Is it possible that my ex gets custody?

Hello! I need some advice. Is it possible for my children’s father to try taking me to court for custody if he has not been involved in their lives for years and is not on the birth certificate? Thank you in advance.

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He needs to prove paternity, has he been paying child support if not and he can’t prove that he has been in their lives, he won’t have a chance.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible that my ex gets custody?

Umm no. He can request visitation but it will be limited if he has no contact previously. However, if a relationship has been established, and they know him, then most likely a joint custody order will be done. However, a paternity test will be ordered to establish paternity. It doesn’t matter if he is on the BC or not. The courts look at what is in the best interest of the children.

Unless he can prove you unfit…not likely to happen. As long as you have a roof over their head and they have food to eat and clothes on their back he can’t just take them like that. He needs a lot of proof and very damm good reason why he should have them.

honestly depends on what state your in. some states favor mother’s having custody over fathers… and since he’s not on the birth certificate he would have to get a paternity test; again depending on your state. while he may not get full custody if he takes you to court and he isn’t labeled as “unfit” and neither are you shared custody is possible to be granted. but it really all boils down to your state.

I mean he can take you all he wants. He’s not going to win unless you’re an unfit mother.

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Yeah it’s possible. Depending on what star you’re in they’ll do a paternity test to prove whether he’s the father or not and if he is (not saying he isn’t) then they’ll give him a fair trial.

Unless you’re unfit I feel like the worst case would be visitation rights probably. By not being around for years and not being on the birth certificates he’s already given proof that he wasn’t interested in being a parent. Unless he just didn’t know about them till now which doesn’t sound likely.

He’d have to request a paternity test. You would then request supervised visits bc he is a stranger to them.

He can take you to court but that does not mean he will get custody. They will probably make him pay child support and visitation. Unless he proves ur unfit .

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Doesn’t matter what state you live in. All states have pretty much the same rule once custody is established he would have to prove you are unfit in order to take custody from you. If custody hasn’t been legally established the judge usually goes by what has been the living arrangement. If you’ve had them in your custody for years even if it’s not court ordered he will get visitation but unless he can prove you’re unfit you’re unlikely to lose custody

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He won’t get custody if he hasn’t seen them in years but by law he can get visitation rights.

Anything is possible, BUT its highly improbable. Especially since he hasn’t been involved with his children. He would have to prove you are dangerous and incompetent to care for them.

Depends on who can afford best liar I mean lawyer

The court will prob ask for a DNA test to confirm if hes the father and he may not get custody right away but be aware that the court will give him parenting time regardless if he been MIA til now. And through time they may grant him some type of visitation and eventually some custody unless u can prove him unfit. Good luck!!!

hed have to get a parenting test if hes not on the birth certificates

Yes and no he can get partial custody or visitation rights unless you are unfit he won’t get full … Although down the road if he proves he’s a better parent he can try for full

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If he hasnt been involved in years it’s considered parental abandonment, meaning he would have little to no chance of even getting visitation

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Was he not involved because he chose not to be or was it because you kept the kids from him? If he gets paternity test and a slick lawyer that makes it look like you deliberately left him off birth cert and away from kids you could have a problem. Make sure you have evidence and witnesses to verify your case.

If you are proven unfit, then yes it is possible.

He will have a lot of proving to do as a father before custody is even possible since he hasn’t been in their life. He would have to do visitation and all the things needed by the court. And it can get expensive to go to court for custody. I also agree with what others said, he would have to prove you unfit to get full custody. Some guys will back out when they have to do so much to prove themselves. Is he just threatening it because he’s mad at you? He will have to prove a proper motive since he isn’t just asking to have visits to get to know them. Asking for custody out of the blue with no relationship with the kids is a bit odd.

If he takes you to court because you wont let him see his child despise him being absent or not UNFORTINALLY he has a fair leg TO STAND ON … the court will grant him a parentage order which means a legal dna test will be done if it positive again unfortunally foe you he will automatically be put on the birth certificate with out your permission making him gain 50/50 rights to his child and a child arrangement order will be made You cannot break a court order no matter how bad the situation is or if he is late or dont turn up you have to show your doing everything to encourage it . If he dont show up for most of it then you can then go back to court and say that the arrangement is mentally disrupting the child … however he will only get FULL custody if your with social servicies and deemed unfit

Or if a new partner is a sex offender .or been to prison .

