It’s not okay to show favorites. It’ll take a big toll on him, if it hasn’t already. There’s no reason they can’t buy him one thing when she gets handfuls. I would tell them they either need to buy them both things or none at all
I wouldn’t have it. BIG NOPE. Everyone would know how I feel.
You need to stand up for your son.
The favoritism stops or the relationship with all stops.
I don’t do favorites. I don’t buy anything for one kid and not the other. It’s cruel and unfair and I wouldn’t put up with it.
Do you live with them? Cause regardless it isn’t any of their business. My 4 year old daughter has cancer and no one picks favorites with the grandkids step or not.
I would say something for sure. I’m sure your son can see the difference of how they’re being treated & you need to speak up for him. And also it isn’t their place to tell you how to parent your child.
Can’t buy for both don’t bring it to my home
Nope can’t do for all not doing for one. Refuse what they give her and inform them that if they do bring only something for both then what they bring will be donated to good will. You have an obligation to protect your children.
I wouldn’t accept the gifts unless it was for all of my kids. I have 2 amazing bonus kids and I refuse to take anything for one of my kids if it’s not for all 3. If they can’t get stuff for the other child blood related or not they shouldn’t be getting the other child anything 
the only way this problem will be fixed is if you put your foot down and tell them to be fair or stop buying one child gifts
Make a rule. Give both or dont give either one something
Family or not… Sometimes it’s best to cut the ties.
Your husband needs to step up & say something. That’s so messed up.
That is not ok!! Shame on them for doing this you and your son. I would put them straight! If you can’t buy for both of them then don’t bother!! Prayers for you and your son:pray:
Your husband needs to speak up.
We have a rule- if you buy for one, you buy for both. Unless it’s a birthday. Any other time, if there’s not something for both, it’s not allowed.
I always say, don’t do for one If you’re not gonna do for the other! Always treat them equally because kids notice and have feelings!
Unfortunately my family is the same way my oldest son and my daughter are their favorites and my middle child (our second son) is treated like he doesn’t exist. I’ve brought it up to them and they say it’s because they don’t know him like they do our oldest and they treat our daughter the same way because she’s the only girl and their princess. I finally had to cut them out of my life not just for how they treated my kid/kids but how they treated me for 90% of my life ND how they treat my husband and our marriage… I’m sorry you are going through this…
My feelings as a mom would be so hurt if my husbands family didn’t buy for my son who isn’t biologically my husband’s I can’t imagine how you feel. Your husband should really say something I know mine would never let that fly cuz he treats our son like his own and had since we came into his life and so has my husband’s parents. It is just so sad that your in-laws don’t see your son as their own. Kinda makes them seem like shitty people I think. With that being said I would tell them if they can’t treat them equally they can screw off!!!
I’d so be keeping them away from my kids. Matter of fact…I did end up doing it. That’s horrible.
Tell them if u can’t buy for my son I will not except gifts for my daughter that’s what you should say
Your husband really needs to step up and be a real man.
Your poor son how must he feel seeing that 
either u or your husband need to have a chat with them and say they either buy both or none at all
Your poor son 
protect your kid!!! That’s such a messed up thing to allow someone to do to your child. You are his voice. Please stand up for him.
Do you live in the same house as your in-laws? If not, tell them that they can go to hell. You don’t have to allow them access to EITHER of the kids if they want to be a**holes. I would also let them know that if they can’t get something for BOTH kids then nobody is getting anything. 
Time to be a “mama bear” and protect your children. They are causing emotional problems for him and teaching her that shes better than others. Both very destructive messages. You and your SO need to set limits with his family and cut them off if they don’t respect those boundaries. It will be hard, but so is seeing your son being treated like he’s “less than”.
Your husband needs to say something or you do. If they can’t buy for both then they can’t gift just one and don’t back down. My heart hurts for you son and the way he must feel.
I’m sorry, I know how heart breaking that must be. 
Can you maybe not accept gifts unless they got them both something or unless it’s something for them to share? I would tell them that’s the only way you can accept gifts now.
Healing prayers and love for your son. Sending him much strength to be a cancer ssurvivor.
I’d go mad. I’d take the presents they buy for my daughter and give it straight back. Yes it may upset your daughter but she’ll learn from it just like they will, and while giving it back use their own words “your not allowed favourites, you can’t buy for her and not him except at birthdays, and this isn’t something they can share” if they don’t like it and refuse to take it back I’d chuck it in the bin and tell them to get out and not come back! If my partner didn’t like it I’d tell him it’s his children or his family and if he doesn’t like it to get out because I know who I’m choosing.
