Believe me,the day will come,that you’ll want him to go camping for a week,even 2….…let him be,while things are good.It’ll all change soon enough.
You better think hard about this person. You’re in for heartache & hurt, & then anger. He isn’t into committing to you, your kids, or a baby.
In your relationship, you want and need a partner, a friend and a lover….not raising a man-child. Set some boundaries with him and literally tell him you need a Man in your life and you can want that man to be him. But if he cannot grow up and be mature and prioritize his family first, then it’s time to move on.
Once a week otherwise tell him on ya bike
Why text? He should be calling u.
Idk it should be family first and friends second. You’re going to be living together and he has to be prepared to share the responsibility of all four kids. Not just the one he is the biological father to. He has to grow up and realize that isn’t normal
Sounds like he’s cheating on you.
Sounds like my ex.At the end I felt I live alone and worst was that he was cheating me also.
You sure he’s with his mates? My ex was with his mates and at the gym every other night, always came home to me he was always on the phone ringing and texting but lived a double life had 2 kids with her and got married!!!
He’s not ready to step up and clearly not mature enough to raise a family. You can do better than wait for him to grow up and there is a slight possibility that he’s a cheater and a liar, at age 32, for those who’ve matured enough friends are not that important but building a stable family is. For some, not all.
I am feeling like he’s in a relationship with you and someone else too. Just my gut feeling.
If I am reading this right, he is going out with his friends the weekends you have the kids and weren’t able to spend time with him and/or maybe there was an issue with him being around when the kids were? If so, up until this point he has done nothing wrong. You are now pregnant with his child and moving in with him which indicates that whatever issues may have existed before with him being around when the kids were is nill, he will now be responsible for those kids as well as the one on the way. It may take some time for him to adjust and he shouldn’t be cut off from his friends, you will probably need to cut him some slack while he learns what is takes to go from bachelor to responsible for 4 kids. Congratulations on the baby and Good Luck!
You are the only 1 my dear,he is living the double life and i wouldnt be suprised if he is married and sharing the time between u and his wife
This man is literally leading a double life and I would not be surprised to find out that he was already in another relationship with more children
Controlling already! You knew his routine before you got yourself pregnant and involved with him.
He’s bought you a house… but you only see him 2-3 times a week because of your kids you’re not making sense but you’ll be living happily all together?
Sounds like he’s already married
What’s your back up plan if it does not work out? If he is paying for the house and your name is not on the deeds, you need a contingency plan
It does sound a bit that you want to control him. Yes you need his support and vice versa, but don’t try and rush things too soon because you’re not married. Living together don’t give you rights either. I’m not sure if you’ve met these friends, but dont put all your eggs in one basket. I hope he steps up as a father and stepfather and things will change. However don’t allow you’re expectations to cloud you’re judgement.
So you only see him 2-3 a week cause your kids, so how is it going to work moving in together?
He has another family. . Not friends
It sounds like he’s cheating.
Sounds to me like a regular scheduled child visitation. I don’t know about cheating, but his "friends " just might be helping him cover-up children hes not telling you about. Get more info about where he is going, etc. Proceed with caution!!!
U may be having his first or second child… pretend you don’t know
He’s already committed
Have you spoke to said friends that he’s supposedly hanging with?
The question is what is he doing at his pals ALL weekend? If he is on the sesh then yeah sack him off but what else is he doing there all weekend?
It’s not going to stop so you better decide if that’s the life you want.
Man I wish they did follow-ups on some of these stories! I really would like to know how the wife reacts when she finds out about the second life he has started with the new girl!!
Hmm… sus. But on the other hand his mates were there well before you were. And some friends are more like family then friends I think you need to talk to him maybe ask him what he’s been doing with them. Do you take interest in his life? If not maybe he’s also seeking some support from them. You sound quite suffocating.
You can’t tell him he can’t see his friends! That’s controlling and toxic you both need to grow up
Look if the house is under your name too. That by itself is a win, just incase there’s problems in the future because of his behavior and God forbid u end up splitting at least u have a place for all your village. And if it’s only under his name you are screwed.
He’s choosing friends over you…there’s something wrong. Especially when he says “I rather be with you”. Ok, then what’s the problem? Time to start digging deeper cuz things aren’t adding up for you!
Sounds like he needs to grow up!
He bought you a house only to stay in it 1 night a week some weeks surly not… maybe it will at stop when you move in together it’s a bit strange
u ever tried to go with him with his friends… do u face time with him… just saying seems funny to me… like he maybe living a double life…
Haha yeah that’s not gonna change
If you try changing him it’s not going to work, be great full for what you have, just saying
Personally I would say he has a second life ie another woman. Take it From someone who it has happened to and never suspected a thing. Mine ex husband would say he was working every other weekend when he eventually got found out he had been living a second life with this woman and was engaged to her and promised her the world . I totally trusted my ex and never questioned it but now If I meet Anyone that regularly disappears routinely I would be questioning things. If he is genuinely seeing his mates and has always done since you meet him then I’m afraid you it’s likely you either have to except this as you already knew he did this or walk away. Don’t try stop him from seeing his mates as he will only end up resenting you and it will never work. Good luck and hope it works out for you.
