My sons dad got drunk and killed his own father and himself
Play positive mantras say them to him now and then… x
Therapy, therapy and more therapy. They have special bereavement counselors for children, it is imperative he receive help to cope with his loss and to process his emotions
You got this mama! Keep going down this path.
I’ve gone through the alcohol addiction and a father not being a father to that addiction and in my case domestic violence even though he didn’t pass away it was still a death so to speak , there’s lots of great advice from people in comments and so All I can add to that is lots of affirmation to yr son how much he is loved and his worth in yr life , if he’s only six years old raw memories will fade and new memories in his life will commence , be very careful the influences you bring in around him for the future , continue to be a positive role model and if you think counselling will benefit for him and yourself great but I found I had to work through it on my own .
I watched my sister die from cancer when I was 4. My dad died when mom was pregnant with me. My teen years I was very dark, went into a gothic phase, cut myself, talked about death a lot. Even as a kid I was obsessed with death and started experimenting with drugs at 10. I wanted to be liked by friends so I did messed up stuff to get attention.
Start therapy now. And maybe even meds in the future. For depression of course. I promise there is a lot to process for your child and they process it the only way they know how. Which they dont know how. Therapy helped my mom and me both. Get a start on it sooner the better. I will say I turned out fine. I’m a recovering addict and I work and have a beautiful family of my own. So keep the faith even during hard times.
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Try and find an activity that he absolutely loves that he can pour his heart into… maybe something he can get some anger out as well with… Taekwondo has great discipline on top of being able to get frustrations out. Also try the m&m game to help sort his feelings and try to push thru them in a more positive way!!
I have 3 sons with a man who choose drugs and passed from his addiction… this was extremely hard on them please DM me and I can send you info on a amazing counselor that changed everything for us
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Therapy for SURE. There is nothing wrong with thinking differently, as he is still young, we don’t know how our kids feel and what they go through. They do have feelings at the end of the day so instead take him to therapy for a little while and see if it makes him feel better, maybe try and talk to him and spend time with him and express to him that his father had a sickness that he could not conquer and he passed away but that does not mean nobody loves him(your son). Instead encourage him to maybe get into a sport or karate? 
I hope it all works out
Would recommend Kim Jordan. X
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Owen Stirling-fraser
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pray daily for him + love always
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Therapy and reassure him he’s great
Al anon would do wonders. 
I would give him therapy.
Definitely would set him up with a professional I don’t think anyone here would be the help y’all both need. Prayers tho!!! I hope u can find that right doctor for him. My son is 10 he didn’t lose his father to death but he lost him to drugs and prison his dad got locked up when he was 2 it’s been a long hard road but he’s alot better now but it wasn’t always easy.
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I have a son (10) who the school said attempted suicide in November. He had negative talk for a few years before this. We got him into private counseling and into a psychologist. He’s been on antidepressants for about 6 months now and he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. We still have bad days but now the good well out number the bad. They say ADHD with depression and anxiety underlying disorders. Best of luck!
You are his safe place he has gone through a lot and he is so little. My heart hurts for him. I am not trying to push religion at all but maybe pray with him and and tell him no matter what happens in life you are his safety he can come to you about anything and everything. Try to get more family and other adults who are willing to help and just let him know that he is not a bad kid and he is loved so much. I wish I could know you guys live in my town and I love to help I’m sorry you guys are going through this
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It doesn’t sound normal. I would find a different counselor and look into medication, he sounds very depressed the way he acts and talks.
Sounds like the whole situation was quite traumatizing. I would suggest looking into grief /trauma counseling for both you and your son.
He’s got big feelings and needs ways to express them safely and openly.
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During our divorce… I took myself & the kids to anger management class & a therapist. Best thing I did. Used my EAP through work. Good luck
Children grieve differently than we do and unfortunately because we are their safe place we receive the brunt of that grief and frustration. Keep with counseling and reassurance that it wasn’t his fault because of his fathers addiction and disease. Counseling, love and understanding is all you can do. I am so sorry you are going through this❤️ I lost my father to alcoholism as well as my children’s father being an active addict at the same time. I feel so much guilt from not being able to save my father but I hope that someday I can realize it wasn’t my fault and I’m an adult.
