Is asking for help paying for a wedding cake a big deal?

I made my own cake and cupcakes. Im keto so i made a keto wedding cake and regular cupcakes for every1 else.

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You’re paying for everything except you want them to pay for the cake? Why? Just buy your own cake and save yourselves the headache of their opinions.

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You’re second guessing a MARRIAGE because of a $60 cake?

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If you are older than 18, why would you ask someone to pay something for you?? Make your own money, pay for your own things, be your own person!

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Call me old school but the brides parents in my opinion should pay for 80% of the wedding.

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If you have to ask people for $30 you should not be having a wedding smh

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Talk about first world problems :roll_eyes:

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This can’t be real!!!

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Have a friend make your cake instead🤷‍♀️. It’s a lot Cheaper that way and could be considered as a gift from them

I’m sorry but its your wedding. No one else’s. You want a cake, buy your cake. This crap about families having to pay is ridiculous IMO.

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If you saw yourself without eating or in a hospital bed and still denied help, I would say that they are horrible but a wedding or the cake, they are things of first necessity, the parties are held when they can, otherwise, with the signature is enough.

Make the cake yourself !!!

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Ask them to make that your gift/s from them?

Not worth the argument over $60.

Just elope. Lol. Then you don’t have to worry with any of it.

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I’m kind of confused as to why you think it’s expected of parents to pay for YOUR wedding. Even if it’s just cake. I understand wanting a fun time and a good party but I wouldn’t try plan something expecting someone else to pay for anything. Just pay for what you can afford, then if they contribute after the fact you have it to put back towards what you paid for. I’m not really a good judge though, we did city hall and eloped with Chinese food for dinner and a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts as our “wedding cake” and spent MAYBE $250 beetween the license, officiant, dinner/donuts and my dress. Really awesome memories. Best of luck to you :heart:

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Sorry your wedding you should pay. If people WANT to help that’s great but I think it’s tacky to ask or expect things if others.

In the end it’s 60 dollars if you can’t afford or budget for it you probably shouldn’t be doing another ceremony.

I know this sounds harsh…

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Go buy one urself or make one

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I have to ask how old are you? At a certain age, you just have to learn to pay for things yourself. Everyone has bills. If you have already been living together, the obligations to help out with the wedding are out the window.

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I paid for all of my wedding as my parents had spent money on building a small house at the back of their house to retire in and I didn’t think anything about it. In my day you did not feed you friends and family a meal to come to your wedding. I had a beautiful cake . punch and mints a nuts. I don’t know when this thing of having to feed people to come to your wedding became the thing to do.

Don’t need a cake go to court house and it’s done in God’s eyes you’ve already been married for 6 years

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Parents have no obligation to pay for anything after you’re of age. They may give a gift but you shouldn’t expect it

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I’m confused so you have already had a big commitment ceremony everyone came to 3 years ago and now you have decided your ready to be married so your having a wedding and your upset they won’t pay for your cake. My husband and I had been together 10 years when we got married and we paid for everything. We didn’t ask one person to pay for anything except my maid of honor bought her own dress and my brother in law his own outfit. I mean not to be rude but either make a cake yourselves or elope.

Pay your own wedding and cake. 🤦

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Seriously? If you cant afford 100% of the wedding by yourself then you cant afford to get married :woman_shrugging: Its nobody’s job to pay for anything for you.

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The person I was going to pay to make my cake backed out so I made my own wedding cake! And it turned out fantastic! :grin: And we certainly wouldn’t ask or expect anyone to pay for anything that had to do with our wedding. That’s how it should be in my opinion.

When you had your commitment ceremony did you receive ģifts ?
If you did then buy your own cake
If you didn’t ask them to gift you a cake.
I honestly don’t think its that important tbh…its a cake and not worth fighting over.

