My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now… we had a 1 year old daughter… we started dating when the pandemic started so technically we only get a chance to be with each other (dating) 3 times only before i got pregnant… we lived together. i work from home .take care of our daughter and do some household chores from time to time.
I feel bad when usually go to his friends to drink or what not… it seems that there are more times he likes to go drinking with them compared to him asking me for a date.
i think im jealous of his time… i cannot see the effort that he wants to make time with me… we had a talk few months that he is not sexually attracted to me but he loves me and our daughter .i already accepted it and kept quiet about it and feel the pain on my own… but i dont see any efforts that he wants to be with me or spend time with me…
i know he is depressed about money about losing his job . about having a baby. about many resposibiities. .
so do i let him do what he wants to and enjoy from time to time with his friends?
how about me… i stay at home 24/7
i feel sad and alone , lonely and empty
what can you say guys… any same situation? how did you handle it?
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Drop him…you have to do you to be the best mom you have to be happy. He’s a waste
If he’s not sexually attracted to you then who is he sexually attracted to is he going out and using the friends as a cover up to be with somebody else
Why are you still there?
You need to leave that man and focus on ur child. You didn’t have a baby because it was planned out of love. He probably feels trapped with u because of the baby. Why do you want a man who isn’t attracted to u? Do u realize ur child watches every interaction between the 2 of u and one day will apply what she sees to her life. Would u want your daughter with a man who doesn’t find her attractive or doesn’t spend time with her? I’m guessing not… so why would u want that for yourself?
I know this isn’t really relevant but contraception seems to not be in existence or frequently fails in so many people’s lives. 3rd date and having sex without protection? Another child to parents who don’t really know each other. Another split family and within two years the situation will repeat and there will be two children and two daddies. He feels trapped, depressed and so do you. Get counselling, help him find work or you find work outside the home and he helps more with being the at home parent. Another male being a boy child,
Why are you ok with being with someone who’s not sexually attracted to you!???. Leave him! You deserve a man who worships every inch of you! You need to Love yourself!
Move on. Find a new guy. Get to know the next one first a little better though, before moving in and having his baby.
Never let a man tell you twice he doesn’t want you… okay byeee
Today must be “Brood Mare” day, this is like the 3rd post today where a woman is putting up with men starting off with normal intimacy and then drying up after a child comes along, my gramma used to say “you’ll end up with what you’ll put up with”, dont accept his bullshit
why is this even a question he’s basically told you he doesn’t want to be with you by saying he’s not attracted to you. move on
If he cant/won’t give you what you need then why stay? You can coparent without being together. And why have your child grow up in a household without love between the parents?!
I’d leave. Seems your pretty independent and are doing it on your own anyways. Plus, why would someone “love” you but not he sexually attracted to you? Is he getting some from elsewhere? That would be my first guess honestly.
You need to leave him. He doesn’t want to be with you. You’re just comfort, someone to take all the responsibility while he has none. That won’t change. At least you won’t have to take care of him or deal with him his crap.
Very irresponsible of you both to bring a child into this situation! To late now though so pack your shit & go! Don’t stay & teach the child this okay bc its not!
You’re already alone when you’re with him, may as well be single and get some hearty sausage on the side lol.
What he wants is to not be put on child support, that man doesn’t love you, I could never be with someone who admitted they weren’t attracted to me, you’re setting yourself up for even more heart break
… um him verbalizing that he is not sexually attached to you but “loves” you makes it sound he’s only sticking around because he’s comfortable.
I would personally end things and successfully coparent.
Didn’t end well for me! My ex never straight up said he wasn’t attracted to me but he did control our whole sex life, and refused every advance I made. He then invited 1 women back to our home we shared with our 1 yo in the middle of lockdown when he thought I’d be at work. I kicked him out 2 weeks later for lies and bull he was making life the worst! 2 days later he was with yet another women. So our 4 year relationship and our 1 yo were not enough. Don’t be in my shoes wandering what you did wrong. Leave with your self respect in tact.
Why are you wasting your life?
If he’s not sexually attracted to you, he lost his job ( I hope your not paying all the bills) you take care of your daughter 24/7 he comes and goes as he pleases, you need to end this relationship and find someone who wants to be with and loves you for you. You and your daughter deserve better.
I think you’re pretty young to start off with, it’s fairly normal to hang out with friends when you have kids. Not all the time, but I also quit partying when I had kids but still know people who do get out and do things with kids anyway. What you need to do is say hey, I’m gonna go here tonight for a couple hours and I’ll be back later. If you can drink responsibly and not drive that is. Have him hang out with baby then.
