I wouldn’t be suprised if he was cheating also. But regardless. …he is not a man…kick him to the curb…that’s not true love
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He’s a scumbag, you know in your gut exactly what’s going on and it’s not your weight and the fact that he is blaming it on you and your weight is disgusting. Take care of yourself and your bub and move on. 
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He never truly loved you. Bodies change. You don’t need somebody superficial like him.
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If he truly loved you your weight would not impact the relationship. Even when I was over 300 pounds I was loved. I have always been big although I am now closer to 200 than 300 but it is a struggle I also have thyroid issues and I balloon up with many medications especially steroids and antidepressants yet doctors insist these medications are needed… I won’t take them.
Oof. That’s some conditional love. Fuck that guy. Or don’t, as the case may be. You don’t need to make yourself fit his unreasonable expectations. You had his baby. It’s his damn fault. Why do we feel like we have to put up with this crap? That’s some bullshit and you deserve better!
I think you need to lose the husband. Your body has just created life. It had a tiny little human with a heart beat, growing inside your body. You should appreciate what you’ve gone through. You are a goddess, simply by giving birth. Any real man would embrace that beauty. I would solely focus on feeling good about you. Focus on making you a priority. Be proud of who you are, you’ve givin life.
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Honey looks fade eventually. Even if you lose the weight, your looks will one day fade. He should love you regardless. If he is truly that shallow and indifferent then you should leave. Your body underwent a beautiful transformation and if he doesn’t see that then he doesn’t deserve you.
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Not a real man !!! You need a man who is going to love every stretch mark and curve , you made a baby it is going to take time to lose weight, he’s an asshole you deserve better!!! My hubby loves and loved my pregnant / postpartum body , I’m sure it’s not what he prefers but that’s life it’s what happens and he makes sure I feel beautiful no matter how my body is . I know a quick way you can lose 150 lbs or more real fast!!! Send this asshole packing, plenty of other fish in the sea
Give him a bag to put over his head and grow up…
Lose the husband and the weight but do it for YOU. At your speed & when you’re ready. What a complete asshole.
Love yourself. Leave the asshole.
You’ve grown a child, your body changed, it stretched, you gave birth to his child and he wants to pretty much call you ugly WTF 
. He doesn’t even deserve you or your child if that is the thanks he is going to give you. What a piece of crap. That’s emotional abuse as well telling you it’s the way you look for a crappy reason to not have sex with you. Your a queen for growing a child and anyone who disrespects a woman and can’t handle the way you look after giving birth isn’t worth a second more of your time.
I never comment on these but I was there once . Most men who do this lack self esteem themselves and take it on us … balding bastards 
girl live for yourself he’s a jerk !
Dump his a$$. He doesn’t deserve you!
Do not belittle yourself! I had a hypothyroid but am fine now. You need to get your thyroid levels right and your situatin will change . You don’t need his rejection so quite asking for his affection. When you get your health right the weight will fall off! Hopfully he will be another weight you can lose!
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Girl I’d be out to prove a point!! I’d dump that baby off on him every chance I could get a live in the gym then tell him you ain’t attracted to him lol! I can understand this to a point if fitness was massively important to him/you pre baby. Some people really care about body image. At least he’s being honest with you. Doesn’t make it hurt less I’m sure but at least you aren’t questioning it all the time.
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I haven’t lost the baby weight I’ve put even more on and my thyroid has gone low so I know how you feel 
Sooo he married you because of your looks? Girl, get out that bubble and take care of your self and kick him of the curve. You can go back to the doctor and take care of your tiroides problem and start a healthy diet and exercise. NEVER allow anyone control you emotionally. Also don’t let yourself go because you have children, it’s obvious that he doesn’t care about your emotional needs so do you. And once you become the woman he wants you to be, close that door in his face.
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Girl, run FAR AWAY! If he was truly in love with you, he wouldn’t care about any of that superficial stuff anyways especially if you just gave him the greatest gift in the world!
He should love you no matter what! That’s just an excuse! You love the person from within. Bodies change, but not personalities ! He’s being an insensitive ass*ole and lose that “weight “( the husband weight) if he doesn’t change! Good luck mama!
