if the roles were switched and he was saying this about your children
I’m a bonus mom to 3 children and 2 with my husband so if I ever thought that we should ever have separate family pictures I would expect my husband and family to look at me sideways. When you marry someone with kids even as adults they become your kids too if you think differently you seriously need to look at yourself and realize how self centered that truly is.
You’re marrying a man with kids…those are now your kids. If that’s not how you feel, you definitely shouldn’t be marrying him. Wtf.
Why are you marrying a man if you don’t even want his kids in the photos. It a dam picture. Image how life after the wedding is going to be for those kids with you as a step mom. If I was him and you said this to me,I’d run right there. Major red flag on your behalf
We did some pictures just with us.
But I love the picture of his and mine children under 16, there 5 children.
they did a circle it was beautiful and I cherish it to this day.
I’m so glad we did.
That’s kind of mean , why wouldn’t they all be in the picture ? I can understand having some all together and then some with you and your kids and some with you and his kids . But to not include them is mean
You chose to marry him therefore you chose his kids too just as he chose yours. How would you feel if he told you he didn’t want your kids in most pictures and wanted only his in them? You’re a blended family now. Treat his kids as your own now.
As a mom, a step mom, and honestly just as a human being, you and this post make me sick. You’re not going to be a family even after this wedding BC YOU don’t see it as a family…you see it as your kids and his kids. Honey, that’s “yalls kids”. My boyfriend and I blended out family of 4 kids almost 5 years ago. We esch have 2 bio children, and none together. When we get married, all of “OUR” kids will be included. This is some massively disgusting BS. If either of you can’t attach to or claim all the kids as your kids, then this marriage shouldn’t happen.
Aww honey you don’t deserve the things that’s being said to you here!!
Everyone is being too kind. Please do this man and “his kids” a big favor and go on and remove yourself from their lives now before he makes the mistake of saying “I do”!..So he can find himself and his kids a real woman worthy of calling their step-mom. Cause you, mam… are not it.
If you’re marrying this man why treat his kids differently? His kids should be your kids. The way you’re going about it, like “doing it so they don’t feel left out” is like you’re doing it just do it.
Don’t marry him. This is disgusting, marrying him is accepting his children too as your own. Clearly you aren’t ready for that. His children deserve a better stop mom. Yuck
The fact that you’re calling them “his kids” and “my kids” instead of referring to the entire group as “our kids” is a huge red flag.
You are already sewing division in your family and in your marriage and that’s a horrible way to start off.
All of OUR kids aren’t my husband’s by blood, but he has absolutely NEVER called them anything except OURS.
You have to change your mindset or, for those babies’ sake, you need to walk away.
You married him and his children are now part of your family. Do not start out your marriage drawing a wedge between children. You will come out on the short end of the stick. I married a man with 2 children and I had a son. We were a family no step children
And if you say well his kids don’t come visit, they aren’t nice to mean, we’re not close…sorry not sorry… that is ALL on you. You do not want to be close, be part of their lives, you haven’t opened that door to them. I have just girls day with my girls, I make sure they don’t feel like STEP children, they feel like they are loved. They know they always have a place in our home, have a bedroom for just them. They go on every vacation, every family day, every holiday, and are never excluded. My husband is the same with the boys. He calls them his boys, always has.
Wow, that even hurts to read. How would you like it if it was done to you. You wouldn’t have￼. His kids shouldn’t be left out of the pictures. If you can’t love his kids as your own why even get married . You sound like the evil stepmother from cinderella… ￼
Woah. My husbands kids are my kids. That’s Wrong. You got with him knowing he has kids it’s disgusting for you to even think like “his kids or my kids” they are all your kids or don’t get married.
Is this a serious question? No stepmother should ever even think this. Don’t be surprised if there is a divorce soon after the wedding if it even makes it that far. If that dad cares anything about HIS KIDS he would take them and run. I have been a stepmother for 20 yrs even raising my 10 yr old nephew now and there is no way in this world I would leave any of them out of anything family oriented. You should think about how those kids would feel instead of how you will feel. This is sad!!!
I’m wondering how you would feel if he told you he only wants pictures with his kids and not yours so he can hang them up.
You obviously don’t love the man or his kids so maybe you can’t get a shot of him running for his life and put that up in your house
As if you even posted this what makes your kids more important than his i wouldnt marry you just for this post
Get pics of you both with just his kids then some with you guys and just yours and some of all of you together and hang all the pics. I think and hope everyone read this wrong. If not … if you don’t want any pics of his kids…let that man go.
I see a divorce in your future if the wedding even happens! He needs to find someone who accepts all of him and that includes his kids. What an awful thing to do!
Wow I hate that for his kids and him. If you can’t accept his kids even in the wedding pictures then don’t marry him because you are being a horrible person. Tell him so i hope he finds someone better that will not only love him but loves his kids and accepts them
You should say exactly this to your husband so he can rethink this marriage. If you are not already a “family” then he deserves someone that will accept his kids as their own. My husband has 2 daughters, I have 2 sons and our agreement from the start was there is no your kids, my kids… they are OUR kids. I have never once left out the girls, they are my heart, my girls. How would you feel if he asked you to do a seperate day for just his kids and hang the pics without your kids?