And as a parent you can treat 1 child alone every now and then. You swap between which one so they all get special treats at different times. It’s not favouritism it’s give them special me treats just about them occasionally.
And then there’s cancer I don’t know what type of cancer he has or whether it’s terminal or not but from what I know about cancer there’s not always a next year, so my poorly child would be getting extra love and attention in hope it helps him get to next year, and my healthy child would have this explained and would understand that its not favoritism, or loving anyone more, its simply he needs me more and I’m making the most of what time we might have together.
They have no right to tell you or your husband how to raise either child. What’s the ages of these kids? It’s a lot easier to buy things for young children than tweens & teens. Plus buying for girls is more fun! I thought at first that could be what is happening but it sounds like from your point of view they just don’t like him. It could be his ADHD. They just don’t know how to handle him?
You’re in a rough spot though. If you cut off contact with your husband’s parents your daughter will resent her brother as the cause. If you decline gifts for her she will resent her brother.
You have to make a choice. Stand up for your son or living knowing he has all these ailments and will stay treated this way. Stand up to your husband let him know he needs to also…and if he won’t then you have a choice to make
Please send me a private message I would like to talk to you .
Be your son’s voice. Tell them they can’t do for your daughter unless they are treating your son the same. Anytime i am out shopping with my mom and get something for one of my kids no matter how small the thing is she always says i need to get the same for all of them.
That’s disgusting, they are grown adults and they should realise they cnt just buy for one kid, that poor lad will be so upset inside 
, maybe when they have brought your daughter loads, you should say to your son ooo let’s go out and have a treat, f*ck what anyone says how you treat your children mam, they are your children tell them straight your are spoiling your son as some inconsiderate a**holes have left him out and hes upset.
This isn’t write fix it or he will hate him when he’s older.
Obviously not 
your in-laws are f:poop:cked and you need to start speaking up because if you don’t defend your son, who’s going to? I’d also force my daughter to go No Contact with dad’s side until they can treat BOTH kids equal because, at the end of the day, your son is also your husband’s son too.
One of the reasons i cut my mil off. Hasnt seen my kids in over a year now.
He may not be your husband’s blood son but this is F’ED up to the max. I’d def bring it up next time it happens.Don’t bring it up unless it happens because then they’ll try to gaslight you. Do it when it happens so you can call their asses out on it.
That’s just plain foul.open your mouth and stand up for your child.
No way! they either buy for both or not at all!! Your poor son also has cancer and scoliosis! zing no way honestly I’d loose it
No idea how u have kept quite… I would Of lost my shit by Now. I wouldn’t have it. I Have 3 Kids And I dont do favorites I don’t Buy anything for one child And not the other two…
Your husband’s family is toxic. I don’t know that I would accept any gifts from them. To be so obviously partial to one child over the other is beyond horrible. Also they have some nerve trying to tell you that your son must share with his sister. It is none of their business.
HEAR ME OUT!! I would go through your entire house & collect ABSOLUTELY every single piece of item that they have bought your daughter i would gather them all into bin bags and drop all that crap right back on their doorstep!! NO WAY in hell would any of my kids be a part of their lives chosen ones or not… that will cause issues between your kids as siblings while they are growing it will cause rifts in their bond through jealousy etc. And I would be taking a major step back… poor wee boy. Nah I would be out and so would my daughter
That’s disgusting they should treat him the same .you tell them to back off if can’t treat your little boy with respect
Okay this is not okay! Why is this even a question. That’s your baby! You should be offended and should tell them if they can’t have the decency to bring him something than she can’t have it either. How do you think he feels about it?
This is so wrong. I know how it feels to be left out as a kid it’s cruel inhumane treatment. I’d be cutting them off completely and explaining to both children why.
If they can’t treat BOTH equally then neither get anything. As hard as it maybe but fo not accept anything from them unless they have the same for your son. And make it perfectly clear to them. They do it because you have allowed it for so long and get your husband to do the same. Otherwise your daughter will grow up being spoilt and your son will become resentful towards everyone. Do no let this carry on.
