I want to know who is around my child, is that normal?

Unless your papers say otherwise baby daddy can let your child meet whoever whenever.

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Do you introduce everyone of your friends to him before allowing them around your child? When he has the kid, itā€™s up to him who he has around. As long as that person isnā€™t a risk, and not left alone with the little one. I Honestly donā€™t see an issue.

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You have every right to know whoā€™s going to be around your child.

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With so many SOs hurting & killing their bf/gf kids you have a right to be concerned & know whoā€™s around your kids.

Are visits ordered through court? If not withhold the child until he petitions for rights. If/when he does or if they are ordered you need to put in the agreement that you meet any friends, SOs, etc that he will be having around your child. Add that a criminal check through the court or police station will be done on each person & that you both have to approve of that person. Also put in first right of denial. It means that if you or he canā€™t care for the child they have to contact the other parent first. Basically he canā€™t take the child for ā€œparenting timeā€ & not be the 1 parenting.

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Funny how his judgement is in question when you break up.

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Unfortunately you can not dictate whoā€™s around your kid on parenting time unless you have it in a court order. Just like he canā€™t dictate whoā€™s around the child when you have the child . Goodluck.

You are both equal parents thatā€™s true butā€¦ā€¦ I would dig around and find out what the person she actually isā€¦ good or bad

Let your child grow and realize the kind of person their father is on their own

As long as your kid isnā€™t in danger or being neglected then just live your life and let them decide who their dad is as they grow up

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My ex and I have that agreement with our children. We both want whatā€™s best for them and to know who is around them. Itā€™s not in writing but weā€™re both adamant about it. Even though we live states away we always discuss and even if itā€™s not in person we agreed to a virtual meet before the children get involved. It hasnā€™t happened yet but itā€™s been discussed and I agree with you 100%. I wouldnā€™t say confront him but definitely bring it up in discussion again civilly.

While I do get where you are coming from, and I understand your concerns, you cant tell the other parent who they have in their lives and when. Most likely a judge will tell you the same. If anything, you can try an get your concerns out to him and maybe even talk to the chick, but if they wonā€™t do it then unfortunately there isnā€™t anything you can legally do and keeping the child from the father isnā€™t a good solutionā€¦

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Iā€™m still with the father of my children but if I was not I would definitely want to know who the hell is around my children. I donā€™t trust anyone but close family. Go that extra mile for your childā€™s safety, you are their mother, their protector.

Courts wouldnā€™t side with you on this. Opinions on dating post seperation are varied. Denying visitation is only deemed acceptable in severe cases like when the safety of the child is at stake. Otherwise you have to bring it before the court and try to sort it out.

You can try to get a clause about facing added to your court order if he makes it a habit to bring new people into his life frequently. But qheat ever clause would be approved would most likely apply to both parties and could carry fines at the very least if violated.

It sucks that heā€™s not trying to make it easy on everyone, especially the child. The child does need to be eased into new relationships. I agree with you there.
But the reality is that he doesnā€™t have to. And that can be hard to swallow.
And Iā€™d hate for you to get I trouble trying to withhold visitation when thatā€™s not technically a good enough reason to.

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I donā€™t see any harm in you meeting them. They are going to be a big part of your childā€™s life

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Your not allowed and itā€™s control. People need to back off. And realize that itā€™s his time both yā€™allā€™s child. Unless child is in harm signs of harm etc. You need to let him have time with his other parent.

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You within your right to know the person whose around your son it is your business my grandkids suffered because of my ex-son in law so call common law wife your trying to be civil about this not nosey jbeing protective within your right and your sonā€™s best interest

You have every right to know whose around your kiddo

As much as it sucks there is nothing you can do about it. He can have whoever he wants around your son as long as no harm is being done. I get where you are coming from though.

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While it would be nice for him to respect what you ask and work with you he doesnā€™t have to. When itā€™s his time unless this person is a danger to your child you really donā€™t have a say in who he brings around. He doesnā€™t have to introduce her to you. If you trust him to take care of your son you should trust what he does. You could try to keep the child from him but thatā€™s a bit extreme. You could also go to court and try to get a judge to agree no new significant others around for both for a certain time period. But after that time period you canā€™t stop him. Iā€™m not even sure I judge would do that, some might but some wonā€™t. I do understand you wanting to meet her any everything itā€™s just unfortunately not what he wants to do.