He needs to go and I bet 100% he is cheating to boot!!! If he loved you he would help u, not hurt you
You carried his child. If he isn’t man enough to understand that a woman’s body changes after pregnancy he needs to be single. I still have baby weight and my baby is 15. My husband still can’t keep his hands off of me. Your husband is a douche bag.
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I’m so sorry. I get that he can’t help what he is attracted to physically but he definitely could encourage you better. He should be grateful you changed your body to give him his child. Maybe work out with you. Diet with you.
He’s allowed to have a preference of what he’s attracted to. If it bothers you that much then try to lose weight. Don’t just expect him to make your self esteem come back.
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You can easily lose 150+ lbs by getting rid of him.
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If you want to lose the weight, do it for yourself and no one else. I know men are visual creatures, but he should still be attracted to you solely based on the fact that he should love who you are, regardless of body size.
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That man doesn’t love you. You should be asking yourself, do you want to remain married to a man who doesn’t love you?
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He sounds 1 selfish man
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Hes lying.
He would see more of your body in the shower for 1.
Hes cheating and just agreeing with what you offer up as a solution
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So sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s a new year and you need to use this to not give a crap what he thinks! You’re beautiful! Be the happiest version of yourself and make yourself happy. If loosing weight will help you “not him” you than you will be able to do it! Walk. Eat better etc. but only if you yourself wants to. How dare he even think that way when you have had a baby and you have a thyroid problem. He needs a wake up call! Stay positive and healthy. X
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Oh hell no! He is a garbage human and you deserve so much better
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I had the same problem. Got a divorce, never looked back. Finally have a man who loves and cherishes me with no complaints in the bedroom!
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Oh hunny!! Nooooo! You are NOT the problem. Your body did an amazing miracle and carried/gave birth to your child. If your husband is so small minded that he can’t see the beauty that’s in front of him that’s his problem. You don’t have to do anything to make yourself more attractive for him. If you do anything do it for YOU! And honestly you might want to reconsider your marriage. That’s no way to live. Love yourself so you can love that baby with all you have.
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Yes I have advice leave the stupid ass
sorry to say, this isn’t love, Love is with the person that they are with no matter what, As we age, our body changes, so your husband, no matter what will reject you, Again that isn’t LOVE, God forbid you had an accident & couldn’t walk or anything else was wrong with you, He would also not want sex with you, because you wouldn’t be what he wants & that is a perfect woman. And there really isn’t a prefect woman out there, nor a perfect man either, Someone who really loves you will look pass all of that & remember why they fell in love with you the first. Personal, this man needs to go. He only sees the outside, not the inside 
He’s a pig and u deserve better
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He’s gross and just by him saying that (if it’s even true, he’s probably having an affair) would make him immediately unattractive to me. How could he be so shallow, that is such a turnoff to me. He sounds disgusting and not worth keeping around at all. Hopefully he’s a better coparent than husband. Also, he does not love YOU. He loves your appearance, so much that he did not give any shits about making you feel like garbage. He cares more about how you look than how you feel and that right there should be enough for you to leave and never look back!
All you can do is what he says is the problem your weight but what if u loose it and that’s not good enought now your 3 years without sex and your cranky.
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Some people are just shallow. What’s he gonna do when you get old grey and wrinkly. If you truly love someone their flaws shouldn’t matter all that much. If anything he should only want you to be healthy and maybe support you in losing the extra weight for health reasons.
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I asked my hubby his advice from a man’s perspective… hes most likely cheating and most definitely isnt in love with you, for him to be so cold toward you and no regard for hurting your feelings like that, its time to really consider your options and ask yourself if you want to feel this way for the rest of your life.
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Your husband should be building you up, not breaking you down. You should watch why did I get married with Tyler Perry, there’s a married couple similar to your situation. It’s a great movie.
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Leave him!!!
He is the problem and you should Never let A boy say otherwise.
If you want to loose weight then do it for you. Never do that for anyone else.
