I need some advice; I am a new mum to a 3-month-old adorable baby.I had a rocky marriage during my pregnancy…my husband was not helping out at home, left all the chores to me…was inconsiderate of my pregnancy pains…even during the Covid restrictions, he would find ways to go and see his friends and just drink till like 3 am in the morning. His excuse was because of working from home, he just wants to get out of the house during weekends. It got so bad that I decided to move out after he didn’t sleep home two nights in a row. We separated for two months after that. We got back together a month before I was due to give birth following lots of pleading and begging and promises to change; we attended counseling as well. Following the birth of our daughter, the same behavior has started; it’s been hard for me because I had a C section, the recovery hasn’t been easy. My husband doesn’t seem to care about that; he still leaves me home alone during weekends and during weekdays after he is done working…he doesn’t help out with the baby at all. I have brought this up twice already, and I get the same answers as before…he just wants to get out of the house and hang with his friends…if I need him, I can just call him. I am so totally fed up that I am really thinking about divorce; I have been a single mum for so long…I might as well make it official.
Not normal. If marriage counseling hasn’t worked he doesn’t wanna change. Kick him to the curb.
Nope sounds like he has checked out of your marriage. Time to make permanent plans without him
Throw the whole man out obviously he isn’t gonna change and your doing it by your anyways
Get out while you can honestly. He isn’t a man or a dad. Just a donor.
Not normal. Leave him
Sweetheart sounds like he is cheating kick his ass to curb get a divorce
His priorities should be you an your kids I would leave especially if it’s repetitive behavior
Leave! Tell him he has a kid and can’t just go to hang out all the time. He obviously isn’t going to change.
he’s not gonna change you need to stand up for yourself and your daughter. you don’t want your daughter seeing that’s the way a husband treats his wife
It sounds like you already have your answer.
Leave that man child!! You’re already doing it alone. Why put yourself thru the added stress!
Get rid of him .he obviously doesn’t care about you or his baby.Make it official and go it alone but get some legal advice and make him pay for you both.
Are you sure he is with friends or is there another woman.Either way you really don’t need him.
Id try one last thing and reverse the situation at least a few times… go out; have fun, leave him the kids and responsibility. See if it helps getting a taste of his own shit. Also don’t pick up after him; leave his clothes dirty; wash the rest, etc.
Leave him - he won’t change I’m speaking from experience
I stayed 36 years … no change. Finally divorced. With that being said … Don’t waste you’re life waiting like I did.
I wish my husband would leave u have it awsome men are useless I dont relay on my man
Take your baby and get out. If he was going to change he would have done it by now. LEAVE
I’d leave. He was given a chance to grow up and clearly he can’t. Imagine the example you’d be setting for your daughter if you stay with someone like this and the damage he can cause her as she gets older and becomes more aware of the behavior. You’re pretty much a single mom at this point anyway. Be brave, you can do amazing things.
I think you already have your answer. What is he doing for you that you can’t do for yourself??? Don’t have your daughter growing up in a household where your husbands behavior is made to look acceptable to her as a woman.
I’d leave. You Will find someone who puts you above everyone and anything else . Why would you settle for anything less, when we only get to be here for such a short time? Never beg for someone else’s time and attention. If they wanted to be there, they would!
Kick him out.sounds like he may be cheating on you
This is real sad, sorry and I Hope you’re okay?? I would leave if counselling has already been tried as hard as it may be. He needs to understand that your lives change after a baby and he can’t just go hang all the time. Maybe a couple of times a month but not every day. You should also be able to go see your friends xx
I wouldn’t stick around & deal with that. You’ve voiced your needs/concerns and he obviously doesn’t care. You essentially are a single parent anyway.
He don’t care about you and the baby.
U would probably be happier without him sounds like he just adds stress.
Leave be with a man who’d rather come home to you and your baby after work not go out with his lame friends
Just go. Go now before your child realizes what’s going on. Don’t make yourself and your child miserable. Nothing will change. Been there.
His bags would be packed and he would be gone!! What a waste of space you and your daughter deserve so much better dont let him treat you like that xxx
Once in a while to hang with friends is fine. Everyone, including you, can use some down time, but not almost every night. You’ve attempted counseling. You already know in your heart that this isn’t right or “normal”. You can do it alone, sweetie—you already are. Take care of yourself and your baby girl. 
You and your baby deserve better.
He’s doing something fishy
If your mind set has made it to “I’ve been a single mom for so long already” you are ready to move forward alone. You deserve better. 
Been there, done that. I agree with everyone else here. Leave him and save yourself the future heartache and stress. You will be okay.
