I really think he should be getting up. BUT. I have fallen back asleep on the couch or whatever after the kids have woken up. Same with my husband. Especially my husband (he works second and doesn’t get home til 1 or 2 am…sometimes later). Maybe just start going over like “don’t answer the door for anyone, this is how you call 911 if you can’t wake up daddy” etc
If he’s not able to even fall asleep until 5/6 am…then only sleeping until 1130is…that’s only 5 to 6 hours of sleep as it is.
Asking him to go down to 3-4 hours of sleep is probably going to end up getting him fired when he’s too tired to do his job.
I imagine it would be difficult to get up just an hour later and actually be awake. I suppose he could just stay up until you get home but that means he would need to sleep later in the day.
If you’ve never worked those hours you cannot imagine how utterly brutal they can be.
Letting her stay up a little later so she’ll sleep a little later isn’t a terrible idea.
We’ve let our youngest stay up later and he gets up later…He’s got afternoon Pre-K.
But this way I get our oldest up (ADHD and autism) and can keep him on track easier.
You could also set something up so that your daughter can entertain herself in your room until you get home if it’s only for an hour.
Or get her up a little earlier and take her with you.
This is the type of situation where you have to compromise. You have to understand exactly what you’re trying to ask of your husband and see what can be done so everyone’s NEEDS are met.
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Depends on the kid. My daughter was fine for that long.
I mean my 3 and 4 year old will wake up before myself and my 1 year old and just grabs their iPads and watch those for a bit until they’re hungry for breakfast then they wake me up on the weekends but during the week we wake up together for school and daycare
She’s 4, what if she chokes on something or decides to play cook and burns herself or house down. He needs to GET UP🙄
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I mean, she probably is okay for an hour, but as a mom I wouldn’t be okay with it. Dad should definitely be up with her. Isn’t second shift an off by like, 11pm? Why is he staying up so late and not being up with his child??
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my 4yr old gets up and goes to the couch and watches tv while we sleep but my bedroom is also off the livingroom so
If you think she is she is. Some kids can be trusted to get up, get their morning snack and watch tv. Others would burn the house down. You know your child.
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She’s fine! As long as she can’t get out the door. I would get a door alarm if your worried about that. They are like $10 at Walmart.
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My 5 year old, and 7 year old sometimes wake alot earlier then me. They sit on the lounge and watch TV quietly.
I see no harm, but obviously depending on your child. As every child is different.
My kids know not to use anything, they also know to wake me. But they choose not to, because they usually watch a movie.
She is fine. My daughter was getting up by herself when she was 3 . She would watch tv or play with her toys if she was hungry she would wake me other than that she knew not to touch the over or the door.
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Nope it’s unsafe to leave a 4 year old unattended. Good luck though
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I think this all depends on the child maturity level. Which we can’t know because we are strangers. My daughter was 3 when she would get up and go get a bottle of juice and a cup, bring it to me in bed and ask me to pour some. She would sit and watch TV until I was out of bed.
I worked a full time and a part time job plus going to school. I was exhausted.
1 hour is alot of time for a kid to do alot of things that can harm her.
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Depends on the kid honestly. My 10 year old has always been an early riser like 5/6 am. So when he was 4 he would just go and turn on the TV and watch cartoons (I would turn the TV off on Disney or nick Jr so that would be on when he work up. Sometimes he would come and ask me to put in a movie in my room and I’d go back to sleep. My 7 year old is a late sleeper she has always slept till 10/11 by then I’m already up and showered .
I feel like it really depends on the child. Both of mine get up often, but are known to stay in the house. They also know what not to get into. Just depends as every child is different.
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If you think she is responsible enough to do it on her own then thats fine, every child is different, I would not trust my 4 year old but he’s also special needs so thats why
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I think just to spend more time with her your husband should get up with her until you get home. Besides that though,it depends on the Child and if she just plays with toys or if she’s the type to get into everything.
