Is it wrong of me to expect my husband to put his family first and cut time with his friends?

Let him live his life. Yes he is a father BUT that doesnt mean he cant do what he wants when he wants.

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He needs to grow the hell up! Are they parting with drugs and alcohol? He shouldn’t of got married with children if he just wanted a mother!

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It sounds like His preferences and needs are different than yours. The easiest way to fix this is to find a happy medium. Try to talk to him and tell him you understand that’s who he is and what he likes to do, and that you want to respect that, but you also would like certain things as well. Designate times or days that you’re not ok with him just doing whatever. My husband is a very social person, and I’m sometimes just not. Just because we are different there doesn’t mean he’s not content with his family. My husband and I are both happy with our family life and spending time together. But people need other interaction sometimes too. And for people who are like my husband if they don’t get that interaction with other adults they can easily become depressed.

Personally if it were me though I’d make his friends part of the family. I don’t have many friends, maybe like 2 lol. So when my husbands friends come over I cook and we all do stuff and I really just try to be friendly and act like they’re family too. That’s how he sees them anyways. His best friend has lived with us, slept on our couch for months.

Family is important, but he may see them as such too. Don’t take that away from him. Just try to find a compromise like I said.

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Your insulting his family. And family is who is important to him as well. Your definition of family is exiling anyone you do t approve of. You married him knowing this was his way. And if I’m totally honest with you. Him changing will in the long run be a bad idea. When you love someone you accept their Life. If it was an everyday gone with the boys it would have been over by now right? Pick your battles. All on his own mine changed his whole make up and honestly it’s more annoying than who I met and joined with. He’s not the same person. And he won’t be.
You deserve the guilt trip because you get what you give. And your the one giving the guilt trip.
You only think that’s what you want. Is you change it and a year later your not happy with that?
There is no issue just you

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I give my husband one night out a week with his friends or whatever and sometimes he go out on a weekend. They usually have 1 day during the week set and they switch houses between them every week so I get a break and it helps with keeping our toddler on a schedule if he gets hammered lol :joy:.

He’s definitely more of a Social butterfly then myself but he also knows I would prefer some wine and craft or a book over people as I work on sales and have an online shop so I get peopled out fast.

As long as I know about it so I can plan my day with my work shop and household schedule he knows I’m cool with it.

Everyone needs a little bit of a release from time to time and the boys seem to need it the most and him with his friends help keep me sane as well. The only time I get annoyed is when it’s last minute n I don’t have the house picked up but I get over it quick.

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Our family days include friends. They are family if they sit at our table. Hubby’s friends are over alot. Every Saturday night is bonfire and drinking. Hon you need to look around you and realize what love is outside of blood. Some of my husbands friends parents are no longer alive. They come over and are treated as family. I for one never went out to drink. I never limit my husband on life.

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He brings his friends over for Christmas and new years, and you think that’s a problem? And if he was like this before y’all got married, then you knew well what you were getting into…

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Would you rather him go out instead of bringing his friends over? I mean…:woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

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This should of been addressed in the beginning.There is nothing wrong with him having friends.I would how ever sit down and say you don’t mind if they come over but you 2 need to agree on days that will be friend free.

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Not going to change leave him

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I think it’s about balance. Maybe come to an agreement with how much and compromise. My hubby likes his alone time at home to relax and destress, I prefer to go out, visit and have a good time. We have fought about it often because we stand differently on the topic. But we’ve worked it out and balance everything now. I think it would be wrong to expect him to cut all ties and not enjoy himself anymore. But there’s definitely a time and place.

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This definitely sounds like a deeper issue… his need for socialization isn’t an attack on you. And you don’t need to take it that way. Probably the easiest solution is scheduling. Let him schedule his time with his friends and schedule family time, schedule alone time, etc. doesn’t need to be a big deal.

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I get holidays but I bet he did all this before marriage and kids so tech you don’t have right to bitch you knew it was how he is. Everyone needs friends and to be able to go out socialize decompress.

Yes it is wrong.you don’t seem to be wanting him to put his family first you seem to want him to only care about you and his family and trust me if he does not have friends and he does not have outside interaction with other people it will come back and haunt you it will draw a wedge between you and him and you guys will not get along you will argue because he needs an outlet other than you. Now if you want to ask him to only do it certain amount of times a month or something like that where he hangs out with his friends then that’s fine but telling him not to hang out with him at all not to have them over at all that is just crazy you cannot expect somebody to change their complete lifestyle because they got with you

You kind of sound like my husband. He thinks I should be content being at home with my kids and not have any out time. My identity does not revolve around just my family. I love my kids and being with my family. But I need my life as well.