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Budget 20$ a month for 3 months for the cake. You have time and that is a doable amount. I wouldn’t even ask someone to pay for my wedding cake. If you cannot pay for the cake yourself then you should consider less expensive options that you can afford :upside_down_face:

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That is cheap and awful of them.Walmart has beautiful tier cakes and they taste good. If I was you I would just do a destination wedding

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Do like that lady does in these videos go get sheet cakes from the store scrape off the icing cut the cake into tiers re ice the cake and BOOM! Wedding cake nobody will know it came from the deli Turning a $20 Grocery Store Cake into a $500 Wedding Cake! - YouTube

If a simple wedding cake or getting the money for said cake is causing doubt about the marriage then you are ill prepared to face the tremendous difficulty of being married. If you have lived together for 6 years and already had a commitment ceremony why bother getting legally married? It sounds as if you both are ill prepared for a wedding ceremony let alone marriage. You should never ask anyone for frivolous non essential items. Your parents owe you nothing and you need to correct the perception that they do. You should have already been saving for this wedding. Cake included. If it were for medication or health bills that would be acceptable to ask about but do not expect.

Your wedding…then you pay…exspecially after already having a commitment ceremony. If you cant afford a cake then bake it yourself or have a friend do it.

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$60 isn’t worth the argument.

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If feel like its your wedding you planned so you pay . If someone offers to help pay then that’s diffrent. I don’t think someone else should have to take any kind of financial burden because you decided to get married. And i know there’s families that actually help when their kids get married but I guess not all families are the same. I would try to find a way to budget the cake in good luck

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Don’t invite them to the wedding simple

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If you want a tiered cake get styrofoam pieces to stack and cover with frosting or fondant. Use fresh or artificial flowers to decorate. Or ask one or more friends who bake to make a cake for you as their wedding present.

BTW your parents sound like a-holes if they can’t cough up $30 each. Though what kind of presents are they planning to get you? If it’s expensive stuff I get it, or are they handling a lot of chores/arrangements for you?

You’ve probably already made the rest of your arrangements already, but ways to save money: use paper plates and plastic utensils for the reception. Pick your colors. Do you have a caterer? Get a DJ instead of a band. Get a dress at a thrift store and rings at a pawn shop or simple gold bands. Decorate the tables with sheets of tissue paper angled on top of white tablecloths and put 3 votive candles on each, or use helium balloons tied to weights instead of flowers. Oriental Trading Co. has large quantities of stuff (like votives & votive candles) for cheap.

For a summer party I made tuna salad, chicken salad and 3 bean salad and set out a variety of breads for sandwiches, fruit and vegetable platters from the grocery store, and cookies.

Or you can just serve snacks and cake if the time is between meals. Skip the alcohol and serve water, iced tea & lemonade.

Get those giant aluminum pans & serve sliced ham, mac and cheese and green beans, maybe tubs of KFC (put in chafing dishes) and maybe applesauce or tossed salad. Have cheese and crackers, cut up polish sausage and grapes for appetizers.

Few people remember the details of the arrangements, just the fun vibe and the happiness and loveliness of the couple.

My daughter had a small wedding and later held a barbecue in a park for friends and family.

BTW, congratulations! I hope you both get the day of your dreams and work hard together to have a long & happy marriage.

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My husband and I payed for our whole wedding ourselves including my dress and accessories. We didn’t ask for a dime from either of our parents. We decided to have the type of wedding day we wanted and we paid for it. Our engagement was for about a year and half so we knew we could afford it.

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No one should be obligated or contribute anything to your wedding except their existence and maybe a wedding gift

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Gender reveal then baby shower situation :joy::woozy_face:

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Honestly, you should just pay for it.
However, they sound like horrible, cheap people.

Moms CRYING? That sounds like there’s a lot more issues to unpack than buying a cake. Have they gaslit you your whole life???

Don’t invite them if it’s that much of a problem for them. They should be happy for you, not complaining about having to buy a gift.