Alcohol abuse or cannot meet your childs needs

He can try but highly doubtful he’d get custody, he’d probably get visiting rights.

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Unless he can prove you are an unfit mother he won’t get full custody. But he can get 50/50 but it would probably start out with supervised visits or weekends then go from there. If he can prove he’s the father and he’s a fit parent it don’t matter he’s been gone for year’s. If he can prove he’s the father he can also have his name put on their birth certificate and everything. He would probably have alot of back child support to pay.

Its possible. If he gets a paid lawyer and has any receipts of you neglecting the kids say bye bye…

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible that my ex gets custody?

Yes, but it is a long process and it starts with establishing paternity, I would suggest consulting a lawyer so you are ready if he does go through with it.

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I would like to know the answer to this too

Um and if that happened then judge will force him to pay you child support for those years that he haven’t. It happened to my friend

Depending on the state. Usually a paternity test is done first.

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Yes it’s possible as someone else said paternity must be established , and after that he could take you to court for custody and or visitation. You need to consult an attorney,

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Yes it’s possible but ask yourself if it’s realistic sounds like some kind of threat honestly.

He has ZERO rights!!! He can get a lawyer to get a paternity test first then take you to court for visitation NOT custody:) If he hasn’t been in their lives and you have no open CPS cases he cannot and will not get custody! Been thru this

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Yes consult an attorney

Hed have to petition the court for custody if hes not on the birth certificate the a DNA test will be done to confirm paternity.

From there you and him will have to have your lawyers provide information on finances etc to show who could be a primary parent or if it will be joint.

Its a process but lawyer up

He can likely get some form of visitation yes.

Yes. He can have a court ordered dna test, he can get some kind of visitation.

Yeah all it takes is a damn good lawyer and DNA test

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Depends on state as different factors can go into it age of child and paternity as well as taking into account any relationship or lack there of

Yes, if there’s a justifiable reason. Of course he’d have to establish paternity during the proceedings

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He absolutely can take you to court. Doesn’t mean he will be granted anything. But doesn’t mean he won’t be either

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Anything is possible. If you are so a good Mother and have a stable home for your kids. It’s not likely you would lose custody. Maybe he would get joint custody. Just talk with a family court lawyer.

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Yes he most definitely can take you to court. That being said it’s very unlikely for him to gain full custody if he’s had no involvement with your kids. It’s a long process would most likely start with a paternity test to determine he is bio father. Then they most likely would want to try and slowly start visits probably starting at a visitation centre of some sort until they find it appropriate for him to have his own scheduled times with them and then would try and get you to agree to a joint custody of some sort. And that’s all if he even moves beyond his threats and actually follows through with court. But there would be no way you would just lose your kids to him having full custody, unless proven to be a unfit parent.

He has to fight for a DNA test first to confirm he is the father, then the courts work out everything else, custody to visitation. It is possible for him to gain custody if he can prove you are unfit or he is a more stable environment.

Ask an attorney, every state is different

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Yea but he wont get full. If u have proof of years of nothing then bring it. We arent lawyers and every state is different

It sure is. I know someone that signed their rights away, & then 5 years later, sued for full custody, & got it!!!

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If he didn’t sign it and is not on there. There’s nothing he can do every state is different they give them like 3 years to change it and if he wasn’t at all in the child’s life then the judge grants the mother but all states are different and if he wants to fight it he better have some big bucks for it all and if he dose then dna then visitation but there is a lot of rules and regulations to follow it’s not easy

Would have to do a DNA…doubt custody

Yes of course he there fatherb

Talk to a lawyer. Every situation is different

Well. Why first.

What you afraid for. They won’t just swoop on am grab your child u less your not fit. –

All these men thin they use our kids against us and so easy us outsiders to see the red flags.

Just protect yourself have no contact with him for now. -----.

No contact at all. Unless concerning the child.

Courts have became smart and are not run on emotion… Let him take you to Court and get himself in trouble.

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If he isn’t on the BC, he has no rights until paternity is established. If you’re married now, I’d have that man sign their BC’s so he would legally be their dad. If you live a clean lifestyle and your kids are healthy and happy, I wouldn’t worry so much about losing custody. There is a chance if he takes you to court and establishes paternity, he will have a legal right to the kids and you will both have joint custody. Good luck with everything.