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He needs to make friends with other dads, so there is a balance. No it’s not unreasonable

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I think this lady just wants a better balance. He should be able to enjoy himself both with his friends and family. I dont think shes be demanding or controlling to want to put her family first sometimes, she doesn’t say at all she wants hubby home all the time. Maybe try open honest conversation. Get a sitter and just talk to each other, what’s missing that he needs to go out every weekend?

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At a time like this their shouldn’t be any family or friends visiting maybe FaceTime texting calling… Wishing all the best

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He’s not 12. He’s grown and his family goes first. Nothing wrong with hanging out with friends but absolutely holidays are for family. It’s that called gaslighting when they are manipulative like that? Whatever it is, it’s narcissistic as hell.

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You’re right, a grown man should stop behaving like a kid. Its time he realised what his priorities are , and put ppl who matter first and foremost. Family comes first, before friends . And as you’re doing your part by your family, he should too. It’s a 2 way game, it shouldn’t be on one person. Also, no you’re not overreacting. Dont let anyone make you think that way. Simply, he needs to set his priorities straight, and some men never do, so have a serious discussion with him and set some boundaries, explain that as we mature with age, we need to choose our priorities and that you both are willing to have friendships, Upto the point where itv doesn’t affect your family life

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If you tolerated this before the wedding, I feel it’s a bit selfish to demand him to chose between family and friends now. We are all unique and opposites attract most of the time… We just need to learn to compromise. Our house is a Home, to all who loves us, friends, family and even strangers that become friends over time. I would prefer my husband socializing at home rather then sending him away and lie in bed wondering if he is safe. Age is nothing but a number. Him having the need to socialize a lot with his friends doesn’t make him childish. Put yourself in his shoes. If. You are going to throw tantrums all the times, you are the childish one. So yes, some might read this comment and say pfff she’s crazy or stupid or whatever, but that’s just it… We all see life differently. My opinion doesn’t mean I’m right…and vice versa. Marriage is all about communication, trust, respect and compromise🙏

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I think there needs to be a balance between being a parent and being an individual and he should be allowed to have friends and that time. On the other hand so should you. So find a hobby you enjoy to make some new friends and on the nights you go out, you don’t have to drink, but definitely have something that’s your to go out and do without hubby and kids

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I can relate. Went through exact same thing -now divorced from him. There was no balance.

My 2 boys were 21 mos apart. I was working FT, exhausted. On wkds I just needed to catch up on sleep/rest but the single friends were always over eating/drinking/partying. My ex provided every thing even though we struggled to pay our mortgage. I felt like I outgrew him. After 10yrs we still couldn’t grow together. He was 9yrs older but still so very immature. Good luck mama. You aren’t wrong for wanting your home to be a peaceful sanctuary.

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You aren’t wrong for thinking family should come first, but if this is how he behaved before you were married and had kids, you can’t expect his priorities to align with yours now if they did not before. Things like this are important to discuss before getting married or having kids.

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He sounds like he enjoys entertaining at your home. You sound like you don’t like entertaining or being around many people at all. He’s an outgoing and you’re an introvert. You need to establish a middle ground. He shouldn’t have to give up his friends, especially around the holidays. You said it yourself, the friends are single(of course they should be invited over on Sundays and on Holidays). Compromise, maybe 2 events a month.

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You both need to compromise here. If he feels like he can’t see his friends it will cause resentment and he will end up doing it behind your back anyway. There’s nothing wrong with him having friends and wanting to spend time with them too, but you need to have an adult conversation about the way you feel. Maybe Friday night or Saturday would be ok but you’d like to have one day on the weekend at least that’s set aside for family. Talk about what works for both of you. Make sure he knows you don’t want him to not have his friends around but let him know you want certain times as family time. I’m sure he will understand that. Good luck! :heart:

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This isn’t an answer very many people will like…but I’d reverse the role for awhile. Make your top priority going out and partying (without him). As soon as he says he has plans, tell him you had plans first and he needs to arrange a sitter! Trust me…it takes a few months and he will see the error of his ways.

