Well good to know , girl focus on yourself and child start saving money and working out so in a few mths when you leave you’ll be off to a good start , because he will always be this shallow and you will never be happy with him.
Girl lose a 160-180 pounds by dumping him
Sounds like he married you for how you look not because he loved you. I know it’s hard but I think you should move on. Then work on losing the weight for you not him.
If not, leave him.
You don’t deserve to be made to feel that way. I’m so sorry he made you feel that way honey.
My ex lost interest in me after I gained some weight and he refused to be intimate with me, my current boyfriend has loved me through several different stages of weight loss/gain and has always told me my weight didnt bother him, he just wants me to be healthy
Leaving. That is not love. Get away from him. That’s extremely vile.
You do not deserve this at all. Be proud of your body, you had a baby. If he doesn’t want to be intimate with you, move on. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Men are allowed to lose interest just as women are.
It sucks. It’s damaging. But sometimes they can’t help it either.
It took you nine months to get that weight on… Your not going to lose it over night…cut back on your food intake and don’t eat crackers…easy on the bread…you’ve got this girl !! Hateful words calls for revenge…your revenge is getting thin again…and then leave him…
That’s not true love. You gave him a child, your body will forever be different.
You can start trying, both of you need to make a change it sounds like. The honest to God truth is that he’s an asshole but he’s just not attracted anymore and I don’t think that he can help it.
The right person is going to think the sun shines out your ass and love you unconditionally. Anything else is unacceptable and will not be tolerated it took me many many years of toxic loveless marriage to learn this let go and move on and now I feel like the fucking queen I am girl tell him he knows where the door is at
Don’t feel pressure to loose the baby weight gosh you just had a baby , how uncaring and cruel of him. You take care of yourself and your baby xo
I would go see a couples counselor… not that I think him blaming it on your weight is right but in his head it might be better than the alternative that there might be something medically wrong with him.
Drop that asshole like a hot potato!
I have thyroid issues too( hypo) and my weight has never been an issue with my husband… You need to see your worth girl good luck to you
He doesn’t love you ! He loves himself! Kick him to the curb and carry on!
RUN your being disrespected
I would have left. Point blank.
What you want to do sis? I got nothing else to say, but get yourself a PT lose the weight then leave him:man_shrugging:t5:
He should be loving you just as much now as he did before. You carried his child for 9 months he’s being so disrespectful! I’m sure if he put on a few extra pounds you’d still love him for him, I’m so sorry you feel like this please don’t force yourself into loosing weight it’ll take time. If I were you I’d tell him that if you can’t love me when I gain a few extra pounds then I don’t want your love at all and let him go, you’ll find a man that’ll love ALL of you.
So he’s telling you he was never really attracted to you, only your body. Sorry to say this but he never loved YOU. Leave him asap.
Oh hun I hate to tell ya but he has someone on the side. A husband and or wife loves your body, heart and soul. He sounds like a man that want a wife for kids but not a companion for life. I’m sorry but dig deeper lose weight for you and your health but never a man, he should repect the mother of his child as you do him. If he doesn’t then it’s time to find out why and move on, his train of thought as you have said sounds like a very Narcissistic person. Good luck
Oh hell no! Don’t you ever let someone back you feel like that!! Screw him!!!
He is a selfish man. You can do better.
I am sorry you are going through this! I feel your pain about not liking your body after you given birth as your self esteem does go down, but remember that you created a beautiful human being with your body.
Baby weight is difficult to lose, but not impossible. It just takes time. Keep telling yourself you are beautiful, even when you don’t feel like it. See and find your worth. If he can’t love you and want every inch of you, then he doesn’t deserve your love. Love isn’t about what your size is, it’s about what’s on the inside. Love yourself first as at the end of the day, no one will love you as much as you love yourself. You will be happier and healthier by loving yourself.
Sounds like be never loved you for all of you. It’s your choice to leave him, or try to make it work and talk it through. But honestly, it sounds like it’s not going to be worth it if he isn’t changing already. I would just focus on you and your baby and let him figure out what matters most to him on his own without your love.