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No you know what the problem is? His shitty personality. You should remind him that his personality makes him repulsive and you don’t want to have sex with him anymore 
I bet your beautiful
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He’s the one with the problem, not you. Something else is going on here. I miss hunk you should suggest counseling for him. If he refuses, then maybe you should consider asking him to move out. You should not have to beg your own husband for attention. He’s not worth it. Pay attention. Keep your eyes open. He’s getting it somewhere.
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It’s very sad. You’ve given him a child and all he can see is your body. Is it only your body he loved. I’m sorry to say this but he’s not loving you the way he should. Whether you lose weight or not he’s not a nice man. Do yourself a favour. Love yourself first and give your love and time to someone who deserves you. It’s certainly not him.
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I’m so sorry. He is so messed up for that. You gave him a child, of coarse your body changed. If he can’t accept you as u are now. Leave him. You’re worth so much more. Do not think your the problem. He is the problem.
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Don’t ever for a second think you need to change and you’re the problem! He’s the problem. What a jerk.
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He’s not the man for you then. He wasn’t truly in the marriage then I’d ask for a divorce personally. My ex wasn’t attracted to me after 2 kids and lost interest and wouldn’t have sex with me anymore and I left his ass flat out he ain’t a man. Best choice I could of made for myself and kids. If he can’t respect you for everything you are even after having kids then he won’t ever respect you. And that’ll affect your kids as well in the future. Don’t put yourself down
I’m pretty sure his body isn’t perfect either. If you want to loose weight,do it for yourself and no one else.
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File for divorce and child support…that should do it for a temporary fix until he figures out what to do about his girlfriend or until she talks him into trashing you to try to get custody of your child so he won’t have to pay it. You better buck up and defend yourself there. He’s cheating on you, you cannot be in that much denial that you do not know that. Best of luck to you.
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Your body just created a human it’s not the same as it was before, you just grew a human… shit doesn’t instantly bounce back, your man sounds like a piece of work… he should be building you up, not ripping you to the ground, that shit is hard work all of it and if he can’t appreciate you giving him a human then he needs to find the door…
I’ve seen this play out a handful of times. What happens is the woman eventually leaves. The stress of divorce causes the weight to drop. Then he begs for her back. And, if she’s healed at all, she won’t give him the time of day. Her life is always 10x better without him.
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I’ve had 3 kids… My husband adores every inch of me. As he should… Get a divorce girl. Don’t waste anymore time. There’s a man out there who will love you for who you are.
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The only thing you can do is leave that marriage. You can’t force someone to love neither should you change yourself for their love,just accept that the marriage is over.
I hate this post, it makes me very sad that he makes you feel this way when you’re already feeling so low. I’m very sorry mama, you gave birth!! even if you lose weight your body probably will never be the same… I hope for your sake you can see that your body is amazing and you did something amazing, and you are AMAZING!! Honestly if your partner can’t live with it I promise you, you can find you an ACTUAL MAN that can see you no matter your size.
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If he truly loved you he wouldn’t care what you look like.
If he can’t love your body, the body that created and carried his child… he doesn’t deserve you.
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That’s a him problem
Wow u have his baby and that’s how he treats u disgusting if u ask me
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If your husband doesn’t love you after your body changed to GROW and BIRTH his own fucking baby, then that’s a pathetic excuse for a partner and needs to be dropped.
Sometimes it’s hard for men to get use to going from being use to how you look to a change like that. I’d tell him that he shouldn’t see it as you gained weight he should see it as your body literally grew an entire human and that your body is an amazing thing and if he can’t see that you don’t want the weight either but it’s not easy to lose especially with a thyroid problem then he does NOT deserve you. He should respect you and love you no matter what. You are his wife and the mother of his child.
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This is a boy, not a man. I’ve had four kids and I could lose about 40 pounds, but he loves me the way I am. Sorry he is being this way.