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When you marry and have children family is always supposed to be first , that doesn’t mean there can’t be time for friends but there is no reason for a married man or woman to be out most nights…

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If he’s always been this way then yes you are wrong to expect something different… just because you are choosing to not have outside relationships does not mean he shouldn’t as long as he is staying faithful…
I can totally see why it would be irritating however sounds like he’s always been this way🤷‍♀️

Age has nothing to do with it. Hard to change this. My first husband was that way. I worked Saturdays. When I got home, the house was always filled with my husband’s friends and he had done nothing on the chores. In 10 years it never changed. I divorced him. But not for that reason.

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im very lucky like that my husband likes it to just be us maybe a couple of friends on occasion I’m that way also . we are on the same page with that and always have been . now if he had guys coming over all the time . i would not be ok with that . and if i had women coming over everyday . he wouldn’t care for that either that butts into our time together .

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You guys absolutely need time for you guys as well… but you can’t take his friends away. Even if they come to your house for a couple hours atleast you know what is going on. Maybe you both can comprise and have set days where you guys as a couple do things and where he does things with his friends.

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He sounds like a child. You tried to talk to him about it. Instead he turned it around so that you would be the one to be blamed. He took zero responsibility for his side of it.

There’s a word for that:

Brat.

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Communication and compromise is key here. Neither of you should have to change your lives fully to suit the other but you both also need to find a healthy balance that works for your family.

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How selfish. Yes, family comes first, but you have no right to make him cut his friend time whether or not they are the same. Isolation will backfire.

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Oof this exactly how my relationship of 10 years ENDED. He ended up cheating while supposed to be out for a beer with friends…

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You’ve put up with it for all that time ,what’s different now? I say make time to talk about this with your husband,I guess you’ve just realize that you too matter ,and the kids ,well are also his responsibility.Try to find a middle ground,but ,you insist on more family time,his wife and children should be first in his mind.

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For some people, friends are just as loved as family. So yes, it is wrong for you to expect him to drop people he loves out of his life for some personal construct of family or blood relations.
Simply because you sacrificed your friendships doesn’t mean he has to. Perhaps, you should make some friends of your own, and that you are not really happier without a social life.

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At least he is at home, even if it’s with his buddies :roll_eyes::grin: Imo, it’s better than him being with them, somewhere else.

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There needs to be a balance and he needs to grow up now. There’s no reason he can’t spend time with friends but not while neglecting his family. Sounds like he’s not ready to give up the single guy lifestyle. You guys need to have a serious adult conversation. That nonsense he said is exactly how I expect a child to react when they don’t get what they want. If he’s not willing to come to a comprise then I’d tell him he can go ahead and enjoy the bachelor lifestyle because he’s going back to being one.

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I don’t think it needs to be one way or the other. Just because you decided that socialization was over when you had kids, does not mean he has to drop his friends as well. That was your choice, not his. With that said, there is a time where family most definitely comes first and friends need to take a backseat. You and your husband need to have an adult conversation about each of your expectations and work together to come up with a compromise that works for you both.

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Just because you like those things and are content staying home doesn’t mean he is. You can’t change him or make him want to be there he still has to feel like he has something outside of family. If you force him to change it will only backfire and you will lose and he will hold grudges. You need to set meet in the middle set compromises and boundaries. Try getting out and doing things outside of your family. Join clubs make new friends.

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It could be so much worse. He could be gone with friends all the time. Yes, holidays like christmas should be with family. Sundays and new years… no. Just because you are content to be home with just your little family doesn’t mean he should be. Putting your family first doesn’t mean you give up friends or any social life. Have a conversation and compromise.

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You’re right. I personally wouldn’t put up with that. But I wouldn’t be with someone long-term who is super overly into their friend and party-hangout lifestyle. It’s okay once in awhile - sure! But for every holiday? Good Lord no! He definitely needs to grow up and get his priorities straight. But will he change just by bringing this up? Will he take this as a suggestion or will he take this as a threat? Depends on what kind of a man he is.:grimacing::crazy_face:

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There’s a balance. And you can not expect him to give up a social life because you are content without one. I don’t agree with the way he said he would tell his friends. But if he is supporting his family and still spends time with yall. Then let him have his friends and his social times.

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It is wrong to expect him to be you. You don’t socialize he does.you can’t be him either. But it won’t hurt to compromise. Its been 10 years time now to fight or flight.

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Let the man have his friends, maybe get some friends yourself, maybe then you will know everyone needs their friends in life,
If you force it you could lose him
And he be right to go, if he’s not allowed see his mate’s… just cos he has a family
Control freak attitude

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I dont think this is immaturity or him not “growing up” some people are just more social than others…and if he was like this before marriage and kids then you should not have expected him to change people generally don’t…and being social doesn’t mean family comes second.