He’s not a real man, I wouldn’t be worried about leaving him. Being alone would be an upgrade.
Honestly lose interest in him and put all that love into yourself. Don’t take the bait when he decides he wants it. Tell him the same thing that you aren’t comfortable. LOVE your self and your baby. Let him fall off if that’s how he feels. Hell notice the change and if he runs with it than let him. A man should never let the mother to his child feel inadequate and unloved. You grew a beautiful child with your body for almost a year. Give your self time and work on you.
I’m so sorry your going through thus. You carried his child and just like all of us it takes its tole on your body but he shouldn’t care about that and should love you more because of what your body accomplished. You deserve so much better
The problem isn’t with you sweetheart, it’s with your shallow shell of a husband! I’m sorry for how he makes you feel! You created a human being in your own body and that in itself makes you fearfully and wonderfully made!! Know your worth and never let anyone tell you otherwise! God Bless!
Unfortunately, people have preferences. Is it right that you gained weight carrying his child and because of the changes to your body, now he rejects you? Absolutely not at all! But if he isn’t attracted to you, there isn’t a way to “fix” that. You shouldn’t have to do anything for him to be attracted to you. He’s the problem. Somewhere out there is a man that will love every curve, every line, every single thing about you. The only person you should change for, is yourself!
Boy bye. take your child and go.
Men are visual creatures friend.
He was honest. Lose the weight and get back to you or you will have to deal.
You made him a whole human. Throw him out. Byeeeee
Hes a selfish asshole!! You got pregnant and gave birth to his child and now your bigger than before, so what. Did he just expect your body to stay the same? My only advice is you dont need someone like that in your life.
You need to ask yourself how you are attracted to this “man” very selfish! Your body is beautiful what ever size you are! Your body did an amazing job to bring yours and his child in to this world! You need to give yourself some love!!
He ain’t the one sis! Move on and find someone that won’t pass that trait on to your kids. I’m sorry.
Absolutely disgusting. I mean we like what we like, but when it comes to weight it’s a sore point for me. You birthed his child he should be more inlove with you and what you do for your family. That’s enough for me to leave to be honest
Your husband , in my opinion is an ungrateful asshole! You gave him a miracle!!! He should love you, all of you no matter what! I wish I could of given my husband a child. I had 6 tubal pregnancies before I couldn’t try any longer. Wow ! I hope if you ever dump his sorry ass you find a real man that appreciates YOU for who YOU are and not what you look like!!! Pray for him! I’m praying for you!!!
Lose the weight by dumping his ass and find someone who appreciates you no matter what you look like
Try finding a real man. What you have now is a stupid little boy.
I hate to give this advice, but I would leave. He was honest, and thats what you wanted, however, there is no point in being with someone who doesn’t make you a priority. There is also no point in staying with someone who wants you to change your body. I’m sorry you’re going through this my love
You can lose all that extra weight by divorcing his ass
Love yourself. Find yourself and your happiness. Everything will fall into place.
It seems it doesn’t dawn on people to have these conversations during the dating phase. I ask all types of questions, like does a person’s weight affect your attraction to them, etc.
People like what they like and although it is amazing when you have someone who loves you regardless of how you look, it can be a big issue for many.
Would I be devastated if this came out the blue…absolutely, but we have to stop letting these things come from out the blue.
It seems the only thing you can do for him to find you more attractive is to lose the weight, which isn’t fair to you. Pregnancy causes our bodies to change. It’s unfortunate he can’t love the vessel that brought his child into the world.
I think if he could change that, he would. But we are attracted to what we are attracted to.
Loose the weight girl! You will feel so much better about yourself!
Loose the weight of however much he weighs!
In other words ger rid of him! You changed your body for him to carry his seed. Screw that.
Get rid of the husband. No matter what I looked like after my kids were born, he never would say anything like this.
