i’m expecting my first child. and i’m terrified. This baby was not planned, I was on the pill, but I still ended up pregnant. I am happy, but most days, I’m just full of worries. I’m 20. I feel like I won’t be a good parent, or I won’t have all those “mother instincts.” I am constantly worrying about everything. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to realize my frustrations or concerns, no matter how much I voice them. We aren’t financially in the greatest situation. But he is heavily against abortion, and in the beginning, I was against it too, but as I get farther along, everything becomes more real, and the more I see my baby and hear the heartbeat, I get scared. I have nothing for my child yet, and I do plan on having a baby shower, but I feel like no one will even show up. I’m so worried about not having the stuff I need for my baby or not being able to care for my child properly because I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a whole lot of kid experience, and next to zero baby experience. IDK I guess I just need some words of encouragement or advice. Thank you. to add: I do love this baby growing inside me, so don’t get me wrong on what I’ve said. I’m just really worried and stressed out about everything.
You were born to be a mother. Your instinct is inside of you. It will come naturally I promise. Its normal to be scared. But once you see that face you will do anything to protect it. Babies dont care if they have the most expensive crib or fanciest clothes. They care to be loved and nurtured. Trust me. Being a mother is the most incredible feeling.
These are all common concerns being a first time mom especially when the pregnancy is unexpected. Please don’t worry too much as everything will come together bas time moves on. It’s instinct. Focus on and enjoy your pregnancy. You are about to experience one of the most incredible feelings in the world.
I had never even held a baby before I had my first son, or changed a diaper even. It just comes to you once the baby arrives. As for things… I bought everything under the sun for newborns, and needed pretty much none of it lol. You’ll be 100% ok.
I was 20 when I had my first.
That was 40 years ago. Wow, time flies.
Anyway, 40 years, and 5 kids and 4 grandchildren later, I survived and so did my kids.
Relax and enjoy the journey.
You will be fine. Those fears tell me you will be a fantastic mommy to that lucky sweet baby of yours.
Sending prayers and warm hugs.
It’s definitely scary. I had just turned 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had only been dating his father for 3 months and he didn’t show much emotion when he found out. We weren’t in the best financial situation either and I was terrified. People’s judgements didn’t help either. But when I heard his heartbeat something inside of me just changed. Now here I am. 21 with an almost 2 year old who is amazing. Financially stable. In our home. And I’m expecting baby number 2 (I’m even more scared about this baby lol). All I’m saying is, I know you’re young, but this isn’t going to ruin you. This is going to push you to do more with your life. We are never really ready to become mothers. We just get up and do our best every day. I wish you the very best in all of this 
First off, have you thought about adoption? No one here will judge you if you do. That is sometimes the best option for babies. Second, I have a second hand baby store I frequent. Google some stores like this in your city. Many newborn clothes look brand new because babies don’t wear them that long. Post on your local parents page on FB, look on CL, there are several options for cheap gently used items. But first you need to decide if taking care of a baby is really something you guys can do. Please seriously consider your options
I was 19 when my first child was born. Completely unprepared to be a mom! She’s 27 now and has a 2 year old little girl. Check local yard sales for baby items. They outgrow everything so quickly. You’ll do just fine. It’s totally normal to feel what you’re feeling. You got this!!
First Congratulations! Don’t psych yourself out! I was 19 when I had my son and I was on birth control too. I had experience with kids but no one is ever really ready. Babies don’t wait for the best time, when you’re financially stable or emotionally ready. Just start preparing, a little at a time. You’ll be okay I promise.
I am about to be a 3rd time mother at 34… but my youngest is 9 and it’s been a long time since I have had to care for a newborn or baby. So I am terrified again to start over and to have forgotten everything and be starting over after a divorce with rebuilding. I can relate to the fear of finding out and not knowing what to do or what I wanted at the time. I am heavily against abortion but same the closer it gets the more scared I am. If you need someone to talk to, message me. I am also having a baby shower soon so if I get multiples of something, I wouldn’t mind sharing. 
The fact that you are worried and scared means your going to be a good parent. It’s going to hard atyo times, not gonna lie. We all feel the same no matter age or number of children. You got this.
