You need a change of circumstance to modify custody. If you have been documenting everything and you can prove that he doesn’t have a stable living environment and can’t provide her basic things that she needs for her education you may have a good shot. Just saying “she doesn’t like going over there” isn’t going to fly. You can request that she speak to the judge and it’s up to the court if they allow it and that still doesn’t guarantee that you will get full custody. I went through all this with my son about 4 years ago.
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She can write a letter to the judge to explain her feelings get her to include what she would need to see from dad for her to feel differently, what work does dad need to do for her to want a relationship with him again, it will show the judge your not just trying to cut dad out of her life, also his being kicked out all the time, and not having internet for her to do school work, all show what the environment there must be like and I’m sure him and the wife fight or he wouldn’t be kicked out. Any messages you have when he’s kicked out etc, or if your daughter has ever text you while there with a concern about something like fighting or being left alone, etc. Print them off and include them when you file. And im pretty sure you want to file an order to vary parenting time, or an order to vary a parenting order depending what all you want to change.
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Yes. And be prepared to show his track record. Maybe ask if you could find someone to be her voice. A court appointed advocate for your daughter. So your voice isn’t apart of. The courts and your daughter can figure it out.
You really need to check with your state. If he’s non existent, I’d leave it be and carry on with your life and not worry about it. In FL, I’d get in trouble for not “encouraging “ my child to go to her dads etc. He could pick her up and take her to a park or dinner etc, no excuse for it but FL pushes 50/50 and if he’s in a vindictive spiteful mood, he might take you there and courts will go for it. Definitely talk to a lawyer though…
Yes, you can modify it because she is old enough. Go to a lawyer and say that your daughter wants to have her custody modified and changed to suit her.
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If the living environment is unstable then yes you can go back to court
She should be old enough to make a decision about this or at least speak to the judge about it. She should be heard since it is her time being wasted by her other parent
The Family Court is so far removed from reality. If it’s a female judge, she organises it so she can have one on one with the child. If it’s a male judge, he would save himself the trouble if he spoke to the child. The problem is, the judge cannot tell whether the child has been put up to what they’ve said or whether they have been truthful. Then you’ve got the judges who are colour prejudice and it takes on a whole new meaning. The judge is only concerned with compliance and the law, not how commonsense could resolve the problem. No family group conference, it’s about which solicitor can tell the best story to get the problem resolved. So if you can get through all that lot, without it taking months and years then you might just get some sense, respectfully. If you dont make another application to vary the order and your ex does it before you, then chances are, you will be back to square one. AND THEY SAY ITS ALL ABOUT THE CHILD/CHILDREN. Bloody ridiculous!
Florida doesn’t have an age. My niece is 16 and the judge still wouldn’t talk to her or take into account what she wanted.
She is definitely old enough to have an opinion now, the judge will listen if her father won’t !! and it’s her father’s responsibility to accept the consequences of his instability don’t you dare take that on. Well done on fighting for your girl an the bond you two have. 
Especially if that’s what you’re up against. 
you got this. 
Don’t let the child be used as a pawn. She will hate you both later.
she’s old enough to talk to the judge. have her write the judge a letter
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I think she is old enough that a judge would listen to her concerns and take what she wants seriously. You could probably get it changed to her being able to see her dad when and if she wants to. It shows when dad hasn’t put in any effort no wonder she doesn’t want to continue to be forced to go over there.
Honestly, she has every right to tell him whatever she wants and feels. Keep documents of everything, not having internet to provide the education she needs, him constantly being kicked out of the house, her not feeling comfortable being around him all of it. Get a lawyer and have her talk to them. They will have you leave the room to talk to her to prove it’s all her will. She has a right to voice her concerns. And to be listened to. He sounds like a controlling person that doesn’t want to have his child voice her concerns. And he isn’t protecting her or providing for her. He can’t do that the judge will see it. But some judges only do reasonable modifications unless the child is endangered. But they will listen to her and ask her what would make her feel more comfortable with being with dad.
I told my judge when I was 16 that my step mother was controlling how much time we spent with my dad. 1 hour a day and breakfast lunch dinner and dessert time once every other day. He tried to telling the judged that’s a reasonable amount to spend with him. I also told them that I was forced to “share” a room with my 14 year old bother. (The bedroom was weird) and told them if they didn’t fix it we were done going over there 3 months later the judge ruled in favor of us Kids making our own choices of going to his house. He even harrased my baby sister on her period. Also they tried to force use to dress sluty thongs from age 8 to 17 and to high heels everywhere and skin tight clothes.
