I'm a shy guy, how do I meet women?

I'm a 37 year old man who's lost his license. I have twin boys that are turning 12. I work 7 days a week and I'm a huge introvert. How to I meet someone? I live alone just me and my dog. I always feel lonely. But I can't to to woman. Put it this way, I'm the real life Raj from Bing bang theory. If I don't have a drink or two in me I can't talk to a woman.. please give me your advice.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm a shy guy, how do I meet women?

The biggest thing is stepping out of your comfort zone and just being you! The right person will come at the right time

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Therapy. Go in and see a counselor and figure out why you’re so shy and have them help you work through it to give yourself confidence

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first of all get your license back…no woman wants a guy that cant drive…second get some drinks at the local tavern/ bar/ pub/ lounge… buy the nearest pretty lady a drink and ask her for her number so you can hook up

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just be yourself :wink:. just tell them you haven’t dated in so long and that your shy or don’t know how to go about it. i’m the same way. haven’t dated in 10 years. just be sweet. no pervert crap lol. most women, not all, but most love a man that loves animals and their kids.

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Try some of the things raj tried!! Start w online dating!

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Besides online, I would say, you are going to have to step outside of your comfort zone maybe join a local gym, or book club, or something. Best of luck :heart:

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Dont drink…that becomes a habit you don’t want.
Just relax and be yourself. Try not to come across as desperately wanting a gf…just be friendly and the relationship will grow if its supposed to

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Try meeting someone online? Not a dating app but maybe a shared interest Facebook page or something ? It’s so much easier to talk to a new person that way.

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It doesn’t help if you look like Rocky Dent

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Get that license back, for starters. No one’s gonna want a man that she has to Chauffeur around.

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Some guy in St Louis named Collin has an entire website to set himself up dates. He’s all over the “things to do in St Louis” page. Maybe take a look into that idea :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Don’t focus so much of the negatives and think about what you do have to offer a relationship. Are you a good listener, problem solver, amongst the small population of men that actually know how to please a woman? Lol… the list goes on and on. Think about what you can bring to the table and how you can start working on solving your shyness and lisense as both with help you long term for your future. Maybe try a dating site so you can get used to some small talk and that before meeting up in person? Some people are more litteral through writing versus in person (I’m the same way)… and it’s not a bad thing, it just means you like to know what you are saying as you say it. I find I kind of have word vomit when I speak to people. It doesn’t always come out exactly as I would have liked it to.
You’ve got this man… don’t be too hard on yourself :slight_smile:

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Take your dog on walks that have other dog walkers. Some may be just like you. Tell them their dog is gorgeous. They won’t stop talking about how they agree with you. Make a dog walking date.

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Look for friends. If someone looks at you look back n smile. Practice saying hello to waitresses n others. Find a church or a gym. Say hi to lots of folks. Just today I had a guy say hi n start a conversation in the grocery store. Don’t look at it as looking for women… look at it as changing how people see you. Once you learn to be more open to talk n carry on a conversation without the alcohol then it will open you up to finding what you are wanting. Good luck

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I’ve always wondered if guys ever felt this way. I’ve been single for so long and I’m only 33. It’s so hard to meet someone when we have kids and life gets busy. My suggestion to you is maybe cut down in the working 7 days a week and get your kids involved in sports. Eventually you’ll meet who you’re suppose to meet: enjoy life in the mean time. Don’t work so much that you don’t have a life.

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Get your license back to start off.

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You have to go outside your comfort zone for sure… i
Id say have a friend hook you up and go somewhere fun… takes away from any awkward silence… omit the no dl thing and get it fixed asap

Online is best if you struggle. Get to know someone and then meet them in a public place to see how it goes. Just remember it’s easy meeting someone for the first time as you can have so many questions to make you interested in their life and get them interested in yours. The possibilities are endless. Good luck

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Volunteer at something local like a hospital or something with your likes in mind

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Just talk say hi :wave: see where it leads you

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Just get out there and be yourself. If you click go from there.

Go on Facebook dating put yourself out there and maybe somebody will want to go on a date with you I was in a relationship with a guy for 4 years who did not have license but had a car I liked him enough to take him to and from work and be committed to him maybe you’ll find somebody like that one day

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Walk your dog and then let them start the conversation!!! Dogs are chick magnets!!!

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Please start with therapy and/or a relationship expert…

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First of all… you need your license. It will give you more confidence if you’re able to pick a woman up for a date. If you lost it because of alcohol, maybe consider you’re in a different point of your life where working on yourself is more important. You want to be a whole person when you meet a woman. :heart:

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My advice is to not look for a relationship and figure out you, make yourself happy, then when someone does come along it will make sense and you all will just fit. Hobbies, interests, school even, volunteering… Fill your own voids and needs and once you are doing that you’ll attract a much much better partner anyway.

