I feel like the coddling is more from taking her home rather than staying there with her. If it works having grandma there, and the school is okay with it, I think thats fine. Maybe work towards her being there for a minute or two less everyday. 9 times out of 10 when your child is crying at a drop off to school, daycare, etc… they stop as soon as mom or dad is out the door. It is most likely a phase and she will grow out of it.
In my opinion the child is never going to want to stay alone as long as MIL is staying. Its only going to make it harder on you.
Stay for a min than when she is distracted leave.
She’s going to continue if you take her home every time, maybe you or grandma or dad should stay with her the first 15 minutes or more to help see everything is ok and all the children are having fun
Stop taking her home. She’s learning that a tantrum is all it takes to not have to stay.
You need to leave her there even if she carries on. It won’t last long after you leave.
Sometimes the staff do have to hold baby as you walk out the door mid tantrum. They always say it lasts as long as mum is in view then they stop.
You’re all making it hard on her. Stop coddling her by giving in when she has a tantrum. Leave her there alone with her teacher and class. She’ll calm down after a bit. Your MIL isn’t helping but taking her home when she cries is also not helpful.
I think you’re both wrong. The more you take her home and stay with her the more she’s going to throw fits when you don’t. I’ve babysat for several years and in my experience the kids throw more and more tantrums when the parents give them attention for it. That’s their entire goal. She’s playing you and she’s winning. Drop her off. Give her hugs and kisses and tell her to have a good day and you’ll be back later and walk away. She will get over it. She will learn that throwing a fit isn’t going to change anything. All you’re doing now is teaching her that throwing a fit is going to give her what she wants so why would she ever stop?
Mm I don’t see anything wrong with her staying with her, I’d suggest she slips out when your daughter is distracted and just keep at it and she’ll get more and more used to it, taking her home every time she throws a fit is coddling as well.
She is 3 these comments 
. A three year old is still just a baby!! She may not be ready for preschool and that’s perfectly okay!! Why force her before she is ready and give her bad experiences with school from such a young age?!? Toddlers preschoolers kids etc aren’t not small adults. Why treat them as such ?? Preschool at 3 is not a must have. Let her be little and let her express to you what she needs and listen to her.
I’m the hard mum that drops off and leaves. They get over it in 10 mins.
3 is so little, maybe wait if you can.
Sounds like dad learned to coddle from his mom. A tantrum from a 3 year old is a power struggle that the child must not win. I’d do a hard drop off and ask the school how long it takes her to settle in. Taking her home is giving in and teaches her she can get what she wants by acting out.
When kids go here you stay in the room with them for a few days then stay a parents sitting room for a few days. They won’t let you leave the building if your child is really upset all the time.
I’ve known parents wait weeks before the child settles …thats not with tantrums though but separation anxiety . Tantrums they just cope with
She’ll hopefully settle soon or they may suggest trying again at 4yo as prep for school
Sometimes you just need to let her cry it out or she’ll do it forever. With that last year my son (whom had been fine going to school and preschool) started crying every day that he wanted to stay at home, this year he’s a year behind his age group. I decided to move him to another school and since going to a new school he now crys on weekends to be there, he has also started catching up very fast. Is there any chance she’s getting bullied or anything making her upset
Your her mother. She doesn’t get to be mad.
Let g-ma help. Its important to everyone. Sometimes a diff person/relative can get through when parent cant. Also shes young. Maybe the little girl isnt ready for school yet. I had 1 child that started school early/1 that started at 5 yrs old. My youngest wouldnt have done well in pre-k so i didnt do with him. I know other parents that have these probs too i think maybe the covid safety/stayin home may have set some kids back.
Yall both coddling her 
Honestly y’all are both wrong. All kids go through this stage. If you take them home when throwing a fit you have encouraged the behavior and now will get it every time. I am gonna assume you know there is no abuse that your child is just going through this normal stage.
Her staying at school is also not realistic as it will also encourage the fits. As someone who worked at daycares I promise the don’t cry long at all after you leave cause they have lost their audience that it was for. On the other side I am also a working mother and we were our guilt on our sleeve. Kids can sense it. And of course they would rather be with family as well as be at school. Just be strong and firm. This will be the first of many battles and you make it harder when you cave.
Good luck parenting is hard and seldom fun but very worth it!
When I started kindergarten I couldn’t handle my dad leaving. So for weeks he sat in the room. I needed him less & less until he was just sitting there without any interaction with me at. 1 day I finally just told him to go home. I feel society has changed ahead of kids development. We went from 1 parent being able to support the kids while the other stayed home to raise, support & provide security & stability to both parents needing to work to make ends meet to most households being single parent & struggling. This leaves our children to have to grow up faster than they should. That leads to them being labeled with behavior problems. When a parent or in your case a grabdparent notices this developmental need or at least instinctively provides what the child needs they’re said to be coddling or “babying”. Let Gma sit in class with her. She’ll get the interaction with her peers, learning & routine that society requires while feeling secure. 1 day she’ll tell Gma she can go like I did.
She’s throwing a foot because she’s learned that she gets to go home if she does.
IMO you’re both wrong. Sitting in with her is coddling and taking her home is giving in to the tantrums.
Drop her off, quick kiss and walk away. She’ll calm down once you’ve gone
The teacher would peel my 3 year old off me & id run… he is perfectly adjusted & loves school, it took a month or so but the teacher said he was perfectly fine 5/10 minutes after I left. I say giving in & taking her home is making it worse
My daughter went through a faize of having a tantrum every morning when her grandma would take her to kinder, we stopped allowing grandma in the room at drop off and just to stop at the door she would leave straight after goodbye and kiss n cuddle. It seemed to have worked
While baby girl is only 3 and i totally get that watching her lose it breaks ur heart, what ur teaching her is all she’s needs to do is have a fit and she’s getting what she wants. What are u going to do if this continues for another 2 years? You can’t just take her home from school and let me tell u she will use it for as long as mum, dad and g-ma gives in. I’m a pre school teacher myself and I promise you 9 times out of 10 she will be fine once ur out of sight and she realises she’s just gotta get on with it. And if after a few hours she’s still losing it the pre school will call you and that’s when u no she’s not ready yet and its time to pull her out 
Sounds to me like the child is being bullied I dealt with that and cried because I didn’t want to go and years later that is the exact reason I quit school
I’ve been taking my daughter to prek for about 6 weeks she is 5 (she goes 2 to 3 days a week)…she fusses everytime I drop her off because she doesn’t like nap time…everytime I call and check on her she is fine…
I hate leaving her crying but know next year she has to go 5 days a week to Kindergarten, my hubby works 5 days a week and me 2 to 3 (I work 12s), so she needs to learn that we will be back but this is important for her to stay.
For you that 2 to 3 hour nap after night shift I’m sure is needed!
we ordered these bracelets and hope they help too 
She’s 3, still very young. She needs security, love and support. She will grow out of it eventually.
She’s only trying to help, gosh I’d be greatful
coming from a preschool teacher, that is what they do. you just have to let the teachers take her from you and you leave. once you leave she will settle down. but she is going to continue to do it if you keep taking her back home when she cries.
No, she’s not right. Idk why she even thought it was a good idea to begin with! She will be okay, it takes time for her to warm up and be ok going!! Now she probably is going to throw more fits because grandma went in with her!
Why don’t you talk to the teacher? See what they’re noticing
As a mom and a teacher of 2 yr olds… the best thing to do is give her a picture of the family and only give her a quick kiss and remind her you will be back in a little bit and leave. She will calm down and the more you do that the less time the tantrums will last and will eventually stop because she learns she will have fun with her friends then will see mommy later
I’m with mil on this. Kids throw fits. Especially when they know that’s all they have to do to get what they want. You need to set firm boundaries with her or she’ll walk all over you.
I used to work in a daycare center in the toddler room but even some preschoolers did that. They would cry and throw a fit. A little after their parents left, they were totally fine. Sometimes their teacher or other staff members will have to grab and hold them so you can leave, but your child will get over it. I think MIL needs to stop staying and you should stop bringing her back home
She’s THREE years old she has a lifetime to be an adult let her be a child. I can’t imagine leaving my baby alone that young, all children want to feel secure and she’s obviously not getting that secure feeling, let grandma do what she’s doing. I’d be extremely great full to have someone like grandma in my life.
It took my son about a month and a half to acclimate and transition from being home with me since birth to going to pre-k. It was torture. He would scream and cry and yell mommy, don’t leave me. I would cry in the car and felt so guilty everytime I dropped him off. It was a rough time. Now he’s doing great, he waves bye says he has a great day at school, etc. I’m happy we stuck with it cause I was ready to keep him home for another year. It’s normal for kids to have separation anxiety, especially kids that are more sensitive. Some kids just deal with it better then others.
Drop her off and leave. It’s harder for you than it is for her.
I sent mine that had separation anxiety to school with my watch, told her she had to keep it with her until she came home. You can do this with a scarf, necklace, a special barrette, whatever she may associate you being with her while she’s away from you.
Good luck momma!!
It is completely normal for a child to freak out for the first day of school but the grandmother’s reaction is not. My daughter freaked out first day she calmed down about half an hour after but she was really freaking out when I came back for her cause one girl broke a doll house over her head. Most children have a reaction to being sent to school or babysitters
How is MIL even legally allowed to stay? Does t the school gave rules against that? Most do these days. Also, I’m with you. I would take all of this a sign that she’s not ready. I’d also do as I please with my child and tell MIL to back off.
You’re right. My son did this, and still throws a fit from time to time but he’s now 4.5. It’s hard for the littles yes, but it’s so good for them. She’s actually coddling her by doing that. In real life, grandma is not going to be there. But the fits are very hard to deal with, for both you and your daughter. However, if she continues to get to go home, she’s learning that all she has to do is throw a fit to go home. Have the teachers mentioned that they can handle it? This type of behavior is totally normal for this age, and I only know because I’ve been down this road. We did it for a year bc I had to work and had no other choice bc my husband travels for work. When it happened when I was pregnant, it turned into a big cry fest for both of us too and it was a nightmare. Every morning.
Recently, we’ve been rewarding good behavior including that. Or if he’s unusually Whiney, we will tell him we will come pick him up early and it works. But we actually have to stick to our word, and discuss a time when we will come get him, like after snack. Half the time he won’t wanna go home now. We also bribe with a trip to the dollar store or five below for a $1-5 toy or candy bar end of the week for no fussing or a happy meal. It’s worked for us.
Keep doing your best. She may just not be comfortable yet and it may be a rocky road and take some time, and she’s only 3, but it’s so good for her.
You need to talk to her. Something happened so you need to find out what it is then try to make it better. If you can’t then try to see if you can find another day care.
At least she’s staying at school when mil goes… throwing a fit she knows she’ll be able to go home🤷🏻‍♀️
I would make my child try for at least one week to go alone, no taking them home, no mil sit in and see what the results are. She obviously knows right now that she can throw a fit and get her way, but it’s more about how she acts after you leave. A lot of kids will throw a fit when they get dropped off then end up having a great time after they settle down. If she doesn’t settle down and have a good time, sure I could see pulling her and waiting until next year, but I can’t see having mil sit there with her as a long term solution.
My son went to head start at 3. He wasnt an only child, but we never really see his older sister per her mother. So i figured the earlier I could get him social with other children the better. And I was right. Sure some days were screaming and fits when we dropped hin off, but when he made morning friends, and they were there at drop off, everything was OK! I agree with most everyone else. Its hardest for us as the parents to walk away from our littles when they are broken down. But they come to know that we will always come back.
keep sending her mama. Without grandma. Gma in the long run, is going to make her adjustment harder. Shes going to go theough the seperation all over again. Have dad take her drop her off, and leave. If she is having too hard of a time, have the teacher call you and you can work something out with her then. I always talk to the teachers. My son is in 1st grade now. I just came off 2nd shift so I was only seeing him for 30 minutes a day and this affected him every day. Now that Im on 1st shift, he is doing so well because we have family time at the end of the day.
Honestly when my daughter started pre school she acted the same way. Within 10 minutes of being there she was fine. MIL needs to stop staying there and stop taking here home. She knows now that if she cries she gets to go home or have grandma stay. She can’t do that in kindergarten and up so MIL needs to stop now
Isn’t taking her home when she throws a fit coddling too? She’s not getting over anything if you don’t leave her there.
I would wait until next year when she’s ready!!
I agree with MIL, it is a security thing. But, what’s the point of putting her in daycare/preschool if Grandma needs to sit there with her? Just let Grandma hang out with her at home…
Imo you’re doing more damage bringing her home. That shows her she can get what she wants by throwing a fit. Atleast your MIL has her stay.
This is common for kids when they first get dropped off in the morning and many will randomly go through a stage of throwing a fit when their parents try to leave, even if they’ve been in daycare for a while. Usually once the parent is gone for a few minutes they stop and go play. She may be doing this because she knows she gets to go home when she does it.
My kids are 8 and 12 , if I told them they could stay home with mom they would be so happy and if I went to spend the day and comfort my 8 yr old he would be far too happy. It’s definitely a comfort thing and it never goes away that they’ll want you! Or someone their they love but what does happen is they learn to self sooth and evolve with more independence in a healthy way. Cut the cord and stop feeding into a codependent need inside them or you’re fueling a beast unfortunately.
Maybe let MIL stay for a little longer but then start “walking out” when your daughter is playing. Do that fit awhile and then eventually just don’t stay at all
Nobody should be sitting in the room with her. Let her go a week by herself she’ll only cry when she sees you then should be okay. Both of my babies at first would cry but they’d have to stay as dad and I both worked
I worked in childcare for several years. It’s pretty common that children cling to their parents, cry or throw a fit upon drop off. It happens more frequently the older the child is. More often than not, they’re doing it to see their parents reaction. If you keep bringing her home, rather than having her stay, she will never stay. As difficult as it is, your best bet is to drop and go. If you’re worried, you can always call and speak to her teachers throughout the day. You could also start out slow, maybe drop off for a 1/2 day and progressively work your way up to a full day. You bringing your child home rather than actually dropping of, is really not much different than your mil staying. Either way, your child isn’t experiencing preschool the way it’s intended. In my years in the field, I never saw a child not end up having a great day. It’s 100% much harder on us parents than it is on the kids.
I’d also like to note, because most people don’t realize this, if you’re dropping off and your child is having a difficult time, it’s extremely difficult for the child, the teacher and the class if you linger. The teacher is most likely trying to comfort your child, while simultaneously reassuring you, while also taking care of other children. It becomes very overwhelming for everyone.
My kids all did this it’s honestly because. They like being with mommy or daddy all 4 of them did and still do this you just gotta hand them over walk away…wait in the parking lot for 10 mins if they need you they will come get you but usually after about 2-3 mins they start to calm down
Have gma stay and start leaving in the middle when she is distracted eventually she will love to be there
She’s 3… that’s very young. She may not be ready. Please don’t rush her. You’ll have plenty of time.
My son was like this last year his first year of preschool it took a couple weeks but he eventually started to love it I talked with his teacher and the class Para and worked together to get him through being away for a few hours for school it was hard no lie he would cling to me scream cry tantrums you name it he’d do it I would hand him to his Para and they took him inside id get a text or a call within 30 mins of him happy claimed down and trying to participate in class he’s now in his 2nd year 4yo preschool and he wants me to stay at the door because it’s not cool for mom to walk him to class… maybe have a conference with her teacher and see if yall can work together to make her transition to school a little easier
Don’t pull her out. That would be giving in. Grandma staying is no different than you/dad taking her back home because of a tantrum. Pre-school is amazing. It’s a shorter day, but helps kids start adjusting to full day school. Once she starts kindergarten, y’all won’t be able to stay with her or take her back home because of a tantrum. It’s a whole new experience for her, she’s adjusting. It’s gonna take some getting used to, but she will get used to the schedule. Y’all just have to be consistent. She will have a fit for a few days, but just like anything else with kids, it’s getting into that routine. After a few consistent days, the tantrums will go away. Y’all just need to pump school up. Tell her about all the fun stuff she gets to do, tell her about all the new friends she will make, tell her about how smart she’s gonna get. And ALWAYS remind her that you/dad is gonna be there at the end of the day and you’re so excited to hear about how her day went. Tell her you’re jealous that she gets to go to school and have so much fun while you have to go to boring old work. My oldest two daughters are twins, so they had each other the whole way through school. My son though, I used to do all of this with him… and it worked!
I have a 3 year old as well and he did the same thing but we would leave and I would call right after every day for a month and every time he was done crying done crying. Now he is excited to go and when he gets dropped off he gives loves and waves from the window.
She knows you’ll take her home which is why she throws a fit. I work in preschool daycare. And mama it’s harder on you than the kids. Less than 10 minutes after most parents leave the child is fine and playing. Trust me just walk in drop her off and leave give her a week of that and she will be fine.
My kids didn’t go to pre school I think 3 is to young no need to rush if you’ve noticed a difference in behavior is can’t cope to young I’d keep her out bring to library parks small kid groups library’s have an amazing amount of thing to do and learn ins it’s all free and if gram has all that time sitting there why does she not just watch her at home if the need for day care is for a babysitter becouse you both work sometime mentally and emotionally they can not cope my kids didn’t see school till 5 and 6 becouse of birthday cut off there both very smart and awesome social skills and when my daughter first day of kindergarten she didn’t even say good bye she ran right into that school
This happens with my 3 year old frequency. The teacher has had to take him from my arms with him screaming. It’s worse on the parents but they will be fine. The teacher always sends me a picture of him a few minutes after I leave not crying and playing and having fun. She always says if he doesn’t calm down she will call me. She’s never had to call me back. It’s hard. But try to leave her. Right now she knows if she cries she doesn’t have to stay.
How is grandma “coddling her” by staying there to make her stick it out, but you’re NOT coddling her by letting her go back home with a little fit?
I taught preschool for many years, most kids struggle with transition. I would continue taking her but your MIL/MOM need to stop staying. Take her, love on her. Tell her you will be back later, many send soft like a stuffy animal or even a family picture for her to keep with her. My daughter took a book for like 3 months. Each kid is different, some take longer then others. I would encourage her verbally (you will have so much fun, you will make new friends). See if you cans find out the lesson plans for the up coming day so you can say, “oh look- tomorrow your painting with Apples! I love apples. Then ask questions, so you think it will be red apples? What color paint will you use? Build up the excitement of activity
You pulling her out when she throws a fit is coddling much more than grandma is. Someone above made a great suggestion, have grandma sit with her and slowly start leaving once she is distracted. She will never get used to it if you just leave with her when she throws a fit. If the daycare is allowing grandma to sit in then I think that’s great, but you have to slowly wean her from grandma being there.
Bring her, drop her off, and walk away. Once she’s there she will love it. Stop bringing her home when she cries, stop having MIL stay with her when she cries. She will never stop crying if she knows it gets her what she wants
In all honesty grandma has the right idea. Now that your little one is comfortable with grandma being there in class have grandma move outside let her see her there hanging out then have her move to her car. You lil one is gonna look for her so make sure grandma is in the car…then after a few days have grandma park her car out of sight and tell the her that she’s gonna wait for her but she can’t move the car to where she can see here. I know it seems like lie but it showing her that you guys always come back for her no matter what. My grandparents had to do this. By the end of the month he didn’t have this problem anymore. Grandmas heart is in the right place and your baby needs a little extra push and that’s okay. Keep sending her and slowly move grandma out of sight I promise it works
Instead of grandma let someone take her get a babysitter or a Aunt to take her
You have to drop her off and leave
Bringing her home the first time was your mistake. She threw a fit, got what she wanted so she has learned if she cries she goes home. Most children do this to see how the parents react and to get their wish to go home. Kids will usually settle down in a few minutes after the parent leaves. As for grandma hanging out, stop her. That’s not helping anyone. Drop offs should be quick.take off their coats,a quick hug and kiss and walk out the door
Fits to get what she wants. It’s working. Start dropping her off and leave after 20 minutes call. 9× out of 10. She will be playing in the class. I have a 2 year old who has major meltdowns just going to someone else. If I leave he calms down after a few minutes.
Pulling her out is giving in, so you are the coddler. Mom is right. Wean her off. So she will cry and she will get over it eventually. You don’t want her to be like this kid in my daughter’s kindergarten class. Little guy was so coddled that he would cry the entire day! Missed out on learning, missed out on building peer relationships, the works. Because mom never wanted to try/leave when he was little because he cried. Even for stay at home mommas, we need to leave our babies with unfamiliar (maybe family) people here and there. I have 5th graders with separation anxiety, bad.
My son acted like this and turns out he was being mistreated. The teachers were awful, they had too few teachers and the last straw was when I got called to pick him up because another child busted his head open with a shovel. Teachers didnt even see the incident and he had to find a teacher while bleeding profusely from the head at 4 yrs old. So maybe she isn’t just being needy and something is actually wrong…
How is grandma staying worse than you bringing her home when she flips out?
Here’s a lil secret, my mom is a prek teacher and my son was in prek since he was 1. He eventually had a hard time once or twice… it seriously IRKS the preschool teachers, and it also makes it harder, when parents stay or try to calm their child down or what have you at drop off. The teachers got this, I promise. If you just drop off, give one hug and say bye mom will see you in a little bit! And leave, regardless of your child crying, the teachers can handle it so much easier and distract them better. In a few days, she will be happy. What you’re both doing is all bad.
But taking her home isn’t coddling her?
You need to find out why she hates it so much. She just might have a legitimate reason.
All kids go through it. I still had to have a teacher like pry my now grade 3 off me up till last year. Your there comfort zone and your not there. They just dont know how to express themselves
Best way to get kids to adjust is to give them time and let them go. Even if they cry, leave. They will change their minds shortly after you leave and have fun!
Tell her she won’t be allowed to drop her off if she stays in the room. Your child your rules. I wouldn’t pull her out. I would stick it out and be consistent. Once you walk out the door I’m sure she calms down in a few minutes. Talk to her before you go and let her know you’re dropping her off and you’ll be back in a little bit. After a while she will get used to it
Just coming from someone who works at daycares and has seen many kids struggle at drop offs, you just need to walk out and leave. Don’t stay while she is throwing a fit. It tends to make it worse and longer. 9 out of 10 times the child calms immediately to a few minutes after parent leaves.
I don’t comment much but through my journey you do what you feel is best. We are all Moms here and we struggle with what is the right decision. Have you tried talking to your daughter and see what is the problem? What does your daughter do if u leaver her meaning what does the teacher say she does when you leave? Can u try going in with her and trying it that way? We all do the best we can so you need to find what best works fir your little girl
As hard as it is drop her off and get out of there quick. She will calm down eventually and understand she is safe.
Usually they throw fits because they are upset that you’re leaving. Once you actually leave they calm down. My son did the same thing at the preschool age and the teachers always told me that he was totally fine once I just left. Personally I would not pull him out. It’s better for them to be around kids their age and gain social skills.
But your coddling her by taking her home when she throws fits? So I’m confused here.
Not trying to sound mean but all she’s learned is that throwing a fit will get her either taken home or grandma will stay. Talk to the school see what they can implement to make her transition into the classroom easier and again as everyone has said make drop of as quick as possible let the school know that if she hasn’t calmed after a set amount of time u will come get her but give them the time to try they haven’t even had a chance yet from the sounds of this. Big hugs momma I know it’s hard and if u really feel she isn’t ready after trying some things then try again next year but give it a real chance.
I think taking her home is the mistake. I think his mother did the right thing. Parents are very welcome in the classroom and most teachers encourage it. Its better she goes and sees what she could be missing than not go at all and not get used to it. I’m sorry I’m for grandma on this.
You both are Coddling kids are smart if I act up I go back home. Sorry but I knew my son wasn’t abused so after a week of fits he learned guess what I’m staying mom isn’t going take me home I might as well act right.
When my daughter acted this way at a daycare, she was being bullied by another kid and the provider did nothing. Changed daycare, my daughter was all good.
That doesn’t make any sense you bring her home when she cries, you are gonna pull her out of school but the grandma is a coddler sounds more like you are
She knows now if the throws a fit she gets her way. Someone will stay with her or she gets to go back home. You definitely need to break that cycle because that’s going to carry on to other areas in life. Also a lot of kids who cry when they go to preschool calm right down after their parents leave so I would at least try it that way for a while & give it a chance
Lessen the time gram sits with her alittle a day . Move to another chair and gradually to the door. Tell daughter what you are doing and why Daughter will adjust. Or grandma can float around the room and help others. With teacher permissions
i think 3 is way to young for preschool . its obvious she cant handle school yet , i would pull her out
Be glad you have a MIL who’s willing to be involved…it will take your daughter time to adjust to being in preschool
My child screams bloody murder on the days she doesn’t want to go. To the point where she is red in face. Trust me when I tell you they stop as soon as you leave.
I’ve even walked around to the front office and I can see through the windows that my child isn’t crying and playing. As hard as it is, they will be fine. Both you and mother in law need to leave her alone.
Don’t let her go home when she is throwing a fit. I work at a headstart program and it’s very common for kids to have trouble transitioning and to cry when mom leaves. Give it 5 minutes and almost always we have switched gears to a happy kid. If a parent is feeling anxious we send a picture of them playing. Consistency is very important in allowing your child to not feel anxious in daycare/ preschool. Also if you reward acting up by bringing them home the acting up generally escalates because they know crying or bad behavior= home. The social interaction really does benefit 3+ year old children. Try asking your provider for a picture update after your child has settled.
Mine used to do this many yrs ago but u do need to just drop the child off and walk away most kids settle down as soon as mum leaves them