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It depends on the child. My boys 5/6 have been waking before us and they will either play in the room on their tablet or watch TV. They also have access to some toys. However, keeping your kiddo up till 11 is a bit unhealthy. I would allow for the 1 hr of TV in the morning vs late nights. Again, it depends on how mature the child is and if they can be trusted
I would put a child proof thing on the door/knob that she can’t reach and maybe give her an iPad and some headphones that she can get if she wakes up before daddy. And then she can watch it while she lays in bed with him or on the floor …or a little chair in the room
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Maybe put a tv or tablet in your room or move the child to there own room and put a TV in. I personally wouldn’t let a four year old just wander through the house even if the parent’s sleeping
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Depends on the kid I suppose. My daughter used to wake me up, I’d move and nap on the couch (I’m a relatively light sleeper) I usually have cups for her in the fridge and some food low for her. Granted mine was out of necessity as I had thyroid cancer and the fatigue/exhaustion was out of this world and my kids were forced to adapt.
I think she’s fine, as long as you trust us she actually needs help with something she can be patient or wake dad up. If she’s just getting up to watch TV or play she’s ok for an hour.
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Why don’t you take her on the morning bus route too? She shouldn’t be by herself and he needs his sleep.
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It all depends on your child…
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As long as she can’t get out of your home. My oldest would do this so we set up her cereal in a bowl, covered with plastic wrap and a cup of milk in the fridge. She would have her breakfast and watch her cartoons.
Can you take her on your morning run? Do you have a Tv in your room you can put on before leaving?
Depends on the child’s maturity.
Our daughter was very sensible at the age of four.
On Saturday mornings, we would leave a bowl of cereal on the counter with a small cup of milk in the fridge for her. She’d make her cereal and watch cartoons for an hour by herself.
She knew to come to us with any questions or concerns.
It’s not like we were leaving her in the house alone.
Not all children can do this, as they wander around the house, getting into stuff and cannot be trusted.
Trust your instincts.
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My daughter at 4 could get up and make her own breakfast and play quietly on her iPad if I wanted to sleep in.
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It’s not safe honestly and why is it OK for him to think his sleep is more important than yours?
I worked 2nd and it’s not easy to come home and go right to sleep, but he doesn’t need to be up until 5 or 6.
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It really depends on the kid. My oldest two, absolutely. They still get themselves up and keep busy now at ages 5 & 6. I come out around 7 to make them breakfast and they don’t bother me before that unless it’s urgent. I’ve even left a bowl of cereal and cup of milk for them to make their own bowl when I didn’t have a good night of sleep and knew I wouldn’t be up at 7 like normal. They handled it fine; ate and put their stuff in the sink, wiped up any messes. They like the independence 
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She could get into alot of bad things that could hurt or worse. She should b in her own bed. Staying up for a hr is not gonna hurt ur husband. Crazy think of ur child’s safety
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That’s longer then 1hr
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Both my boys at that age was getting up watching TV grabbing a snack till momma woke up all depends on ur child some can be trusted some can’t only you can make that decision
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I also work at a bus company granted I have 3 kids my husband works 2nd shift and gets up and moves to the couch when I leave for work but he also takes the 2 older ones to their bus stop and then is home with our 3 year old. You husband should at least get up and move to the couch and he can go back to bed when you get home
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It is OK for a 4 year old to be awake and alone but I wouldn’t say for 2 hours. To me an hour is too long. Make him realize the importance of a routine and schedule. And that his daughters schedule and routine might be an important part of her development
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Depends on kid in morning my little one will get up so when I have to take her brother to school I’ll put a movie on and tell her if she needs something to go and wake up her dad and she does she usually just lays around until I’m back
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No, she shouldn’t be left alone by herself. That being said if he goes to bed at 600 and is back up at 1130, that is only 5 hours of sleep. You can’t expect him to stay up until 830 and then get back up 3 hours later. Hire a sitter for those couple hours you will be on the bus.
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I’m baffled. Why don’t you take her on your morning run? She’s 4. If anything happens you are literally held responsible. And do not put all the blame on your husband. This baby is 4. Let me say that again, but louder. THAT BABY IS 4!!!