The fact that you are already worrying shows your mom instincts DO exist. Parenting is the hardest job, by far. I don’t think any of us ever feel like we are ready, or good enough. But we get through it, there is always a way! I was 20 when I had my son as well, living with my boyfriend’s parents, working a dead end job. My son is 11 and now I have an actual career from where I plan to retire, married with a second child, and just bought our first home. 11 years seems like a long time, but trust me it’s not. You will find a way 
I was 18 with my first son it’s scary but once you give birth everything falls into play
I am 23 and had my first son a year ago. I was on birth control so it came as a shock, I cant tell you how many times I told myself I couldn’t do it and I was never gonna be a good mom. But when he got here it just kinda all melted away. Yes I am far from a perfect mom but I do what I can. My boyfriend lost his job right after our baby was born but you just find a way to make it. And also I have some baby stuff so if you’d like to message me you can 
I was 19 when i got pregnant with my son and had no idea how to be a parent but you learn, those mother instincts every one talks about do seem to kick in after you have your baby. I didnt have everything i needed for him until like the last few weeks of my pregnancy, even when i left the hospital i had to go shopping for things. You’ll never be fully prepared, maybe talk to your doctor about safe anxiety medication, that might help?
That’s where it all starts it’s love second is dedication third is sacrifice. You have the love and everything else will come. Praying for you and your baby
If you’re worried about being a good mom, you already are!
It’s natural to have all those feelings. But babies doesn’t care if they have a lot of stuff. If you can’t afford a crib guess what a dresser drawer works just fine for a new born. They really don’t need as much as some people say they need. Wish you luck
Listen I’m 21 and my boyfriend and I didn’t expect our daughter. We both worried about what we could do for her and everything. But once she was born, everything started to work out. If you message me I can give you places that helped us get everything before she was born and still help up. It helps my boyfriend and I a lot and doesn’t hurt our pockets much.
The fact that your worried shows that you’re already a good mother. As far as being things for the baby, all the fancy things out there aren’t a true necessity. All you really need is clothes, diapers, wipes and a safe place for baby to sleep. And the thing used till clean the nose from congestion, I think it’s called an asperstor
Sounds like you’re already a good mom!!! Welcome to motherhood… constantly worrying about everything and being the best you can be. Trust me you’ll get used to it and it will be the most rewarding experience in the world. But it takes time. It’s very important you give yourself time to adjust, don’t forget about yourself, do what makes you happy, and just do your best caring for your child. It seems HUGE until they’re 2 years old and they’re looking up at you with those eyes that love you so much. The fact you even feel this way means you’re already on the right track. Don’t psych yourself out mama, you can do it!!!
Congratulations!! Your going to do great! There is NO Manuel for motherhood, but the fact that your worrying already means you have everything in you to be a great parent! It’s hard, there is a ton of worry that goes alone with it, but everything just kind of clicks. I suggest taking a new parent class, it’s helpful with changing diapers and learning simple things. Hugs, I was terrified with my first, I just had baby two and now have a 2.5 yr old. Always remember, the nights may be long, but the years are very short!
You got this! Also look on market place and for kid baby Facebook pages on your area for free and cheap baby stuff. They grow so quick hand me down clothes are great! Also if you qualify sign up for wic now and don’t feel bad if you formula feed do what is best for you
You are gonna be fine, momma. You will adjust to being a mom when the baby arrives. As for the shower? I am sure your friends will come. Just register at Target, or any baby store and then let your friends know where you are registered at.
Babies need very little. It’s our society based on material objects that convinces you you do. Being scared is a good thing. Take all the services your eligible for like wic, food stamps ect. Social services can actually help you a lot for necessities like diapers, crib, car seat.
I thought you where doing great financially 
you don’t have to get all the things at your shower you know your the parents and if your financially doing well then even better buy everything you can so you and your boyfriend are choosing my husband and i were 22 we bought most of the big stuff for our son we got excited after the shower we began buying lot’s of clothes so we started getting bigger sizes from nb to 3t
What you’re feeling is completely normal, I had many years of trying to conceive to “prepare myself” and I was still terrified I wouldn’t know what to do. It’s hard to imagine now but your instinct will kick in once that baby is here. You also won’t know all the answers but you’ll figure it out along the way. Your pediatrician can be helpful as well as other mamas even if it’s on a group like this! Being a mom is a scary thing sometimes especially a first time mom but you’ll get the hang of it. Hell my son is 10 months old and I have another on the way and I still get scared that I’m not doing everything right!