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You can request to modify, but it will be the judges decision to provide what’s in the best interest of the child. Good luck
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file for modification. its free to do. you can talk to custody lawyers as well. some will make the defendant pay the lawyer fees
Absolutely go change it and he sounds like a headache 
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Personally I would find a lawyer that will talk to your daughter one on one without either of you in the room. Obviously give permission but make it so your daughter is saying the truth no one is coercing it. Most states say at 12/13 a child can decided so it maybe hard but just get a lawyer and give him everything you have communication wise between you and the father and the father and daughter. Shoot you could possibly even ask for a child service person to speak with the child to go over everything it would be within your rights and your child’s rights
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible I can get custody modified? - Mamas Uncut
Yes now that she’s older you can ask for a law guardian and they will talk to the child individually and they will take what she tells them into consideration for the agreement
He needs to realise kids grow up and they see the amount of effort people put into their lives. She expressed how she felt and thinks it’s you turning her against him, well he done that himself… file for full custody since he can’t even do the basics for her then he can prove himself to be the dad that she needs
Document everything.
If she’s not comfortable in giving a verbal statement, she can write a letter expressing feelings, why she doesn’t want to go etc.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible I can get custody modified? - Mamas Uncut
How old is she? If she’s over 12 a judge will absolutely take what SHE wants into consideration.
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My 9 yr old doesn’t want to go to his dad’s last couple weeks because in his words his girlfriend is mean to him and he isn’t comfortable going very big shocker cause he loves being with his dad so I said you don’t have to go we don’t have a visitation order only custody order
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May I suggest you simply involve her in extracurricular activities at school. It keeps her in touch with friends and making new ones. Then she is tied up — A Lot! It worked for me daughter. 6th thru 8 th grade in basketball then 10-12 in Drill team. Lots of practices and games. So fun Good luck
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Usually judges don’t like to change custody but it can be done. My friend is a family lawyer and one of the cases she won was where a judge changed custody.
It doesn’t justify the costs or time it takes to go after someone for contempt. Attorneys will not do it and I understand why.
It can backfire on you.
If you want to change the parenting plan, keep that as your focus and forget about filing for contempt. Filing for contempt can make you look petty in the grand scheme of things and you could lose the respect of the judge especially if you ultimately plan to change the parenting plan. It makes you look like you are posturing…not a good idea, especially when any and every parenting plan is done up in the best interest of the child, not your best interest or his.
Have your moment of being angry, then set your feelings aside so you can be objective.
Can you modify visitations in your parenting plan???
If he is not following the current parenting plan, what is changing it going to do???
You can always try, but it won’t be easy. You would have to prove he is an unfit parent. That is extremely difficult to do, and I can tell you right now that a Judge or Commissioner (they handle most of these disputes now) do not like their time being wasted with these all-too-common battles over kids.
Just because your ex doesn’t keep internet on in the house, or that your daughter hardly knows him doesn’t change the fact that he has rights to be in his daughter’s life.
You need to think long and hard about that before you decide to do anything. It can reflect poorly on you in court if you try to change the parenting plan because of petty or temporary circumstances. It also can hurt your daughter and she can grow to resent you, blame you for her lack of relationship with her dad.
I refuse to stand in between a parent and their child. I wouldn’t want that done to me, I will not do it to my ex or STBX. I encourage my kids to have relationships with their dads and don’t let bad blood get in the way, nor do I be petty. Sure, there have been awkward moments, but they are temporary.
It sounds to me like you both need to just come to an agreement of how the visits will go, where, etc. If he is struggling in his marriage right now, be understanding and empathetic instead of trying to withhold his daughter from him. Try to make other arrangements for visitation so your daughter is comfortable - as comfortable as she can be - and her dad can work on his relationship with her.
I wouldn’t be discouraging your daughter from visiting her dad because she doesn’t know him and is uncomfortable…how else will she get to know him, and he get to know her and find their comfort level? If he is no danger to her, then what is the problem?
There is just not enough information in this post that gives me the impression that there is any danger in her visiting her dad. Even if he has to get a hotel room, what is the issue???
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Definitely time to revisit the visitation schedule
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If both of you cannot get him to listen to reason then yes you need to seek legal advice.
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My mom to me to an attorney. I told him my what I wanted. The attorney sent my Dad a letter and he let me stay at Mom’s full time with our any visitation
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In California at age 13 your child can legally decide who he/she wants to live with.
