My daughter told me (aged 5) that daddy’s girlfriend (whom I’ve never met aside the back of her head but that’s a whole other issue) bought a Father’s Day present and a card for Our daughter to give to him. Obviously I didn’t find out until after he had dropped her off. I feel … annoyed by it, and upset. I can somewhat understand the gesture as he never bought anything from our daughter to gift me on Mother’s Day, and my family did that for me with her instead — so he probably assumed I wouldn’t bother in return, but I don’t give to receive. But I really think (considering he basically talks through her and I’ve never had a conversation with her) that this was out of line. Am I wrong for feeling this way? And should I say something, if so, how?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it wrong that my exes girlfriend gave a gift to our daughter to gift to her dad?
I feel like she was trying to do something sweet and there was nothing wrong with this. This had nothing to do with you so I’m not understanding why you’re bothered. If you have any concern it should be why is your child around someone you’ve never met?
There’s literally nothing wrong with this. You have other issues with her…if those were resolved this probably wouldn’t even be on your radar
I don’t see the issue. It was a nice gesture, and something sweet to do.
Let people celebrate Father’s Day in their home the way they see fit. That includes her dad- it’s perfectly acceptable that this girlfriend made sure his Father’s Day was nice by involving HIS daughter. You don’t have to be part of the equation-
Confused on what the problem is exactly? As long as this woman treats your kiddo right, this is just petty.
As a stepmom, last two years I have been buying Father’s Day presents for him from the bonus kids because she didn’t get anything. I don’t see anything wrong with it, it’s just a nice gesture. ￼Father’s want to special treatment too, they’re not good at expressing what their expectations are but they do sometimes want presents.
You sound jealous and petty. Be thankful she has someone who teaches her to show appreciation and respect for her father. This is so childish!
Sounds like you are jealous of her.
The only issue I see is you trying to make an issue
whats the problem? she is supporting your daughters relationship with her dad? is it wrong you feel that way, absolutely
Leave it alone.
Yes, be glad she did!
You sound more upset that you havent met the other female. Cus theres no other issues here. Petty betty
Nothing wrong with it at all. You might want to work on your jealousy before it eats you up
Definitely nothing wrong with it at all. Sounds like shes a nice person. Maybe you should meet her. Only time you should haveva problem if your child is in danger thats it
It was really nice of her
He’s an ex and not your responsibility anymore. His new spouse can and will do these types of things and you can feel however you want but can’t do anything about it. She’s being nice to your kid so leave her alone.
It’s not wrong at all. When you date someone do you think he should be upset if your boyfriend took your daughter to get you a Mother’s Day gift? Pick your battles! It’s also not his responsibility to take her to buy you a Mother’s Day gift either. That’s what happens in situations like this.
OK so your family can buy you a mothers day gift off your daughter, but his gf can’t buy him a fathers day gift from your daughter?..double standards, and crappy ones at that! She was trying to be nice, if you weren’t gonna do it so what if she did!?
I don’t understand the issue
Wow. She did something nice that involved your child. Sue her!
You should grow up and quit being so petty.
I’m new in a relationship with my man of 7 months mother’s day came when we were together he has a child with mother I went out and got mother a lil present from child candle card, kids don’t have money, it’s just the thought. And btw mom hates me but oh well I’ll continue to be nice.
You are wrong. Be thankful
Unless it puts your child in danger or hurts her feelings. Mind ya business. It probably made your daughter feel good which is why she told you. You sound like a bitter ass bm.
I understand why you would be upset, but you don’t really have a right to be upset. Instead of complaining on here about the situation, address the women herself. But first I’d give your self a chance to meet her before just being ignorant about the situation.
Be glad she did now you didn’t have to do it
He’s always going to be the father of their child…. If it was nothing inappropriate, leave it alone
I dont see an issue. It’s no different then me getting a gift for my fiance and getting my 9 year to give it to him(I have one from previous, one together and due in August with our second together). But this Father’s day I got hubby a little something from the boys and got my oldest to give it to him along with the youngest(soon to be middle).
I dont see an issue with what she did
Why is it out of line…she bought it and gave to her to give to her father…why does this affect you at all🤦♀️
I read bitter baby momma
Omg, is this for real? Why do you care? And when someone is doing something nice for your daughter and her man, you stay in your lane and appreciate it. Gtfoh, your personal feelings about who he dates are irrelevant especially when he finds a good one who does good things that are actually appropriate. BM’s like you are bad for the mental health of the people in your life. This is annoying af. Seriously.