Congratulations! I was 17 when I got pregnant. I had never changed a diaper IN MY LIFE. I didn’t think I had the motherly instinct, but you do. You already care and worry about your child. It will be okay. I’m 26 and having another. To save a lot of money, I did almost all of shopping on facebooks marketplace and offerup. Clothes, stroller car seat, crib. There are amazing deals in there to save you some money.
You got this !
You will be fine. Get your hands on a baby book. They will help you at the hospital before they release you. Are your parents or boyfriends parents going to help? You will be fine and their are drop in centres that can also help you.
Not sure where you live but I know there are programs here in WV that will help with baby stuff. Most of them are run by churches. Not sure if you have a Salvation Army in your area. But they should be able to give you a list of resources that can help you. And as for being a first time Mommy. It will be ok. I turned 18, 2 months before I had my daughter. Its our nature to nuture. Those mommy instincts will kick in as soon as you hold that sweet baby in your arms. Being scared is super normal. Theres 16 years between my kids and started all over again. I was scared to death. You can do this!!! Wait til you hold that sweet little baby!!!
Mama, I was the same way and I’m sure most new moms are. My husband and I’s baby wasn’t planned but it’s such a blessing to have a little one crawling and running around. You will do amazing, I can already see it just from your post. Keep your chin up mama. Communicate with your SO the best of your ability and just relax. You can always look for resources like WIC which will help you with all the necessary pregnancy nutrition education and they will give you a debit card strictly for certain food items at the grocery store. Once your little one is born, they will then put baby formula and baby food on that card for you to buy if you don’t wanna breast feed. There’s a ton of recourses out there for new time moms, you just gotta kinda peak around for them. You got this, just keep on doing what you’re doing. Reach out to family and friends for support! You will do awesome as long as you tell yourself you can do this! Congratulations mama!
I had my first at 17. Youll be fine. You wouldnt be a good Mom if you werent scared. Welcome to Motherhood ! Start buying baby things now .Baby stores should have a list of what you need for a newborn. Used baby stores and clearence items are the way to go. Dont depend on a shower to get your baby things .Buy a couple things a week . Your Mothers instincts will kick in ,and the hospital nurses are great . Take a bith class and sign up with your hospital early. Your gonna do fine believe me .
It is a normal mom thing you are gonna worry about that baby now and after being born I have 2 kiddos a 7 and 5 yr old and I worry. About them all the time I also just found out we are adding to our family I am expecting baby number 3 I am 5 weeks and so worried something is going to happen I stress constantly but that’s not good for baby you are doing what every normal mama would do just love that baby as long as it has you to love it it will be fine 
you will get what you need just take a step back and breath
See if your local hospital does new parent classes. I had my first at 18 and wad terrified as well. The classes definitely helped to ease my strezs
Totally normal to have these kinds of worries and let me tell you something, when baby is born and growing you’ll get different kinds of worries. Don’t stress yourself out, enjoy your pregnancy . Definitely have your baby shower. As you and your baby grow you’ll be able to figure out baby’s and your needs. Diapers onsies spit rags and the like. It’s fun getting new and gently used things to help in your journey and preparing or ‘nesting’ Smile mama
When I told my mom I was scared she said ‘girl if you aren’t scared you’re doing something wrong’ Being worried about what you’re going to be like as a mom is completely normal, that’s one of the ways we keep bettering ourselves. Mom guilt is an insane emotion, but that’s what keeps us on the right track to make sure we do the best for our kids. You’ve got this
Honey, if any first time mom says they don’t feel like you do, they’re lying. It comes pretty naturally. You’ll do great
You’ll do great your already worried about your child. Coming from a mom of 3 i wouldn’t go all out on a baby shower do more like a baby-bbq with very little decorations, that way after the baby shower if anything is missing you can just buy it instead of saying if i didn’t go all out on my baby shower i would have the money for this and this. I wish you and your s/o the best of luck. We don’t get a hand book on how to care for our children but as days go by you will understand your child and how to care for him/her. And every day you’ll love your child more and more you’ll have days where you feel like you could do better and you’ll have days where you feel like the best mom in the world . it’s normal and all completely worth it . my 2 year old actually just came to the room while i was screaming monster,monster help and scared and all he came to the room told me to give him my hand and ran me out of the room. 