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Yes family should come first but if he’s bringing them home then I wouldn’t complain unless they are doing terrible things. He could be gone at their places or bars doing god knows what. He’s not afraid to share u with his friends and acknowledge his family.

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That was one of the many reasons my relationship with my sons father ended. (Main was he was verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive ). He would go out with his friends 3-4 nights a week (rarely did they come to our house) leaving me alone with our son . I never got to go out. I never had the chance to make friends where we lived. I was very isolated. Now yeah I was happy with my little man but he has special needs and I could have used a break sometimes too. The most asinine thing now is he now claims he doesn’t trust me alone with my son. Excuse me? Ya sure did for 5 years!

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He’s with the family 350 days a year. It’s only like 15 holidays max. You need to get a life and chill…

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Stop trying to control this man!! Maybe he doesn’t want to be with his family!

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You re not wrong. That’s why you do when you commit and get married

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Pretty much the same over here, 10 years and two kids in, I am the home body and my husband is out a lot. I don’t mind, my husband has a very demanding job so I let him do as he pleases when he’s off, he deserves it. That being said because I hold down the house if I say so he stays his ass at home. If he’s been like that your whole relationship he won’t change, making ultimatums will only break your heart cuz you can clearly see he’d rather be with friends. So either find a way to fill the time without him out let him go.

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I think the important statement is his friends are always at my house…he could be out all hours with his single friends at the club drinking and partying like a single guy. He is home …maybe compromise friends over only a few nights for his friends and a night or two with yours as well . He’s home be thankful he could be running around like a single guy

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I see it as…you have a baby/ family and priorities change. Sure, spending time with friends is important, but you kinda start making friends with people who have kids and can relate to you in this period of life.

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There’s a difference between wanting to spend time with him and control. This is the argument I have with my bf. We have been together for over 8 yrs and have 2 kids. He is u in this situation and I am your SO. To me, it feels like a way of being controlled. I don’t see my friends much as it is but when I want to I should be able to, within reason. It doesn’t diminish how much u r cared for. But wanting and needing a little space is ok.

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Sorry to say, but your husband sounds immature and doesn’t have a firm grip on what is expected of the role of a husband and father.
I’m sorry for you, he probably won’t change.

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Wow hes being super passive aggressive telling you that he will let his friends know you don’t want them there. Not cool. No those are family days. Its good to have ur time apart and own friends bur maybe talk About him going out w them 2-3 times a month? No holidays.

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I’m in a very similar circumstance. Bottom line, he’s not gonna change. You can’t be the “cool wife” and let him do whatever he wants. You either learn to accept it or you end the relationship. You can set boundaries but you need to learn to not feel guilty over them. Keep voicing your stance. Do it in front of his friends to embarrass him- that will get your point across! One of my boundaries is that the friends no longer come over- this house is my haven and safe place with the kids. He will have to take the party elsewhere. Sure, that may mean he is away from home more, but that’s the alternative I decided to deal with rather than have his friends hanging around my kids. And I’ve accepted the fact that I’m on the road to divorce, so I’m just making my preparations… And no, he wasn’t like this before kids. He changed - he said he wants his cake and to eat it too. He’s acting like a spoiled teenager and that is not what I signed up for. I hope it gets better for you soon.

There needs to be a middle ground with friends and family. Maybe have one or two nights a week he gets to go out with them and then one weekend a month they can come over to the house. Or something similar to this that works. Being a partner and father should always come first. You can’t expect him to give his friends up.

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How would he feel if you left him with the kiddos all the time and went out with friends? I’ve got a friend in a similar situation, it makes me angry it happens. I would tell him it bothers you that he’s out all the time while your at home doing the family thing alone, it’s fine to hang with friends but there needs to be a balance.

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It is wrong for your husband to put friends first even for them to be in your home cause you have children these days you cant trust no one only who have a life like your know the pain i pray God change him for family come first

Ya there has to be some middle ground there. My husband gave up parties and drinking to be home more and his friends say he was better for meeting me … some of his friends have kids but they are way older than mine. So if he wants to go out he does cause I’m not one for drinking much anyways. But he don’t do it but maybe a couple times a month

The family you create should always come first.

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Go get a friend for ur self everyone needs alone time and friends… Changing him!! expecting him to stay home with just ur company isn’t healthy… I love my children love when they have friends time away from home to grow and develop… Men women same…especially Christmas should be kids family not a house party but friends r important!!