Lmaooooo sheesh hopefully I never gotta deal with this level of petty
OP getting lightly sauteéd, seared on both sides and roasted at 350°
You’re the issue. Accept there is someone else in your daughters life and she is showing your daughter how to appreciate her father on Father’s Day.
I don’t see why this is such a big issue. Your daughter got to give her dad a Father’s Day gift. I think it was really nice of her to do so. You obviously didn’t make an effort to provide a gift for her to give him.
You are wrong. I don’t see the issue. It was for his daughter to give to him… what’s wrong with that?
Is this a joke?! She spent her own money so your daughter could feel special to give her daddy a gift for Father’s Day and you’re on here making a big deal out of it?! Let them celebrate her dad however they want. I’m sure your daughter was over the moon to do something special like that
Actually, I would personally like it. For me, it shows she is at least slightly invested and cares.
Nope nothing at all wrong with that. Appreciate the fact she went out of her way to do something like that for your daughter. My theory has always been your good to my kid(s) I will be good to you. So it’s obvious she cares for your daughter to have done that. So appreciate the gesture.
I don’t see anything wrong with it, Mother’s Day my ex and his girlfriend take my daughters to get me something and Father’s Day my boyfriend and I take them to get something for their dad,
So he isn’t your partner ??? How is this an issue
I bought gifts for my ex even though he wasn’t my child’s father. That being said, his son was my bonus child and I celebrated his father because he deserved it. How they choose to celebrate in THEIR home, is not your concern.
I buy my ex’s girlfriend a gift for mother’s day because she is their step mother and my ex won’t think it’s of such things. It’s a beautiful thing she did for your ex from your child be grateful he has a nice person in his life to share that life with your child
This is a maturity issue on your part……
That’s petty as hell. You don’t own/can’t control someone or their partner just because you had children together or were once married or dated. This is way too small and petty to get any type of concerned about. Show your child a healthy example of co-parenting.
You know what? My husband and I split last summer and his new gf took him to a cabin for fathers day…without our kid. Something we couldnt afford to do when we were together because he wouldn’t work, I was annoyed and now that we got back together i still get annoyed over it. and we still cant afford to go to a cabin
Its not quite the same but id probably be annoyed too (I wouldn’t say anything to any of them and when I felt a bit better I’d talk with my child and ask what they enjoyed about the experience and encourage them for showing love for their dad)
Umm yeaaaa, probably still smashing it
I don’t understand what she did wrong.
I don’t get what part of this made you annoyed. ?
You have no right to be upset she was being nice and allowing your daughter to celebrate fathers day with her daddy so you should at least be grateful for that
no tf?? It’s his daughter… You’re weird.
None of your damn business ffs get over urself
As a wife with a bonus daughter it is my responsibility to take our kids out to buy dad any presents.
You need to let go of whatever you have against the girlfriend because she’s just trying to do something nice for her man
You are petty and this is what’s wrong in this world….jealous, angry people that don’t try to push for a positive coparenting situation- no matter how it looks. Who tf cares if she is the girlfriend??? Go pick another battle because this one is dumb. If I was the girlfriend and I read this I would marry that man and one up in in every mom category just to be petty back.
Another jerk that can’t let yo if their past🤨
So you’re upset because the new girlfriend is trying to be a positive impact on the relationship the little one has with her dad by helping said child buy a gift? You weren’t going to do it. Someone had to. Make it make sense.
Don’t let other people have control of YOUR emotions.
What a nice gf! I take my daughters shopping for their dad and I have family that does the same with their kiddos, it’s doing whatever it takes to make the kiddos feel good. Hell I even text my ex happy father’s, happy birthday and on all major holidays. It’s really something that comes with maturity and once no one is bitter. Good luck hope it works out.
You shouldn’t care what they do hun
Did he break up with you and this is you being petty? You should be grateful she’s trying to build a relationship with your daughter
Odd one out here. It’s a problem that you’ve never met her, and she has such involvement in YOUR child’s life. A person you don’t even know. I would be upset too. Is the gesture itself bad? No, she wanted to be involved and show care, and that’s kind. But it’s a red flag that you have no idea who she is. Yes, your ex is your ex, but if you have a child together then you ABSOLUTELY still have involvement there. There needs to be a relationship established between you and the new girlfriend.
No you shouldn’t be proud she is actually being there for your daughter as you would hope . She’s stepping up witch is a good sign for you
No I don’t see it as a big deal
You didn’t do it but she did what’s wrong in that?
