Is my child's father serious?

Sounds like you both need to sit down and talk. It sounds more like he wants his son tbh but that’s just my opinion.

Maybe try dating first… see how that goes. A few years down the road, if all is well then consider marriage again.

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start off by figuring out what you want/need in a relationship

then sit him down and discuss that with him

figure out your boundaries
ask him his boundaries

take it slow, there’s no rush, def date first :heartpulse:

sit down and have a calm conversation about it with him. Bring up your concerns about y’all not speaking unless he’s coming for a visit. Maybe go on one or two dates without the kids to see if y’all get along outside the kids.

Ask him. Talk about it. Begin seeing each other is that’s what you want. I think he’s probably became more distant because anytime he basically proposes the idea of marriage you laugh him off as a joke :sweat_smile:

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Sounds like he is only interested in being a father. Did you put his name on the birth certificate as the father ? Perhaps he is looking to establish a relationship with your child to claim custody if he considers going to court to protect his parental rights. If he was really interested in you, he would be talking to you and asking you on dates planning on spending time together. Move on to a new life with someone you are attracted to and fall in love with who respects you and loves you. Best of luck to you.

Its pretty simple. If there is a question on your mind, then it isn’t real.

I’ve seen mom and adult son relationships be rather manipulative, especially when a child is involved, so I’m sorry but just cause he told his mom, doesn’t mean anything. If he’s not reaching out to you more than every two weeks, and making you feel pressured when he is around, something is off. It’s a red flag girl. Sounds like a narssasist to me.

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If you’re not in love with him, don’t marry him. Just because you share a child, doesn’t mean you have to be married to him. I wouldn’t marry him. You can co parent and be friends. And going 2 weeks without contacting you doesn’t sound like he’s in love with you either. When you’re in love with someone you want to talk to them all the time and be around them all the time. He’d be taking you on dates. Maybe he feels obligated because you share a child but still, I wouldn’t.

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Tf is this? Uh… maybe try actually dating him first?

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Um…ask him…communicate

Cause you keep pushing him away by not giving a answer. I gave up on a girl that put me in the same situation. We were friends for 20 years, watched her have 2 failed marriages. I bought her a ring and asked her, didn’t show her the ring in case she said no. 4 years of her saying when I’m serious about it, she would say yes. The final time I asked her and she said when I’m serious, that time I had the ring on me, I threw the ring on the table and walked away. I have never talked to her since. When I guy asks, that is one thing we don’t joke about.

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I’d start with dating first.

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Actions speak loudly, words and just words.

Ask him if he’s serious and if he is you guys can date. No need to rush into things. You’ve got your whole life.
People shouldn’t get married just because they have children together. Some people aren’t matches.

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I would have a sit down talk with him and ask him about everything

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Plain simple talk to him with out his mother around just you to together and don’t jump to getting married date be couple go slow

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Use your head, girl…actions speak so much more loudly than empty words…HE IS NOT INTERESTED!

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Tell him you both need to date before you determine if you’re going to spend every day together.

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Talk to him, are you yourself ready?

Only question I have is do you love him. To me He is probably serious, hoping you will say something back of encouragment. A F.W.B became one of my most dearest relationships I’ve ever had. Only person that beats him is my Sweetie now.

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I’m sorry, he keeps telling you he wants to get married….and you don’t answer him…and then he gives up because he’s taking your non enthusiasm as no…and now your wondering why he stopped trying?? :flushed::face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Have you ever given him an answer? Did you tell him yes?

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Phones a two qay street. He showed you intrest to get married your noo taking it seriously so he’s probably thinking why keep trying younot interested.

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I’d pay attention to his actions and not his words when it comes to figuring out if he’s serious.

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Stop playing childish games. Have a serious conversation with him like adults. Date first, don’t rush. Do not have any more babies right now and not until you are in a healthy and stable relationship.
Get some therapy for your trauma because if you don’t get healthy mentally then you will keep having the same kind of abusive and unhealthy relationships and that’s not fair for your kids.

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Just ask him! We often think men are as intuitive as we women are, but that’s not true. They are very straightforward. You mentioned you’ve never dated before, so maybe you need to date him before making a decision. Just don’t move forward if you’re still not ready for a new relationship/marriage.

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Here’s an idea :bulb: TALK to him. :roll_eyes:

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I would date him first. There’s a big difference between fwb and marriage, differences he may not be thinking of or be ready for.

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Call him, tell you need to talk. Ask him if he was serious. If he says yes, ask him if you all could date some to get to know each other better.

Try dating first. You haven’t done that, so getting married is silly. Just because you have a kid together doesn’t mean you automatically should get married.

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It doesnt matter if hes serious or not, if u dont have the right feelings for him, itll never work and ull just be hurting ur child. Marriage is a serious step and u should never marry out of convenience, only love. Don’t do that to ur child, its not fair. Tell ur friend, thanks, but no thanks. Sounds like he caught feelings with this relationship. Children deserve 2 parents that are in love woth each other, that way they see the best of u, not the struggling worst of u. Think of ur child, instead of ur own self, cause kids see alot and remember and it shapes how they turn out.

I feel like the whole story isn’t there. Him talking about marriage to you and what have you said to him during this time when he talks about it? Your bad marriage baggage is your own so don’t push the fears of it being the same on him. It’s why you guys didn’t date because you weren’t ready to date. His mom could be very old school if they talk about marriage all the time. The communication is strained because you probably told him no about the marriage and he feels as though why push for you guys to be together if you give off anxiety and insecurity for another man’s actions in my opinion. I’ve been in the a abusive relationship before I got married where my child was present and part of the abuse. I sought out therapy and one thing I was remind for new relationships was he’s not my abuse ex so don’t bring it to the next person I want a relationship with.

Confusing. Talk to him. Maybe he doesn’t call anymore because he doesn’t think you’re taking him seriously. There’s a real lack of communication these days, everyone just guessing what other people think or intend. Works better talking to the other person involved in the situation. They’re the only one who knows how they really feel.

I think possibly he just does not want to pay child support for 18 years and that is the fastest and easiest way to do this.

Who’s he with all that other time? Another whole life could be possible.

You didn’t even date this guy. Why would you marry him?

I didn’t hear you say you loved him hmmm

Tell him your answer is yes and see what happens

I would sit down with him and flat-out ask him. Pretty simple to me.