I am dealing with the exact same situation with my son; at first I was embarrassed by it because I am a counselor and I feel like I set my kid up for future mental health struggles.
You ARE his safe place and he knows you won’t leave him or stop loving him even if he says or does the worst possible thing. You make him feel safe enough to express anger, grief, shame, etc. Let him know that his emotions are normal and that you will always love him. I believe as he gets older and starts to connect the emotions to his father’s absence/death he will be better able to articulate that to you. Right now he just doesn’t have the words so it comes out as negative behavior or hurtful statements.
I would definitely keep him in counciling and maybe put yourself in too. You should have a safe place to filter out how you feel about the behavior your son has and his father was your husband too. I’m sure you have feelings of regret and hurt over the situation as well. Yes, you are probably his safe space and that’s why he lashes out at you, but maybe family therapy would help? Maybe sitting and talking with someone to address the situation and you can straight up tell him that his dad’s problems weren’t related to your son whatsoever.
Stay with counselling, and always reiterate his Dads drinking and death was a sickness his father had and nothing to do with him, and it does not mean he will also be like his father try to find the things you loved about him and tell these things to your son, give him respect and demand respect back, not by shouting etc but quietly saying I do not speak to you like that and you would like him to talk to you with respect too, above all it requires me ga patience, good luck 
No that’s not normal, wtf, get a new counselor for sure. He’s most likely seriously depressed, he needs professional help.
I agree, he acts out because you are his safe place x I would comfort him and show him understanding when he is in his dark space, the fact he comes to you to apologise speaks volumes x shows he has understanding, but needs a little time x it sounds like u have a very special child, who even at a young age, knows what happened to his father and sees the cause of his death x I personally feel, at least he is talking about death and how dangerous drinking can be, it’s a form of letting it go and not allowing it to eat away at him, try really listen to what he is saying, explain death is a part of life x my mother lost a beloved cat, which was the first death that my daughter experienced, I sat her down and explained Jade was now in Heaven, but when you find a feather, it was Jade coming to visit, and white butterflies are angels checking on us x to this day when my daughter finds a feather, she says look Jade has been here 
hope this helps x
Depression can affect anyone at any age. There are tools parents can learn to help with their children, talk to your family doctor & medical professionals. Keep him in counseling, find some fun hobbies you can teach him. Reassure him that his fathers alcohol abuse & death has absolutely nothing to do with him. Addiction is a sickness that is not contagious.
Very normal. I would rather have them talk bout it than keep it all in. MAy be just me but that’s how I feel and yes counseling’s great too and as long as can come talk to you about anything at any tine that’s very important! My son lost his grandmother and then 3 weeks later his grandfather on same side was very sad it’s been 5 years and he still talks about it like it was yesterday
My sons dad was very abusive and an alcoholic… his dad broke ya down for about 8 years… when I was finally able to get away for good this time, I made it my goal to work through the issues it had caused my son… and I know everyone’s situation is different… but what I have tried my best to do, is make sure my son knows just how amazing he is and how proud I am of him for all he does and actually talk to him about everything that he struggles through and make sure he knows just how much he is accomplished just by trying that day… … it honestly helps and he’s grown so much… the teacher love him, he’s smart and tries every day because he knows what the other option is… just work with your lil one and make sure that he knows you love him and are proud… say it in actual words and show it in huge hugs and just listen to them!!!
Be patient, and understanding. Four of my boys lost there dad to CF at a young age. They all talk about death alot both in mean ways and positive ways…I think that is just how they grieve. Today is there fathers birthday we are making him a cake. On the date of his death we do something to remember him by. There father wasnt the best during his last year of life and left us…help your child remember the good things. Until they are old enough…
My son is 17 and I’m still the one he takes everything out on I get so hurt I thought as he got older it would improve but it has not fortunately all I do is continuously tell him I love him and I’ll always love him and I’ll always be here for him
Maybe put him out for activities so he can connect with other children like swim lessons. Cub scouts. Leggo league. sports. Karate. Things to help him start interacting with kids his own age and also give him something else to think about and connection.
I lost my mom to cirrhosis when I was 16. I questioned my worth for a while. Why wasn’t I enough to save her? Therapy helped me process her death. I always recommend some kind of counseling when kids lose a parent because of how much it helped me. I went to a group counseling session for several weeks with my dad. I also used that topic as my speech for why the drinking age needed to be higher and not lower like many of my peers in high school wanted.