. no matter if you feel like your failing they don’t see that they love you unconditionally , their love is pure !!
I was 20 as well when i found out i was pregnant with my baby. Honestly you never know if you are ready. Ask ur hospital about parenting classes. I wish i took them but i was scared to admit to myself i was having a baby until it all came together and everyone knew i was prego. So deep breath everything will be fine and if you’re still not sure about the baby you can always put her up for adoption
First of all stop … and take a deep breath…
I have 4 children and with every single one of them I felt this way. I stressed about being a good mother, about being able to provide, about everything!! And you know what it was fine… it all worked out. There are a ton of community resources available to moms expecting. Support groups are a wonderful thing! If you haven’t already apply for WIC they will be able to point you to a number of resources as well. You would be surprised at how little newborns actually need! You’ve to this, remind yourself of that every single day. Even if you don’t believe it at first … one day you will tell yourself that and believe it!
My oldest daughter was a happy surprise. Pregnancy was a possibility because we weren’t preventing it but we also didn’t expect it. I was 23 when I got pregnant with her and we weren’t really in a financial situation to have a baby just then. I did not feel ready at all. I did not think I could handle it. I was so scared. But as soon as she was born, it all came together. My maternal instinct kicked in immediately. I didn’t want to breastfed but ended up breastfeeding her for 3 years! She was the best baby (and still is the easiest kid at almost 11 years old). We purposely had another baby soon after her and later had one more. Everything has a way of working out. Just relax! As far as baby stuff goes, tbh you don’t need much- diapers, some clothes, blankets, a portable crib is fine in the beginning (it’s way easier to keep the baby in your room next to your bed at night fyi). Don’t stress about all the details.
It will come natural…also hopsitals offer newborn baby parenting classes…
First off, BREATHE. It’s ok mama. We’ve all been there with our first. Don’t rely on just the shower for things you need. Buy something with every check. Whether it be diapers, clothes, bottles, etc. Don’t worry bout big items like swings, bouncers, etc. While they’re fun for baby, they’re really not necessary, especially if you don’t have the funds for them. If you have to, sign up for link for food, WIC for food and formula. If you plan on breastfeeding, I just found out from WIC yesterday that with your medical card, you can get a pump “prescribed” from your doc and then turn the form into WIC n voila. You’ll be ok mama. You worrying just means you want to be the best mama you can be to that precious lil baby. Take it a day at a time. You’ll feel completely different when baby is here
I was also 20 when I had my son…very little money…you will get shower and gifts when baby is born…dont sweat it.
Just relax and you will know what to do when your baby finally arrives. Just love that baby unconditionally and you be a great mom
The fact that you are worried about being good parent means that you are the best mother that a child deserve.
Buy used! It’s fantastic, many things my child has are secondhand. Why spend full price for clothes they’ll outgrow in weeks or months? Why spend $50+ on a walker when someone has a good condition one for $20?
I was worried and overwhelmed for a good chunk of my pregnancy, but so far he’s 6 weeks old and thriving. Don’t be afraid to seek community resources: WIC, Medicaid, YWCA and other support groups that help educate you and give you supplies. It may feel foolish to seek assistance, but honestly it just helps give your child a better life while giving you more confidence and a sense of security.
You will be fine babies are a learn as you go
I was/am 31. I tried for 13 years finally got pregnant for her dad to relapse on heroin. I was told the entire time id be a bad mom ect. Made me feel it was true- to the point iwas conciderjng puttjng her up for adoption- here I am 3 months in to being a mom and everytjing fell into place. I got out od a bad situatjon, moved in w my parents and inwouldnt be happier. Just breathe and it will fall into place! I know thats hard to do. Try looking for donations, baby corners, used baby things! My work truly blessed me thet gave me so much if it wasnt dor my coworkers i do not know what i would have done!
Message me if you need to talk!
I found out at 29 weeks that I was gonna be a first time. And with 4 weeks left to go… I have those concerns as well. Especially after hearing her heartbeat and the ultrasound. But you’ll do fine. As long as you have a good support system you’ll do even better. It takes a village and don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s what I keep getting told.
