Is asking for help paying for a wedding cake a big deal?

My guy and I have decided to tie the knot this November after 6 years. We had a commitment ceremony 3 years ago because I wasn't ready to get actually married yet. We paid for it and asked nothing from anyone. Well now that we are actually getting married my parents and his are being absolutely horrible. We are paying for all of it ourselves. I'm not having a bridal party or anything of that nature. We did, however, ask for a little help buying the cake. Just $30 from both sides and we were met with moms crying and saying "well we already have to bring a gift" and dads just plain out ignoring our request. It's made us both feel horrible for even asking and now we're asking ourselves if we should even be doing this even though we've already invested hundreds of dollars into it.
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Depends on your age if your older then no pay for it yourself

Nobody owes you anything

You need $60 that bad? Then you probably shouldn’t be getting married.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is asking for help paying for a wedding cake a big deal?

Uninvite them :woman_shrugging:t4::woman_shrugging:t4:

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Pay for it yourself!!!

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What? Wow.you are both adults right?

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It’s not their job to pay for it. If they don’t want to then don’t force it. Just move on and purchase it yourself.

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Uninvite them and pay for a smaller one by yourself

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I dnt think 30$ is a big deal but if they dnt want to they don’t have to. Its ur wedding & responsibility.

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It’s not a big deal. Buy the cake yourself. Don’t uninvite them, just don’t serve them a slice

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Pay it yourself and move on.

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Tell me you have a sense of entitlement without telling me you have a sense of entitlement

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Just elope or do a courthouse marriage. It’s about the two of you, not your parents or anyone else. No cake needed.

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Getting mad over $60 worth of cake🤦‍♀️

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I’m guessing you guys are older than your “typical” bride and groom. You’re not asking for a lot but you can’t really expect people to chip in even if you were younger. There are plenty of ways to save on your cake though. Maybe just opt for something smaller.

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If your both working adults and already had a commitment ceremony then you should wait to get married until you can afford to pay for everything yourselves.

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Don’t embarrass yourself anymore, remove this post … wow!

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What in the actual… Buy the cake yourself. I mean it is YOUR wedding. 🤷

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It’s $60.00… cut corners somewhere else or just don’t buy cake at all. I’m sorry but $60.00 is not worth the drama … especially if you’ll be spending the rest of your life with them.

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Do it but no need to go overboard. Just pay for it yourselves. It’s not THAT much. If you can’t afford it then dont have the party. Obviously the parents aren’t entirely excited and thrilled.

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I don’t think I would have even bothered asking for money from them? It’s just tacky to ask for $30. to help pay for a cake. You’ve been together for 6 years, that’s plenty of time to save up for a wedding.

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Honestly I see nothing wrong with asking, heck I’d jump at the chance to help my kids.

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Really?! It’s 60.00. You want this. It’s your cake. Buy it yourself. This is ridiculous!

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Not their job to pay for it,yes it would be nice for them to help but you cant get mad over it.Its YOUR wedding :see_no_evil:

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It’s ok to ask and be upset they don’t want to help. But as grown adults move passed it and do it yourself. This way they can never hold it over your head that they helped you. It’s $60 more added to what you’ve already spent. I get It’s more about the support from them but not worth stopping the whole thing

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Do you need a cake? It’s not a necessary part of a wedding. And your parents aren’t required to help at all

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You paid for everything else,Why not pay for the cake also?

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If you can’t afford a 60 dollar cake I have so many questions

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Seems ridiculous your own parents are annoyed over 30$. If we went to any of our parents and asked for 30$, we wouldn’t have any pushback. I guess we are lucky, but we never ask for money from them

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Buy everything yourselves. It isn’t their responsibility.

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If u cant afford a cake then dont get a cake. You shouldnt be asking others to help u tie the knot.

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If you already had a commitment ceremony, you have no right to another ceremony. Get married and move on.

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Why is it their responsibility :thinking:

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Don’t expect parents or anyone to pay for something. If you knew you couldn’t have afforded it, probably should have gone with a cheaper cake.

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Your really questioning your whole wedding day after you spent thousands becouse someone wont pay ÂŁ30 for a cake? :open_mouth: sounds pretty childish tbh

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If $60. is going to make or break your wedding maybe you shouldn’t have a big wedding.

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Grow up and pay yourselves my husband and I payed for our wedding ourselves and then a family vacation to New Jersey at same time

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They are giving you a gift already that’s enough.

Pay for your own cake.