I’d be more concerned that he’s not attracted to you.
I couldn’t be with someone that’s not attracted to me I guess the only good thing is that his been honest about it and left the ball in your court
I couldn’t be with someone that isn’t attracted to me. He can love you and not be with you and you shouldn’t settle. I settled and wasn’t happy and it took forever to be strong enough to realize I was okay without him
This question is stupid…Really move on!!!
You need to move on! He is NOT there for you
Sounds like hes wanting a more platonic relationship rather than romantic. Cut your losses, coparent and call it a day
I would get a job, find childcare, and move on. Sounds like you’re trying to fix something that doesn’t work.
You answered your own question your wasting your time and life find some one that loves you and your baby girl , he needs to find another job instead of hanging with his mates and stop sponging off you
You need to live your life, he is very honest and not attracted to you. Time to call it what it is, you’re roommates and need to end this painful pretend life. Get a Plan together on how to co paraent and go your separate ways as soon as possible. You need time to heal so pls do not go looking for dates immediately. Learn to be you as a mom without him and his toxic behavior around
You got pregnant after 3 dates it’s like you trapped him he did not have a chance to know you. Of coarse he dose not love you the way you want tell him to go and see if he wants to comeback after he has time to think do not get pregnant again do not do not. Do not men want to pick there wife’s not get trapped you are a good mom and good person you just got confused
Communicate with him. Really talk to him let him know how you are feeling.
Are woman really this clueless…its just so so sad😔
Welcome to adulthood, honey. You need to decide what works for you and what doesn’t. Set some boundaries. Set some goals. If it bothers you, SAY SOMETHING. Don’t just put up with it. The problem with communicating is the approach and HOW and what you say. Most of these issues can be communicated through. The most concerning one here is he says he’s not attracted to you. That is a huge red flag, and completely disrespectful and hurtful. Love and attraction go hand in hand in this kind of relationship. You can’t have one and not the other, or the resent and anger grow from the affected part. I think he knows he is stuck. With no job and no way to provide for himself, he has no choice but to stay. You shouldn’t be “ok” with just being his roommate, house keeper, and child care provider. He should be all in, and it doesn’t sound like he is. He sounds checked out. Therein lies the problem. If he’s building a life with you, and now needs to escape it by going out and partying with his friends instead of being responsible and finding a new job… you shouldn’t be ok with that. Depression and anxiety are not an excuse. If it’s this bad, he needs to seek help. You set this boundaries if he won’t.
Yeah I would say leave him for sure if he makes no effort.
That’s a friendship not a relationship
Get a job. Move out. Someone will come around who is attracted to everything about you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve
My sons dad i was with For almost 6 years. He treated me like his mum than his partner and i never realised it until we split. He used to go out with mates from work but eventually he started being distant with me pushing me away and he was using the excuse of being at work late and going out to go Shag his new bit on the side.
Personally if i was you i would be out of there. He is using you especially when you know he isn’t attracted to you. Leave him and go be happy with someone else who actually wants you x
Its better to coparent separately and happy than together and miserable.
Need to make time for you
girl he is going to 100% cheat on you. just what your saying here. cut your losses and leave. you havent been together for hardly a spell and if its this bad now, its only going to get worse, run as fast as you can.
Dump the extra weight (HIM)
& get out & MAKE a life for you & your child…
I promise you will be much happier as a single mother, than being treated like this.
If he’s supporting you, stay and go to school. Get a job and then leave his ass. You can never get that time back. You deserve better and so does your daughter.
First, Everyone in this situation needs a J-O-B. He needs one for child support & to support himself. You need one to support yourself and your child. Second, 3 times seeing or being with each other before getting pregnant, is NOT dating. Both of you should have first got to know each other, your hopes, dreams, the good & the bad. Both should have taken precautions. Third, since you both skipped step 2 and produced a baby, you’re now facing the reality. He’s gotten to know you and is telling you he just wants to be friends. You’re getting to know him and need to listen closely. Time to move on before the hatred sets in.
You need to leave and find someone that loves you the way you deserve.
If he has no job and is living with you. And telling you he is not attracted to you. He is 
using you for a place to stay. Y’all are more roommates than a couple. Kick him to the curb. Get you a man that loves everything about you and your child. You can co parent without being together.
If he’s told you he’s not sexually attracted to you it’s time to leave him honey