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You’re a father. At some point in your life you spoke to a woman to conceive those two. Try to remember how and then work on it. Don’t put yourself down. You can do it!

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Be brave like a Man should be and start by saying hello to the pretty women you meet.

Just go and hang out and say hi the rest will follow, women can sense these things

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Online is the easiest. I’m very shy myself and I used online dating and it was so much easier to talk to people. You get to pick and choose who you answer or who you reply to.

Dating apps. Online. Church?

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Do you have a hobby? Join a group at your local library. It will give you a starting point for a discussion, a mutual interest. At the very least you should be able to make a friend or two.

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No I’m sorry but not very good advice to go to a hospital 2 volunteer because there’s too much Cova and Delta viruses going on who wants to go in the hospital if they don’t have to, too risky

Work on yourself before you bring someone else into your life … get your license, hit the gym etc. Confidence will follow… get your act straight and women will come to you … (no disrespect but confidence goes a long ways

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You lost your license and have to have a couple of drinks to talk to a woman… nah! No red flags there.

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You lost your licence so you drink and drive, dont pay tickets, have siezures, or you commited a felony using a vehicle? so you got that goin for ya, plus your an introvert who is so shy you must drink to converse, and you dont have custody of your kids, you should print all that up on cards to hand out or maybe work on some of those issues, good luck to you

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Am single
Inbox me let chat

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Take deep breath you can try internet dating start talking on line first and go from there women just want a nice guy who will listen to them and who is considerate of their feelings

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The lack of a license and not having custody of those kids is what most would avoid, plus the drinking. Shyness is not a bad or undesirable trait. The rest is a guaranteed :woman: repellant.

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How the heck did you have twin boys?! It wasn’t by Chance…was it? You shouldn’t have lost the touch to ‘ flirt ‘ . That’s how many conversations start. Big way is to go walk your dog. Women are great about walking dogs and best way to start a conversation. Like… “ cute or big or beautiful dog you have” . How old is it? What breed if you’re not sure. Or relate to having had one. Or like me one time: I was walking my dog through a complex where I lived. A car came by and the car was a really sharp orange convertible and the driver was very nice looking. As he happened to drive slowly in front of me … I looked at him and “ nice car” …. he simply said “ nice dog”. We both were being genuine with no implication beyond that. As long as you can talk you can converse. Which can become dating at some other point and time.Enjoy your walk.

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Get on tinder or do what ever dating apps you use
Gain confidence talk to people who share your interests good luck you got this

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Just talk to them. We’re not aliens

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I had no idea there was guys on this group

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Well first try getting your license. I know for a fact. That’s the first thing a women would say to you. Then if there’s anything wrong with your car. That needs to get fixed. Do so. Try looking for a better place to live. If the environment isn’t safe. House gotta be nice and clean. No junk. Get rid of things you thing you need but that are not necessary. Trust me girls like a man’s man cave clean. With nothing else but furniture. Or else she will do it for you. And as for your children. If you don’t have custody. Well ask the mother of you can at least spend cuality time with them. Weather there’s baby mama drama or not. A good women would want a man to spend time with his kids.(Leaves a good impression of how much you do care for your children) Other than that. Trust me a she will leave. If you don’t have a good relationship with your kids. Leave the baby mama drama out.

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Some of the comments are unnecessary. First you do not know the circumstances of no license and as far as custody of his kids unless mother is deemed unfit or dead most mother’s have custody. So give the guy a break.

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Try dating sites to gain confidence

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Unless I’m reading wrong or don’t enderstand, it never stated that he lost his kids? Simply that he has twin boys turning 12

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You lost your license, need to drink to talk to women, and are depending on a woman to manage your emotions.

Dude… I’m saying this as nice as possible… go to therapy. That’s what you need, and possibly rehab. You need to make you healthy first. Not saying you have to be lonely the entire time. Just start with a therapist and they’ll help you from there.

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Advice…therapist before looking for a relationship

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I feel you on this post. I have a hard time meeting men. My ex was exactly the same way. He couldn’t talk to people unless he had a few drinks, he eventually turned into an alcoholic. Please don’t allow alcohol to be your crutch or use it to make your anxiety go away. 2 drinks can turn to 4 and 4 to 8. It’s a never ending chain of a bad cycle. I’m an introvert and I find it really hard to be in large groups. I would recommend smaller groups, it provides more intimacy and privacy to talk to people. I would find a social club with people more like yourself. If you like to read they make plenty of self help books on how to talk to others. Bars and clubs are not the ideal place to find a meaningful relationship. Libraries and churches are a very good start. Give yourself a break, not everybody feels comfortable in social situations. Things will improve as long as you make an effort to get out a little bit more. Relax, some women have a hard time talking to men too. I consider myself to be awkward when it s to the opposite sex. Good luck!

