So my son’s father is a piece of work. I got pregnant at the beginning of our relationship. He told everyone he doubted it was his. ( I wasn’t with anyone but him) He treated me like absolute crap the entire pregnancy, Called me names 24/7, constantly yelled at me for no reason, made fun of me in front of his friends, and even let them call me names and make rude comments about me. I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup or any clothes other than baggy shorts and an oversized shirt. The entire summer I was pregnant I was trapped in our tiny room all day every day until he got home, which was usually around 3 am, he would get off work and go drink and hang out with his friends, come back drunk yell at me for the room being too dirty make food and go to sleep. I wasn’t allowed to see my friends or family, and when the baby was born, he was mad. I wanted my mom and siblings to be there. I left him a few months ago; I packed everything took the baby and left while he was at work, he apologized profusely, promising to change begging for me back. We’re talking and hang out on weekends, but he’s starting to fall back into old patterns, he wants to get married, but I can’t live a life like that again, should I trust that he’s going to change or should I leave for good? He says he loves our son, but he’ll hold him for 5 minutes and pass him off to whoever he can, he yells at him when he cries and tells me it’s all my fault because I spoiled him and now he thinks he’s entitled to attention 24/7. I’m so conflicted because I love him and I want it to work but I’m scared things will never change
How fast can you run?
Think of your son. And run
Get out and never look back
Honey, unless a man wears a diaper you cant change him lol you did the right thing keep it up and dont let him back in
Noooo don’t go back please you and your son both deserve better
Do not go back and sure as hell don’t get married
Why would you ever question raising a child in an environment like that? LEAVE.
He will never change.
You do not want your son growing up in a toxic environment like that.
U have a child now. Don’t go back
Throw the entire piece of shit in the trash, set it on fire, and run.
He sounds like a Narcissist. Run.
Leave as fast as u can and DON’T look back!!! That’s fkin terrifying!! U have ur son to protect. He is your world now not that monster.
Omg FUCK NO!!!
He showed you who he really is, believe him
Leave!!! They don’t change!!!
Leopard doesn’t change his spots. You know he’s not gonna change. Have respect for your self and don’t go back. You can and will do better if not for you for your child
Don’t think he will change. He won’t.
Hun, he will not change. You need to do what’s best for your son and yourself and that is to have nothing to do with him.
This won’t change…it’s hard to walk away but if you are out stay out it will just make it harder to leave later when things are even worse
Run and never look back.
This isn’t a real question. You already know the answer
He’s already abused you once. Why go thru it again and let it get worse? He’s already showing flags like before and you know where they lead. Why do that to yourself or your child? Do you want them being raised to believe abuse equals love?
He doesn’t love you, get the hell out of there,love your son he deserves a happy Mother.
Hell no! Girl run and run fast.
If you have already escaped, why would you ponder going back??? He won’t change
If he’s already falling back into his ways the question of “should I trust that he’ll change” is pretty obviously already answered
Sweetie that’s not real love. You have a baby who will give you the best kind of love back. Pour that love into him. Leave and don’t look back.
DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM!
DO NOT MARRY HIM!
If for no other reason - think about your child’s future with someone like that as a parent. He will be spending his adulthood recovering from his childhood.
You shouldnt even be thinking about going back to him if he yells at your son. Your son comes first. He deserves a healthy environment!
It’s not going to change. Since you still have feelings for him you’re gonna go through this a few more times before you wise up and kick his a** to the curb
He will never change. If he was going to he would have done it a long time ago. Keep your baby safe and yourself and don’t go back.
Do NOT go back! Stop talking and hanging out with him. If you go back you may never have the opportunity to leave again. He may make sure if that. He will NEVER change. If that was an option he would have done it already! Think of your child. They don’t need that toxicity in their life
Why would you want to have a child in that type of environment? Just because you “love” him doesn’t mean it’s right nor okay to have your son in an unstable environment.
He’s never going to change. He’s only telling you what you want to hear. For Christ sake HE LET HIS FRIENDS MAKE FUN OF YOU. ISOLATED YOU FROM YOUR FAMILY. No don’t go back. THINK ABOUT YOUR SON!!
It was very brave of you to pack up and leave and it would of been so unexpected. He won’t change, I’ve been there trust me when I say, the right thing to do is use the power you had the day you left and hold onto that tight. He doesn’t want you to have power, he has no place in your life now. If he wants to see your son set up a schedule for that
Please don’t go back there.