Leave your issues and insecurities out of reach for the kid.
So your ex is with someone thoughtful?? OH NO THATS NOT OK! see how dumb that sounds ?
You are being petty. Period.
Please grow up! I can only imagine the hell
This child goes through with your petty issues as to what someone else bought her daddy that literally isn’t with you.
Only thing you need to be concerned about when it comes to your EX & HIS GF is that if they are treating your child right
I think your issue is you feel like it was your place to do that but you didn’t because he didn’t so now u feel almost guilty like(might be wrong word). As long as your daughter was happy, you should be happy for her. When relationships ends, it’s all about the child nothing else. Your feelings are understandable tho but you can’t say anything, just grow from it and be happy your daughter felt comfortable to tell you.
Yup! You wrong!
No. I wish my BD had a gf that did that, would’ve saved me the time and $.
Yeah, you’re petty. The daughter might have even asked her. Honestly, she was just trying to do something for your daughter and you’re own ego is taking a hit so you’re making it about you.
I take my stepkids out to get gifts for my husband. And for their moms on Mothers day.
I get my bfs ex shit from her son like whats the iaaue
If he is your ex and has moved on, it’s nothing to do with u.
Clearly u knew the gf existed.
And u knew she saw your kid. Which would b the only thing you required to be informed of. But all the rest, let it go.
Dad got a gift. From his daughter. That’s all that mattered. I’d appreciate that she acknowledged their bond and respected it enough to help little one celebrate her dad.
Don’t complicate it
I don’t think its a big deal. It was a nice gesture. The end.
How is this out of line? It’s Father’s Day. She wanted to help her get him a present to celebrate. I think it was a very kind gesture for her as his girlfriend to do.
It’s an adjustment. Work through the feelings and change.
Tell us you’re petty & jealous without coming out and actually saying it
I’m genuinely confused. Your ex has a girlfriend. And she got something for your ex for Father’s Day??? And had your daughter give it to him??? So?
If I dated a guy with a child, I would also get him a gift for Father’s Day because he’s a father……. And yea it’s cute coming from the child, that’s what you do….
Truly I think you’re over reacting.
However, the one issue that would bother me is if I hadn’t met her, and she was in my child’s life. I would ask to set something up so you can all meet or go out for a pizza or something.
I think you need to take a step back and have a look at the perspective from your daughters point of view. If this was something that made her feel uncomfortable then yes then take it up with them, but I really feel that this is a bonding between a daughter and a father and his new girlfriend gets to help along the journey where possible be grateful that this woman is taking time out of her day to spend time and appreciate family moments yes it may hurt that you don’t get to be apart of it but it’s all about your child and the best interest for them I hope you find some clarity that you need.
Grow up it’s called being the bigger person for the child to see.
None of your business, you’re being mad for no reason
My bonus daughter asked her dad if he could buy her mom chocolates for valentines so she can give it to her. Think about your daughter… I bet it was for her more than anything.
Let it GO! This was not intended to hurt or offend you. As this GF is around your child, stop being petty!!! If she treats your daughter kindly then be kind too. Kids don’t need this crap.
Please heal so that you don’t project onto your daughter. This is immature on every level.
Yes you are wrong. Very very wrong. That would be like my ex getting angry that Mt husband buys a gift for my kids to give me on mothers day… be grateful your child has the influence of another caring woman in their life… and move on!!
I don’t see the issue here. I just think his GF wanted him to be recognized of Father’s Day. Would you think it was out of line if your boyfriend bought a Mother’s Day present for your daughter to give to you.
I normally don’t tell people they’re wrong for their feelings but you sound extremely bitter and yes, you are wrong to be upset over something that has ZERO to do with you
yes you are wrong take it as her making a lovely gesture
Giiirl stop it!!! You’re doing too much and clearly it’s not the present that bothered you. You have deeper issues that you should probably sort through!
I babysit for my son’s dad and his new wife and their new baby all the time. I help my son buy Mother’s Day gifts for his bonus mom - his dad’s new wife. We all get along great and i feel like my son benefits from it. I do agree with some people saying you should have at least met the new girl to see who is around your child but otherwise I see no issue.
This is definitely a you issue. Time to move on sis.
You can feel how you want, but Its not healthy for you or your daughter
This has nothing to do with you. This is about your daughter and her dad. His new gf bought him a gift and instead of saying it was from her she let your daughter be the gifter to bring him more joy.
Jesus it’s for your child to give to her dad she was out here being nice and here you are being a petty bitch