I can imagine hearing that had to hurt… but hurt and being disrespected is not the same thing. I would be more concerned if he said he didn’t love you or want the marriage or baby, if he replaced sex with you with pornography or someone else. IMO you have a great opportunity here to discuss and determine your deal breakers… If your weight is a deal breaker for him, or his lack of physical attraction for you is a deal breaker for you - air that out and action it accordingly.
You’re looking for him to validate you - that’s on you, not him. If he’s not attracted, but you have no issue with you - there’s your answer. Ditch him and move on.
But tbh, sounds to me like you’re unhappy and maybe feeling a little guilty that you haven’t lost the weight… you wanted him to say it’s fine and not be bothered by it. It didn’t go that way - so he’s the a-hole for not being physically attracted to you unconditionally.
Two very different issues. If you are good with you - ditch him. If you are not good with you, but want him to be good with you regardless - you’re deflecting and that’s unhealthy for you.
Nope I had 3 c sections my body is my worst insecurity, my husband would never say that, my body is what brought our babies in and it is beautiful because of that and because he loves me regardless of what it looks like… he should get some help cause clearly he is the problem you earned your strips and he is selfish.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. The weight you gained bringing his child into the world alerted you early on to what a shallow soul he possesses. Count your blessings that you see this know and not after a decade ot two with someone with no substance. This is a man you assumed you would grow old with . I am 64 years old and no matter how hard you try to be hot at that age you are not. Find a man who is turned on by you by what is in your heart and your mind. He will always see beauty when he looks at you.
Why do women need men to validate us. Of you want to stay with him. Stay. If not leave his sorry ass. Noone can body shame but you. If you’re ashamed of it, which you shouldn’t be, change it. Rather with meds or whatever. If you’re not ashamed of it. Hold your head high and find someone better.
My husband told me he didn’t care how I looked after my first pregnancy.he shouldn’t be superficial and love you for you!!!
The only person that sounds unattractive is your husband. What disgusting behaviour from him.
Get a new husband. Throw the whole man out. You gave birth to his child and he’s complaining
It shouldn’t be like that. He should live you as a whole person. But… what are you doing to get back into shape? Do it now before it gets wise. Trust me, if you don’t, your body will get worse. At 67, I’m on a program to get healthier and to like how I look and feel. It is never too late.
Honey does he look the same as he did isn’t it for better or worse was it only your looks don’t you ever blame yourself sorry to say this he is not worthy of you and you know this.
Leave him. Focus on yourself. Learn to love your new body. And he will be sorry
Girl he ain’t it. True Love is love with no conditions, he obviously had conditions .
Ewww…why would you desire intimacy with that man? I’d rather hump a cactus.
If I was you, If you want to lose weight, then lose weight but for YOU. Not him, not anyone, if it will help build up your confidence, go get a new outfit, get your hair done, get all glitzed up… then say I’m ready to have sex now…. When he gets all excited, tell him the baby needs to be in bed at such a time and I won’t be late… then off you go into the world beautiful, as let’s be honest… after having a baby the least of our priorities is losing weight!! But you can always lose the weight… would you really want to stay with someone who your gifting the most amazing gift in the world, for you to feel so self conscious pregnant?? Horrible man.?
He’s a overgrown child. You need a man.
Unpopular opinion but while love may be unconditional sex is truly optional. They’re not synonymous with the other. While the truth may hurt, it’s better to be bruised with the truth than broken with a lie. I applaud his honesty despite what may be a lack of tact in his delivery. He knows what he is and isn’t attracted to and if he already is honest about it this early in your relationship it’s better to find out now than later as your body is truly aging. It doesn’t sound like he’s the one for you when it comes to the long haul.
While he may be shallow, he’s being honest. I’d rather have my feelings hurt than lied to. While he might not be attracted to you, he didn’t say he didn’t love you. I look at myself in the mirror 40lbs heavier than I was. No I don’t think I’m as attractive as I was because I’m not… People don’t like the truth because well sometimes it’s hurts.
