I found out my fiance is going to propose this Thanksgiving in front of all of our friends and his family… I don’t want some cheesy proposal on a holiday…I want something more intimimate and this is how I have always felt about it…is it wrong of me to tell him i know so he doesnt cause a huge scene?
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Yes it’s wrong. He’s planned something so special that includes all of your loved ones. Don’t make him feel like it’s not good enough.
And THIS is what HE wants. Doesn’t that matter?
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So if you hadn’t found out, would you say no, because its not the way you wanted? Its his choice, if you want something different you do it then. But I’m assuming thats not how you’d like it either. Really hoping you’re not like this with everything, praying for your future husband. Good luck.
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If you expect a proposal to be a certain way then you get down on one knee… just saying 
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Yes you are wrong…this literally isn’t only about you, it’s a special moment for him as well.
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I’d let him choose where/when to propose. It’s him proposing so it’s not really up to you…. Let him plan it and make it special 
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Girl he’s proposing, let him be! I swear if I were a man this kind of behavior would make me not want to propose .
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I mean, it’s not really your call unless you propose to him.
You can go ahead and say something but I would be 100% certain he’s not going to propose again.
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Since this says “this thanksgiving” and it is now thursday (my time). I’m assuming you either mentioned it or it had already happened.
Would love an update as we aren’t much help at this point
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You should be grateful he’s proposing and I think that’s romantic you shouldn’t be so ungrateful maybe he should rethink even marrying you
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Would it be wrong if he told you he wanted to get married in private because he doesn’t want to say all them cheesy vows and KISS infront of all the friends & family too?? For the love of god…
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Control much ?? If I were him I’d run !
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Be happy that he’s willing to show u off now if he didn’t want his family and friends to know I’d be questioning.
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If you guys have never talked about what you’d want and wouldn’t want in a proposal then you probably aren’t going to work out anyways. My husband knew I wanted a private proposal and I got dinner and candle light and an intimate setting on a special day to us. He knew it would make me uncomfy to do it publicly. That’s a convo you guys should’ve already had if you are thinking about marriage.
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If you always felt that way then you should’ve made it clear to your partner BEFORE getting to a point of marriage. That being said, if it’s already planned are you really about to bridzilla the proposal? HOW the proposal goes shouldn’t matter as long as it’s from the person you want. Perfect the wedding the thing you can control.
And while you’re at it I’d HIGHLY recommended learning how to accept when things don’t go your way. This made me think of bride wars and her attacking her bf so she could have the wedding she always wanted.
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After reading this I’m not sure if your bf should even propose. You’re lucky most girls want a guy that would even propose.
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Yes you’re wrong and sound ungrateful. Dude should run
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Probably something you guys should have talked about. However you’re not wrong for not wanting to be proposed too Infront of everyone.
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Also love how you say “soon to be” like you plan to say yes regardless of how it’s done.
If a holiday proposal infront of family is cheesy I’m scared to what your idea of extravagant would be 
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How about talk randomly about how you’d want it… so he would know.
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Boy nothing like being ungrateful hope he doesn’t Marry you at all
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I really hope he doesn’t ever propose to u or u say no because this is really selfish of a person
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Tell him so he can get away from you and not make a mistake by proposing. At the end of life all that crap doesn’t matter. As long as he loves and takes good care of you.
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seems someone can’t keep a secret if they told you of HIS Plans.? Seems if thing are getting serious bewteen you, You’d have already mentioned to him what your Dream Proposal would be?? and the kind of ring you have Dreamed of recieving also? So You won’t be disappointed if he gives you a ring that he can “afford” which might be “Cheesy” In YOUR Eyes? PS Yes I Would tell him so he won’t embarass YOU… Maybe he will Re think his intentions for now??
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WOW the man cares about you enough to want all your loved ones around to celebrate after proposing. I wouldn’t say a thing because you probably won’t be getting another proposal. SMH 
It’s past Thanksgiving so what happened? Did you accept the proposal?
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You’re the red flag he should run
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Are you trying to wear the pants in the relationship unless you are the one asking then you have no say where he does it
Yup your WRONG. Why make it all about you. He’s proposing to YOU so suck it up buttercup. Sounds like a entitled pre- bridezilla in the making. Run man run away as fast as you can
Wow just wow ! Be thankful he ever wants to propose to you. Nowadays guys don’t even want marriage. You seem to be too entitled.