Myself AND Dr. Phil would agreeā€¦
Why let your child get attached to someone who is going to leaveā€¦?

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Unfortunately thereā€™s nothing you can do. My ex met a chick at a bar while I was home raising our daughter and brought her around our daughter probably immediately like it was no big deal. She could be a drug addict or whatever and thereā€™s nothing you can do as a parent. Just supposed to trust the other person and hope for the best. Good luck.

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Itā€™s non of you business, unless thereā€™s evidence of abuse you donā€™t have a say

Honestly you gotta put some faith in your exā€¦I know thatā€™s hard because they let you down but they havenā€™t let down your child. My ex and I havenā€™t been together for I while and Iā€™ve been with my husband for 3 years. You have to trust his judgment and let him be a parent. If you donā€™t think hes gonna put him in danger then donā€™t worry about it. You want to know if your kids will bond with the other person long before you get serious. That doesnā€™t mean a new man or woman every week by no means but after a month or soā€¦I donā€™t see the harm in meeting new ā€œfriendsā€

Just let it go. You can make requests but you cannot control what he decides to do.

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The thing is, even with a court order you cannot control who the other parent has around the kids. What they do and who they have around on their time is out of your control, unfortunately.

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He may be wrong, but when at dads visitation you canā€™t control it. If the courts are concerned it can be supervised visitation

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Honestly. Thatā€™s what my ex said too.
He didnā€™t want ā€œall my boyfriendsā€ around our son.

Turns out, the guy that Iā€™ve introduced to my son, (the only guy I started dating after my ex) is now my husband and we share a child together. While he has introduced 2 of his girlfriends to our son. Heā€™s with neither of them
I havenā€™t said anything.

You do not get to choose or know who your kid is around on the other parents time. While yes, itā€™s normal to want to, you still donā€™t get to.

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Unfortunately you donā€™t have much of a say who your ex brings around your kid unless they are a sex offender or a drug addict or something. I had five boys with my ex husband. He cheated on me constantly. One of the girls he cheated on me with was around my boys immediately after we separated. However it didnā€™t last. He had a new girlfriend pretty much every month. As my boys got older we used to laugh about it, saying we donā€™t even remember their names anymore because they wouldnā€™t be around long enough. Try not to let it bother you and be the role model you want your children to see in regards to relationships. I only brought one guy around my kids and now heā€™s my husband.

I hate when people wanna say ā€œunless the kids in danger itā€™s none of your businessā€ well how the hell would she know if heā€™s in danger or not if she hasnā€™t met the girlfriend. It may be his time but he could be courteous to the mother of his child because Iā€™m sure if it was the other way around he would have an issue with it.

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I would just let him know that you know but donā€™t donā€™t put your emotions in it. You both need to build a trusting coparenting relationship for your son. I would also ask to meet the woman, but have the expectation that it may not happen.

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In my opinion
To just let it be
You do have every right to be concerned or mad
But the minute she or he gives you a reason to be concerned then put your foot down

You have every right to meet the person whoā€™s going to be in your sonā€™s life, and absolutely correct not wanting your son around a " Random fling" ECT.

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I agree you should know who is around your child and meet them ā€¦sadly I dont think you have any say when theyā€™re with your ex unless your child is in danger

Not your business what happens on his time is his time your time is your time. If u see a judge they will tell u the same thing. You are not in control anymore. Going through a battle right now with my husbands ex who has ran and hid with his kids all because he moved on and she was not happy about it even though she moved on ummm with I think this is her 4th guy (yes brought around the kids) along with dating 2 at the same time brining kids around both. She was Refusing visits, refusing talks, refusing any type of relationship with his kids all because he wouldnā€™t listen to bitter baby momma on who he could and could not date who she wanted and donā€™t want around their kids. Now fast forward, court coming up she facing losing them for abducting and alienating him. All because she didnā€™t want him to move on.
Example
As long as she is there your not seeing them
As long as your with her, over my dead Body will u be with them,
She is not driving you to see them
She can not take u anywhere to be with them
They can not talk as long as ur together we will never have a relationship( well duh)
Might I add SHE HAS NEVER MET ME, we offered she REFUSED! She has done nothing but degraded my children and I from the moment she found out about me. sent me nasty messages, old naked photos of my now husband.