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Whether she is ok depends on the child and her level of maturity. I would for sure have cameras to peek in and check on her. There is absolutely zero reason her father cannot wake up and pay attention though. Even if he was at least in the same room with her snoozing that would be better. If he is so concerned about getting more sleep then he should get to sleep earlier. The other option would be to pay for a sitter to come while he “needs his sleep”. If he wants you to keep her up later and that interferes with getting some housework done-then he should be doing some of the housework when he gets home or before he leaves
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All the people who say to take her kid to work with her instead of a grown ass man actually watching his own child is freaking ridiculous. Second shift does not mean sleeping all day to you don’t ever see or watch your kid. What a terrible “compromise” to have your kid stay up later so when she does get older it’s going to be a pain to switch to something normal for her to go to school in the morning. That’s your kids life cycle he thinks playing around with is OK. Throw the whole useless man out. Ugh.
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If he works second shift, he should be going to sleep before 530 or 6 am. He needs to be a more active role in your family’s everyday routine. No, do not change your daughters bedtime and her routine. He is the adult, he needs to make the changes.
But a 4 year old should be okay to watch TV once she wakes up until someone is awake with her, as long as she understands to not open the door and such.
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I would say it’s good as long as she knows u know don’t answer the door don’t go outside my four year old would play while I slept when I was pregnant and sick af 
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Compromise, have hubby sleep on couch when he gets home, that way when she wakes up he will be there. Also set an alarm and make sure doors/windows secure.
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My 4 year old gets up and watches her tablet or tv in her room til we wake up on weekends… I’m up before her during the week. But sometimes on weekends she’s probably up for an hour by herself. I get up by 7:30, but sometimes she’s up around 6:30 she knows not to answer the door or go outside. And she knows to wake me up if she needs something
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Working third shift is hard. He needs as much sleep as you do but he can only sleep when the rest of the world is awake. I’ve never let my 4yos be awake without me. But if your home is safe (dangers like poisons put out of reach, doors locked & she can’t unlock them etc) I don’t really see harn in it.
Also keeping her awake later may not solve the problem. Some people just have internal clocks that will wake them up no matter when they go to sleep. When I let my kids stay up later on breaks or weekends they get up EARLIER than normal. I can’t explain it. It just happens.
No, they’re to curious anything can happen… find a babysitter, take her with, or maybe daddy can go to bed earlier and help out or quit your job. An unattended 4 year old could burn the house down… not to mention if the wrong person finds out you’ll have cos at your door. I have a friend that had her child taken away because she slept while her child was awake. Sad world!
If you have to leave her I’d have her watch an iPad in bed with daddy. & have him keep the door shut, maybe even locked so she can’t get out without waking him up. Some kids can be good while alone and some can’t.
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If your husband works second shift why is he not on a better schedule himself??? Second is not third shift??? You and him both know she shouldn’t be up alone at that age…. They get into all kinds of stuff still and she can open doors. Come on now! Set 5 f!cking alarms for his azz!!! Because he needs to get up! 
And secondly why are you trying to figure this out and he’s not helping??? Him getting up with her will solve the issue, right? Tell him to go to sleep at a decent time bc he doesn’t work nights and if he doesn’t… well suck it up buttercup. He needs to get up!
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At age 4 the child is too young to be up at 4am. She should still be sleeping and you should stop using the TV as a babysitter for her.
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My kids would be fine. Depends on the kiddo.
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I’d say as long as you have the “dangerous” stuff locked up and the house 100% locked so she can’t get out. You’ll be okay. If you know her routine is to go to the couch, you could get one of those 20/30$ cameras that you can view from your phone and you even speak into it. Maybe even set her out a snack so she doesn’t get “curious” looking to eat something.
Others have suggested the locking the bedroom which works but assuming your 4 year old is potty trained she probably goes to the bathroom when she wakes…
Seems like dad needs to come home and go to bed. I’d say it depends on your kid. I have wyze cameras in my living room and kitchen. You can watch them live and continously. I work second shift and am up to get my kids on the bus and just go back to sleep when they leave.