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Nah he could try but not if he hasn’t been in their lives he will loose

He would have to prove he is actually the father first and unless he has thousands stashed away for a fees etc I wouldn’t worry x

Short answer yes, he can establish paternity even if he is not on the birth certificate through the court by asking for a court order DNA test and establish paternity that way and legally be acknowledged as his kid’s father and even get visitation

From experience…possible, yes. Lengthy, expensive, time consuming on his part, also yes. He would first have to establish parentage through a state certified DNA test then go from there.

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He can petition for a DNA test and try for some visitation. He has to prove you’re unfit to become custodial parent tho.

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I won’t say it’s impossible, but def it won’t be that easy. He’ll have to establish paternity, file a motion in family court, and make a convincing argument. More than likely he’ll try to prove you unfit, WHICH IS VERY RARELY done. I’d maybe speak to a lawyer just for peace of mind. Good luck!

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He will likely get visitation before he is granted custody.

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My ex tried that… I got full custody and he had to start paying child support lol

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Yes. It would take a bit longer because of DNA since he isn’t on the birth certificate. But because he wasn’t in the child’s life much they won’t take the baby away from you since you are all baby knows. He could get partial custody though.

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Well not to say it’s impossible but very very hard to prove you’re a bad mother for him to get custody the man never gets custody unless they got a bunch of money and time to put up in there to get it it’s funny cuz he’ll probably be paying child support LOL

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He’s not going to win!!

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Yes it is possible and it would take a bit, but if he is trying to step up and be a father and he is actually willing to go through the steps to get partial custody then I believe you should give him a chance and work on co-parenting together. He may have not had the means to help take care of a child and that is why he worked on getting his life together and now wants to go through the process to see his child! And I do not know original poster just my opinion and the thought that someone being willing to go through all the process then he must want to see him

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He would first have to get a DNA test but even after that since he hasn’t been involved in years I’m sure the judge won’t give him custody maybe visitation. I wouldn’t worry to much.

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Get ahead and start the process

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He would have to prove paternity first then he could try for joint custody or visitation without proving u unfit.

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It’s not impossible. But it is improbable. He’d have to establish paternity first, then he could get visitation. But unless you are an unfit parent, it’s not likely he’ll get full custody. But chance of reunification leading up to 50/50.

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Yes got a good lawyer and hit him hard child support everything layers says if not you may be in trouble

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I try not to comment on these but, YES! He has to establish paternity, stability and a fit home. After that it’s a battle of money. Yes, money. My ex, that wanted our daughter aborted, was in prison when she was born and therefore not on her birth certificate…got custody after a year of being released. I wasn’t unfit. I was raising my older 4 from my first marriage. I had primary custody of all 5. I worked a salary job (lots of hours) and he came from money. The judge decided that I had my hands full and he had a good support system. When all things are even nearly equal, get a REALLY GOOD ATTORNEY

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Unless you are deemed unfit there is no way he could take the kids completely and get full custody. Judges look at the healthy of the child as a whole and it isn’t healthy for a child to be without a parent. Especially if both are involved. The most he could get is 50/50 custody. But since he hasn’t been involved it would be a long road for him. File before he does that helps too

All he has to do is request a paternity test and it doesn’t matter if he hasn’t just that he wants to now

Being as he hasn’t been around in years, he couldn’t take the kid(s) from you. But a judge would more then likely order supervised visitations to begin with for any type of partial custody of them since he’s basically a stranger to them.
But he would also need to establish paternity first and do DNA tests for the kids, which he would need to pay for. At that point you could file for child support tho.

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How old is the child? Honestly its toxic to the child if he’s never been around! Get a lawyer. Even free legal aid

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Yes it is possible… While my children’s father was on their birth certificate, that is an easy yet expensive hurdle to over come… Every state is different in how they view custody and the grounds they use to determine a parent is unfit to care for their child… In my case, my ex husband was out of the picture for nearly 5 years and never paid child support for our daughters the entire time. When we went to court, I was a stay at home mom with my fiance working and bringing home over 80,000 a year… In California, the judge determined that because I was unemployed, I was not fit to provide for my children and my ex husband got custody because he had a job even though he had no established relationship with our children… My recommendation is to find a lawyer that works with child custody and do your research…

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Get a lawyer. My husband has prime physical over his 11 year old. But it took money. His mom has 50/50 medical. And gets him in the summer. Last 2 summers he has been here bc of her husband’s job. I think that is why this summer. We haven’t heard from her since October of last year. He rather be here. But we all know she has the right to come get him. She wanted to abort him, lied to a judge, her witness lied his lawyer proved this in court. So you are going to need a lawyer. Good luck

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He could take you for visitation rights, but it’s very unlikely he’d get custody unless he can prove you to be unfit.