I’d look into talking to someone and start with pediatric dr
Im no expert maybe He may need intense counseling. Maybe Grief counseling.
of course not. children are inherently not normal
He needs to be told, over and over, that it’s not his fault. His father loved him but had a disease that he could not control. Tell him he is worthy to be loved, a wonderful boy, special to you, etc. Your love will heal him
Yes this Behavior is normal wen this kinda stuff happens and yes the child will take it out on you and others but also he said he is sorry afterwards you are his safe place to go to yes it’s normal and hold him wen this happens and tell him you are here far him anytime and good luck my son last his dad last February and I’m going throw this but it’s a different Situation and no my child ain’t seeing a Counselor bucse he is only 4 and was 3 wen he passed so I’ll pray far u and if u need a friend just send me a frends request and we can talk
My oldest was 6 when his daddy was killed in a car wreck last March… not being able to help your child is one of the most awful feelings as a mother… he was mad at me mad at the world and I almost was to the point of thinking he hated me… he started seeing a therapist through his school shortly after and to this day he still sees her… sometimes it’s easier for them to talk to other people about it better than it is for them to talk to us mothers… grief is an awful road to walk down and sadly it never ends… it has now been over a year and he still has bad days as expected but it took MONTHS for him to get back to a somewhat normal state of mind… the best advice I can give is to talk to him about it… be open not so much about the alcohol but about the good memories of his father… any kind of good little things he might enjoy to hear… even the smallest things can make them feel better… children love their parents regardless of their bad decisions in life but keeping his memory(the good parts) alive for him would be the best thing… that’s what we live off of in our household is the good memories… I also have two other children that were 4 and 1 at the time and he would take his anger out on them saying it was only his dad and not theirs… children don’t really know how to express hurt in their hearts… just show him you love him as much as you possibly can… little random hugs or I love yous or anything like that… good luck to y’all and I’ll be praying for y’all… death is a terrible thing to deal with when children are involved 
I would find a child psychiatrist. He is sad and if left unchecked it can be devastating to him and to you.
He’s witnessed a lot that is too heavy for him.
It’s normal but it’s also a sign of depression and unresolved trauma. He needs an actual therapist so he can learn how to feel through his emotions and then put them behind him.
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Counseling and therapist…i hope he comes around. Very hard. I feel for you. I have an alcoholic son.
Just love him. Tell him every day that you love him so he knows you’re not ever leaving him
Find a new counselor
Called old usually triggered by anxiety I was and am still this person. 31 years old.
Dont try to change it. Dont try counseling triggers it more. Let him be him/her. Like my mom trying to firce me to be be right handed.
Could be aspergers, or autism. See a Doctor.
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Sounds like OCD. Mention it to his pediatrician
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This sounds like you are describing my almost 4 year old girl. I’ve been asking the same questions on whether or not it’s normal. She’s my 4th child and I’ve never dealt with anything close to her.
Could be OCD but I have also heard of people having the strep virus and it going undiagnosed and them having similar symptoms… if this is new behavior I’d take him in to get checked just in case… if he has always been this way… most likely OCD!
How old? Some things have to be said multiple times. And just like I’m sure you like responses when you speak to someone, so does he. If he says I’m sorry, RESPOND, if he says I love you, SAY IT TF BACK. What are you mad for 
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This honestly sounds like OCD, but I’m no pediatrician. If it is concerning you, you could always call his doctor. No question is a stupid question, mama. They’ve heard it all
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Sounds like anxiety and ocd. My son was diagnosed 2 years ago. He memories videos and repeats then over and over. He would also walk in a circle and talk. I called it his brain dump. Trying to get everything has been thinking throughout the day out of his head.
Definitely talk to a dr about it.
Sounds like ocd but i would definitely make a appointment for then to run some test to figure out what’s going on
Sounds like how my son was when he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome with high functioning autism. He was 7 at the time. He would of been 23 this year but he passed away at 22.
5-16-2020
6-15-2020
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My grandson also does this. He was born at 26 weeks of pregnancy. He went through a lot of trauma but he started being ver active after her started kindergarten last year and saying things over and over. He does not play with other children. The doctors just diagnosed him with autism.