He needs to move to couch or put a TV in bedroom where she can watch tv in room
To young to be running around house within someone watching her…
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My daughters when they were younger always got up really early and watched TV and ate cereal. I’d make them a bowl, turn on shows, and lay back down on the couch or keep them in my room with me. I’d say she’d okay as long as she’s within earshot of dad!! They should be in the same room.
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If she is awake and staying in the room with him while he sleeps for an hour, she seems fine. Leave her a cup of water and some breakfast snacks in there and make sure she knows to stay right in there with daddy. You can tell her it’s a little job to “keep him safe while he finishes sleeping.” Give her a reward for doing her job each week, something small so it encourages her to stay in there with him.
As long as she’s not getting into stuff and wandering the house, it’s gonna be okay lol. You’d be suprised at how many kids wake up and just watch TV/Tablets while their parents are asleep because they’re just up.
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Well see this might be ok if she stayed in your bedroom with him to watch TV and if he knew she was up. But if he stays up till 6am anyway why can’t he get her up at 6 feed her breakfast and then keep her in bed with him to watch tv? I don’t really think its ok to leave her wandering the house without someone at least being aware she’s up. I know I sleep a lot lighter if I know my kids are up early. But I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing my 4 years old was wandering around unattended. I mean this is hard. He is home and if he just won’t get up for his daughter and if it’s your only option, its your only option. This should be his problem not yours. It’s only an hour… he could go to sleep long before 6am to get up with her for an hour. Thats what I had to do. But my kids would have stayed in the room with me and I woukd have woke up if they got up. Idky he doesn’t go to bed eariler than 6 am tho. When I worked 2nd shift I got home at 3am and was in bed at 4am, woke up at 7am to get my older kids to school and then stayed up with my 3 year old to feed her breakfast and do morning stuff. Then when she was ready for a nap by 930-10 I would lay down with her till 1230-1 of course she would be up the last hour but I’d just get her a snack and turn on a show for that hour and she would stay in bed with me until I got up to do her lunch and get the kids off the bus at 3 right before I had to leave for work. My husband thought his sleep was more important than mine was tho and he acted like i just slept all day which was absurd because I worked 3pm-3am so I obviously needed to sleep at some point But he left for work at 5am and it just fell on me to sacrifice my sleep for my daughter’s well being. I feel your husband should give you the same courtesy. I mean I did it for over a year theres no reason he can’t just get to sleep eariler and get up with her for an hour while your at work. He expects you to watch her when he’s at work doesn’t he? I worked a hard labor intensive job for 10 hours (12 driving) a night and got 6 hours of broken up sleep, (3 hours sleep, 3 hours up, 3 hours sleep) and my husband wasn’t even supportive like you are for your 2nd shift husband. He needs to think about his daughter. It’s ridiculous for him to tell you to disrupt her sleep and keep her up later so he can sleep. And ps keeping her up later will not make her sleep later, it will just deprive her of needed sleep and make her cranky all day.
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Greets you at the door? I’d be worried about that! What if she just wondered out the door? Or let a stranger in? 
my 4yr is awake IN HER BED before me sometimes but she don’t dare try to get up and go around the house! And def not a cpl hrs.
my kids always got uo an watched tv on there own since like 4-5yrs so idts. i habe everything dangerous put up tho and if their hungry or need something theyd come get me 
also it doesn matter what time she goes to bed, she still get up early lol. 
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Sounds more like your husband needs a routine. He works second shift there’s no reason for him to stay up all night as if he works 3rd shift. When he comes home he should take only an hour to an hour an a half to wind down and go to bed. Most second shift gets out between 11pm-12am so he should be to be no later than 2am. That’d give him time to get home have a snack unwind maybe watch tv or play a game. Then he should be going to sleep that way he can get up around the same time as your daughter does so one he spends time with her and two she isn’t unsupervised. An when you get home he can go take an hour or two nap get up an see you an your daughter for a bit more before you have to head out an she has preschool and he has to go to work. Your daughter needs the schedule she is on bc she is going to be starting school with in a year so altering what you already have in place for her will mess her up for school. Get your husband on a better schedule not only for his health but also for you an your daughters quality time with him.