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If I were him and you said something about it you would not be getting a proposal from me and I would reconsider being with you
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Wtf?
Be happy someone wants to marry your high maintenance ass at all 
Bridezilla before you’re even engaged…
Ick
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Uhoh…high maintenance warning!!!
Don’t get your hopes up he might not go through with it. Say nothing and accept it.
So ungrateful I hope he change his mind and find a woman more gracious and deserving. He need to run
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I think that’s selfish. Yes I wanted a special proposal with candles flowers and all that. Instead I was on my 30 min lunch break as a nurse in scrubs in the parking lot of my agency job. 
it’s one for the books. Now in wouldn’t have it any other way !!!
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I would not take this special moment away from him. The thoughtfulness and planning that he has done to do this in his OWN special way no doubt means alot to him. I would smile, cry, and act surprised. Give him this moment! But I do understand your feelings also because I don’t like public displays of things between me and my husband, I prefer more intimate settings. Best of luck!
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Wrong just wrong. Whoever opened their mouth was wrong. You act surprised and either accept the proposal or not. But you don’t get to decide when, how and where.
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I accidentally saw a receipt for my engagement ring that my fiancé had hidden away. I never said anything, and waited patiently… then I pretended to be surprised when he popped the question. I didn’t care about the proposal or the lack of surprise one bit, all that mattered to me was that we were choosing to spend our lives together 
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I say, if you want perfect, do it yourself. Otherwise appreciate the fact that he loves you enough to want to marry you. And what do you mean, “you found out”? Are you going through his things? That’s unhealthy and controlling. Maybe you should just say no, so he can find someone who appreciates him and his proposal. Let me guess, the ring isn’t up to your caliber either.
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I got proposed to in the walmart parking lot. I loved every second of it. I think you’re being selfish
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While you may have always dreamt it one way, he may have dreamt it another. He is the one putting himself out there to show his love and commitment to you. The marriage and wedding won’t be just for you. It is for him too. Pick your battles. Is it worth crushing him for you to get an ideal moment? Weigh out the pros and cons before you make a decision.
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Grow up! Poor guy has a long road ahead of him if he actually does marry you.
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Tell him you know. So he doesn’t propose. You sound ungreatful. Hes obviously choosing to pick a time family is already going to be gathered together and wants to suprise you in front of loved ones. As everyone else has said, if u want it done a certain way then you propose to him. Have you dropped hints about your perfect proposal? If not then how can you be upset? You should just act like you dont know and be happy when he does it. Or you can tell him you know and he may try to find another time.
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I agree with what has been said in other comments… If you want it a certain way, make that happen yourself. He’s putting himself out there in front of friends and family. Let him have this, as the wedding day is usually more for tje bride anyway. I wish the two of you all the best, but your attitude about this seems a little foreboding…
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Women given your reaction. Sounds like your not ready. You should talk to him about any future proposals and tell him before you break his heart in front of a bunch of people. Just saying!
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If you wanted things done your way, according to your plan than you should propose to him. Or you can appreciate that you have a man that loves you and has planned something special and life changing. Pick your battles and focus on the big picture.
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You sound ungrateful, he’s taken the time and effort to plan a special proposal surrounding family which means he cares enough about you to want to do something special and memorable. If I was him I’d second guess my decision
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Shouldn’t this have came up in conversation before this point? This sounds controlling and bratty. Maybe he wants this? Maybe this is what he thinks is what you want? Maybe he thinks it’s the best way to do it? Maybe you should say no because it’s not perfect in your mind… all of this is trivial because it should have happened by now. But you sound like a child
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If it’s something you really didn’t want why wouldn’t you have told him that already? My fiancé has always known not to propose on a holiday. I told him many times while we were dating
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You are wrong. You need to let him do it his way and act suprised. Afterwards you might suggest a little get away for just you 2.
How ungrateful. You should be happy with the way he proposes or he should run
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Uh you do realize if you mention you know he’s going to propose, he most likely won’t at all. It would ruin the whole thing and he’d just give you the ring
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I’m pretty sure if you tell him not to propose like that he’ll not propose at all. And possibly end the relationship cause if you’re gonna be ungrateful about a proposal what else will you be ungrateful about in the future
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My proposal wasn’t romantic at all! We was 18 and pregnant and his family said we had to get married so one night after the dirty he asked me if I would marry him and I said yes. It took a bout a month or so and he comes home with a set of rings bought from the pawn shop and he took me to the room and gave me the box with the engagement ring and wedding band in it and said “Here I got you a ring” lol there was no down on one knee or anything romantic but we have been married for 16 yrs now 
If I was him I would RUN RUN which I hope he does ! Very umgrateful
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Bet you will shame him for the ring he chose too. 