You’ll never be a good stepmother, let him go so he can find someone that’ll love his kids too
You do one photo session you and husband the both of you with all kids the both with your kids the both with his kids you with your kids and you with his kids you with all kids him with his kids him with your kids and him with all kids choose pictures from all taken
This is normal to me…even people who get married after having their kids, take some pictures without their kids during their wedding.
You should not have the wedding at all and let him find someone who will not only love him but “his”kids as well.
Please go ahead and just ask. So he knows what a horrible person he is about to marry.
How would you feel if he wanted the same with him you and only his kids. Excluding your kids. Chew on that a bit.
Your marrying this man,so his children are now your children and visa versa, people like you make me sick
Well you are not just marrying him they are his kids so if you don’t want his kids he doesn’t need you
are you trying to make those kids resent you before you even get married?!? if i was his kids mom and i found out you even had this go thru your mind?!? oh girl!!! if you don’t love those kids like your own, then you don’t love him!
Hope he leaves you before the wedding even happens. You dont deserve them kids or him at this point.
So you don’t want his kids in the photos in your house?! How would you feel if he said the same about yours?!
Holy cow ! I hope this man don’t marry you !!! “To hang around the house” as if those kids aren’t your family now
If you can’t include them in your photos you don’t deserve them in your life
Give him pictures without your kids too. Only fair!
There part of your family to now, just except that. Sounds a bit selfish
I’d probably ask him, that way at least he’ll know what he’s getting into before you marry him.
Think your husband should hang pictures of himself and HIS kids only up around the house make sure he gets a few with your kids so they don’t feel left out
My advice is don’t get married, if both of your kids aren’t going to be treated the same go ahead and break it off now. Him and his kids deserve better
You married him and his kids… same with him. It’s all or nothing
All I’m going to say is just wow.
Pretty sure this is a joke. Surely you don’t really feel this way.
This post can’t be real. If it is, that poor man and his kids. Marriage will be over before it begins
You should have this conversation with him, so he can leave with his kids now.
When u ask for advice and regret it seriously I agree with all the above though.
Tell him YOUR PLANS!!! see if he still marries you…now this is one sided so we don’t know your husband to be…so who knows…what his reaction, will be…just tell him…
Well this is sad those kids deserve better
If he has other kids, they’re now a part of your family just as the kids you birthed. My husband has 2 boys from his previous marriage and I would NEVER have pictures made purposely without them and then hang them around the house so they can see the divide when they’re over. Woah lady— I hope you tell him just like this & he picks his kids over you
Hmm…you can’t hang pictures with his kids in them around the house? Wow. This is one of the mist selfish things I have heard
I wonder how she would feel if he asked her the same question? Bet she’d see the issue then. This poor man.
Wtf?!?! Listen, I’ve been a Mom, Step-Mom, Baby Mama, wife, ex wife and girlfriend in this scenario so 9/10 times i usually understand where a person is coming, because it is in no way easy. until you’ve been there, you won’t truly understand/see it from all sides BUT It’s been YEARS since we’ve had family photos and that’s ONLY because my husbands oldest is 15 and things have been estranged between him and her due to issues between him and his ex wife. The only thing you’ll see is photos if we’ve had a holiday or are randomly out. Never something that was scheduled without her and the amount of photos we have with all of us without her that are random are not much higher. Obviously, that’s neither here or there but my point is, we have not EVER done a family photo together without ALL of our children in it. Hell, had them as soon as we got married and she was in ALL of them. Same when I got pregnant and did maternity photos. We were having to fight for visitation and dealing with her being withheld for months at a time and I still held off and scheduled last minute photos on the days we happened to randomly get her, just so we would have them and she was in them. You’re going into this all wrong if you plan on being any sort of step-mother and quite frankly, if you can’t be accepting and including of his children, that just shows you where your line is for all children and who this is REALLY about. 99% of the time I normally see the step moms side when they come to vent or ask for advice on these things but this….this I do not understand. Maybe if it were YOU with your kids but why you, yours and HIM but not THEM?!?! This isn’t some side gig. You’re about to sign up for shit that will make you be everything to that child but their actual biological parent. If you can’t include them now, don’t waste anyone’s time and sure as hell don’t bring your kids in to side and support you once they see you alienating his children and decide that it’s alright to do too because Mommy says/treats them like that so why can’t they? You’re showing your children they mean more than his, even if unintentional, and creating even more problems for you later on in the future. Just call it if you don’t see his children as just as much of a priority as yours. You’re allowed to have boundaries and want respect but what you’re not allowed is to do is choose to blatantly alienate his children and then come to a MOM group to ask how the best way to go about it, would be. I’ve never been disrespectful on these posts but HOLY SHIT. Are there really women who are so oblivious to others feelings, let alone a child’s?!?!
Ask him flat out, if it’s an issue you’re having he needs to know how you’re thinking too before it becomes a problem down the line
There is so much wrong with you.
Why not make them both set. All the time then no one will feel lift out
Update when you tell him
Bc we already know how this will play out
I can’t even imagine your thought process
All kids should be included in my opinion
Like someone else said you should totally do him the favor of talking to him about this before the wedding so he can see what a piece of shit step mom you’d make.
By marrying him you are all becoming family and you should be thinking of his kids as your kids.
What did I just read? Pathetic! Your soon to be needs to find a new wife….