When everyone is hanging out together I think it’s rude, because they can’t include you. If you aren’t really part of the hangout though then you shouldn’t care. I would spend decent money on a translator, and learn.
His second language?
My ex is arabic and would speak it all the time in front of his friends. Didnt bother me a bit. And if they were talking shit oh well. That is his language. I tried to learn but man that shit is hard. Here is a thought. Learn his language.
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My husband is Puerto Rican. He speaks Spanish and English. When he is speaking to his family he alternates between Spanish/English depending on who he is talking to. I would never ask him to not speak his first language, that is part of who he is. If it bothers you that much, learn your boyfriend’s language. But get over yourself, he has every right to use his native/first language.
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Learn a language he dont speak and give him a dose of his own medicine and only do it when your friends come around. As you can clearly see he’s not going to stop. Or install the translation app
Learn it without him knowing, then you’ll know if he’s saying something bad about you🤣
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Omg the comments… 
Is it rude of you to speak english in front of a non-english speaker? I think the real issue here is your assumption that they are talking about you. That doesn’t say a lot about your trust with your partner.
He can speak however he wants, but he shouldn’t be talking smack if that’s what hes actually doing. Seems a bit weird he’d get mad over you asking what he said
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Maybe you should learn hus language. Maybe his friends and family don’t speak English.
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No it’s not, it’s the main language they speak.
Now it’s rude for you not to learn a little Portuguese. It’s rude for you to ask him not to do it. Maybe try asking him to teach you. In stead on having to translate everything.
It bothered me at first. I tried to learn polish and gave up 
7 years later and I’d rather him talk to them in polish than me in any language 
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Learn his language and he want be able to do it any more
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I used to date a man of Mexican ethnicity. We lived together for awhile. He would call his mother a couple of times a week. They would talk in English part of the time, but for part of the conversation he would switch to Spanish. He knew I didn’t understand and he wouldn’t teach me. I knew he had to be discussing something about me or something he didn’t want me to know about. I not only found it rude, I felt like I was never going to really be a part of his life. I felt he was seeing someone else not long after and made him leave. He married someone else about my age who had kids from another marriage. He asked my daughter later why I kicked him out. She told him. But I never really explained to her how much the language problem bothered me.
Wow. It isn’t rude to speak another language. Why should he only pander to yours? Smh
I would learn some Portuguese. It’s a habit to speak the language your more comfortable with for multi-lingual ppl. However if he does he should have no problems translating it on the fly until you start learning the language. There’s also always body language and tones to interpret if your worried about them talking about you otherwise let it be. Start learning a few words.
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Learn to speak Portuguese.
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Google translate? idk.
KAREN! The world doesn’t revolve around you! Just because you don’t speak the language doesn’t mean everybody else around you has to speak English so YOU can understand and know they are not talking about you.
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Learn Portuguese on low low, then listen in on the conversation
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Learn to speak their language. Seems like common sense.
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Maybe his family & friends understand Portuguese more than they understand English. You can’t get mad at him for spreading the language they speak just because you don’t understand it.
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My husband is Dutch and when he’s with friends and family they try to speak English but often forget and have convos in Dutch.
It is frustrating sometimes especially when I want to feel included in convo but also I try to remember that he doesn’t do it on purpose to exclude me.
Tell him the foundation for how it makes you feel- that it excludes you and that hurts a little.
Also tell him you want to learn and have him translate for you so you can pick things up.
He should not blow off your concerns and feelings. But also give him benefit of realizing he’s not doing it to hurt you or exclude you. Meet in middle, just got to find that middle by talking.
There is a language site called bable easy way to learn a foreign language not very expensive or hard. At least you would be bettering yourself. Good luck
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If I were you, I would feel like I should either learn the language or not date someone who is bilingual. You are asking a person to deny themselves and not be who they are just to accommodate your short coming. You want him to assimilate to you and your culture when it was your choice to date someone who doesn’t share your background. How would you feel if he then decided until you speak Portuguese you can no longer go with him to bilingual environments? What if he said to you that you were rude for not being bilingual and able to speak to his friends and family? This is a very self centered post. That man deserves better. I hope he breaks up with you for being so selfish.
I would learn the language and then listen in on what he says to his friends lol. 
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Yes it is rude, if he’s your partner and not trying to teach you and he knows it bothers you. ask him to teach you. If not learn it on your own. Or break up with him, this is the future of your life
I mean if the entire group is speaking a different language, maybe it’s time for you to learn that language 
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Time to get you some Rosetta Stone, or a new boyfriend, whichever is easiest lol.
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Either learn the language or leave him
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Yes I’d say it’s rude if he’s doing it especially if they know how to speak English so u would understand but if they don’t know English to well then u can’t expect them to speak it!