The fact that you care to reach out says a lot!! Ask questions. Listen. You will get some "can’t do without " advise and some “what the heck” advice. Be thankful for all, use what works for you. You can look up videos on babies, parenting, baby songs, bonding etc. Everything really. Mostly it’s instinct. Best of luck to you.
I had all of the same worries even though I became a mom in my 30s. Once I realized that there is no such thing as being prepared for baby, I felt a lot better. Parenting is just trial and error over and over again. And now that you’re going to be part of the mom club, you have a lots of resources. I’d recommend joining a local moms group and posting that you need baby supplies. They’ll be able to lead you to community resources and will probably offer help themselves.
There is hardly ever a “right time” to have a baby. I was 20 when my oldest was born(she’s 8 now) and man is she the best thing ever (and her 4 year old sister) I was also on the pill when I got pregnant with my oldest, although some days I would accidentally forget. Towards the end of my pregnancy I had literally all the same worries but as soon as they put her in my arms I realized I should have never doubted it. You will be ok. Hang in there! It is totally normal to stress. That means you’re already a great Momma because you already care so much
You are bringing life into the world so your concerns are valid. I was pregnant w my 1st at 20 also…I thankfully had a supportive family on both my n his side. She is now 14 n my worries now are more so than back then. I now at 36yo have a 10mo…quite an age gap huh lol. The baby shower will help. U only g2worry about the necessities rn. If u breastfeed, u dont g2worry about bottles and formula for the moment…also, onesies are a huge help…diapers…wipes…bassinet/crib it all sounds overwhelming, but u will get there w the help of family n friends. Also, u can get assistance from the state. In Mass, there is WIC, Snap, and TAFDC benefits that will help u. I’m pretty sure all states have that help. It will come in handy. U got this mama. The mother instincts are instincts…so therefore u will know when it happens…not ahead of time. Keep that head up high n take it day by day.
The best advice I ever recieved…and I have 2 children now…is that you will NEVER be prepared but you’ll be ok. And guess what…we are ok.
Trust this, wait til that baby is in your arms. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and now that my son’s almost 8, him being an infant seemed like a breeze 
you got this Mama
NONE of us are ever prepared. Just read all the books you can, be around babies as much as you can between now and the birth. Maybe volunteer at the church nursery and .take a prepared childbirth class. Know that your natural instincts will kick in. You will certainly make mistakes, we all did but trust in yourself and know you will do your best and your confidence wil grow. My mother was a bad mother (she gave us up when I was age five) but that did not affect me in the least because I wanted to do the best by my son.even though I was only age 23. I wanted to be a good mother and I was.
Look into a “HANDS” program or pregnancy center, where I’m from the hands program come out and help teach you stuff that you may not know and the pregnancy centers usually have a program where you can attend their classes for 1 hour a week or so (it’s been 6 years since I done it) and give you stuff to help with baby. I got baby bedding, bottles, bed, carsest, clothes and a few toys. My two were not planned either, I was told I couldn’t have kids and if I did I wouldn’t be able to carry full term, got pregnant had a miscarriage went on the pill and 1 month later got pregnant with my daughter. After she was born I went back in the pill and used condoms and still got pregnant again when she was 8 months old. So I used the Hands with my first child, and then the pregnancy center with both kids
I had my first child at 20. I now have 3, it may not have been planned but you can never really fully prepare for a baby, as long as you are always doing your best for that baby, you’re a fab mum. You’ll do great, the fact you’re worrying shows how great you’ll be 
My Gramma always told me that the minute you have a baby you will never have enough money and never stop worrying, but it’s worth it.
The fact you are already worring about your baby before he or she is here says alot
You will do amazingly I’m sure
Buy second hand and you will get a stupid amount of gifts buy little bits when you have some spare cash
Every parent feels like this at times but Rose to the challenge and do just fine
Breathe sweetness. You are going to be the best mom. You are going to rock a hair bun, sure miss a few showers and maybe pray your eyes can close to finally sleep. But you are gonna be the best mom. You got this sweetness. 