Is he even with his friends is the question
He is leading a double Life!!! That’s why u hardly See him!
OMG…You sound really needy. Let a boy be a boy and play… just be there when he has finished playing, be quiet and speak when spoken to hush hush and feed him when he is there, no questions, no drama, end of…!
Sorry to say this as it will add some sadness but this so called boyfriend of yours is not ready for a marriage because honestly he can not leave you and stay for a week out with his friends knowing that you are pregnant and with ur situation u need him to be around. So dear i think it’s high time you start looking for something to do with ur life than relying on this selfish guy otherwise i don’t see a future in this
He bought a house???
Once u pop his baby out
He will stay more home
These days i avoid guys who have a really large circle of friends that they put first before me. I’ve learned the hard way that this type will never ever put you first. Even within their thoughts you will not be a priority. No way would I ever put myself in that position again. Ignore red flags at your peril, especially as you’ve got kids involved.
This doesn’t quite add up for me. I’m all for having my time with my friends and my partner to do the same and that won’t change. Something doesn’t sit right here. I think you need to look further into it. I’d be wanting facetime not just text messages. He will tell you what you want to hear so that while he’s off doing whatever he might be doing the wool is still pulled over your eyes. Don’t allow him to think its OK to put anyone before you. You’re his partner You’re his baby mum you should come first. There is no way I’d fall for the story he’s spinning you about being away with friends. I’d be very very surprised if that was the case. Know your selfworth and put your self first and don’t settle for less when you deserve more. I’d actually like to see a follow up on this. Good luck
U get to see him on few days a week because of your kids on your previous relationship. Then… u question him about going with his friends for few days? Sorry am not getting this set up.
Can’t his friends come round when kids are in bed and you can all chill together maybe have few drinks food make it clear it’s not the friends you have a problem with and just the time you wished he was with you x
Surely your kids have met this man you’re about to have a baby with and move in with??
How is it okay that you only see him a few days a week because of your prior commitments yet he’s in the wrong for making regular plans that don’t include you? sounds to me like you’re both just living your lives!
Also majorly confused by him not being around whilst your kids are there - what’s going to happen when baby arrives and/or you move in together? I’m not sure you’ve thought this through
Ma’am he has a whole other family
this is not a relationship, if he was serious he would be with you not his friends
He needs to learn how to compromise
Spend time with his boys when u have your kids and other commitments and then spend time together on the days ur not…
I got news for you. He might have someone else.
He has another family
Sounds like she’s going to be a single mother of 4…
Yep i think he is seeing someone else an u better think this throw before moven in together my husband did that well i finally had enough an found out he was cheating iam now divorice from him an doin much better without him better think about it an do some investigating
He’s not with friends…….
He has duel lives. Best for you to make a life, for you and your children.
So many people just assuming that this guys cheating
My partner used to go out with his friends all the time, things changed once I’d had our son. He realised that his “friends” were less interested in him when he didn’t have all the time to go out drinking with them
We now have a circle of friends together, that don’t mind out toddler being around. Anyone who didn’t like it, we left behind
Once you live together you’ll probably appreciate the break when the new born is here id definitely expect for him to be around more though
I call bs! None of this “story” makes sense. Maybe use your spare time away from your man to publish short stories
This is the part where you find out he’s been living a double life with another family and neither of you claim to have seen it coming or had any idea. Wake up. This is far from normal or acceptable.
If you go into a relationship and want to “change” the other one, you’re in for heartache.
One cannot force things, because if it’s forced it isn’t authentic. And don’t you rather want authentic?
How does going for a ‘few days away’ result to ‘a whole new family’ cmon people get some common sense. If she thought there was something going on then it would have been said. There was no concerns so dont go jumping in and putting poor thoughts and stress onto a pregnant woman🤦♀️ Maybe speak to him about it, see if he can lessen the trips to once a month, maybe just ask him to compromise for a while till the baby is older before he goes away for days on end. Tell him you will need his undying care and affection when baby comes. If he cant do this then your nor ready for a committed relationship hun. Hope everything works out for you x
He “texts” when he’s away for the weekend with his boys?!?! Chy stop tripping because he’d rather be with you right?!?!
Usually men like this are cheaters and secretly Gay … alot of down low men created travel groups to throw women off so they can do them in peace…that man using you for the family life to cover up his actions and it’s out in the open for you believe in your intuition because it’s right and yawl don’t @ me I give psychic readings men are known for having secret sex cults that travel
He has another family Wake up my sister. I don’t believe his story.
Have you ever seen his so call friends have you met them
I don’t get what the problem is just because u un relationship y dose that mean they need to be with u all the time lol and if he been like this all while u been togther then y try to change it now that should of been summit that was bought up before getting pregnant
2 words: Wake. Up.
Have you met any of these friends. Has he met your children. If not how has it got to the point of miving in together and a new baby in the way. Something seems off about this story
Wow. There’s a lot of very clueless comments on here. This guy doesn’t have any “friends.” He is probably married or has a baby momma and a whole other family somewhere. No guy spends 2-4 days away with friends. That makes no sense. For those of you taking up for this guy and saying this girl is insecure, controlling or whatever, you guys are missing serious clues right in front of your faces. Y’all are probably getting cheated on and don’t even know it because you think this man’s actions are “normal.”