It’s a learning opportunity. Download duolingo and learn the language or take a class from your local ROTC. There’s a pretty good chance, they aren’t talking about you. English speaking only people tend to get the most butthurt about people not speaking English when they are present. Is Portuguese his friends first language? You didn’t mention that part, if that’s the case, why should they have to learn to speak English for you? Granted it’s only human decency to speak the common language of the bigger part of the group, so if they can all speak English, then yes it’s a jerk move. They also sell ear piece translators on amazon for like 25$ that you can just pop in your ear so you can be aware of what’s being said.
I’m just here to say that just because you don’t understand the language and are feeling a little insecure in your relationship with him does not mean the conversation is automatically about you. Take a deep breath and relax. Consider having a conversation with your boyfriend about whether or not he is willing to help you learn his language and in the meantime have him meet you half way… you can’t expect him to change when you’re not willing to.
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you can literally get a phone app that translates what they are saying. Either way, get a new man or learn the language.
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I would learn Portuguese secretly until I was fluent. Then the next time he spoke to his friends, I would join in
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Left out & feeling I needed to get out!
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It is considered rude according to traditional etiquette.
Learn his language? Sure! It’s always good to know another language 
but maybe double think putting all that effort in for someone that isn’t even willing to put in the effort to consider your feelings.
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Omg, just learn Portuguese! 
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It’s rude if he’s not trying to include you in the conversation in a way. It could be just guy talk or their personal stuff. You shouldn’t be bothered that he speaks a different language, but you should be bothered if he’s talking about you. People saying “learn the language to ease drop” is dumb. You should be able to trust your husband. Guys can have their guy talk, as long as he’s not and allowing them to disrespect you it’s not a big deal.
Myself, I would never date someone I don’t speak the same language as only because I don’t take well, and honestly don’t try that hard, to learn another language. So I wpuld tell my other half from the beginning. “I don’t, and will not speaking any language but my own for the foreseeable future” simple as that. If you didn’t do that at the beginning… then it’s on you
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I do it… my puerto rican man does it. We both speak different languages. You’d have to come from a different culture to understand. Some things are easier said in our language. The English language doesn’t always cover all the things we want to say in the way we say it. Sometimes saying things in our own languages have more meaning than the english tongue. We are different cultures and we have inside jokes that no one else would understand. Maybe you should learn more about his culture. English is a plain language to people like us. The words are very basic.
Also, in some cultures… its disrespectful to speak English to their own people if they know the language. It takes away a lot of meanings.
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My family emigrated from Germany During WW2…
When arrived in America the German language wasn’t spoke outside the home…
it was considered disrespectful to our fellow Americans… So much so that they didn’t teach it to anyone because they were no longer in Germany…
But times have changed and this country is built on diversity accept it and Learn from it. Learn the language!!!
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Oh I constantly tell the clerks in Walmart, “you speak English”? They say yes. I say, then use it because it’s rude, then I speak to the Manager about it. They are in Canada, know our language but don’t use it, uh no I don’t think so.
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If this is a long term relationship, maybe learn to speak Portuguese. He learned to speak English.
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Speaking as someone who speaks English and Spanish, yes, it’s rude. My mother’s family is Cuban. My dad is not. My mom’s family, even my grandmother, always made an effort to only speak English in front of him. It’s really just common courtesy.
Learn the language secretly and listen to what he says for a while then you will know lol, that’s what I would do 
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No it’s rude my ex use to speak in his own language and I’d just be sat there awkward hated it
Personally I find it rude… I would feel like they are talking bad about me
If that is his and their first language- I can understand that it’s probably just easier and more natural to them. 
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So learn his language?
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I would secretly learn how to speak Portuguese and surprise him when he says something you answer him in the same language. Then the games over.
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It’s rude if it’s done to purposefully exclude you. It’s definitely rude if he’s annoyed by being asked what’s being talked about when you’re part of the group and don’t understand the conversation. It’s not rude of them if they don’t speak English, but definitely rude for your boyfriend to not translate for you. If I were you I’d hang out where I’m included and possibly exit the relationship, or try to learn some Portuguese if you’re committed to making your relationship last long-term.
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If I were you, I would use translate APP to see what they are saying. If they’re are in fact talking about you use the APP to cuss their asses out. 
Yes it’s rude. It is shutting you out.
I would question his loyalty to me.
i think its disrespectful. i hate when ppl do that shit
Learn Portuguese just like he learned English. #Simple
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Girl get you a translation app. Problem solved
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I have a Mexican friend that speaks Spanish around me sometimes doesn’t bother me at all
Learn to speak if with out telling him then just randomly tell him to shut the fuck up when hes talking to his buddies. Use like Rosetta stone or something
Get the google translate app and see what he’s saying. Or learn to speak it as a surprise for him.