Try dating sites. Easier to talk on text. Be honest with girls. Tell them you are shy.

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I’ve met guys through guys on groups on Facebook. Been talking for yrs on messenger or what’s app. Only ever had courage to meet one. Still talk but distance was a issue. So join a few banter pages and get chatting that way then who knows. Im on a few groups if wanna be added just pm me x

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Lose ur license? How??

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Plenty of fish, match.com and a whole bunch of others. Times have changed and everyone is using technology now. Bars closed and clubs are for the young ones with no responsibility. The more you talk to people the better you’ll get. Good luck

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with a drink or two In you, I would not want to have anything to do with you. (1. Thati

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You are using that as an excuse to drink Alcohol. That is probably why you don’t have license. You need to take responsibility and grow up and try being a Man.

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Do not try dating site, they are not worth it. I met my fiance through my best friend in person. Try going out if you have a friend or 2. You may not like leaving your house but you need to try. Maybe go see a movie or go to a bar with a friend.

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Don’t be shy walk right up and talk to her, if she shows interest keep talking if not move on, they don’t bite you know!

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I’d say work on getting your license back first.

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Women like independence, not having your license is going to be a big turn off. My guess is you’re shy with women because you know your situation is difficult. Bust your ass, get your license back and you have the rest of your life to find a woman who fits in. Loneliness should be a motivator, don’t let it deter you. Fix it and level up.

I don’t understand the license part… why u put it out der… I get the telling how much kids u have part etc but not the license… can somebody explain to me cuz where I’m from men date without that… my last sons dad doesn’t have one… or is it another license he speaking of

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Everyone has trouble meeting someone decent,one time or another. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You work a lot, do you have a report with anyone at work? Asking someone you feel comfortable with might help you become more confident talking to strangers. Relax. You can do it.

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Awe… You honestly seem like a sweet guy. Try dating sites or church.
I hope that you find someone that will treat you well.

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This is why he can’t talk to women, cause some these comments are just bitchy!SMH go out with your dudes as a group and maybe some of there female friends to kind of ease yourself up to talking to women by yourself. You need to boost your confidence. As for not having a license, yea that sucks, work on getting that (back) and if a woman you meet is not understanding of the situation your in, whatever it may be, move on to the next because they’re are understanding women or there.

Work on getting your license back first of all. Women over 30 grew up listening to TLC my man.

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Try reaching out to a woman on the internet, maybe open a door for a future meeting

What do you like to do for fun? Hobbies? Join a group that does that thing.Go do them and introduce yourself to others in the group

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Stop working 7 days a week and put some time and thought in to it. How do you do anything working 7 days a week with twin 12 year olds?

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Dating app are marketing apps. They are bad options for dating.

Raj is a hottie though.

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take your dog out to a dog park, you might find someone there :grimacing:

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Best to start online. Easier to talk to someone and get to know them.

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Start by hanging out with a group of friends and see where that lands you, good luck!

I met my husband online on POF. Definitely worth a try. I was having trouble meeting people so I tried online. Although I was just looking for someone to become friends with things took a turn and it ended up becoming permanent for us. There is someone out there for you, just give yourself a little push to meet someone. And since so many have a problem with you not having a license I’d say definitely work on trying to get that fixed as it may or may not be a problem for the woman you meet. Always be honest with the person too, don’t even let a little white lie out because it’ll just bite you in the ass. You seem like a really nice guy so I can’t imagine you having to hard of a time finding someone even being shy. But if your go about it online you’re not face to face so it should be easier to talk to them.

  1. Why did u lose your license? Was it from drinking?
  2. If so it’s a huge turn off.
    BUT……!
    Church, Coffee Shops or Target :joy:
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Wtf does this have to do with being a mom?!

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How did you meet the twin’s mother?

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I’d be cutting back to working 5 days a week if you can afford it or even 6 cause most women will want time and attention and will feel like you’re never around cause you’re working. You could try dating sites but please be careful, I don’t want you or anyone taken for a ride and ripped off either with their heart or money! If you have work mates, maybe go to the pub for after work drinks, that is an easier way cause you’ll already be drinking and if ya end up chatting with someone then stay back and catch an uber home. Good luck!