He probably isn’t following up with time bevsuee he is stressed from marriage . BUT he should be an adult and tlak to you about that or you reach out and ask if having her more(you) would make it easier on him until things cool down . & maybe he doesn’t have money for internet ? Again soemthing he should explain and talk to you about . But I don’t see a need to modify unless he absolutely doesn’t agree with you and then never follows thru with the time now . She probably isn’t comfortable because all the drama going on at house . Again, something that can be talked about with him adult to adult . Talk to him first and see if y’all can come to an arrangement and go from there
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Yep…sure can…she can even write a letter to the judge herself
The Judge will Listen to your daughter’s reasons if she is over the age of 12… so check that out…
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My ex husband and I have verbal agreements when it comes to my daughter luckily we’ve been able to stay civil. When he was going through a separation and there was a lot of drama going on at his house and he himself was not emotionally well we decided that it was best she didn’t visit him for a while till he got himself together emotionally. She didn’t need to walk into all that or be part of all that . It is a good idea for her to be at home so he can gather himself and pull himself out of that situation my ex was the one that suggested it and i agreed. I think u need to explain this to him adult to adult and if he doesn’t agree with u then yes legal action it is.
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What you going to modify, if he not getting her now. What you going to ask for him not take her home? He only see her outside in a public place? He can only come to your house?
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My Daughter is now 21. I had the same issues when she was very young. We separated when she was 3 yrs old and her Father/Grandmother took me to court for visitation rights. They wanted full custody but that didn’t happen. The Father/Grandmother were not happy with what the court granted. They only granted them every second weekend beginning 9am on Saturday-6pm on Sunday and every Tuesday/Thursday from 4-7pm. It was that way for a while. Then they kept making excuses that they had plans and my daughter was too much for them. So it slowly got cut back to every second weekend and 1 day during the week. Then progressed to the weekend etc. It was to the point where my daughter didn’t wanna go as the Father/Grandmother were always picking and choosing when they wanted her. I worked around them even though I had court papers documenting the access. Till today she isn’t that involved with her Father but has a good relationship with her Grandparents. She does go out with them for lunch, suppers etc.
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Yes and have them talk to your child she’s old enough to have a say
Yes especially if you have proof of the failure to meet the original agreement.
Do you have an agent that you deal with for advice. You can certainly try.
When your child says they feel uncomfortable going anyway that’s always a red flag and parent or not, I would stop visits immediately.
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Yes I got a modified agreement as my daughter started school. No harm in trying and if you ask them to speak w your daughter and get her input that will help.
Pretty easy w proof. Go to court
dont think about it just do it…its you and your baby
Your the mother, from a fathers stand point in TN, you can get whatever you want whenever you want from the state. I don’t know your situation but from a caring father who wants more time with my child… tell the courts and you will get it. It’s a fight to even have rights to her even after going through custody and courts to get any type of time even with the mother’s consent. That’s why I say what I do, we are great with co parenting but the state still ties my hands
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Keep a record of everything including your daughter should keep one and go see a lawyer
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Talk to a lawyer… and by lawyer I don’t mean FB
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A judge will only consider what the child wants but do not turn her against him it could work against the child well being in the long run
If it’s something your daughter wants then I’d modify it. It seems like it already has been modify just not on paper… And for him it’s a bit childish of to act that way towards you.
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Definitely. After a certain age a child is given the right to not have to visit a parent they do t want to. Just know that this will b put in front of judge and child may have to attend court to explain y they don’t want visitation
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Absolutely. Go to a judge and request a modification. It should be fairly easy to prove based on your info that he hasn’t even utilized his visitation anyway
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U always need to let know when when he’s not following order and write EVERY SINGLE THING DOWN with dates. Try and communicate thru texts so you’ll have proof of the conversations.
So she doesn’t want to go bc the internet is off and that makes her feel uncomfortable. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. My mother is old school. Only 1 tv in the house, no video games, no DVD player, nothing to keep them entertained. They still want to go. They just don’t like staying for as long as they did when they were younger. They play cards, board games, walk around the block etc. They r 14 and 15. They have phones so they play on those too. Keeping her from her dad bc he has no internet is selfish. As long as he has a roof for her to stay under when she goes then who cares if he is kicked out of his wife’s house. When my son’s dad couldn’t keep a place to stay he said then I’ll come there a few nights to see my kids. I didn’t like it 1 bit, but it wasn’t about me. Kids don’t need internet, phones, ps4s, etc to be greatly cared for, and thats what’s wrong with today’s kids. Lastly, I was married in 2002. When I 1st met him I asked him what he remembered most about his dad. Mind u he had a 1967 Candy Apple Red Ford Mustang in ment condition sitting in a garage his dad had bought him for his birthday I think it was. He said I remember that everyday when he was a kid his dad set aside just 1 hour for just his dad and him. Rather that be going on a walk, out for ice cream, or just watching tv for that hour it was time just spent with him not him and his younger sister, just him. No grading papers (his dad was a teacher) no phone calls. Just spending time with just him. So see, kids don’t remember what u buy for them or give them. They remember time spent with them. They value that more then the money u spend on them. He shouldn’t be counted out bc he doesn’t keep something she don’t necessarily need. Pretty selfish on that.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible I can get custody modified? - Mamas Uncut
Why modify? Sounds like she’s not seeing him anyway and it’s not like he’s fighting for her. Just let it be for now and see what happens. No sense in creating unnecessary waves.