Men are visual creatures… just because he should feel & see you in a certain way doesn’t mean he will… im sorry
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I’m sorry but you dont have a weight, intimacy, or self esteem problem, you have a partner without empathy problem, and thats MUCH harder to fix, you just manufactured a human being and didnt get the lab cleaned up fast enough or to his satisfaction, protect yourself from that cause it aint gonna get any better
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I would leave him, but i know things aren’t always that easy. But a partner should love you no matter what. And if it’s that big of a deal to him then he doesn’t love you for you. He’s only in it for your looks and that won’t last in the long run.
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He shouldn’t treat you that way especially after having his child , imagine if it were him and u were to tell him those things . Leave girl he’s a little boy
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So sorry … but he is the problem not you. You had HIS kid- our bodies change after that. Find somebody who embraces your body. Only work on it for yourself.
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Throw the whole man out and start over.
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Oh sweetie I’m so sorry you are going through this. I went through the same thing I had his baby I gained weight and he didnt want me anymore but I found out he was cheating but my dumb butt stayed and gave another chance and then had his second child which made me gain more weight and he started cheating again and again until I finally left him and lost all the weight I had gained because I was finally happy and he didnt make me feel bad anymore now I’m with the man of my dreams we had a child together and gained a little but he loves me to death. What I’m saying is find the right man that will treat you like a queen no matter what happens to your body. Your husband is not a real man and you deserve so much more!!
That’s horrible on his part. I’m so sorry he is treating you this way. When you marry someone it’s supposed to be about the person and who they are. How they look is a bonus but it’s not everything. My husband put on 80-100 lbs since we met. I am still attracted to him because of who he is. It sounds like he is shallow. I would
Consider counseling for both of you and maybe it might be time to move on.
Stop running miles, for a boy, that can’t take one step for you.
Tell him that you lost interest in him, an that his no longer satisfying you in the relationship.
He’ll be upset at first, but after separation, that’s when both of you get to decide if separating is for the best.
Trust me love, the right man will treat you, how you want to be treated.
I couldn’t be in a relationship with my bd, but we co parent just fine, not saying there won’t be obstacles.
However I know from experience, that it’s not the end of the world, like how I imagine you’re feeling.
Please note that you’re beautiful, and know that beauty has no weight limit!
He should appreciate all that your body did, it carried him a happy and healthy child.
His actions are absolutely disgusting, by refusing to have sex with you, other then in the shower.
Which makes me assume, that he thinks your gross, which just pisses me off to no end!!! 
This tells me how deep his love is …im sorry but looks fade away and if it’s true love then looks have no matter
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You’re not the problem, he is! He’s not the right one for you! Periodt!
You shouldn’t have to change anything about yourself for him to be attracted to you. I feel you on the whole self esteem thing tho, i’m sure every mama has. I don’t feel how I used to before kids… but my hubby loves me the way I am and it shows. When we’re intimate, I will NOT take my shirt off anymore, I just dont feel confident after having 2 kids. He wanted me to the other night and it took everything in me to do it for him and when I did, i put my hand over my stomach. His response, “don’t be ashamed around me!” And moved my hands away from my stomach. Ive noticed the love he has for me grew after watching me birth his children… find you a MAN who will love you for you… every inch of you❤
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He is a selfish narcissist, you gave him a child, you scarified your body, he is ungrateful. He should love your body more for giving such a wonderful gift.
You can’t help him because he doesn’t want to change. There are lots of men that will find you absolutely gorgeous. Pull yourself together and stable your self financially and walk away from him.
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My advice is walk away from this loveless relationship. By his response u should have lost all intimate feelings for him then and there… but everybody reacts diffrently… u can’t want a person who doesn’t want u… this is a hurtful thing for him to have told u… I’d lose the weight and never sleep with him… Value and Love urself enough to know u deserve much more…
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I fuckn hate men man. Im sorry hon.
I believe that everyone has a right to their preferences. He wasn’t mean about it. You wanted the truth.
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I wouldn’t be able to look at mine the same again if he ever said that to me i would be completely done and would take the time to focus on my baby and body he didn’t even give you no time loose it that’s awful im so sorry
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I would tell him to pack his sh*t because you gave him a child and that’s the price for it. He doesn’t get the right to destroy you, he should be encouraging you to get healthy without making you question your self worth or your marriage. Know you deserve better and demand it. Good luck.