I can show you hundreds of messages, threats her keeping them away. You canā€™t do that it is not right ! Not your place ! He should say the same about who u date! If there is a issue see a judge. Not FB! Not hold a child as a pawn because your not in control of who he is with. It is a part of life !

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If you have full custody than fuck him and his whores. He kicked you and a little boy out, heā€™s scum.

Itā€™s totally normal and expected to want to know who is around your kid and to want him to only introduce serious partners to your child as you are right it is hard on the kids to be constantly meeting and getting attached to new people that then leave. but ultimately in a situation like this you unfortunately donā€™t have any say into who he has the kid around or introduces them to while the kid is with him unless thereā€™s an actual safety/neglect issue.

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You are within reason. Iā€™d confront him & tell him you know. The one thing my kids told me was they hated it when my x husband was questioning them if I was seeing someone. Leave the kid out of it. If necessary & you have the info call her, explain who you are & that youā€™d like to meet in a public place for coffee & explain your concerns. If sheā€™s a good woman she will understand your concerns & get her viewpoint on things only concerning your child. If he is not willing to give you some info like her name then tell him if he has a date with so & so bring your kid home. Donā€™t make this kid part of a half assed relationship. If she seems like she cares about your child then breath a little bit easier, but he/she should always be both of yours biggest priority.

Unless itā€™s court ordered he can have his child around anyone he wants.

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You can ask the courts to put it in order that neither parent is to have new partners around the child until the relationship has been established for more than (up to) 6 months. But there has to be a pattern of multiple short or unstable relationships in which your child has been subjected to. (I have it in my child custody order)

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My ex husband has our 4 year old talk to his gf from the Philippines. :woman_shrugging:t3: Pisses me off, but thereā€™s literally nothing I can do. Now, if she hurts my kid then thatā€™s a different story. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Honestly, let it go, itā€™s out of your control, and stressing about it, will just bring you down, if you have safety concerns, then by all means, go via court to keep your baby safe.

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Take him to court and make a custody agreement,in the agreement have it state neither of you can have people around your child (ren) without the other knowing and meeting that person .me and my SO are together but have an agreement in place and it states that and if one breaks the agreement even in that way the other can go for full custody,it isnā€™t about being bitter ,itā€™s about wanting to know who is around your child for your childā€™s health and safety in every aspect !

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You do have a right to know, heā€™s a minor child and no court will allow him to have parenting without knowing who all lives in the home (been there done that) especially if he works and the child must stay with his or her partner during that time. Seek a parenting order, mediation or whatever it takes to make sure you know your son is in good hands during his parenting time. My ex would pick up our child and then the gf was left to take care of her kids and mine while he wasnā€™t even home and traveled for work, long story short I requested a full blown custody evaluation & they found him to be the secondary parent in his own homeā€¦ therefore the court admonished him and told him that he could not have parenting if he had to leave for work during his parenting time. You have to know who is with your child as there are sex offenders every where, men or womenā€¦. Yā€™all never know so the childā€™s safety comes first!

I appreciate this sentiment so much, as itā€™s my situationā€¦ unless clearly defined in the court order, we can do nothing. Take him to court if you have a gut check to question his ability to keep your child safe.

You canā€™t legally tell your ex who can and canā€™t be around your kid. No judge will rule in your favor on that unless the person poses a real danger to your kid and you can prove it.

He kicked you & his own child out?? You didnā€™t say if you were married. I would probably limit his visitation if their is no court order. If he cared so much about the child, you wouldnā€™t have been kicked out.

Confront him about it or just drop by and check on your boy.

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You can be his stability. His safe place where there arenā€™t people in and out of his life. Keep your home stable. But the more you try to control what dad does on dadā€™s time the crazier it will make you.

go to court, get a parenting arrangement, put that stipulation in for both parties