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People acting like asking for help to buy a wedding cake is a big deal, you can’t afford it all so you shouldn’t get married? Wtf is wrong with you sour ass people?! :roll_eyes: there is nothing wrong with asking for help from your parents. However expecting something from them just because you asked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to the help. If you can’t afford one, make one. It’s a lot cheaper.

If you can’t afford your wedding cake yourself maybe you should cut back on something else. You’ve already had a commitment ceremony so technically this is just a legal formality

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Just pay for the cake yourselves.

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You shouldn’t expect your parents to pay for any part of your wedding. If they don’t want to/can’t pay for whatever reason, it’s up to you to take care of it. It’s your wedding, not theirs.

Noone has to do anything. Don’t expect it. If they say no. Fine. The end. Pay for it urself.

I wouldnt sweat it to much if it’s only $60, that being said your parents can’t HELP with $30 is just plain sad.

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I would just make my own personally and seriously consider not inviting them if that’s how petty they wanna be over 30$

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My husband and I were just married last Friday, paid for everything. My friends mom made us a cake for free (it’s her hobby) but I did pay for our cousin to make cupcakes (which is her side job)
Our parents paid for nothing nor did we ask or expect them to.
Really what’s $60… don’t make a fuss over it.
Shitty that they are making a big deal of it but just leave it be. Not worth the fight or waisted time and emotions.

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why not just make the cake or make cupcakes yourself for the wedding that would run you about 20 , dollars over all

Sam’s wedding cakes $69.00! Delicious!

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Don’t invite them lol

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If they help great, if they show up great, but the wedding is not about them. Carry on and focus on one another.

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I wouldn’t say they are obligated, but as a mom, I would WANT to help my child. Even if that meant helping with getting stuff made or decorating. Regardless of a 2nd ceremony or not, it’s still your big day. That’s just my perspective.

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After spending hundreds, how is $30 a piece really gonna help. And I’m surprised the parents can’t or won’t help.

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30 is nothing! I had quinceñeras ask for 100 to 50

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Soo u r rethinking about marriage over a CAKE???:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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You are aldult do not ask if they do not offer quit asking like a child

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Something tells me you’re asking for more than $30

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I wouldn’t invite them period . We paid for everything on my daughters wedding . Mother in law and father in law helped pay for stuff as well . They put in about 4000 and us about six . As parents no matter what the ago should always have our kids back $30 isn’t gonna kill them .

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$30 isn’t anything , but what i would do is invite them obviously but don’t ask for help. If they aren’t supportive then move on I know it’s your mother but it’s your day less stress the better. Just a basic white cake from sams , target , hannaford , price shopper and have them write congrats or something simple

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Do not cause problems within your families over something so petty. You are adults if you want something just go ahead and pay for it yourselves

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It’s not your parents job to pay for this stuff. I think it’s tacky you even asked. If you want a cake buy it yourself. You are both adults.

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Just go to the court house, dont invite anyone, save the money and have a honeymoon

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Damn you people are brutal :joy::joy:

I just sol day. Wedding business of 40 years and you can have a wedding on very little.

Umm I’d never ask someone to pay for my wedding. If they want to help that’s appreciated but don’t ask. & it’s your wedding not theirs. No one has to pay for anything besides you & groom

This is what I’m doing to save money im spending all my money on dress location and cake and photographer… I honestly don’t care if anyone comes I just want the memories and the photos :relieved: I feel like thats the only thing gonna last anyway… why should you buy a cake big enough for all those people who don’t care to help or feed then or anything. Get a cute small cake for the photo. invite them give then a seat to watch from and done

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Have a small cake topper made just for the two of you and cupcakes for everyone else

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You’ve already have a ceremony. You’ve been together 6 years. If you can’t afford $60 for the cake you want, then consider options more in your budget. And I’m not judging, I’ve been in the position before where I couldn’t have paid $60 for a cake. But you’re grown. Have a ceremony for the second time. It’s no one’s responsibility to pay for your wedding.

Personally I don’t think a second ceremony is necessary. I don’t even think one is necessary :woman_shrugging:t2::joy:but definitely not a second. And especially if you can’t afford a cake.

