Hello again mamas!. So much great advice from one of my other posts so here it goes again!. Me and my husband have a 3 year old and are trying for number two!.. he is working shift work 14 days home and 14 away.any advice from other parents who work away?. I feel like I have my one under control but so scared about managing two alone at some points!? My first is a great sleeper. 7-7 most nights.did your second wake up your first a lot?. Was it hard to get them on the same schedule? Was it hard being up all night with a new born and having a child that does not nap?. Any advice appreciated. Thanks!
My 2nd screamed nonstop for the first 6 months
I manage 5 with my hubby gone but 3 hrs a day. Some days he just goes straight to his other job. It’s not easy. But possible.
Schedules and routines. Once little one arrives get older one involved getting diaper,wipes and such as that gives older one a personal investment in the new baby and lets them feel helpful (cuts down on the resentment).
Once my older 2 stopped napping, we still had a “quiet time” for about an hour each day right after lunch. They didn’t have to sleep, but they had to stay in their room and play quietly so that they didn’t disturb their sibling if they were napping. If they fell asleep I left them until they woke up. That will at least give you a little breather from your older one during the day and then they’re sleeping all night so that’s a bonus.
You’ll want to use a sound machine while either child is sleeping. It’s a life saver to cover up the awake child’s noises. In general, schedules will be your friend. I had my teens a year apart and my Husband worked 18 hour days at one point.
Now, I have a small home daycare (4 children, ages 3, 2.5, 2, 14 months plus my own 14 month old and my teens are homeschooled.) Schedules, routines and sound machines are my sanity!!
Keep your standards low until baby is on a more predictable routine and grocery pickup is your best friend!!
I have a 2.5 and 5 month old. It’s possible, my 2 yr old is going through w the terrible twos so we have a lot of moments, I’m sure baby has something to do with it so we try to focus a lot of energy w him so he doesn’t get frustrated and turn around and smack the baby. The beginning is the toughest I did a lot of cluster feeding w her, but it gets easier! I work full time and take care of kids when I’m off and weekends. My husband helps but he has log hours so mainly me. You’ll be ok
Personally we aged ours 4 years apart so the older one would be at school when I had a newborn. This allowed for more time with the new baby and time to catch up on naps during the day if I was up a lot at night.
My husband works away for like 200 days of the year. I have a two year old and a four month old. It’s doable- just get yourself on a routine.
My second came out screaming and hasn’t stopped since, he’s almost 3. Lol…He also doesn’t sleep through the night most nights. My first was a rockstar sleeper. Every kid is different, but no matter how different they are, you’ll figure it out. Momma’s always do.
My husband works 24hr shift many times a week…we have 5 kids who are five and under. You figure it out. Some days will be easy and others will be terrible, but babies are so worth it
My husband does 4 on 4 off. I have a now 20 month old and a 6 month old. My first… champion sleeper. My son. Haha not so much. I started sleep training getting him on a schedule for night time. The same as my daughter. 7-7 basically. He was doing well and even started to sleep through the night. Then he went through a spell where he was up literally every 30 min not falling asleep till sometimes 3 am then back at it at 7 am for almost 2 months! I was exhausted. My daughter takes one nap a day for about 1.5 to 2 hours. My son either will nap for 20 min or not at all. It’s hard with naps because my daughter is young and she’s not all the quiet. Haha she is getting better. For example today, my son took a 30 min nap. In his crib, my daughter napped and when she woke up he was getting tired but fighting it. He finally fell asleep at 3:45 and is still sleeping but it’s not in his crib. It’s in his swing. (My husband puts him there for naps which I’m trying to break) my son now at night sleeps 7 to about 10. Wakes to feed then sleeps till about 7 and if later than 730 I wake him up to keep him on a schedule.
Your 3 year old is older and can be for self sufficient which would be so helpful! I suggest letting your 3 year old “help” with whatever to make them feel included. Wipes, getting diapers, you name it. My daughter was only 14.5 months when my son was born so her “helping” was non helpful. Haha we tried. Now that she is older her helping is better and I let help with whatever to a certain extent and she likes it. Whether it’s helping burp my son or putting their dirty clothes in the laundry hamper.
It’s going to be rough at times… but it will be so much fun! The one frustrating thing for me is I get a system down that works but sometimes my husband when he’s home kind of does his own thing like the swing for naps. It drives me NUTS! It does make it hard sometimes when he goes back to work. This has been a discussion for like the last 4 months off and on. You’ll have to find things that work for you. Get yourself a routine. It helps you and my daughter Basically knows what’s going to happen. There are also so many things to do as well outside of the house for your kids at the library and rec centers which I love it keeps my daughter busy and she loves it. She looks forward to those days. I just found out about a gymnastics place that has a hour of playtime with toddler friendly trampoline and other things like that. By the time you have another your 3 year old may be in preschool if that’s a rout you take. When you see the two of them together it will make your heart melt. You’ll have good and bad days… Enjoy every minute because it seems like they grow up even faster after the second.
I’ve always said that one is easy, two or more is hard. It’s so worth it though.