This is one of the truest things about “becoming a mother”
I was 21 when I had my 1st & pretty freaked. But she’s 39 now so guess I did something rite lol. There are plenty of s kinds of assistance you can apply for. WIC will help with healthy foods for you while pregnant, & formula for your baby. You can apply for food stamps. Check out yard sales they always have baby clothes & baby items. Some churches have assistance programs. Salvation Army has food banks. You’ll be ok sweetie everybody a little scared having their first child
It’s been 14 yrs… I’m still not prepared lmao
Just take it day by day. Possibly see now who would be interested to go to your baby shower and get a invite list for when ur ready for your shower and look for some pay it forward group pages in your area and other resources on where to get used free or cheap items. If you got a once apon a child store near you, check it out. And I use to get good advice and help from a Christian mommy group. And see if you could possibly babysit some other mamas kids and babies to get use to having a kid around and getting some experience
Girl I feel this! I got pregnant with my first at 20. Didn’t have a job and freshly moved in with my husband (boyfriend at the time) and at the middle of the pregnancy he lost his job and we had to move in with my grandparents. He was job hunting and by the time he finally found a job it was the same time I was scheduled for a c section. 
I was freaking out to say the least. All went well tho and now he is 2 1/2 years into his job, we have our own place again and I’m now a 23 year old mom with a 2 1/2 year old son and a 5 month old daughter. What I’m trying to say is no matter how hard and stressful may seem now, you got this!
Perfectly normal to have these feelings. Once the baby comes along you and your bf will figure things out. Children do not come with instructions lol something my mother always told me. As for finances, the most you will spend on will be formula, if you choose to formula feed, diapers, and Wipes. Clothes and toys you can get cheap by buying second hand. I got most my children’s things through FB market. Somethings I do buy new, like shoes socks, etc…
Oh my gosh girl! Take a pill. My wish is for a healthy child. They are a lot of work but worth it. You will be tired, it’s natural. In my day, it was normal to start your family in 20s. Now you MUST nurse. If you can’t it’s OK to bottle feed. The first 1to3 months it’s eat, drink poop repeat. Accept help. My 1st kid was premature. It was like taking home a puppy. I kept waiting for him to do something. Nope, eat drink poop change. Take naps. Recover from the birth. Enjoy the miracle of a newborn changing into a new person. You will do fine and let his father be part of the work/fun. Take a nap.
Take a deep breath and relax. You will be a great mom. Read about infants and if you can be around some babies that would help. Check on prenatal classes so you can meet other soon to be moms. You are on an amazing journey and it will only get better when you hold your sweet baby.
Nobody is ever truly prepared. And there’s so much crap on the market that they make you think you need, but you don’t. As long as baby is fed, clothed, in dry diapers, and has a safe place to sleep and a carseat to come home in, that’s all they really “need” everything else is extra and for convenience sake more then anything. Check locally for agencies that help with carseats, clothing etc. And definitely apply for WIC asap if you haven’t yet incase breast feeding doesn’t work out bc formula is the most expensive thing in the first year if you go that route. Buy diapers and wipes in bulk, it’s a bigger initial investment but will save you tons every month.
You literally need so little to raise a kid, baby doesn’t care if you have the latest bouncer/gym/swing, literally just get a nice blanket to put on the floor and a wrap so you can carry baby around with you and you’ll be set 
I buy a pack of diapers and wipes every paycheck too
I was pregnant at 20 too, with my second baby, I didn’t know I was pregnant with my first untill we discovered I was having a miscarriage. I just hurt so bad physically and emotionally. I had nothing ready for my baby either. I know how you feel, and the worries. have the shower and invite everyone you know and even church people if you can. I’m sure they’ll help how they can. stay strong for your baby. if you can, find a job to save up until baby is here.
What you are feeling is normal. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first one. I was so scared and worried I wasn’t fit financially nor did I have a stable home. Luckily I had family that bought stuff for my baby but even though they bought stuff for her I felt as though I still didn’t have enough stuff. Which I ended up getting my own place 2 weeks before I had her and I had more than plenty of stuff for my baby. It’s okay to worry but everything will come together.
Babies don’t come with instructions if you love and want this baby things will work out if not consider adoption lots of ppl can’t have children and would love to have one abortion is murder the baby has a right to life
We’ve all had first babies and we all go through this there is no perfect way so relax and love your baby
I was petrified with my first too,I’m 27 and thought I can’t do this!!
I wanted kids and she was planned but I was still terrified that these mother instincts were not a thing!!