Not right. Not even a little bit. And NOT an environment I’d want either of my children in. You have a lot of thinking to do. Take your feelings out of it and think only of those children. This is toxic for both of them. Good luck I hope for their sake you make the right call
Maybe because of your son’s medical situation they feel like alot of attention from your household is focused primarily on him. Maybe they give more to your daughter to try and makeup for the attention they feel she is not receiving. Maybe your daughter has expressed those feelings to them and they are just trying to be her support system since I am sure alot of your energy is towards your son.And, just Maybe, they feel like it is harder to connect with him than her since you may be more protective of him. I don’t think your daughter should be punished by having them removed from her life.The grandparents may be going about the situation a little wrong, but you should give them the benefit of doubt.
Tell them they can no longer buy anything for you’re daughter if they can’t do the same to you’re son. What you buy for one you buy for all
I kindly decline all things bought for your daughter! An tell them Both your children are treated equally or not treated at all. 
. Dont even argue with them. Just say that an leave it be. They will soon get the picture.
I’m sorry but if you or your husband are allowing for your other child to be treated this way then you are also to blame. This is not ok. And you both should be putting your foot down. Your poor son has no one in his corner 🥲
Speak up both children should be kept the same if they can’t buy for both then they shouldn’t buy for either these things impact on kids
How can they even feel comfortable doing that to the other child.
I took on my nephew when my sister was unwell my husbands family told them to call them aunties and their dad grandad never excluded him always got him something for his bday and Xmas, that family sucks, I’m so sorry that this is happining they really are a bad olde crowd
And I’d be telling them to fuck off, at the end of the day that’s your child stand up for him so what if they’re your husband’s family your son came first… They are toxic af
They are TOXIC!!! Im so sorry
Say something dont allow that stand up for your kids
I would definitely address it first with your husband and second with his family. To be clear, i mean THEM showing favoritism, leaving him out (seemingly intentionally) and butting in about how you discipline your children. It isn’t their place to tell you how to raise either of your children. Even if your parenting styles differ. It is you and your husband’s job to parent and discipline your children at your discretion. Sorry you’re having to deal with this mama. It all seems pretty 
Oh hell no! I dont care if your Family! I RAISE the kids & not you. And if you dont treat my kids the same Then you wont be allowed in our lifes!
I would tell them either start treating him the same as they do her or get lost! That’s messed up
Grandchildren are grandchildren whether biological, step, or adopted and should all be treated the same. PERIOD! I have biological grandchildren that have siblings not related to our family that spends time with our family and would never think of buying one and not the other.
Hell no, if they can’t do for both then they wouldn’t be doing for any. Why hasn’t your husband put his family in their place? That is so terrible and ridiculous 
I been there. Dealt with that. I had three kids previous and one on the way. Nothing for my kids but the one on the way was gifts overload. Actually my ex’s mom and I had a big disagreement at my baby shower thats her first grandchild, she told my children that they cant open the gifts that I received. I blew a gasket! My children at that time was 6,8 and 9! The day I had my son, I asked for no one to be around besides my mother as I was having a c section and I was technically not married so therefore if anything happened she was there. We got back to the room, his mom was there, fed him his first bottle and only spent 30 mins then left and didn’t see him for months afterwards. she lived 15 mins away. But remember she’s grandma of the year. He’s an ex for a reason.
You need to grow a backbone and tell them they don’t get a say. And if they can’t keep it equal, then presents for just one kid won’t be accepted.
Get a back bone tell them it’s both kids or none I have one very Ill and this ain’t fair to him she’s his sister she’s will not be favored anymore equal or you don’t see them for a few.
Set boundaries momma my prayers are with you 
I’ve had a few try and play faves with my son cause we found out last month he’s got muscular dystrophy I stopped that real quick I knew the hurt with the other kids seeing it.
If there was clear favouritism I would refuse all gifts, and explain why to them.
They would not have anything to do with my daughter …if they can’t treat your son the same way …shame on them
so tell them they treat your son unfairly and you can raise him how you want. why are you letting other people tell you how to treat your kids
I would be handing back the gifts for the daughter n saying there is two kids in this house not one so if u cant buy for the two she can not have it simple as u dont like it when i try to make up for what use are doing to my son
You can draw a hard line. One gift for the daughter, that’s it. And as to how you raise your children, not their business. Tell them to butt out.
Unfortunately they don’t see him at their grandchild… because technically by blood he is not. I wouldn’t be allowing them around either child… and when they buy your daughter a gift… id give it right back.
Do not allow “them” to bring any gift into the house. Not unless both children get a gift of the same value. I’m raising a friend’s granddaughter and my family has always included her.