I would find a local mental health clinic… kids don’t “just grow out of things” they learn better. I don’t know where I would be without my sons therapist helping me understand why he’s doing what he’s doing so I can further help him. Reach out for the help! It’s sooooo worth it! 
Looks like you’re already self diagnosing it instead of talking to your pediatrician 
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Talk to your pediatrician and have them refer you to a developmental pediatrician.
Sounds like ASD to me
I’d ask your Dr to refer him to a phyc for testing. Could be autism.
He’s going to OT for help with emotions? That’s odd. I have a child who’s in OT for help with motor skills. They also see a SW for emotional issues.
This is not considered typical but also not something to panic about. I’d make an appointment with his regular doctor, explain your concerns as you did perfectly here. They will give you some surveys for yourself and his teachers and you just answer everything as best you can. Then the doctor can give you an idea of how to best approach this with your little one. You’re his best advocate and I commend you for reaching out for advice.
I have a step daughter like that. Meds was not the answer. Going to therapy does help though. I have also noticed that when she is depressed or anxious bout anything I tend to let her be. She is 20 years old and starting to outgrow it. You want to make sure that you help him at home also The doctor will tell you that. It isn’t easy but it seems if you leave him be for a bit like in his room or give him crafts let him just go at it and paint color it anything he wants to it. That is what my therapist said to me for her and she enjoys it. It seems to relieve the stress of every day life. Do take plenty of notes what the doctor tells you and work through it with him.
Sounds like a lot of OCD tendencies…I was diagnosed as a preteen. Its no fun and super frustrating so I would take him to be seen.
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My son repeats the same thing several times even after we acknowledge it. But therapy will work my son has very bad anxiety as well looking into therapy so he has things easier then I did
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My 16 year old had all these behaviors. He has autism. With a lot of therapy over the years he is very high functioning. He passed his permit test a week ago. Good luck.
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My grandson is the same way we’re still trying to get a diagnosis. One dr said ODD but we’re getting a second opinion
Have him professionally evaluated. It could be many things from aspergers to OCD to Tourette syndrome to a normal variation.
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Could be autism, could be something else. Could be a normal kid that needs extra love.
I would talk to his pediatrician and not fb doctors, no offense.
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Could be autism.They repeat and they like things to be done in the same way and they are not social in some cases not all cases …But he may just have ocd
Why don’t you take him to a good doctor. They’ll know.
Sounds like he is high functioning Autisic
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Does he have any caffeine intake chocolate, sodaetc.Does it make him more erratic orcalming.Worked for my boy.I ran him after school,8 times around the block on his bike 3 sets.You have to figure it out. It’s the best thing.
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Sounds like he could be on the autistic spectrum. Ask school to have him assessed by the educational psychologist.
“Normal” in my house, lol! My son has anxiety and is now taking Zoloft, this has made a huge difference. He still has his moments but they are not as often. (Age 7) He is extreme ADHD so combined he is a hot mess!
Also look into play therapy for the social areas.
My grandson was doing this 5 years ago when he was 4 found out his uncle was molested him have it checked out
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I was thinking autism, also. Definitely have him evaluated.
Sounds like OCD with panic attacks he needs to be seen…none of it sounds normal to me…
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I was gonna say it may be autism. Just guessing but prayers
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I think there’s too much into missing. How old is he, how long has this been going on, is he an only child?
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Can only imagine what you and all these loving mother’s are going through or has been through ! You have all my respect for what you did and continue to do. You and yours are in my prayers! Tomorrow will be better❤️
Take him for an evaluation. Sounds like he has several ocd tendencies and maybe be on the autism spectrum.
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sounds like he is autistic. get him tested…
Autism, get him tested.
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Similar to my grandson he also has Aspergers.
Could he have autism
Take him to a doctor
Take him to get an evaluation then u will know
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Watch food dyes, especially red and blue.
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Sounds like Aspbergers, a form of autism.
Total lly outgrew it.