My ex wanted to sort things out after we had our bub. I was going to take a step in that direction this Christmas… I honestly felt I loved a new man. But he was seeing someone behind my back the whole time lying about. Sleeping in my bed, next to our son, holding me at night playing happy families. A leopard never changes it’s spots, they might mask over them only to get what they want! Please don’t go back there. You got this on your own! Keep your baby safe
Tell him actions speak louder than words, tell him he needs to go and start alcohol counseling and marriage counseling and he needs to learn how to let out his feelings in a healthy manner and not take it out on you and the baby! Or leave cause it won’t change honey!
He’s not gonna change plz don’t marry this man get
Out while you can if he’s treating you this bad
You don’t want your child growing up thinking it’s ok to treat women that way. And talking from experience… he not gonna change. He’ll just keep making excuses, play victim, apologize and you’ll go back. It will be a vicious cycle and will slowly break you down to where u feel worthless, unlovable, can’t move on, depression… and your baby will see all of that.
He treated you like a prisoner. Why go back to that???
Leave. It is the safest for your child and yourself. He has already shown you what a piece a work he is. They never change.
Don’t go back, he wont change. If he really wanted to he would of when you first left
Girl he won’t change !
He’s never going to change you go back with him you’re going to regret it and don’t waste any more of your years on him
If you want to test it tell him you think I should only be friends and see how he reacts to you I bet you he becomes rude obnoxious and calls you many
Read what you wrote. What would your advice be to someone who wrote that? Trust me, it will only get worse, once you get married. He is abusing you emotionally. Keeping you isolated is abuse. He is immature and needs to control you to feel power. Don’t do this to your child. Leave, file child support and move on with your life.
You don’t love him. You love the idea of mom n dad being together. Do not for a second think putting yourself in that situation is what’s best for you
If you truly care for your son then you will stay far away from him. If he treats your child like that who knows how worse it will get as time goes on. He is abusive and you are in the cycle of abuse. Abusers will tell you all the things you want to hear and apologize and as soon as you are back in his grasps he will continue to do the same thing but then it will get harder for you to leave him. So take it from all these wonderful women you need to stay away!
Things won’t change, that man is just trying to manipulate you so he can control you. Please don’t go back to him.
On top of everything… he yells at your child when he cries? He sounds like a complete piece of shit. Run run run
Run babygirl. Y’all don’t have to be together to raise a stable son. Don’t let him manipulate you into coming back. Definitely don’t want your son to think that behavior is ok either
Run fast and run far. He will NOT change!
Leave him and don’t look back
You’re calling him a piece of work but look at yourself your child deserves better parents cuz who the fuck runs back to someone who yells at their baby?! Get help so that kid can have a better mom smh
Don’t go back.You got out once.He could really hurt you or that baby.He is not going to change.He’s just being good to you right now to get you back home then start it all again.
Why would u love someone like this? It sounds like he was shitty from the beginning…
Things will NEVER change. RUN! You will fall into a cycle of taking all you can, leaving, and going back. Kids don’t need to live like that. He’s controlling and sounds like a total asshole. Leave him!
Omg if you take him back you really are being stupid. Im sorry to be so harsh but wake TF up. He abused you that’s abuse! Do not go back to that. I promise you if you do all the same shit will happen and worse. Please be smart. For your child please do not go back to him. That ain’t love none of it. He doesn’t love you that’s like , proven by his actions and you probably don’t even love him, you just think you do because he has broken you with his abuse. Go to court, get custody get the law on your sidez child support,all that stuff and do not take this man back. You will only be sorry if you do.
It’s too late for change. Be smart
Run! He’ll never change
RUN as fast as you can
Seriously? He yells at your baby for crying, but you love him and want to go back? Idiot
are u for real are u mad leave dis scambag n move on a leopard will neva change its spots dnt drag an innocent child in dis madness
I can’t believe you stayed that long🤦🏼♀️this is all red flags and abuse. He will not change. He is not a man or a father. Don’t even consider going back. He just wants the control, don’t let him have it. Your child at least should not be subjected to seeing that.
He’s a loser, end of story. No one should tell you what to wear. You are being abused, at least mentally.
Do not go back at all he is telling u what u want to hear and treating u nicely making you believe he has changed but he’s only doing this to get u back so he can regain control over u then ur trapped… typical narcissist behaviour so stay away and keep yourself and your baby safe
That is abuse. It’s an abusive relationship. This is not the kind of relationship you want your child to think is normal. It’s not.
He’s not gonna change. I wouldn’t go back with him u gotta keep safe and ur child safe ur son should be ur first priority. My second daughter dad wanted me back after I left him but I blocked him on Facebook, changed my number wouldn’t tell him where I was at cuz he would try to find me I bumped into him and his son at a burger king while I was babysitting my friends tow kids he wanted me to go to his sons baseball games and stay the night with him I lied and told him I had plans which I didn’t. So I wouldn’t go back into a toxic relationship that baby and u don’t deserve that.