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You should lose the weight and then leave that boy, not man, behind.
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Oh honey, this is NOT a YOU problem, this is a he’s-a-giant a$$hole problem.
You literally GREW A HUMAN!!!
Gosh, what a douche he’s being!!
You certainly can loose a 100lbs+ by dropping him off at his mamas house and telling her what a wretched child she raised.
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Asher M Pkash terrible 
You can look at it as ‘’ he’s supposed to live you no matter what’’ but ultimately no matter how shitty it makes you feel, he can’t help what he finds attractive
This isn’t an issue with you it’s an issue with him that HE needs to work on. Maybe with therapy. That’s not an acceptable way to treat someone you claim to love.
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Find a real man…not a little boy. What an ignorant ass
He made a commitment for better or wise,richer or poorer… You should not feel less than…just because you gave him the best gift a woman can ever give a man!!! Be proud of yourself…You are perfect just the way you are…If he can’t realize that, it’s his loss!!
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Looks will always fade and love takes work! I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m praying for you. I’ve gained so much weight but I’m so thankful my husband loves me more now than he did then. This isn’t a looks issue. It’s a love issue.
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What an asshole. I’d be chucking his stuff out the window if I was you and telling him not to come back until he finds some new found respect for the mother of his child. If he never finds it, don’t have him back. You can do better than him.
I see everyone on here telling you to leave him because he is struggling with the new changes to your body also. How is that fair? No one has asked you how long post partum you are, have you tried any diets, has he offered to go to the gym with you and support you in your journey to get back to where you feel comfortable? It’s not about about pleasing him, it’s about you being comfortable. You love your husband and want him to be attracted to you and from the sound of it you don’t feel very attractive right now. Stop focusing on the sex itself and do activities with him that go back to the basics, but can also help you transform your body. Go hiking, do gym dates, cook some healthy meals together. Remind him and yourself that sex is mental as well as physical so that he is deserving of the beautiful body your child left you with. Only you gave him that. Remind him.
If he can’t look at your body and see the most beautiful thing that carried and birthed his child, hes an ass that don’t deserve no ass👏, girl there are men that will love every inch of you!
My bf has a belly. And I honestly don’t tell him to lose weight. It attracts me more.
Hunny. Your beautiful in and out. He made a commitment when he married you. For rich or poor. In sickness and health. Why did he marry you. If he’s gone be a dick about your body. Love yourself or who you are. Tell him to leave. You can find some one who will love you. For you. But right now. Just love yourself. For your kids.
Get rid of your husband and find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
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What a pos! You made a whole new human - for him! If your physical body is the only thing that he appreciates you for, it’s good to find that out now. You show kick his conceited a$$ to the curb and find a real man.
He sounds like a douche…put him in a canoe and walk away.
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I’m not a big girl, I’m actually quite opposite, too skinny, the skin on my belly says, my boob (aren’t even really there any more) sag, I have no ass at all literally, but my man always talking bout how good my butt looks, even though it really look like my back runs right to my legs:sweat_smile:
Take this time to love you and your baby. Do not look to him to build your self esteem. Your body will change many many times before your life ends. Learn to love each stage even if it’s not “your best look”. I’m sorry you are struggling. You are beautiful and valuable.
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Leave. Hes an absolute narcasistic ass hole plain and simple. You gave him a child. I will never be the same I’m a mother now I’ve changed, forever my first thought every day I wake is my son its bizzare. Every scar and extra pound was to bring your child safely into the world. YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR. He should worship and adore you and be there for you no matter what. When he already knows you’re feeling down hes kicking you harder. You deserve better x
This is so heartbreaking. No one should be made to feel this way, especially from a spouse.
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That’s awful. I’m so sorry.
I read this to my husband and he said “ you shouldn’t have to break yourself to make someone love you or find you attractive. You gave him the greatest gift anyone could ever give someone. Your body changed to give him the gift. He’s an asshole to not appreciate the body that grew your baby.”