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Go to Vegas and have fun trip

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The fact your rethinking your wedding over a cake is a red flag. I mean if it really Came Down to it you could make a cake yourself. There must be more to this because the whole situation seems petty from the short version you gave up.

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Crying family over a gift and a 60.00 cake WTF

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Well usually someone (the parents , sisters, aunt etc) usually help plan it and even in most invitations it includes the person helping… but you can’t expect them to help and if they don’t want too. My mom and aunt planned my sister’s wedding and everyone helped and pitched in but my family is really close and others aren’t as close. So don’t expect them to help. And if they don’t wanna help then don’t include them and make it a huge deal ya know ? Usually the bride and groom gives a speech or whatever so just don’t include anyone who doesn’t wanna help… Or use the money and go get married in Vegas just you two (and your kids if you guys have kids) cus at the end of the day that’s who’s wedding it is. You and him. So do what is best for you and him. Good luck and congrats!:bouquet::tada:

They’re not obligated to pay for anything for something YOU want to do

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You just have to compare prices, and do a fuel things yourself.

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Times are hard and maybe both parents are on a fix income … you have time you did the first by yourself so do this by yourself . You never know what people are going thru especially older people…

My parents bought my cake and paid $350 but this is only because they did this for my sister.

Just go elope !!! Buy a cake and eat it alone lol

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Me and my husband had a small thing got married with justice of piece and bought a cake at Hanna-fords why is everyone making a big deal over fancy weddings!! To much stress just buy your cake and that’s that parents don’t need to do anything if they don’t want to

What happened to the tradition of the bride’s family at least helping pay for the wedding? And although I think it’s sad that they won’t help their own children, if $30 is too much for them and y’all, maybe ALL parties should consider money management classes.

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If you are planning calling it off over a damn cake, you really need to rethink a lot of things.

They aren’t obligated to and maybe they can’t afford it now. Have a wedding you can afford. It’s not the price that makes it special

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My husband and I had a small backyard wedding, super simple and cute. Got my wedding dress from a lady who ended up not wanting to get married lol my husbands grandma made our cakes, byob and w bbqed

Your parents are not obligated to pay anything. It’s your day so pay for your own expenses.

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:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy: just use that money for a honeymoon

why not save the money and make your own

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I told my daughter if she decided to live with her boyfriend before marriage, we would not pay for a wedding.

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My mom made cupcakes for my wedding. Just boxed ones. They were super good

Maybe find a cheaper cake or a smaller cake just for you two to cut and make cupcakes for everyone else.

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You want the wedding you pay for it mum and dad have no obligation to pay for any part of your wedding

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Just make a cute cake for the two of you then.

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Why can’t they be their gift to help with the cake.

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My hubs and I paid 100% of our wedding. We wee adults and had established our lives already.

Do it don’t ask any of them 4 anything! Let them stay home! Do you really wait Haters there!!:blush::wink::heart: Congratulations to the Both of You :blush::heart::heart::heart:

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Just elope and go to a Justice of the Peace, no one is obligated to pay for your wedding.

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You have got to be joking, are you for real? Doesn’t the ceremony in Vegas include a small cake? Most supermarkets have a good bakery

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It’s your wedding… you have to pay for your own things. parents are not supposed to pay for anything, they are not obligated.

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Go buy some cupcakes from Walmart for 20 dollars, good lord.

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If Either of kids asked me to pitch in $30 to help pay for their wedding cake and were met with this by the family I would probably give them a $100.
Tell them to get whatever cake they loved and if they needed anymore help to let me know. My mom a simgel mother of 4 paid 5 grand by herself for my entire wedding and reception.
Even in hard times you can’t get $30 for your own childs wedding?? Wtf

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Just have a cake made at a grocery store🤷 why have an expensive cake if you can’t afford it? IMO grocery stores make some darn good cakes and they are more affordable.

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