Seriously? Why would the thought of getting back together even cross your mind??
He is manipulating you please for the love of yourself and your child realize that and don’t fall for it.
I am telling you from experience he will never change! Do not get back together with him. 18 years later and mine still acts that way and we are not together. He used my kids as pawns for his game.
This will never change and I think you know that.
Listen to yourself, do you really want your child to feel the same way you did? Take his ass to court and get the child support rolling in
Please dont. Please dont.
They don’t change their spots probably be even worse second time. Love yourself and that baby and move on
Do NOT go back. Read what you wrote and remember how bad he made you feel. Do yourself and your kid a favor and walk away. If you get back with him, then dont ever complain about how bad he treats you…since you knew and went back. That would be your fault. You got out, so STAY OUT.
Girl you should run as fast as you can with your baby and don’t look back. Don’t ever let that sorry excuse of a human in your life!
It takes a lot of strength to leave an abusive relationship and you did it! Embrace your new found freedom and happiness, he can be part of you and his babies life without being with you. Do not get sucked back in. Only 3% of abusers actually change!
That’s how my sons father was. Only difference was I was still in high school and WE lived with my parents and he left me saying MY family was controlling when they stood up for me. I didn’t want to marry him either and told him so. It never gets better. He won’t change and if you do go back I doubt he will give you the chance to leave ever again. It will be worse and he will be even more controlling. And he will do the same thing to your baby that he’s doing to you right now. No friends. No outside life
He will change enough to get you back in his house and treat you the way he always has. His ego is crushed because you left him and if you go back he will kick you out with nothing and won’t let you leave with the baby trust me I know. I had to go file for custody of my own child and did not see my baby for 3 months.
Keep goin!! Dont look back and dont go back!!!
NOOOOOoooOoooOoooOo!! Ur goin backwards!! U are infatuated!! Google it!! U are in an abusive relationship!!! U need to run!! Run as fast as U can and never look back no matter what U feel!! U need to protect ur BABY!! They will go up to believe that behavior is ok!! OR end up with someone just like that!! Use that as motivation to RUN FOR UR LIVES!!!
I’m pretty sure you already know the answer to this and you are just needing validation. Do what’s best for you and your child and move on.
Leave him! He wont change you and your son deserve better
He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing he will never change make a new life for you and your baby and be happy
Don’t go back to him and definitely do not get married!!
He will never change. Hes controlling, manipulative, and abusive. All signs of danger. Huge red flags!! Wait for someone else, one day you will find someone who will treat you the right way.
Every word and descriptions about him spells run.
Trust me they don’t change and actually get worse…
Should have left a looooong time ago. He can get bent!
No good change there. Stay away and keep away
Run nothing gonna change!!!
Don’t go back. He sounds abusive. And the marriage proposal seems like a trap. It’ll be harder for you to leave once your married. So your own sake don’t go back! You won’t have to beg the right person to change
Do not get married to him. He’s shown you who he is.
Run and keep running. He’ll never ever change
THE BEST PREDICTION OF FUTURE BEHAVIOR IS PAST BEHAVIOR.
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.
HE NEVER DID.
You don’t say how old you are.
You sound young.
Did you grow up in a home like this ?
This is NOT NOT NOT OK.
For you or that sweet innocent child.
Please find GOOD PEOPLE to be around.
Find an older happily married couple.
Spend time with them.
Does he yell at her ?
Call her names ?
Abuse her ?
Honey this is NOT OK.
PLEASE DONT STAY W HIM.
WHILE YOU ARE WITH THE WRONG PERSON…YOU WILL NEVER MEET THE RIGHT PERSON.
THERE MUST BE AN EMPTY SPOT FOR A GOOD MAN TO MOVE INTO.
You say you love him.
WHAT do you love about him ?
This isn’t love.
You are afraid to be alone.
You ARE ALONE.
DO NOT LET HIM YELL AT THAT BABY.
Soon he will hit the baby.
PLEASE GET OUT.
Leave this looser . You and your baby desirve a great life . Not a fool yelling at a baby because it cried. R u n little momma your prince will come along at the right time. For now love that little baby!
Run as fast as you can he will not. Change
He’s not gonna change.
You will find love again. Leave. Love isn’t supposed to hurt.
Leave and don’t take him back or your be 2 kids in and no way out IT WILL GET WORSE! TK THE POJNT THE CHILD WILL SEE AND THINK THATS NORMAL!. he may say the right things but it will not last.
Im sorry but he needs anger management.
U need 1 year of proof of anger management before thinking of going back