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They have head phones “ they are like ear pods) that translate in real time I suggest you get pair and not say anything to him 
they work
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I think its rude. But that’s just me. I would either learn Portuguese without him knowing to know if he’s just chatting or talking behind your back, or get a voice to word translator on your phone. Put a Bluetooth in so it makes no outward noise and push the mic button when he’s talking to translate it for you
Do his friends speak English? Maybe they only speak Portuguese? But, if I thought they were talking about me I might pull up Google translate. 
I think so he could include you
No. Tell the other person to stop being nosey. Signed,
An English only speaker.
I would be really intrigued to learn, especially with having a personal motivation (your bf) to understand his language. Even more so, since he speaks your language.
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I think it’s rude of him to get irritated at you for asking what he said.
You really only have like 3 options. Learn the language yourself, get used to it, or leave him. Choice is yours.
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Learn his language. Why would you be with someone who’s first language is different than yours and not try to learn it
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Only Karens get mad about stuff like this, why even get with someone that speaks another language? 
learn his language if u don’t wanna feel left out. Some ppl are so entitled, u really wanna dictate when this man uses his native tongue smh
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Either get a translation app or learn his language if you wanna know what he’s saying 
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Yes, it’s rude. It would not be rude if he was translating for you, however, since he appears to get mad at you for asking what was said in front of you, it’s rude. Learn the language. Babbel is a great place to start.
I can relate and it’s annoying but you signed up for it! I just politely excuse myself or choose to not hang out when they’re all together. I’m not about to learn another language🤣
Learn his language or translate he’s probably not even talking about you just talking to his friends, do his friends know English? Are they proficient enough to have comfortable conversations in English? And also if you think he is talking bad about you leave him why stay with someone who bad mouths you? It’s like if he secretly messaged in the gc about you, it doesn’t matter the language it matters that you dont know what he is saying.
It’s rude because you are there with him and you are all in a social setting. That is of course if they all know English. It’s also rude and weird he doesn’t even want to tell you what they are saying.
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Only if they look at you and then laugh
That would be rude😲
I would secretly learn Portuguese and then eavesdrop
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If that’s his first language maybe it’s time you learn it?! Him qnd his friends conversation is probably far more natural in his first language…
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Oh no. Portuguese people speaking Portuguese 
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If you plan to be with this man for the rest of your lives your going to either have to learn the language or learn to let it be and understand its just his way of life 
This comes off as a bit controlling because of insecurities
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Yea very disrespectful in your company
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It’s very rude! I was at the nail salon awhile back and they kept talking to each other in Vietnamese. Well the lady next to me said that she understood it and they were talking about us 
so now I have the translator app on my phone and bring it in with me! It’s very rude!!!
OFCOURSE ITS RUDE!!! is this a real question😁
Whats the point in being there ? Stay home when he goes out with friends or go out with your own. Yes I think its disrespectful and personally he wouldn’t be my bf
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Its very frustrating my husband speaks Spanish after so long I just shrug it off and ask about it later when we alone. Sometimes he goes into details other times not so much. But he should also respect your feelings as well. For the long run though this wont change about him unfortunate.
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It’s not rude. Learn Portuguese 
I’d feel like getting a boyfriend who speaks English…
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If they speak english…yes.
If they don’t, No
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If he speaks English he should include her by translating and that would help her learn his language
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Time to learn to speak Portuguese
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I don’t see a problem. Clearly he’s having a conversation with his friend not you.
You’d be the one to get mad at a store hearing someone on the phone speaking anything but English when it doesn’t involve you.
Depends if the friends only know that language my mom used to feel the same way.
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Get you an app and start recording the conversations and translate them…
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Learn Portuguese if it offends you.
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LMAO these comments are hilarious. Why get upset ask him to teach you to speak. Or learn yourself and impress him with the fact that you wanna be able to be a part of his culture.
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Dude you knew what you were getting into from the jump idk why you’re irritated. He took the extra step to learn English. Where’s your step to learn his home language?
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First of all, it’s absolutely rude and ill-mannered to speak another language in mixed company if not everyone speaks the language. It’s no better than disregarding the presence of someone there and blatantly IGNORING them.
If this is going to be a long term relationship, then it would be nice to take the initiative to learn the language. Only because you live that person, not because you want them to stop IGNORING your presence and continue to be disrespectful.
If anyone disagrees, pull up a book on etiquette and manners ‘internationally’.
I have close Spanish friends who are old fashioned and they would never be that disrespectful. They’ll make it a point to say, speak English or translate as they go for those who might feel left out of the conversation.
I’d feel ignorant. Learn a new language!
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That’s him and his culture. He had this language before you came along. If it bothers you, learn Portuguese.
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