What matters is how his behavior is making you feel. He needs to acknowledge your feelings.
Does he interact with your children at all? THIS is a BIG question for you to evaluate.
I seriously doubt that his “ buddy behavior “ will change once you all live together in this new house. He seriously sounds like a big kid who hasn’t grown up yet. He is getting ready to be a father, yet requires this much time with his friends? You have reason to be alarmed.
Make sure the house is in your name- He bought it for you, right?
Be realistic and understand that you may remain a single mother.
Prayers for you.
You’re having his baby and you’re buying a house together but are you two getting married? Is the house in both your names? Have you met his friends? Can you get family to watch your children one weekend so you can go with him and his friends away for the weekend? If no to any of these then RUN!
Just because he does that doesn’t necessarily mean he is cheating. People need to realise that not all men are the same. There are decent men out there. And I understand that when relationships go bad you need your friends because they’ve been there from the start. If you’re not happy with it then sit down together and have this conversation like adults and tell him how you feel. Then maybe you can come to some sort of middle ground. There’s so many people saying Run and he is cheating when that’s not always the case.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is my boyfriend too involved with his friends?
I’d say one day a weekend and a trip once a year is acceptable and if his friends cant accept that he has a family now then they arent his friends
Let the man have weekends away with his friends ofcourse not every weekend
It seems like a lot because y’all don’t live together. Once you move in together it won’t seem that way.
My boyfriend hangs out with his friends all the time. No trips or anything like that tho sometimes I feel the same way “at 38 years old youre still hanging out with your friends!?” I dont mind.
He might just need to grow up a little lol… he’s 32…. You have three kids tying you down he doesn’t have any yet so he had the freedom. Especially if his friends aren’t married with families either.
Just don’t expect him to change just because you move in together! He will likely only get worse because he now knows you accept it! He has no intention of changing!
He sounds like an adventurous guy. See if there’s a compromise you can make. You don’t want to suppress who he is, and honestly it’s not a terrible schedule. I agree with you though that he should be giving you more time especially while you’re pregnant and the months after birth. This is a balancing act y’all gotta do together. Compromise, everyone is a little happy, everyone is a little upset. It’s fair though.
Okay, you knew this and you chose to have a baby by him. Now you pregnant and you want him to stop? I doubt it. Every adult needs social life, he told you straight up that his friends are important to him, meaning you are not his priority. I might sound mean, but he keep things real with you and you thought by moving in together and have a child will change……. I hope so, will see. Make some arrangements, if he doesn’t change after the birth of your child, the. You have to think about y’all priorities. In fact, the question is: If you really want to move in with him? You don’t need that stress while pregnant. Ijs.
My fiances bestfriend is literally spending the weekend here this upcoming weekend and they spend from 6pm-10pm everyday together Friendships and relationships away from just YALL are important!
I wish my boyfriend would go on 2-4 day trips lol
My only problem this is y’all are having a kid Good news is to seems like there’s a compromise
A weekend trip every few months is fine but he’s taking it overboard to a point I wonder if he has a side piece. When you hit 30 you have to grow the fuck up and cut down on the partying. My in laws still party in their 60s all the time to the point they forgot my kids’ birthdays. My youngest son is very upset because he misses them and wants to see them but they’re never home. Is that what you want for your kids? A dad that’s never there? Give him an ultimatum. Grow up and be a family man or gtfo. He can still go out with friends every once in a while but this isn’t college ffs.
Why don’t you wait and see how things go when the baby is here? He may want to be home with his child.
What are his plans for when the baby comes?
You’re too controlling
Ok so I guess I’ll be the oddball opinion here but no that’s not acceptable. Sure hang out with your friends for the night, have a guys weekend or whatever here and there. But constantly no. If he wants to be with a woman with children and have a child than family should be first. Why do they have to go away every weekend. Why can’t they come over and hang out for a night - grill - watch a football game or whatever go fishing for the day or whatever it is they are into. But I don’t think if your limited to half a week he should be choosing friends over you
I think first and foremost see how living together goes and if he’s still being this way or worse give him alternatives like having the guys over for a night or once a month going away for the weekend or whatever the case may be. He may be different once y’all live together
You meet him like this, you got knock-up by him like this, you are fixing to move in with him like this, so WHY NOW is it a problem?
Why did you get with him if you knew you didn’t want that in a relationship? Why change someone…
It is , unfortunately, common, but most grownups with a partner (almost said wife!) spend less time with their friends and more time with family. Maybe because you aren’t his wife, he doesn’t feel obligated.
He needs to grow up ,
Man i wish my husband went away 7 days a week.
l notice a pattern in these posts…pregnancy then the husband/boyfriend seems more selfish instead of more attentive!
I stay with my boyfriend typically every other week, sometimes once a month… There are some nights he doesn’t come home until 10pm. Barley talks to me all day when I’m not there & MIGHT call me before bed… I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing until he decides to communicate with me(if he does)/comes home. I’d be happy he’s involved as much as he is… I wish mine was.