Can someone tell me how staying with a man you don’t love is helpful to your children?
You can teach them healthy relationships by co-parenting.
When you stay, the relationship they see is what they strive for bc it appears normal.
Having a happy mother is more beneficial than a miserable one.
So, if your daughter asked you what she should do, what would tell her? 
Do that.
2 Likes
There has to be a reason why you split up… so regardless of the other guy, THAT should be what you are taking into consideration when thinking about getting back with the ex… cause even if the guy wasn’t around you would still be sharing your kids.
Don’t ever stay just because you have kids
Na, if he’s not treating ur son the same as the girls, that’s not right…and need to put all kids best interests first…dont stay with what sounds like a looser…if he really wanted it to work…he make a effort to treat that boy better no child deserves that!
1 Like
Just remember why you split in the first place .
The kids will grow up , they will get older and things will change for them . What won’t change for you is that relationship. One day they’ll be grown and moving on with their own lives , one thing kids need is their parents happy . You need to do what’s best for YOU joint custody is not a bad thing . And doing ONE thing for yourself isn’t a bad thing either . It’s not picking a man over your kids it’s picking yourself over a relationship that you don’t seem to even want .
1 Like
Don’t get back together if you have someone else you prefer. You’ll live forever with the ‘what-if’ and if your relationship with your daughters’ father is fraught you could end up splitting again, which will be even harder the second time. A split is going to be hard for the children but ultimately it’s better than watching their parents in an unhappy or dysfunctional relationship. Model love and hope for them instead of resignation.
1 Like
Stay single and focus on your kids. Date but stay single. They should be the number one priority dealing with going back & forth and getting into a routine. They asked for none of the insecurity and changing relationships they are forced to deal with when parents split up. They are your family now. With 3 kids you should be busy all the time.
1 Like
How does one move from man to man? I’ve never understood this. MAKE YOUR KIDS FIRST!
Stay single and figure out the custody situation before anything. Figure out what red flags you missed with your ex so you don’t repeat it.
4 Likes
Too soon for a commitment of any kind. Date responsibility for a while.
One school is in session one week here and one week there can get really messy unless you both are in the same school area
1 week with Dad and one week with Mom. That’s pretty hard on the kids
1 Like
Do not ever stay with someone for “the sake of the kids” trust me! I was one of those kids! It wound up being a really toxic childhood, dealing with all of our parents bullshit and then they got divorced my sophomore year of high school (im the oldest of 3 and we are all 2 yrs apart). It was HORRIBLE.
I was with my kids dad long enough to realize his narcissism was eating away at my soul and he was starting to be extremely verbally and emotionally abuse to me in front of out boys. I was not going to let my children grow up in a toxic home like I did, nor was I going to let them grow up thinking that its okay to treat people that way.
Not saying its abusive, but staying with someone you don’t honestly want to be with IS ABUSIVE to your children and will effect them long into their own personal lives.
Be a Positive role model for your kids.
Id rather my kids be in 2 separate but healthy ans happy homes and 1 toxic and unloving home.
Why would you move in with someone after 6 months you don’t even really know then. Why not just date longer.And if your son is going to feel left out why would you even pick that? Focus on yourself you don’t even know what you want.
2 Likes
Don’t mess up you and your child’s lives. Hold still and don’t bring another person in the mess
Your ex is seeing that you are desirable to someone else. Only reason he is wanting back. Don’t stay for the kids. Ever. If moms not happy kiddos aren’t happy. And to be honest. If you weren’t mentally available, you never would have found someone else. You already have moved on.
10 Likes
Never pick a man Over your kids, period. Is this a real question?
1 Like
Kids first no matter what. No man worth leaving your kids, especially only known him 6 months.
1 Like
An ex is an ex for a reason.
You need to stop having children till you grow up kids don’t deserve this type of neglect
5 Likes
I have a joint custody agreement with my ex husband of mon/tues home with me, wed/thurs with dad and then back home Fri/sat/sun…then opposite next week. We both have them half the time and nobody has to go very long without seeing each other! I couldn’t go an entire week without my kids, and I wouldn’t want dad to either. We obviously live in the same school district and take care of to/from school on our respective days…it’s worked out very well for almost 5 years now. As for you personally I would def say not to stay in a relationship for the sake of your kids!! Make yourself and your happiness a priority but at the same time put your kids right up there too!! Sometimes we think staying is what is the right thing to do when in the end after you move on you find that the kids can feel the unhappiness and tension and they prefer their parents to be happy too, even if it’s not together!!