Leave. I sadly put up woth it for 6 years and added a second child. Love is blind but people don’t change. Know your worth. Good luck mama
Do it now! He is not going to change! You already know the answer
Red Flags popping up everywhere. Get out. U deserve better
Girl if you aren’t happy, and have tried to fix it, LEAVE. Your are allowed to be happy.
There’s your answer in black and white Mama. Whatever you chose to do? do it in a manner that will bring peace to your heart and your precious child. Love and light dear Mama. Doesn’t sound like a very healthy environment to bring up a child nor for yourself.
Go for it. You will be happier.
Sounds like you know what needs to be done. Speak to a divorce lawyer, get your ducks in a row, and move on. There are too many men out there who will treat you and your child better than this.
Don’t waste your life on someone who does not care about you or your baby.
He is either an addict or cheating, I promise you that. Don’t put up with that crap.
No one will change their behavior. Until you stop accepting it! If he loved u he would have stopped! So u need 2 remove u and ur baby from that situation and file 4 divorce! It’s not easy. I completely understand! I moved away. From my now fiance. He didn’t want 2 be away from his kids and me so me made changes in his life. Please dont settle 4 less than u deserve!! U got this Mama u can do it!! Love ur self! Don’t deal with no ones crap 
Yea I wouldn’t put up with that. Dad’s have a harder time adjusting is normal in my opinion but that behavior isn’t okay. I’d tell him how you feel and tell him that it’s time to step up or you’re filing for a divorce. If he’s acting this way it sounds as if he wouldn’t care about a divorce but if you tell him that’s your next step if he doesn’t make changes to help you and support you, make sure you follow through. Leave if he doesn’t adjust his priorities
Men like him are trash! You and your baby girl deserve so much better hun!
I think you already answered your question.
He will only get away with what you allow. I’d be saying adios and making him pack a bag. Have fun enjoying your weekend now!!
Leave! You are strong momma and you and your daughter deserve better!
Make it official. It won’t get any better believe me!!
Leave mama. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to be around and if separating didn’t help change his behavior then nothing will ever change it. I put up with that for about 3 years after our youngest was born and it didn’t take until me filing for divorce for him to take the hint but by the time I filed, I was already over it and it was too late to fix it.
I think you have answered your own question
I’ve been there, it’s not going to get any better.
Obviously he isn’t ready to be a dad, he still wants to party. I would not tolerate that. Tell him he can step up or step out, FOR GOOD! You & baby deserve so much better!
Your daughter won’t be happy unless you are!!! as hard as it is to leave sometimes it’s the best thing to do for yourself and your child
Your not alone. You are a strong woman. Set boundaries and Be happy… the choice is yours and it’s not always (or ever) easy… been in a similar situation twice. Good luck
Youve already gotten your answer
Make it official, your happiness is so much more important than trying to stay. You deserve better!!!
Sounds like your classic narcissist.
Yeah he would be DONE ! I dealt with behavior like this for 8 years , don’t waste anymore time on someone who doesn’t want to be there for you & the baby !!
I don’t get why men refuse to grow up. He’s a narcissist according to me and it would be best that you stop expecting him to change.
I would find that 100% unacceptable. It’s down right disrespectful to you and baby. You and your daughter deserve more, especially if he’s not putting in effort even after counseling.
Just go and stay gone. He’s not going to change.
I’ve been in your shoes, pretty Covid of course, but the best thing I ever did was leave. 2 kids on my own and we’re much happier without him 
It’s not going to get any better. Your best bet for yourself and that little one is to get out permanently.
I get the needing to get out of the house but then you need to as well so why cant he get out with you and do family type activities. What happens when he goes back to work then the excuse willbe that he needs to unwind from being at work all day…my ex was like that and i tried to make it work for years " for the kids" i realize now how much better my kids are without living like that. Their dad has been too busy with living his own life he doesn’t see them, he has no desire too. Im now with an amazing guy who loves my kids as his own and does everything in his power to spend as much time with all our kids as he can whether it be at home or doing family activities
I think he’s proven himself to you already…it’s time to make a choice for yourself. It sounds to me like you already have. If you’re going to do it by yourself, it would be honestly easier without him adding extra stress and pain to you and your child. Best of luck!
This resonates with me.
Absolutely not normal. Sounds like a selfish guy. You need help and attention too. Fuck his friends, he’s an adult. You’re supposed to be his BEST friend. You and baby deserve priority.
Could he be depressed or not know how to help?
Leave he’s never going to change been there done that.
Was one of the big reason why I just got a divorce I felt like if he could not help me with simple tasks around house and his child. There of course more but this behavior is 100 unacceptable
Yep, better to just go ahead and end things. It seems like it’s already over to him and you’re basically a single mother already so you can do bad all by yourself.