LMFAO!! Take that man away from his friends and he will take himself out of the family dynamic as well. He is allowed to have friends and spend time with them. You should find some friends as well because it’s important and healthy to spend time with people other than your partner.

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I don’t know. I wouldn’t feel comfortable making any decisions for an adult who chose marriage and children willingly. As my partner I would express my needs and wants if they don’t align. Ugh thinking you have some decisions. I set my boundaries. I’d hate anyone to resent me for forcing a lifestyle upon them.

If you discuss it with him, make sure there is no sound of anger of jealousy or resentment. Some people are very social people that will get depressed if that outlet is disturbed. Mention that “I don’t mind that you want to hang out with your buddies but on holidays I would like you home so our kids can have the experience with their dad” or if it’s like 4th of July or new years do a cook out and have all the buddies over. Their are ways to compromise without making it a big deal. The fact that his friends are single and without attachments they are all still “college buddies” as members of his group gain wives and children the group events will dwindle. Of course there is always get a sitter and join in for a night out on the town, get to know the buddies take a night from the children. For all you know the wives these men take on could be the best galpals you can have!

Nothing wrong with him wanting to have friends around. At least he wants them at your house instead of out at bars. Try doing some couples dinners. I don’t want it to be every night just us. My friends come with husbands and kids especially on new years eve.

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Family should always come first so no, you are not wrong for thinking that! Your feelings are valid so you have every right to feel what you feel! And I could definitely understand where you’re coming from cuz I’m the type of person that gets overwhelmed when I am around other people all the time. (Even more than 2 or 3x a month is too much for me and my fiancé even tho we love to party but we value a lot of private time lol) If he’s known his friends for a very long time, that’s something you can’t take away from him. But if it’s getting to a point where he doesn’t prioritize you guys, such as making plans with you and the kids- even a simple family movie night or whatever, or if you feel that his friends are heavily influencing him etc, I would sit down and have a heart to heart and non judgmental conversation with him. I would also try to approach him in a non attacking way. I hope you both can find a balance and work this out in a loving and peaceful way :heart:

You need to come up with a compromise. It’s important for some people to have that connection and time with their friends even after their married. Maybe it’s not to you but it obviously is for him. So pick a couple of holidays out of the year that you would like to be strictly family and then give him a couple of holidays where he can have his friends over. Try picking a couple a nights out of the month that are family nights and a couple of nights that he can devote to his friends and a few that y’all can all hang together. If you try to stop him from enjoying his life he will either one resent you or 2 become depressed and angry which for men is a dangerous combination. It’s unfair to say well I gave it all up so he should to that was your choice he doesn’t have to make the same one.

My boyfriends EX wife had this attitude… she would cry and phone him constantly when he went out asking what time he would be in, eventually he started saying no to his mates to keep her happy and after a few years they all stopped making an effort to invite him places anymore ect, 6 years later he resented her so much for isolating him and controlling him in such a way he left her… I’d embrace his friends and make them part of the family personally. Being in a relationship shouldn’t mean to give up your friends

Speak to him. Ask for a compromise. Every parent needs to visit the person they were before marriage/kids, once in a while. You both need to connect without kids too. Eventually, they will have lives of their own and it will be just you two again. P.s. been married for 25 years, together over 30. Eventually men grow out of it… usually around 40ish.

Nothing wrong with wanting him to prioritize, but it’s super important to have a life and an identity outside of your significant other.

It should alternate. Sure his friend can come over one weekend and then you guys spend a weekend together.

Or after work they can go grab a beer and hang out for a little while.
Compromise.

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Family should come first but you can’t force him not to have his friends. He sounds like he’s outgoing… Maybe you should go with him at times or have friends of yours. Stop trying to control of force because all your yar going to do is push him away. He may do something that will literally tear you apart. There has to be some way you both meet in the middle. Sit down like adults and communicate without demands…good luck

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Sounds like me and my husband. But opposite. I like to have friends over go out for drinks he’s more of a stay at home type guy. We try and compromise before Covid we’d do date nights with friends or go downtown for drinks anything to get me out of the house. I think it should be compromised but I don’t think having people over and going out all the time is needed. Two each their own. But if your not comfortable with it he should be able to meet you half way and if he can’t compromise well then he’s just being a selfish child.

Sounds like this is a compromise type of a situation… we had friends over this weekend next weekend is for just us, we had a busy family filled Christmas Easter will be quiet etc…

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Let him have his 1 day a week with his buddies. When it comes to holidays, they can come over for a certain time period then leave. It’s a win win for both of you.