But they totally are
All through the pregnancy and more so now that she’s here
Have faith in yourself because I didn’t have faith in myself and my little one is doing just great 
If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me
Your going to be just fine… every ftm or any mom in general worry about everything your worrying about now. It’s all normal what your feeling…
I had my first baby at 30, and still had all the fear and anxiety you mentioned about not being a good mother. But guess what, 15, 20 or even 30, it all usually works out somehow. Not saying it wasn’t hard, because it definitely was, but you get through it, one day at a time. Surround yourself with good, supportive friends who can help out when needed, cause truthfully, we can all benefit from a helping hand now and then. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and just figure out what works for you. LOL I used Google a lot for all my questions and concerns!
I’m not one of those “perfect Moms”, but I do the best I can and my 2 kiddos now love me more than anything, and they are seriously the best decision I ever made!
If you’re just not sure you’re ready for all of it, even after the baby’s born, there’s always adoption as well. Something to think about.
Wishing you all the best!!! Hugs
My 1st wasn’t planned either. I was 20. And I was NOT excited until I was about 6 months along. I also had never held a baby or even seen one up close until my daughter was born. It is said a million times but it is true. Once you hold that baby you just know (for most). There is plenty of assistance out there to help financially! And the internet is full of mom groups for support. Just find the right one cause some are snobby af
Just FYI, pregnancy hormones can cause anxiety. It may just be your brain worrying about stuff that you wouldn’t otherwise be overthinking. Bottom line is, you’ll make it work and if you can’t, there are places you can go for help. And there’s always baby stuff on fb marketplace and for struggling mothers, other moms are usually more than willing to just give their stuff away to help. But I’d keep up with that anxiety and maybe bring it up to your dr. Everyone is kind of nervous the first time. But if it’s really terrifying, you may need help with that and it may get worse after or combine with PPD. So… just take care of yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. No one knows what they are doing, but we all manage.
Let me tell you from experience.
I got pregnant with my son at 27 & I had the IUD (copper, non hormonal). His dad and I weren’t together at the time. I NEVER wanted kids and always told myself I would get an abortion if I ever got pregnant, but all of that changed once I found out. I was just as nervous and thought I wouldn’t be a great mom because I was too scared to even hold, change, or bathe my nieces/nephews.
My son is now 8 months old and I’m loving every second. Mind you, it’s tougher for me being a single mom, but it’s doable.
Just make sure to ask people to purchase things in all size ranges, including diapers. If you know people that have had babies, then consider second hand stuff because they grow so quick! My son wears 12-18 month clothes because he’s so tall and chunky.
Good luck! I’m sure you’ll do great.
Do you have any family near by to help out? A mom, sister, aunt, cousin? All of that comes with being 20 and pregnant, it’s totally normal been there done that. I had my first at 19, my mom was my lifesaver. You’ll be a pro in no time.
Join some Facebook mom groups. Some help each other with clothes and baby items, trading out as babies grow. They are also good for the extra support you’re needing. Pregnancy help centers also help with car seats etc. You’re gonna be ok! It’s normal to be scared.
You’ll see that baby an fall in love like you never had before. You’ll be great everthing you need will be there. Relax because once its here you’ll never wanna put that bundel of joy down.
I promise you. You will figure it out. I got pregnant at 21. I was nervous but happy… hes 4 now and i also have a 3 month old. Take it day by day if you have to. Being scared is a great sign to me that youll already are a great parent. Heres my healthy babies. I wish you the best
NOBODY is completely prepared to be a parent, we all just muddle through and thankfully kids are resilient. I felt like I was possessed by aliens my whole pregnancy but once I had my baby it was overwhelming love. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” is a good book; just ignore any scary what-ifs. You are young and healthy and everything should go smoothly.
Babies need diapers, milk, warmth, sleep & love. Everything else is gravy. Baby can sleep in a drawer with blankets, breastfeed & pump and you don’t pay for lots of bottles and formula.
You might be surprised at how many folks are only too happy to dump their old baby/kid stuff on you. If anyone throws you a baby shower you will get tons of cute stuff.
Car seat is the only thing you need new, and you may be able to rent an infant one from the hospital and your car insurance company likely offers discounts on car seats.