5 Likes
If you aren’t happy it won’t matter. Your kids need you happy, not seeing both parents together unhappy.
2 Likes
Your kids always come first.
2 Likes
Six months is way too soon to make this kind of decision
8 Likes
Do you need to decide now? I mean don’t move in with the guy but keep seeing him.
I think the kids have probably had enough upheaval for now.
Also remember the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.
7 Likes
where is the boys father in all this mess? Stay by yourself for awhile!
2 Likes
Don’t go back to ur ex for ur kids sake… there’s a reason y’all aren’t together… did he want you back since you moved on?
8 Likes
Kids first in my opinion.
Follow your heart. Love will do the rest. 
1 Like
It won’t be for your children…trust me!
Kids always come first. You do whats best for all of them
1 Like
If being with the dad was best for the kids then you never would have left him.
31 Likes
Your kids deserve to see you happy and thriving. Not settling. If being with new guy will make you happier in the end, then that’s what is best for yourself and your kids. Week on week off is definitely hard but at least their Dad is still actively being their Dad and the dynamics of you not being there constantly will get easier for them eventually. Just cuz he’s their father, doesn’t mean you being with him is what is best.
8 Likes
Honestly you need to give yourself a break, focus on you for a bit girl!
5 Likes
How about just be by yourself for a while and figure out your life. That way when a decision like this comes around again. You won’t have such a hard time making a choice. Cause you’ll know yourself, and trust your choices. Maybe just focus on you and your babies.
6 Likes
No man is worth losing my child.
3 Likes
This may seem a bit harsh, however, as a product of parents who stayed in a toxic marriage for 10 years too long “for their kids” please do yourself a favor and just don’t. You broke up for a reason. Do yourself and your babies a favor, leave the past in the past, learn to coparent, and help each other with your babies, and do the best for them that you both can. That’s what they need. There is no need to put yourself and them through an emotional hell if it’s not gonna make you happy, so just don’t.
18 Likes
If you could, get your own place and have your kids. Then you can see the new guy, take it slow, go out with him and your kids, do things with you, the guy. Talk, hangout. See how things will go. You need to be happy as well. Parents need to be happy for the kids. If your not happy then kids won’t be.
3 Likes
I’m sorry you will always love your kids first, but you can’t decide on your happiness that way. Kids are resilient and you should never stay just for them. If you don’t love him then go! Not necessarily for another man either
2 Likes
Well you feel that way because that’s what you’re doing. Absolutely NO man is worth giving up your kids for. Imagine how they would feel. DAFAQ
1 Like
Always pick your kids !!!
2 Likes
If it’s bad enough that you are separated then he is probably manipulating you to stay with him. I have been there and nothing changed ! Think this over carefully .
1 Like
You’re not losing your kids. You’re adjusting. Their dad is just as much of a parent as you are & your kids & him deserve to have that week as well to spend their time together. 6 months compared to your kids lifetime they spent with you guys together is going to be hard. Stick to your schedules & it will come with time. The first yr after my daughters dad & I split, was HARD. Especially figuring out holidays. But we managed. My daughter is HAPPIER in 2 homes. She is loved in two homes. She is well taken care of in two homes. & we can coparent well bc of a schedule & for the sake of our daughter. Don’t “stick it out” bc your kids will remember. It’s not easy having to do this, but you & your children, will make it through for the better. Best of luck to you & your babies
1 Like
And I’m gonna go for the other option of choosing yourself. It’s hard real hard. How old are your 3?
Wait to decide anything. Time sometimes help
1 Like
Don’t ever stay for the kids. You have to be happy too. You’re not losing your kids. They’ll adjust
1 Like
Went through so much trauma and developed so much self esteem and unhealthy coping mechanisms for my parents staying together for " our sake" yeah don’t even put that Into the equation. Leave if it’s bad. Go find someone who is nice and caring and build boundaries and values to teach to your kids instead of weakness and everything that comes from a toxic relationship.
1 Like