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I saw something once that said “what messes us up most is the idea in our minds of what “it” is supposed to be like”, a lot of times people talk about this stuff before it happens so the dude knows but I’d just be happy the man you love wants to commit his life to you. When you think about it, it doesn’t really matter how he proposes as long as he does. My husband planned to take me to dinner and make It all special because he knew I wanted something intimate but he got my late mothers ring from dad (because we talked about it and I expressed that would make me happy to have that ring and I did not care about an expensive new ring) and he got super nervous and was red and sweating and just got down on one knee of our bedroom before church. It was so cute.
Maybe it’s not you he is proposing to:rofl:
don’t be a debbie downer
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Wow… kinda hope you say something and he decides not to propose 
poor guy, he’s probably been so excited about surprising you in front of y’all’s loved ones and you’re just being selfish and thinking about yourself
I absolutely would not want to be proposed to in front of friends and family at all. To me, proposals are intimate things and should be done in private. I would just mention how it would be something you wouldn’t like at all if you don’t feel comfortable just telling him you know
Maybe just mention the fact that you wouldn’t like a proposal like that casually. Most guys don’t take hints but they listen if your mentioning something that is definitely pertaining to what theyr about to do lol.
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Your question says a lot about you. He would be better off with another woman. Sorry, not sorry.
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How foolish would you feel when he says " What? Why? No! I’m not planning to propose to you. Oh, hell no!" It could happen and justifiably so!
Let him have his moment. Are you just angry because it’s not what you imagined?
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I know I’m probably the only one who wants to know how it went since its after Thanksgiving already
So tell us. What happened
Yikes. Sounds ungrateful. Poor guy
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He needs to bail, quickly.
Oh heavens…What happen to being Thankful n Overjoyed???
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Very selfish. You need to care about how he feels. Honestly he should run!!!
Propose to him before Thanksgiving . It’s not just about the bride , it’s the grooms day too .
Yeah ur definitely not marriage material
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Leave him to it you are not meant to know
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Yes tell him…. So he can run Lol
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I’d just bring it up on casual conversation to be honest. I’m not one for big things like that either
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You are a big red flag…. It’s “supposed” to be a secret and however he plans it….
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I saw something once that said “what messes us up most is the idea in our minds of what “it” is supposed to be like”, a lot of times people talk about this stuff before it happens so the dude knows but I’d just be happy the man you love wants to commit his life to you. When you think about it, it doesn’t really matter how he proposes as long as he does. My husband planned to take me to dinner and make It all special because he knew I wanted something intimate but he got my late mothers ring from dad (because we talked about it and I expressed that would make me happy to have that ring and I did not care about an expensive new ring) and he got super nervous and was red and sweating and just got down on one knee of our bedroom before church. It was so cute.
I saw something once that said “what messes us up most is the idea in our minds of what “it” is supposed to be like”, a lot of times people talk about this stuff before it happens so the dude knows but I’d just be happy the man you love wants to commit his life to you. When you think about it, it doesn’t really matter how he proposes as long as he does. My husband planned to take me to dinner and make It all special because he knew I wanted something intimate but he got my late mothers ring from dad (because we talked about it and I expressed that would make me happy to have that ring and I did not care about an expensive new ring) and he got super nervous and was red and sweating and just got down on one knee of our bedroom before church. It was so cute.
He better run and quick!! You sound so vain and ungrateful!
Damn girl it shouldn’t matter how it’s done he wants to do it his way. Just be happy that he wants to marry you, controlling much?
Lol well maybe it isn’t for you… Who knows
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Ungrateful cow I really hope he changes his mind
I hope you told him so he would think twice about proposing to you.
… the wedding is almost always about thw bride. Let him have the proposal…
Cheesy??? You sound like a very judgmental and selfish individual to me. Be proud he loves you and finds you worthy of becoming his bride. The venue doesn’t define anything other than he is feeling proud and excited to ask you to marry him and probably feels in front of family and friends is perfect since a gathering of all at one time in one place isn’t a common occurrence. Wait until he hears that you called his sincere intention “cheesy” you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t run for the hills 