Focus on yourself, just forget about him
He’s a jerk. Even if you get rid of the weight now, what would happen if you get sick/disabled? He would leave you! Make plans to take care about yourself and your baby so you can leave him. Talk to an attorney before you do anything!
It will never work if you lose the weight for him. You lose the weight for yourself. You only lose whatever you feel that you need to feel good about yourself. Don’t let a man tell you what you should weigh. You lose the weight to be healthy and to feel good about yourself.
If my boyfriend felt that way, I would leave and never look back. Your body changes during and after you have a baby - which everyone knows that. The fact that you GREW and BIRTHED his child for majority of the year and he FEELS that way is disgusting. He sounds super selfish and shallow. You deserve so much better!
He needs to figure out why the hell he so shallow and work on that shit. Maybe even a therapist fr though. You are not the problem. Your body is not the problem. He somehow put your looks before your personality, and that is 5000% his problem and his problem alone. Bodies change it’s just what they do. If he wasn’t ready for that then he wasn’t ready for a relationship with anyone. What was he gonna do once y’all start getting old? He needs to work on that shit and kiss your ass and apologize to you for a year. That was uncalled for on his part.
You can lose 200lbs quick by losing that bozo. You just had his child. If a few pounds of baby weight is his excuse then he doesn’t love you. Have him look in the mirror at the hairy twig n berries between his legs and tell him you been looking at that ugly mess for years but that hasn’t stopped you from sex. Pack that baby up and u’ll find someone who loves every inch of you
Lose the 150+ pounds of husband and you’ll instantly feel better about yourself. Then, slowly work towards your goals and be realistic about your expectations from yourself. Your body has been through a lot and it deserves to be recognized and worshipped. If your husband can’t get on board, he can get off the ship and you can focus on loving yourself.
He’s an ASS get rid of embrace yourself and love you and your babies
You find yourself a man who loves and respects you exactly as you are.
How dare he .
You gave him a reason when you asked him if its because of your body. It’s definitely not your body. It’s him. Get him to tell you the REAL reason what’s going on.
He needs to accept that your body has undergone many Changes to bring this baby into the world. I did weight watchers after each of my kids were born and it worked.
keep baby so you can work out and
Attend meetings !!
Get up and start exercising. That’s what.
And before anyone @ 's me…
While his response was hurtful, he was honest. And as much as it sucks, people have no control over the attraction they feel towards others. Your feelings are 100% valid, but so are his. I personally wouldn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t attracted to me anymore, regardless of having kids with them. If you feel the need to lose weight, do it for yourself. Not him. You need to feel better about yourself for your own mental health and self esteem.
Your hubby sounds like a dick …cant change a dick if thats how he views the labor of love & beauty of becoming a Mom
Better yet what can you do to find yourself more attractive what can you do to love yourself more because you alone set the bar for loving you and you show others how to love you. So I suggest but you ignore him and start being passionate about you all the little things whether it’s painting your toenails is a different color or trying a different perfume trying a new style of dress whatever makes you smile and brings you Joy you don’t need an idiot to bring you Joy and you shouldn’t depend on one to do that
Lose the weight than lose him!!! Prick!
Sometimes intimacy dosent need to be sexually focused… I pro.isenyou have to offer on that category other than physical looks
You can lose the weight and feel better… by serving divorce papers! Instant 150+ lbs GONE!
He is a BOY a real MAN ESPECIALLY THE ONE WHO CAUSED THE BODY CHANGES would see it as beauty seeing you brought his child in the world… literally he needs help not you. Most women don’t carry on a figure like they didn’t give birth when they did without procedures etc to assist the illusion, real men get that.
You don’t do nothing except find a man who loves you for who you are .A body is always changing if he can’t love YOU than he don’t deserve you .
Find another man
Happiness starts with you. He’s a jerk.
Thats not a man, that’s a BOY. Pack your bags and go or pack his bags and toss him. Get rid of the whole husband, he is TRASH
That’s not real love. You should investigate because it sounds like he is cheating.