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Do whatbis best for your child. Stop if he is abusive via text then save them all as evidence. Take him back to court for her benefit not yours or his. Its all about what she wants. Not what he wants. Every time he has missed I hope you have noted dates and times. All evidence is essential to back things up.
you have to go back to family court.
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Go and try I am having the very same problem
Colleen Donaher Erin Donaher Ford
Just leave it, its her choice if she wants to see him or not, shes old enough to make up her mind
Yes definitely! And your daughter should be old enough to speak for herself and have her feelings heard. Keep it up momma! Fight. Don’t let him be there and he’s not even trying or listening to her.
I always ask my daughter if she feels comfortable going with her dad. But he’s also making an effort to be a dad!
What are you wanting for?
Have your child speak to a school counselor about the situation. Then it will be documented. Then the judge has no choice but to take info from that counselor into advisement when modifying visitation. It can be done. But make sure you are documenting everything. Keep a journal and have your daughter keep one as well. Good luck to you 
All you can lose at this point is money if you hire a lawyer. Worth a try
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Yes. Go back to court. It isn’t your or anyone else’s fault he can’t get his shit together.
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Yes you are right she be able to talk to both of you.and a judge would listen you have been more than fair with him .Time for him to be a adult and suck it up
His home sounds unstable so going to visit isn’t a good idea. Maybe he can just take her for the day and do something with her. But it all depends on what you can prove.
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Keep records of everything and everyday he has missed and the reason. At 13 your child can speak to a judge is you go the route.
Depends on where you live
I would believe you would be able to get it modified since most schools are virtual and most parents prefer it for their child now. If he can’t keep a steady source of internet, then there should be reason to keep her with you more often than him. If anything, she would be able to see him every other weekend, unless that’s what your agreement is already. Maybe you and your child’s father should have an in person conversation about this instead of everything being over text message or phone -if you are able of course , not sure if he is abusive or what not the exact situation is. He has every right to think you may be doing this, and these aren’t your daughters true feelings. I’m not sure your past with him, but of course if your daughter isn’t physically telling him how she feels, he might think you’re telling her to text him things. Again, my opinion and point of view from the information given in the post.
Go for it; sounds like your daughter’s spidy sense are in tune.
You can petition but I highly doubt it will be modified as it has been like this and does make it look suspicious that this randomly comes up. I would definitely document it, call a lawyer, and if she brings it to your attention in a few weeks then ask the court to modify. Its hard to modify based on a child’s opinion or feeling.
In most states if your daughter is 12 or older she can testify in court as to her wishes and explain why she’s not comfortable. I would recommend talking to an attorney that offers a free consultation and allow her to talk to them too. Better to have all the proper legal information straight from the horses mouth than to just trust us legal eagles on Facebook
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Don’t get involved with the family court it will take forever and drain the life out of you. The system sux
Parents should set their selfishness, revenge, and want to be the winner status aside. Both should be there for their child to have a healthy upbringing and not become a pawn between parents. Don’t let their anger over a failed marriage interfere with raising their children. Divorce is hard enough on children without adding to it without complaining about each parent’s failings. Check the laws of your state before you go on a wild goose chase and listen to your children if they are unhappy.
Yes! You should go back to court to change this.
Yes you can always modify orders. Just have good cause and proof and over the age of 12 kids are allowed to be listened to by the judge what their desires are.
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Have him take her to lunch and a movie. Take her to the mall for icecream. Spend time one on one away from his house or your house
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14 year old can decide. where they go
Judges will listen to a child’s point of view after a certain age so look into that.
He’s being a dad in name only. He has no interest in having a stable environment for his daughter, just that he has “rights” to her. It’s time to modify.
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take screenshots, record conversations, write EVERYTHING DOWN…
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