You are your sons voice. Tell that “family” what they are doing tell them you see it. Also tell them if they cant do for both don’t do at all. That is toxic behavior & you should have a talk with your husband about his shit of a family. Tell him to speak up for you and your son or he is part of the problem as well. What you keep allowing now will only get worse if you don’t call them out or cut them off.
Not addressing this would be allowing your son to be bullied And excluded. They are being extremely unfair and should be ashamed of themselves for leaving your son out. I would address it with them and see if anything changes. If it does not, I would start creating distance. I wouldn’t allow any more gifts to be given if there isn’t a gift for both children. They are being very unfair and in my opinion cruel. If they don’t change things after you make your feelings clear, slowly create space. Stop going to their events, stop engaging with them. They need to respect your entire family and your boundaries, before your son starts to question is own worth. He will begin to compare himself to his sister and wonder why he isn’t good enough to deserve the things she gets. It could really mess with his self esteem and sense of security. You are right to question the things they are doing and to set guidelines and be a voice for your son!
First don’t ever spank your kids just because someone else feels like it, second if their wants to be part of your family environment don’t allow them to tell you how to discipline your children .
Wow!!! Thats prob the saddest thing iv read on here 
they would be cut out without question if it was under my roof!
You’re husband needs to speak up
That’s a no from me. Don’t be afraid to cut off family for this. It is not ok for you and especially not for your son. Say something to them and If it continues, they need to go
They can fuck right off !!!bye bye
That is not ok…. ://
It’s your husband that needs to step up and say something…if he doesn’t you have to .
This is one of the saddest things I have read.
Your kids ! Not their kids ! In your household is about treating each other equally ! And the same equally attention ! You do not need to tolerate that nonsense the world is already cruel and it’s time to make some changes put your foot down and get some ground . Don’t wait for the husband to say anything, it’s up to you to stand up for your kids and dont worry " what if they start not liking me " who gives a f if they don’t ! Your happiness doesn’t revolve around them ! That’s your family , your rules , your choices , your parenting ! And you get the say so.
I’d tell them both or not at all
NEVER okay for favoritism with kids.
I wouldn’t even go near them
We cut toxic people out of our lives family or not. Favoritism is not okay. You see how badly it upsets you and it’s going to do the same thing to your little boy as he grows older and sees it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. People suck. And your son deserves to be treated just like his sister. Good luck mama!
I don’t think I would allow the family to be apart of mine if they chose to favorite a child just because they are blood.
I don’t play “favorites” in my home. And I’m not going to let a child feel like they aren’t as good enough and not worthy of the same amount of love.
Goodbye. I wouldn’t allow them to see my children until they can learn to love both, and be there for both kids.
None of this is ok. Next time they buy your daughter something, call them out for not treating your son equally. Ask them where his gift is. If they say they don’t have anything for him, than don’t accept the gift they’ve given your daughter. They will get mad, but will eventually realize, that in order to spoil her, they must also acknowledge him. Him not technically their grandchild, does not give them license to treat him differently. When it comes to discipline, that is none of their business. They’re not happy because you’re NOT spanking? Most be people would be upset if you were spanking. Especially in his condition. What does your husband think of all of this? Is there a difference in how he treats the children? Make sure he gets on board with calling out his parents. They’re behavior won’t change until it’s addressed.
Refuse all gifts until they can gift equally. Tbh I’d cut them off completely for their attitude towards my son
That’s sad as hell… and I would cut all ties with that family. There are no favorites when u have multiple kids. Kids are kids they didnt ask to be here and everybody should get treated the same. 
if they cant love the whole family dont let them love none of them
Thats a big hell no for me
How is this ok??? I TOO HAVE DIVISUIM IN MY FAMILY WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS BUT ITS NOT WITH MY 2 BOYS IN TERMS OF FAVOURITES ITS THE FAMILY CHOOSING OTHERS AS FAVOURITE AND NOT THEIR OWN AND ITS HURTFUL LET ALONE THIS
We stopped talking to my in laws for this reason!
You pick up for your boy mama and get them away from this toxic family, distance yourself and set boundaries, don’t give the items to your daughter put them up and say she’ll get them at a more appropriate time
First of all the fact that you haven’t either lost your shit and told these ppl exactly what you think or just completely cut them out of your life amazes me. I would never allow anyone to treat my son like that, or to tell me how to parent my kids.
If they wont trwat both kids equally they need to stay the hell away in general. I wouldve said no to any gifts they gave my daughter and didnt give my son. Even teaching moment for the kids. This is why just cause they family doesnt mean they are good people.