For the dummies that are saying uninvite them or don’t serve them a slice of cake. You guys are pathetic, that’s not how families are supposed to be. Greedy selfish people.

Your wedding, you pay for everything.

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It’s $30’eachbjust pay for it.

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You already had a ceremony to honor your relationship, expecting family to help for something that isn’t necessary is kinda petty and selfish.

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This just has me in complete shock from so many angles.

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Do it but shop around get a small very small wedding cake the serve a sheet cake take pix w a 2 tier and but your own wedding topper or make it out of fresh flowers

Uninvite them. All four of them.

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Seems foolish to make such a big stink over $60.

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As a close friend, I gave the bride $100 cash towards the cake prior to the wedding as our gift. I hope it works out for you!

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Am I the only one wondering where one finds a wedding cake for $60 :thinking:

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Damn some of yall are rude as hell

Your decisions your cost plus cost are minimal. Plus you’re already married there’s a difference.

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There is a ton of rude bitchy answers here Traditionally the brides family supposed to pay for the wedding I don’t see asking for such a small amount is a problem my parents hate me but would hand me $30 if I needed it

I’m going to be the odd one out and say, I don’t understand why the parents are making a big deal out of $30 each. And gifts aren’t required. Parents usually want to help for weddings. Also, it’s a big day for you two, so don’t let your parents or anyone else ruin it for you.

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I’m assuming that you live together already. Should that be the case, my thinking is that a wedding at this point is inappropriate however; your choice is what matters. You are on your own. Don’t expect anyone to help.

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I wouldn’t expect anyone to help pay. Just get married privately. It’s not about anyone else except you two anyways.

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Its 60 dollars I understand might be alot to some but you have 3months to save that literally 20 bucks a month just get the cake yourself

Kinda sad that the parents can’t fork over 30$ to help with the cake they’ll be enjoying as well.
It’s 30$ & if they’re too cheap to help, I would either uninvited them, or tell them they can’t have any :sweat_smile:

No one owes you anything towards your wedding

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Just pay the $60 yourself

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Wow, all the rude comments on here are fucking ridiculous. Sounds more like shit parents on both sides. Don’t let anyone make you feel as though you shouldn’t get another special day! Enjoy yourselves!

I’m guessing since you already had one ceremony 3 years ago and I’m sure they got you gifts then, they are over it now…just get married on your own now🤷‍♀️ it’s not about everyone else and they don’t need to pay for anything

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All this over a 60 dollar cake? Seems petty to me​:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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Its not their wedding and its not like the richest families who the parents help pay like back in the day. Maybe if u cant afford $60 for the cake maybe u should have waited or not had a wedding that cost as much. Its almost extremely petty. Obviously theres sone unresolved issues that wont be fixed by u asking others to pay for your cake. I saw a beautiful 3 tier cake from walmalrr for $40 with beautiful flowers or whatever u want on it. They also have a 2 tier cake for $24.99! So tge cake u are trying to get otger people to pay for is obviously way to costly

Me and my fiancé are paying for our own wedding, you decided to get married so you pay for it! Everyone’s over it now, your already married

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I was raised that it is tradition for the brides family to pay for the wedding. That being said, did the parents help pay for anything for your commitment ceremony? If so then they likely feel that have already contributed.
Although I was raised that the brides parents pay, I have been married once and would never assume or expect that parents pay for another should I choose to do it again.

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Why do you need so many ceremonies? A commitment ceremony and then a wedding? Did you get gifts from the commitment ceremony? When my oldest daughter got married all we could afford was a Wal-Mart pre-made sheet cake and a bag of m&m’s to decorate it. The marriage sucked but the cake was pretty good, I guess.

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Buy a small cake just enough for you and your spouse. Problem solved

I would never ask anyone to help pay for my wedding. Especially if I was an older bride and there has already been one ceremony. Have the wedding you can afford. If they want to help they will offer it’s so tacky to ask anyone for money for something that isn’t an absolute need.

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It’s not their job to buy your wedding cake :rofl:

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Perhaps had you saved the money from the " commitment " ceremony you may have had enough for a nice wedding …

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That’s your responsibility to pay for the cake stuff sorry. And if you’re that upset over not having ppl pay for a cake and ready to cancel everything then y’all really childish seriously and need to grow tf up

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Have the wedding that you can afford. No one should be asked to pay for anything. If they offer, fine. But it’s extremely tacky to ask.