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4 years old is old enough to be up by themselves. Well, that’s if they have been taught boundaries. Hubby should be able to sleep. He seems like he’s trying to have a regular routine despite working so late. People that work day shift don’t immediately go to sleep when they get home. Neither should he, if he doesn’t want to.
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Also, if he asked you to put her on a new sleep schedule, you should do that, since you don’t feel comfortable with her staying up alone.
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I think every kid is different, but so are the times we live in. I used to get up at 3 years old… and feed the cat. But I was a very independent kid. We lived in a small rancher and my mom would usually be awake… shortly after. You know your kiddo…so only you know. Best of luck mamw
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It depends on your kid. Our 4 year old has been doing this and is fine she lets the dogs out and feeds them then watches something for an hour or so since she is a very early riser no matter how late she stays up. When you go for your run you could set out breakfast for her so it’s ready to go.
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I definitely wouldn’t at 4 they are very curious at that age. I’d be asking him to get up n if she awake before you leave I’d take her with you.
I think as long as your house is baby proof and all doors and windows are locked where she has no way of getting out you’re fine. Buy a camera from online. We bought some called YI Home and they came with 4 cameras for less than $100 you can talk through them and everything. Just get cameras and keep an eye in her. Also make sure she knows not to eat anything until you get home and that if there’s an emergency to wake up dad. Everyone’s life is different and you do what keeps your family running.
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My son is 4, he wakes up at any given time. If I’m asleep he’ll just turn on his tv and watch it in bed. If he needs something he’ll wake me up. I’m usually so exhausted dealing with my 3 yr old who’s up constantly so the only real solid sleep I get is early hours of the morning. He’s a respectful boy who understands and just entertains himself in his room.
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My kid has basically always gotten up, got their tablet and just laid beside me for an hour, now she’ll just get her self a snack and chill, I’m usually lazing about in bed slowly waking up, never once got into trouble, and she’s five I’m not worried.
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Also what time is husband getting home from work… cuz if he’s off by 10 or 11 pm he needs to be going to bed earlier than 5am. If he went to bed by 1am he could be up at 6 or 7 am with her till you get home then lay back down for a nap or something.
Oh heck no, do you know what a 4 yr old can get into? Wake him up, that is His child too.
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He could sleep in the living room while she watches tv till you get home. As long as she knows the things she is not allowed to get into and all she does is snack or eat breakfast then that should be fine. Yes it is hard working nights but he has to watch her. Also talk to her about not opening the door even if it is just you. Stranger danger needs to be taught.
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She’s fine. She’s safe, if you need peace over it install a camera. You can get one for 10-20 bucks and watch it on your phone. Can even talk to her thru it. There’s usually a 10$ a month fee with them like a subscription but it’s worth it.
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It definitely depends on the maturity of the child. My daughter gets up before us (sometimes) and will watch tv or play her tablet in the living room. She knows she is always able to wake one of us up if she needs us, but she’s pretty independent. She knows not to open or answer the door, knows not to play with certain things, etc.
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My daughter is four and since about the age of three will let her get up on her own she will usually come turn the TV on or grab her tablet or sometimes she’ll come come get in bed with us, she knows how to make her own cereal pop tarts waffles etc. so if she’s hungry she’ll make some food and just hang out eventually she gets bored and wants us to get up so if we haven’t already woken up she’ll come get us but she’s very understanding and trustworthy smart child, my second kid have no clue if she’ll be ready she’s a bit more of a wild things than my oldest is
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He needs to either set an alarm to get up or teach her the rules of being up by herself.
I’d only worry if she’s making her own snacks! It takes less than 2 minutes for things to go very bad if the kid chokes and a parent is asleep and unaware! This has always freaked me out so one of us is always awake, he can suck it up and make coffee, chill and get to know his kid!