Some of this sounds a lot like what I’ve been going through with my daughter. She developed severe anxiety and OCD tendencies which resulted in a case of dermatitis on her hands that required medicine (creams, lotions, and wrapping them in plastic wrap at night). Since then we’ve been to a therapist and she has officially been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. She is now of medication for both and goes to therapy twice a month. It’s not been easy but the changes have been drastic. Medication isn’t for everyone and as much as I tried to not go that route ultimately I made the decision that her mental well being out weighed any concerns I had about medicating her. She is still my happy, goofy little girl but the anxiety that had all but completely taken over her life is much more under control and she is better able to focus on her school work. Both her therapist and her psychiatrist have told me that she very well may end up being able to come off medication one day as she learns the coping skills she needs.
Listen to your gut and not anyone else talking in your ear. Don’t let anyone try and shame you if you decide to go the medicine route. At the end of the day you are the mother and you know what is best.
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Is ur son on a lot of electronics during the day?
My daughter has the same issues, and I believe it’s the electronics. I admit, my husband and myself let her have her tablet 24/7. She also has a switch and barely has any chores, and we don’t ask her for much.
She has a hard time expressing her emotions, and gets flustered very easily while she does homework or if we asked her to do anything…she would throw bad temper tantrum for hours when she doesn’t get something right away, or if she didn’t get what she wanted. she does not act that way towards her teacher, or in school in general.
We just signed her up for emotional support groups at school, and we changed some rules in the house with her electronics. New rule is when she gets home, every day she must cleanup her room, feed the cat and sweep the cats room. homework is next, than we eat dinner with no phones, or other electronics (adults included). After all responsibilities are done for the night, and only she did everything without giving attitude…she can go on her tablet and switch for only 30 mins to an hour.
I also made a “feeling chart” so if she doesn’t want to speak, she can at least point to a face to show me how she’s feeling.
Today, I saw an improvement just after 2 weeks. She knew her chores to do as soon as she walked in the house. When she got flustered with her homework, she fought with me for maybe 2 mins and decided to move on(instead of throwing a temper tantrum for 2 hours at almost 8 years old).
We relay in these electronics for our kids, that they only know how to “cope” with them. They can hide in them. And I believe that’s my family’s issue we are trying to fix. Just wanted to share my story with you. Your story made me feel I am not alone, going through similar things. 
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Hate to break it to you but there’s a very good chance he has either OCD or ADD or both.
There’s a small chance it might also be autisum. As there is some symptom overlap especially in very young children. I was 12 years old when they finally got my diagnosis correct as being autisum and not OCD or ADD. It’s going to be a long hard struggle but remember thousands of people have walked this road ahead of you and so this generation has doctors that have a much better idea what to do to actually help versus the s*** show dumpster fire of care I had. Despite the fact my mom was in the medical community and was doing her very best.
Mostly just be grateful you don’t live in the Middle Ages or this would have been a much bigger problem… a little bit of perspective every once in awhile can help you realize how small your problem really is.
Take each little thing one moment at a time. Do what you need to to give yourself time and space to decompress because dealing with a special needs child is going to drive you crazy. Set up routines for yourself to take care of your mental health cuz your kid needs you on your A game A lot more than they need you every second.
Hear that again taking scheduled regular breaks from your special needs child will give you and them better mental health because, it will give you a chance to rest so that you can do better for them.
That was my mom’s big mistake and it cost her it cost her badly. You’re new to this road please avoid that mistake. Set up healthy safe child care for your child so that you can get away 8 to 12 hours every couple of weeks and as your child gets older get them to the point where they’re okay with you being gone on overnight. Make whatever childcare Arrangements you have for them as happy and positive for them as possible. So it’s not a matter of the child feels like they’re being sent away because they’re a problem but rather they’re getting to go to some positive experience while mommy takes a little break.
There are a bunch of great special needs camps now and you need to look into those as early as possible to help your child start to form independent living adaptations and to prevent separation anxiety.
Believe me your child will thank you later that you take these steps as much as you possibly can.
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Sounds a lot like my. grandson! He is thirteen and has gotten worst going through puberty! He has adhd and extreme anxiety! He is suicidal since puberty! No friends! Talks a lot! Born with cataracts and is now losing his hearing! He was just diagnosed with high functioning autism with auto immune problems
First off, how old is he? 2nd, do the people asking these questions ever see the comments? 
Take him to see his doctor,it could be OCD.
I’m not concluding diagnosis, however you should have him checked to see if he’s on the autism spectrum. My grandson exhibited the same symptoms.