My 13 year old son has beautiful curly hair. Its thick and down his back. He is biracial and has attached a lot of his identity to his hair he loves wearing it down in a fro and pretty much refuses to style it. he cut his hair off for the 1st time at 3 and half, i am self taught how to braid and take care of his hair . Then he grew it back out and at 9 his father and i forced him to cut it off because of the issues we are having with him now, he doesnt take care of his hair, he hates getting it done but for example right now he has finally asked me to braid it . I agreed but his hair is literally dreaded underneath he has just been combing the top. He refused to sleep in a durag or bonnet , he has tons and tons of hair products. At this point im ready to tell him he has to cut it off or get dreads if he wants to keep his current length, but he acts like we traumatized him when we made him cut it when he was 9 . Like i said he has attached his identity to his hair. Would it be wrong to force a 13 year old to get a permanent hair style? Because hell let me braid it then the cycle of fighting with him repeats and im honestly just tired of it. Thank you for reading this long post lol
I went through the same thing with my oldest son amd daughter you gotta make them take care of it or threaten to cut it of that doesn’t work them do it
If he’s not taking care of it then what other choice do you have? Tell him either start taking care of your hair or you have to cut it.
Take him to a professional and see if they can show him how to style and take care of it himself. Maybe he has an issue of not knowing the right way to take care of it by himself. You’ve done an amazing job helping him, now he may need outside influence to get him to do it.
Why not take him to get it untangled and braided as he wants. It’s said that hair is one of the only things we have thats in our control and he should do.as he likes with it he’s not there about it yet it will come.
I would say yes. Get it detangled. Then join him in his hair care routine every day and make sure he does it correctly.
I’d take him somewhere to have them wah and detangle it. Have them braid it the way he wants it.
In my opinion if he isn’t taking care of it, then no it wouldn’t be wrong.
You any idea how hot and sweaty he will get sleeping in a durag you think it’s bad now put him a durag and it’s game over
If he wants it long, but refuses to take care of it, then he needs to cut it. He’s not responsible enough to do the work it takes for the long hair. IF he is like this at 13, he will continue into adulthood. It will affect the way he is perceived and his chances of succeeding in life and career.
Taking care of ethnic hair is a lot of work, if he wants to keep his hair long then get him involved in the process. Actually teach him how to do one or two things, tell him why you’re doing it and what he can do on his own to make things easier for next time. It’s important to do this without judgement, don’t blame him and tell him it’s his fault that his hair is dreaded, but explain that his hair is dreaded because it wasn’t taken care of, and show him what you mean by that.
My mom and I had a lot of problems over my hair when it got longer, it wasn’t until I was older that I realized she never showed me how to take care of it. Just told me what to do and expected me to know. But I was a kid, there was no way for me to know if she didn’t teach me