No my children have been getting up by themselves in the morning since they were 1. I gave them espresso while they were sleeping… through an IV (of course) This made them get up much faster in the morning❤️
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Depends on the child. If she opens the door to greet you I would be concerned!
Depends on the maturity level of your child and the lengths you go to make sure it’s safe to do so.
No way would I allow my 4 year old child to be up alone while dad sleeps. A parent has to be up with them. In case something happens.
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I mean my 4 and 5 year old watch tv while I sleep. I don’t understand what’s the big deal lol. As long as she can’t get outside.
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Maybe if she was like watching tv in the same room as him if he’s a light sleeper with some snacks and stuff sitting right next to him so if she gets up he can wake up to see what she’s doing other then that no that’s too young to be just basically alone
She’s fine she probably tries to wake him up but his tired and sleepy and she probably get bored that’s why she goes and opens the door maybe try to leave her somethings todo like her tablet or the tv on so she can watch cartoons
I don’t see the harm in it if it is a safe environment and she is actually just chilling watching tv HOWEVER I would prefer her chilling in the bedroom watching tv while Dad sleeps.
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She is 4. It should be common sense not to leave a 4 year old up to wander around by themselves. What sold she decided she wants to go out and play? No one would know and anything can happen.
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Her staying up for an hour by herself with the TV is fine dad is in the house so she knows she can go wake him up if she needs to. And hate to break it to you but no matter what time you put them to bed at that age they will get up early no matter what lol.
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My kids wake up and watch tv for a few before we wake up. Out bedroom door is always open and the dont open the front door. They have snacks at reach for them.bthey are 4 and 5.
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As long as she’s not going outside and understands the rules she’s fine. Single parents and split shift families have this happen all the time. We put a google home mini in my kiddos from
And she asks it for bluey. She has a drawer in the fridge of foods she can serve herself. Like juice boxes, boxed milk, home made uncrustables.
You could also take her on the morning run could you not?
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Every child is different… you know her best… that’s a question only you can answer
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Every child is different. I was working second shift, single Mom. I wouldn’t get home until about 2-3 am (due to commute) and my daughter woke up at 5. So hard and so draining,. I would prep her breakfast she can easily get to. But rm would Alderson talk shit and wake me up. If you believe your child is ready, 1 hr will be fine as long as she’s locked in the house. Window and door alarms is a great suggestion. We’re all just moms trying to keep a roof over our heads. There’s always a million accidents cab happen but I wish you the best of luck and stay strong mamas
Maybe your husband needs to go to bed earlier to accommodate getting up with his child. That’s the problem here. He seems very inconsiderate. I don’t even like when my 5 year old gets up by herself, 4 is definitely too young.
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She’s fine, my 4 year old is just fine in the mornings if I’m still sleepy, and dad needs to sleep too just like you. But you could put her in morning pre k instead of afternoons and that would make way more sense to me
Not as long as she can be trusted to stay out of trouble like wake dad up if something is wrong she stays inside n can get herself small drinks n snacks I to have a 4yr who’s sleep schedule is crazy n it’s not uncommon to find awake before anyone else is up n ive come to this conclusion
Sure if you want yogurt, cheese, and eggs all over your walls, and cereal all over your floor. 
My 4 and 6 year old will come out to the livingroom and turn on the t.v. or play. That being said. Our livingroom has a close proximity to the bedroom. Its all kinda together. So i can hear them and know if the door is opened, etc. I guess it depends. Is your husband kinda awake. Like i can always hear whats going on even if I’m sleeping. I would suggest getting a lock she cant reach or operate that way she doesn’t get out
If she’s not the type of child that gets into everything or tries to go outside then I don’t see an issue. I’d leave her a cup and snack out so she can eat something while she’s watching tv. There were days my daughter would wake up and watch a movie in her room before she’d wake me up. It just depends on the child.
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Honestly, it depends on the kid. My son is 4 & would be absolutely fine to watch tv for an hour alone. He wouldn’t though, bc he’s afraid of everything lol. My oldest, no way in hell I would’ve left him alone at 4.
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