The baby-industrial complex has us fooled into believing we need all this
It’s absolutely normal and natural to be scared or worried…It’s a sign that you love and want the best for your baby. No matter how much we prepare, we can never really be certain how things are going to be, as every baby is different. My four ‘babies’ are now from 38 to 44. Looking back, I think it was mostly a matter of learning who each of them is, and forming a relationship with this new person. To me, one of the most important things to know and remember is there is no “right way” to do things. You will figure out what works for you and your little one. Honestly they don’t need a lot at first… love, attention, food, shelter, sleep, a few diapers and clothes…
YOU will need support, sleep, good food, and sleep sleep sleep.
I hope you will cultivate some support…maybe some contact with other first time moms in your area.
As much as you can, remember to take a deep breath, relax, and take good care of yourself.
Congratulations !
Let us know how you’re doing.
Most health departments have programs to help new moms!
Almost sounds like me when I first found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I was excited. I was especially nervous! Just have faith in yourself as parenting is something like an instinct: it just kicks in the day you see your little bundle of joy. Of course you learn things along the way but the day you have your baby its like you just know. My boyfriend was this same way too. I was always worried about not having things nor experience to raise a baby. Ive had tremendous support from my family and sisters and friend though and thwyve all helped wonderfully with our transition into first time parenthood. One thing i alwaya told myself was to not atress about things because being pregnant and stressed isn’t good for you or baby. Best of luck!
Calm down you got this, in truth the only things baby needs is weather appropriate clothes, a safe place to sleep, food and a safe car seat. The WIC program can help with the food and thrift stores are great places to find the rest and in some areas police departments help with car seats.,I was 20 when I had my first and all I had was the car seat and some clothes when I had him but with time things came together and we made it. He is now the oldest of 5 and grown with his own family.
It is absolutely normal to be afraid and worried. I got pregnant with my first son when I was 16 had him when I was 17 and was absolutely petrified of becoming a mother, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be good enough. But I promise the first time you lay eyes on that beautiful little baby everything changes and I don’t know where you live but where I’m from they have this thing that’s an emergency pregnancy service that helps expecting mother’s get what you need for the child, you have to take classes to earn the stuff though ( like parenting classes, etc) they’ll help you, with diapers, carseats, clothes, etc. Maybe try looking into that and see if they have something like that where ever you’re from.
I just had my first baby on friday, he is a little boy and he is my whole world. I had just freshly turned 21 when I had him, and was terrified the entire pregnancy. I had some similar fears, as I didnt have much experience in the field of babies or even the aftermath of pregnancy but it was/is and experience I’m happy to be living. Mine is a preemie which is making it a bit harder but I like to believe my mother bear instincts are coming in. I’m very picky about things when they come to him especially with him being in the NICU. I luckily have a lot of support my way between my family and other mom friends.
- you well never be financially ready for a kid. You just make it work
- as long as you love your baby and try your best and get help if you need it, you will be fine.
The fact that you are worried and concerned IS A GOOD SIGN! Take things one day at a time and start preparing. It will all come together. Make sure you or someone is having a shower for you. Make a post online requesting help and donations of any kind to help you out. People will help.
The simple fact that you’re worried if you won’t be a good mama, already shows that you will be a great mama. You already love your baby, and you are concerned about whether or not the baby will have everuthing. From a mom of 3, it won’t always be easy, but I promise you, it will the most rewarding, and most beautiful experience of your entire life. I was 23 when I had my daughter, and I was terrified. Some days, I’m still terrified. We want to do so much for our children, and question if we’re doing all the right things. There is not one perfect parent. I’m sure your baby will be right were he or she should be. Best of luck to you my dear.
You should be scared. Having a baby is scary 
Keep in mind that there are a lot of things on sell your stuff that have baby items for cheep to the most expensive thing diapers and formula
Find a parenting class and see if you can go to it.
All my mum friends ask me ‘how do you rate this (insert baby product here)’ not do I have it… after my loss, I was told my second baby would be early, so I planned ahead, we bought EVERYTHING and we were still not prepared!
I don’t believe you ever can be… but babies don’t need much - a place to sleep, a few baby grows, some nappies, formula, bottles and steriliser, a car seat and love.
The fact you worry about being good enough will make you try harder to be good. I always worry that I’m not good enough, but my daughter is 9 weeks, fed, warm, content and healthy. Can’t get much better than that!
You can entertain baby with no end of cheap crap - a water bottle with pasta or rice, a rustle of a crisp packet, flashing lights, singing, window shopping and my nosey daughters personal favourite: staring out of the window