T O X I C !!! I would leave . You’re a lot stronger than you think you are ! You got this !! Best of luck {{hugs}}
It’s easier to do everything yourself without the expecting of someone helping who doesn’t. Just saying. You’ll be happier without him.
If he doesn’t want to change and be a father, and a husband dump his ass.
That’s classic book narcissist n they dont change. They will act like they have but it’s a facade. Your best bet is to file for divorce then custody of your baby.
I’ve always lived by the rule of if I’ve had to leave once and we worked things out fair enough but if I had to leave a second time it would be done because noone learned the first time round what they were losing. It’s not worth it being stressed and alone trying to bring a baby up. Best do your own thing and bring baby up with your own routine and less added stress of someone else’s bs. Best of luck to you xxx
Are you married to my ex?! Been there honey. He won’t change. It will get worse. He has shown you his priorities and it’s not you or the baby
Please get help for you. Relationship counseling doesn’t work if both people aren’t invested.
To me his excuse is useless. I would just kick out or you leave . You and your kids will be better off .
Leave him. He obviously isn’t willing to change. He should be there for you and the baby. Caring for both of you. You and your child deserve better. I wouldn’t waste anymore time
Unfortunately, this behavior will only continue to worsen and will continue to escalate as the baby becomes more demanding. GET OUT NOW!!@
Tell him to man up and grow up or get out
Get out now! He’s not going to change
First husband and I separated while I was pregnant because of this, immaturity, abuse, drugs, etc. He was in an accident the day before I filed for divorce. Daughter was 2 weeks old. He died 2 weeks later. In the next 16 months I sold my house, bought another and had it fully remodeled, finished a bachelor’s degree and raised my daughter alone. Then, out of the blue I had an amazing man fall into my lap unexpectedly. He is the most amazing man and we married 6 months later. After that he adopted my daughter. I had finally come to the conclusion that I didn’t need a man to be happy and if he wasn’t perfect and going to love me and my daughter like we deserved then we would be fine without one. I guess God had other plans because here we are 3 1/2 years later still amazing with our oldest now about to be 5 and an almost 5 month old little girl. He looks like he would be such a tough guy at 6’ tall, big guy, diesel mechanic with a beard, but he sits right there and lets his daughter put ponytails in his beard and paint his nails. I now have a relationship that I hope my girls aspire to have one day with their husbands. Be brave and not only leave for yourself, but also for your child to have the best example of how to be as a person. It doesn’t sound like your partner is going to be able to set that example.
You can’t make someone want to be with you. If he’s not spending his spare time with you. You are not his priority. You deserve better.
Better to leave with 1 child you can do it my friend kept thinking her spouse would change now 3 children later she is divorced.
He’s not a grown up. I’d leave his ass.
When you forgive, you give permission!!
He’s being selfish and only thinking of himself and sounds like he’s not truly in love or either has something mentally going on but either way it’s no excuse for him not loving and taking care of you and being part of the family, that’s not a relationship.
Divorce him now it’ll never change!!
Sorry, love, this is NOT normal behaviour. A good, decent partner would be there for you and your baby, care about your needs, and be present. Divorce him if you don’t want to be treated like trash anymore. Just know, you could wait forever for him to change, but he won’t unless he wants to.
Go for it. Not worth your heartache
Accept him as is or leave because he will not change. Sounds like you’re doing a good job by yourself and he is more stress.
After 3 months u should be healed up, hes not going to change so get a divorce
Follow your gut. Only you, he and God knows what is going on in your relationship. If you want a divorce, there’s a reason for it and excuses don’t fix anything.
My first pregnancy and afterwards was a little rough. And I told my husband you either step up or you step out. And he’s been amazing ever cents and I’m now pregnant with our third child. If he doesn’t change then you need to punch him in the dick and move on. Don’t ever let a man treat you like less than what you’re worth especially after you give birth of his child. Because I had a C-section with our first and second. Don’t try to keep your family together for the sake of your kid. Because your kid will grow up thinking it’s OK to be treated like that by espouse and or a man.
…did you feel more peaceful …after temporarily moving out !? …you can’t carry around his baggage forever you don’t deserve that …how did he feel after you moved out …
Print out fake divorce papers and leave them there and go somewhere else for the night and see what he has to say.
He is who he is. If you left abd he’s not actively trying to be part of a family unit - he’s not interested. You have done it all and he just expects you too. You don’t want that attitude to be the model for your kids. You are a single mom and he’s ok with it so get it official . It sick’s but he’s not going to change unless he wants to and you and baby aren’t his reason so it’s time to go.