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I’ve been married for 53 yrs I was 17 he 21!Even at a young age I wanted a down to earth good ,responsible man.I would t just date anyone.Even if I had been of age I wouldn’t have looked in bars etc I had alcoholic parents so drinking was out did me !I liked men that knew what they wanted ,responsible ,Had good ethics,wouldn’t cheat on me,or physically abuse me or our kids.Sound impossible ?Not If ones careful !Even in 1969 I looked at their past lives ,employment ,Joe they treated others…You have to love yourself first …Don’t be so shy be bold but not pushy…sounds like you’re a pretty decent stand up person.I have one Granddaughter age 25 same situation meeting right ppl !Maybe a life coach could help you.You have your hands full wish twins that age.That wouldn’t be enough to scare me off as a woman !I had a Step Dad that was my Dad far as I’m concerned I was 5 when he and my mother married !You can do this there are plenty of good woman out there maybe look at a church ?Not that Christians are perfect most go to church cause they aren’t perfect but I find good ppl there pretty much !Just get out there go to events ,make time for socializing you’ll find true love !Good luck in this journey.

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yes get your license back and be a good dad first. honestly women love that bc it’s a little rare.

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Don’t do dating apps, they’ll eat you alive. Go experience things you like and meet people (friends first/too) in those contexts. Volunteer to a cause you care about, go to an author talk, museum event, cooking class, fitness… Just get out of the house and do something. It’ll build confidence and be an opportunity to practice socialising.

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You may yearn for a woman. But you do NOT have the time for one. If we dont get attention we feel alone unloved and unneeded. You need to bring substance to a relationship. Unless its the only way you can make a living. You arent gonna have anyone working 7 days a week. If you have no one to help. Man I understand that because people cannot grasp having no support system and it all falling on you. However you said literally you have no time. Do you work with women? May be the only way you can fit it into your life though it gets risky with a job mixing personal. You need to be serious to be with someone in a real relationship or dont string a woman along. With kids it matters. If you need human touch tinder. But in this day in age needs to be more genuine men out there

But how you got those twins tho?!:thinking:

Whatever you did then…. Do that again!!!

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My name is Hope. Message me if you like😁

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Well since no one asked…heyyyyyyy I’m single…Where ya from? Hahaha…no advice as you can see I suck at talking too…found easiest if dating sites…but then having the courage to go actually meet them is a whole other thing…

I would look for a good woman at church. Not that christians are perfect, no one is. But maybe you could find a good woman with good morals. Best wishes for a bright future :heart:

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I loooove Raj…I love Kuthrapoli​:joy_cat::joy_cat::heart_eyes:
Just dont do what Raj does…

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You lost me at no license

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Um you have twin boys but can’t talk to women? But you live alone? Bull.

The best advice I can give you is learn to be at peace alone. That’s what I did :woman_shrugging:

When I met my now fiance he didn’t have his license, a job, or his own place. His circumstances were because he was hit by a car a couple of years before and was still recovering from that situation. We met on Facebook dating and have been together nearly two years, have our own place and are expecting a little girl in November. I recommend a dating site, you can edit your profile to get everything out in the open from the start. That way whoever engages is more than likely actually interested in you. I was a single mother and I just didn’t really get out much to meet people so it was easier for me. Definitely don’t jump into dating because you’re lonely though, you could try meeting someone to engage as friends at first with the goal of dating.

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Wait why is there a man on here? Am i missing something? Cause hes a parent?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm a shy guy, how do I meet women?

You work 7 days a week and have a dog? I’m more concerned this dogs left alone while your at work all the time…

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Hey Raj :smirk: maybe get a day or 2 off work each week? Im sure ur future girl will feel a bit lonely with u out of the house 7 days a week. Get out on a couple of online dates… The beauty in that is, if u do push yourself out of your comfort zone and happen to say something stupid, u don’t have to see them again. You’ll find lots of women who think your shyness is endearing. Introvert doesn’t mean timid and shy, it means you recharge when alone wheres as extraverted people recharge in a crowd. Look at the root of why u feel so uncomfortable round others, maybe get some CBT theropy for some practical steps to move forward in this area, learn to love and encourage yourself. We all get anxious but it doesn’t have to hold us back. You can do this :muscle:t2: deffo take sometime to look after yourself (gym massage etc) be the best you you can be and I’m SURE it will happen naturally and you will attract a lovely woman who has worked on herself and her insecurities… Relationships aren’t as good as you think they’ll be when you’re a bit depressed and full of sekf doubt. Look in the mirror each day and name 3 things you like about yourself and are grateful for. Ur future wifey will br very blessed to have a man with such strengths and depth of character. God bless

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Go out and find a hobby you enjoy, there maybe other single people there who are interested in you, you’ll then have a mutual interest so thats a good starting point for a conversation.

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Maybe try online dating that way the nerves your feeling won’t be seen by the other person hopefully making you feel more comfortable.

And if it leads to planning a date just make sure your honest before meeting in person and tell her your really shy at first so she knows coming into it if your a bit quiet that it just you and not her.

And don’t say you work 7 days a week that’ll make them think you don’t have time for them. Tell them you work a lot right now coz your single but would cut your hours back if you found someone special.