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I wouldn’t say cut ties but there should be days that are just family for example holidays and Sunday’s and bedtime for the kids his friend shouldn’t be there too late

Im super stunned by many comments read here. It takes TWO people to make a baby. Not one. No, he should not give up his friends. But family first…ALWAYS!

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I think there is nothing wrong with the man having friends and hanging out with them. If the rolls were reversed and the wife had the friends and having them over all the time and the husband asked them to leave and not have them over than the husband would be labeled a controlling person.

My partner goes out with friends a few times a week ’ before lockdown’ difference is the evenings he was here after work it was all about me and the kids and stilll is, it isn’t healthy to live inside each others pockets and tbh I like the peace sometimes :joy:

An unhappy husband is one that doesnt stick around long. Find compromise. Like honey please for Christmas Day please spend it with your family. Then boxing day he can go out with his friends for a few hours. As long as he is there for the big moments thats what matters. You shouldnt constantly keep him on a leash. Thats not a healthy marriage. My own father married my stepmother and she refused to let him see his kids, friends nobody but her. He went along with it. Still does. He is now depressed, has heart issues and other medical issues. All hes asking is for a few hours to go out and have a beer. Hes not asking for the world.

Maybe suggest every other weekend he has friends over instead of every weekend or maybe even one weekend a month. Idk. There’s a balance somewhere. To completely cut him off from his friends is rotten. Maybe get a sitter one night a month and go let loose a little bit with him.

Thats definitely an issue that has to be talked about. If you’re feeling like this, imagine how the munchkins are feeling. They’re just excellent at picking up moods that you think you’re hiding.

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Many ppl view their friends as family bc they have a closer relationship with them. You’ve been married for 10 yrs, has this been discussed before or is it a new issue that’s bothering you? Either way, it’s important to talk about and talk through it. Maybe approach it more from the stance of what you need / want instead of what you’re feeling he may be doing wrong. Not at all suggesting you let it go unaddressed since it’s something that bothers you, but try to keep in mind all of the good he does…does he take care of your kids / you? Is he a devoted father / husband? Does he work hard? Etc
Talk to him :green_heart:

If his friends are coming over, isn’t that his way of compromising and sending time with everyone most important to him? He doesn’t need to ONLY care about his family, if he is ditching his family for his friend yes that is an issue, but to be mad he’s including them in family activities makes you the one in the wrong

I feel for you my husband’s friends hate me… they are all single living with mommy and daddy still and when we got married he’s too busy working or being friends with family guys aka my gfs husband’s and he made new friends who have families. But I am very social person and love having people over and hosting I just didn’t like him hanging out with people who hated his growth as a man and father

I dealt with this for years…we are currently in the process of a divorce!
Hope things turn out better for you!

No you are overacting.let him have his outlets, its very important, just like if you wanted to. Just because you are comfortable staying home, doesn’t mean he has to. Its very important to work on a marriage, not own it. Get in there and do things with him, or sit back and be content just doing what you do.

Nah that’s not wrong. Learn 2 kick it for a lil bit then go home with your family… Family 1st over everything period

Was this an issue prior to marriage? If so and it wasn’t discussed how you wanted things to change when you got married, this is partially on you. To think he would just change his ways with no discussion is an unrealistic expectation. If it wasn’t a problem before why would he think it would be after marriage? It seems like honest and open communication on expectations was never had

Sounds to me like he’s having an affair and uses his friends as a front

NO YOU ARE NOT WRONG. Family first. If you are not willing to put family first then you should not start a family. Your husbands friends sounds like they have no ambition in life. Kick them out. If your husband wants to behave like a single man too, then kick him out too. If your husband was party boy that just wants to hangout with his friends before you got married, then you can’t change him now. Good luck.

When his friends come over, go out by yourself or with girlfriends. Use that time to just focus on yourself.

Sounds like you both have really different ideas of what you want your lives to look like. He wants a life where his friends are part of the family and you want quiet family time. Looks like you both need to sit down and think about what you both what from the relationship.

I’d say set up one night every week for family night whether it’s staying in and doing movie night, or board games or pizza night. And then he can have time with his friends as well. That might be a good compromise for the both of you

This is the problem with relationships now… Zero boundaries or communication between partners. So when something, like this comes up, there is more stress put on the relationship.

Personally, as long as there are no signs of cheating, I don’t see what the big deal is.