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If he wants to threaten custody, then make sure to ask for back child support

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Me and my fiancé took his sons mom to court when he was a week away from his second birthday. We were on the birth certificate with court ordered visits in place within 6 months of filing. And if he’s on food stamps or anything he can file it all with the courts for free. He may no get given any decision making but once paternity is proved then he is automatically entitled to visiting rights unless you can prove a valid reason he shouldn’t get to see his kids such as abuse or drug usage

He can file for a dna test and probably end up with visitation .

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No he wouldn’t get custody the courts hate uprooting children unless its for a damn good reason

Assuming hes not abusive or in anyway unfit he has to prove paternity like the others said. Most courts wouldnt just give 50/50 if the children do not have an established relationship with him. He would probably have to start with visitation and child support if you asked for it.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible that my ex gets custody?

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If he hasnt been in the picture he will have to prove himself as safe. Probably will start with supervised visitation

Nope been going through this with my daughter and her son

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He would have to do a DNA test firstly to prove he is dad and a bloody good reason for wanting full custody as a mum seek legal action to protect yourself otherwise good luck :blush:

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My oldest father hasn’t been around period, in and out of jail on drugs & raped a minor. He still ended up getting joint legal and partial physical custody after paternity was established because he pleaded with the judge he wanted to be a father. We have a child support order and modification for custody in august. Depending how many years it’s been and your state laws you could go for abandonment however that is different everywhere. Beat him to the punch and file ASAP. If there’s no order he can take the child and then you’d be in his shoes trying to fight for your child back. The police will not take a child from one “able” parent to give to another “able” parent and do not enforce civil orders unless an emergency but they will still do their best if there is a custody order. If he is granted custody the second he messes up you can file for contempt of the order.

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Not without DNA TESTS (which may not be a good idea if not on birth record). Age of offspring has a lot to do with it too.

He will have to do a dna to prove there his and has to have good cause for wanting them

He can request a dna test and get visitation but it’ll get him child support as well.

He could doubt it would do any good though. Visitation could be a possibility.

A DNA test will reveal paternity whether his name appears on a birth certificate or not. Your question is too simplistic to ask on Facebook. The whole entire truthful circumstances of your situation can’t be known or understood. No one on social media can answer your question correctly. I would seek legal counsel, not Facebook counsel. Child custody issues are complex and depend on many different factors, none of which you can or should explain on social media. Consult a lawyer.

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Minding my own businezs

I would talk to a lawyer instead of people that claim they know the answers. It depends on many factors. Talk to a lawyer.

First a DNA to prove he is father and record of support

My ex significant other called me with this threat. He hadn’t see her in a couple of years then calls me about he’s taking me to court. Never paid one red cent of child support. I just laughed

I believe he would first have to have a paternity test done since he’s not on the birth certificate. The laws of course vary from state to state. But since he has been involved in their lives, and you haven’t said…do they even know him? Have they ever spent ANY time with him? If not, then no, they are not just going to uproot kids from the only home they know and send them off to live with a stranger. Also, he would have to prove you are unfit to take full custody of them. Meaning you’re abusive, you neglect them, you’re a drug user or an alcoholic, mentally unstable, etc. If he can prove none of these, again, no, they aren’t just going to randomly take your kids from you. Most men threaten this when they don’t get their own way, but don’t actually act on it. Is this about child support he doesn’t want to pay? Or extra money from the child tax credit? It’s very doubtful that any judge would grant someone who just decided he wanted to be dad now after not being one since day one any type of custody. Get yourself a lawyer but don’t worry yourself to death over this. And ALWAYS keep records. Of when he calls, when he visits, if he shows up for birthdays, holidays, etc. How long he’s spent with the kids, or talked to them on the phone. And how long they go without hearing one word from him.

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