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It ridiculous to me that they can’t fork out 30 dollars each… maybe Iam just old school but I thought the parents of the bride was supposed to help with the wedding?:woman_shrugging:

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Its your wedding, It isn’t up to your parents to pay for anything in regards to that. IF you want a cake you can purchase cake yourselves. You are choosing to get married. You are both adults.

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We paid for everything. I hate feeling like I owe people. If you can’t afford one right now go with something cheaper or don’t have one.

Don’t accept anything so no strings attached. It’ll be easier to just pay for yourselves and you don’t feel indebted.

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Parents paying for a wedding is outdated. Part of being an adult, commiting to eachother and making a life together is the responsibility of y’all two figuring out shit on your own.

Your wedding, your responsibility. I think it’s the new age of entitlement where people expect others to pay for the decisions we make. If you can’t afford $60 for a wedding cake, maybe you shouldn’t have a wedding until you can afford it. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility but yours.

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I’m confused about the commitment ceremony? What did you even have that for? Marriage or a wedding is a commitment, so the way they see it is you already had your day? Did you wear a white dress?

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Just wiggle you budget around and buy your cake hun. Tell them you don’t even want their gifts not to bring one and just enjoy your day

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Eh I wouldn’t want to ask my parents. If they offered that would be nice but I don’t feel like they’re required.

My now husband and I paid for our own wedding. The most expensive thing was my dress. The only thing we didn’t pay for is the food (my grandmother made all the food n drinks) and the cake it was our wedding gift from his “uncle and aunt”. I say if they pay for cake let that be your gift. Keep it simple tho we had a 2 tier cake and ended up with to much left!

For personal events or parties I never ask. People will offer if they so wish to contribute… Also sometime when people pay for things they want a say. I rather save and do it myself. I do realize that some cultures do have sponsorships for big events but you would know if your family did this and would probably have sponsored someone else in the passed.

Been married twice now and both myself and 2 husbands paid for everything but that was our choice

Ask them to pay for their half of the cake as their gift to you rather than bring a gift. (Since they complained about buying a gift and contributing to the cake). I disagree that “you’re adults” “if you can’t afford a cake don’t get it” why are you doing it if you can’t afford it “ ….every couple deserves to be celebrated no matter their age or economic circumstances and it means a lot more than some people obviously realize to have the support of family and friends. Especially your parents. $30 isn’t that much to ask…and if they can’t contribute that ask than what they can afford. Sounds like anything at all would help.

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Go to the Justice of Peace and say I dos…then go pick up a cake ( cheaper ) priced one and enjoy…just the two of you…as thats who its really about anyway…

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You want people to come celebrate with you, buy your own cake

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It isn’t their wedding. It’s you’re. You make it obvious, you didn’t want to get married a few years back and now you’re ready. Why didn’t you save up all the money you needed in those years?? The wedding cake isn’t their responsibility. Its yours!

That’s kinda weird. My guess is that they’re broke and can’t afford to even help buy a cake. I wouldn’t worry too much, you don’t know their money problems.

It’s annoying they are being petty and don’t have enough compassion to want to help out, but that’s their choice. Just make some cuts in other areas or don’t do a cake at all.

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yall grown pay it on yall own

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Really! I think its rude that u have even asked someone else to pay towards your cake. If you want to get married then you should pay for everything… if you can’t afford it… dont get married.

Buy the cake and “poke” their hand with a knife if they try to get some. :rofl:

If 60$ is making you rethink getting married, you have bigger things to worry about…

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Why did you even ask when you clearly stated they are being absolutely horrible. Sounds like more to this issue then you’re telling us. Plus you had a commitment ceremony 3yrs ago. They probably feel you guys are “married” already or the fact that your grown adults and if you can’t pay $60.00 for the cake maybe ya shouldn’t be having another reception… Oh thats right you probably already had 1…

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No one is paying for anything at our wedding. I mean, it’s your wedding. Unless someone offers the help I wouldn’t ask…

Terrible parents :cry:they act like it’s thousands of dollars. So sorry :cry: I wouldn’t invite them​:woman_shrugging:t2:tell them keep your gift because that is awful :disappointed:

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If you’re having issues because of a 60$ cake, maybe you shouldn’t be spending your money on a wedding. Go to city hall instead.

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How many people are you inviting? Get a little cake (or bake one yourself from a mix) and a topper, or use fresh roses from the grocery store on top for the cake cutting. Then get a Costco sheet cake cut in the kitchen for your guests.

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pay for your own damn cake… can’t afford the extra $60 I suggest you reevaluate marriage

I didn’t even have a cake. :woman_shrugging: