If you have infertility, how do you deal with depression?

How do infertile women deal with the depression, especially when your friends have “mom nights,” and you’re not invited? It seems no one knows nor cares how lonely this journey is.


I had a bit of a down spell when my husband and i struggled and then miscarried. But I found solace in others happiness. I was so ridiculously happy for my friends who had their babies. And I celebrated with them and for them. Like it’s the same idea that if I could never get a job at a company that I wanted but my best friend did. I’d be happy for her and help her celebrate and live vicariously through her. This is easier said than done and takes some time to change your mindset to but it is possible and it’s what you need to do to help get yourself out of that funk. Celebrate the things that you do have, not what you don’t and find solutions for things you want to change. If you’re unable to carry, then look into adoption and make that your goal. Start saving, start planning and looking and researching. Put as much work into the other options as you would into trying to conceive. Its hard and won’t happen over night but with some counseling and positive mind training, you’ll get there.


I’m so sorry. I cant imagine how you are feeling :disappointed_relieved:
When something is heavy on my heart I start immediately thinking of possible solutions and alternatives. Adoption, surrogacy, fostering? Nothing can replace having your own child, but finding joy in other children is still possible! Be a teacher, work at a daycare, etc.
Again. I cant imagine how you feel. Your journey may not be what you imagined, but it can still be fulfilling and full of happiness

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Adopt. There are so many kids out there that deserve a loving forever home. Just a thought

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I’m sure there are support groups for those struggling with infertility and maybe even local in your area

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But when do you get to a point where you say…okay,we’ve tried,let’s try other options?Sorry for hijacking your post.

I wouldnt know as I’m not in the same boat as u but um be that one full on cool aunt that spends time with the kids love them like u would your own and when they are old enough as to have them for the night so mum and dad can have some time together you will find that u will love them just as much as you would if they were your own. I was a step mum before I became a mum and I still love her the same as my daughter. You could always ask ya sister if she would have a baby for u if you dont have one then maybe one of your friends or maybe even poor all your love into a cat or dog same kind of love and affection I hope everything works out for u :purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart:

Sounds like you need better, more supportive friends. If i were you, I’d try to embrace the things you CAN do because you don’t have children other than focusing on what you CAN’T do. I know easier said than done, but I find myself getting jealous of friends that can go on impromptu vacations or go out with friends and do adult stuff. You can be selfish when you don’t have children.

If your “friends” are leaving you out then find better friends who support you. As for the depression, it’s a good idea to find a therapist to help you work through the depression and treat it properly. Sometimes medication is needed to get us through the hard times.

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I can totally relate to this. Me and my husband have been trying for almost 11 years. I think you finally get to a point where you accept it but it never really goes away. Try to surround yourself with people you love and trust and leave the rest that just don’t care or understand. Try to live your life for you otherwise you will lose yourself. Keep your head up and keep trying :heart::heart:

I also learned over the years that talking about it and bringing awareness to it has helped a lot. Keeping it to myself destroyed me for many years. Talk about it and let people know what you are going through.

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