Girrrrrl leave him then lose the weight show him
What an ass he really is!!! And what he lost because of the immature little boy he is.
Tell him goodbye you shouldn’t have to change yourself to make anybody love or desire you…Be yourself and the RIGHT person will find you…
You don’t need to change yourself you need to change your surrounding starting with him …. Stop think about pleasuring him and start thinking about you and your mental health and that beautiful baby ps I’ve had four kids !! I weighed 120/125 when I got pregnant delivered at 201 I struggled with my first a lot because she passed away at six months from a genetic disorder by number two I had such bad ptsd I was 205 at delivery and couldn’t lose the weight I wasn’t eating from stress and lack of sleep made breastfeeding impossible I really tried got pregnant with number three three years later still struggled with weight and after he was born I finally said screw it I don’t care if gain weight I ate everything drank gallon of water I got as much sleep as I could I lost all the weight by three months to find out guess what another baby’s on the way but by number four I had breastfeed down and I was able to recognize my post baby blues systems look into Kratom powder for mold complexity if you are not breast feeding it also helps a lot with weight gain but you need outside support someone who is healthy and ready to listen and help with baby a mom anyone mom group something get out of the house and breath
Kick him to the curb!
I have a eating disorder and have recently lost 157 pounds and I’ve felt great. Then boom last month 2 days before thanksgiving I find out I’m 7 weeks pregnant…after trying for 14 years to have one with my husband…. Don’t get me wrong we are beyond happy but I’m terrified of gaining a pound back. I’ve changed my whole lifestyle to support ME and now I gotta change it again to have a baby. I’m not at all happy about that part. I’m terrified. Mortified. So I can kinda relate to how you feel and I haven’t even really gotten big yet. Best of luck girl. I feel for you and how you feel. People can tell you to drop that man all day but it’s still not gonna make you look at yourself any different til YOU are happy with yourself.
If the problem is thyroid take the meds the dr prescribes
This sounds like he’s cheating.
-Love yourself and get healthy for YOURSELF.
-find another man because that one is not a good one.
-happiness will come to you; he’s the problem.
I wish more spouses would understand what being on birth control and having a baby was REALLY like!
Honey. If he no longer loves you because you carried and birthed his child, he never did to begin with. He’s not a man, he’s a damn child. What you allow will continue. You focus on yourself and that sweet baby. And you kick his ass to the curb and get your self confidence back. But do it for YOU. Not him.
Instead of internalizing HIS issues, you need to start by loving yourself.
It’s HIM you should not be able to look at- not you!
He’s the ugly one by far!
You’re right when you expect your partner to love you through changes. Especially after you gave him the gift you have!
Work hard, get your Thyriod concerns in balance and work on your self love, self worth and self esteem…
HE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD STRUGGLE TO LOOK AT HIMSELF. Perhaps he should consider therapy to learn how to be a loving partner and figure his new role out at a parent.
So say you lose the weight right,what happens if you was to have an accident and heaven forbid lose a limb,would he not find you attractive then? Or you get to 50 and the wrinkles and the natural bodily change come with it,will he not find you attractive then? What happens if you loose the weight and still he doesn’t find you attractive? That’s not love,your marriages is supposed to be for better or for worse,isn’t it? Why is your worst not good enough,You as a person should be good enough regardless of what you look like,after all isn’t that why he married you or was it just based on looks for him? I hope you find peace and love with yourself,you’ve brought life into this world and if that doesn’t make you more attractive to him then I don’t personally know what will,chin up stay strong
Loving someone is different than attraction. I lost a bunch of weight unintentionally and it was so apparent my husband at the time was not as attracted to me as he normally was. So I asked him and he confirmed it. Same thing happened with him. Now I’ve gained it all back and then some and I don’t feel as attractive and have more insecurities which I think makes it hard for a partner to be all about sex. The biggest thing is communication and doing what is healthy and makes everyone happy and satisfied.
Keep the body , dump the guy