Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is my SO just being forgetful?
Given the context of the two examples you provided— that’s not something I would be fighting about. If the examples were more odd and presented signs of cheating or an affair based on the small changes in his responses then I’d be like ok but I think you already have determined the answer is that you’re an over thinker.
Maybe you are just more detail oriented than he is
If this is what you fight about you are doing pretty good. Stop sweating the small stuff
That’s called Gaslighting
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Not to be “that” person, but here goes anyway; Females will preform better than males in verbal-based memory tasks where males are better equipped to memorize and recall anything pertaining to spatial awareness. In short, females will access their memories faster than males, date them more precisely and use more emotional terms when describing things like that. So it’s not that he’s more forgetful, it’s just science has built males and females differently when it comes to memory. A mans memory is also linked to his testosterone. If they aren’t getting enough sleep, they aren’t eating enough red meat or exercising enough then a drop in their testosterone can mean they will experience less than normal memory issues. Instead of focusing on minor details that don’t really play a significant role in your relationship, does the heartrate at an ultrasound impact your marriage or are there other areas of your marriage that could benefit from your focus? Anxiety is another thing that will impact memory. It sounds like you may pounce on him for not accurately recalling the details of a specific situation and because no one likes to be pounced on, he could be getting anxious anticipating you jumping on his case. I think you’ll be fine if you stop holding unrealistic expectations on memories and his use of words. Lets just take a minute and examine your last example. “Hold him down” and “hold him back” can mean many things they also have a very similar definition depending on who you are talking who. Words have several definitions and his brain may have processed your statement with different words. You need to focus more on yourself and try your best to not nitpick the little things, because I am sure there are plenty of things that you do that drive him insane, but he chooses to overlook them rather than bash you to his buddies on social media.
Those are such silly examples to be upset about. Men are forgetful. Don’t sweat it
Get cctv in ur home… if he genuinely has a problem … this will show him … without any doubt… and he won’t be able to argue with u…
I know exactly how u feel… and so frustrating and annoying it is with their denial…
My husband’s so forgetful. But his is more of a I never said that. He’ll forget things I’ve told him. It’s so frustrating. But I deal with it. And we usually don’t make a huge deal about it.
But I’d say, your man needs to brush it off. You both do. He needs to brush it off and not really get angry/frustrated. And you need to brush it off.
Does he have ADHD or add?
Or anxiety? Or depression?
Well. There ya go.
Sometimes I think I say one thing and it comes out as something else because I have too many thoughts in my head.
Sometimes it’s also easy to misinterpret things too (held down held back) where he misunderstood what you meant and thought you were accusing him of something he didn’t do
But honestly…if someone nitpicked at me or picked fights with the way you’re saying you do him over such petty stuff…I’d leave…and I wouldn’t look back.
I personally forget things a lot. I forgot the time my youngest son was born. My oldest corrected me. We had to check his bc. Yet I can remember birth dates of kids I babysat as a teen & relatives. I misunderstand what people say a lot. It’s not purposeful. It’s being human. If you’re constantly being critical of him he’s naturally going to be on the defensive.
Sounds like gaslighting to me
Y’all calling this gaslighting gotta chill lmao. People are allowed to be more forgetful or use different words than you. It’s not abusive to say “I’m not holding him down” when you actually said don’t hold him back🤡 that’s such a nitpick thing to even have an issue with
This all reminds me of my husband who used to do that to me. It was called crazy making in my day but today is known as gaslighting. It’s a horrible thing for a partner to do to their s/o. It really sends your head swirling especially when the one on the receiving end of the gaslighting is very honest. You really feel like you’re losing it, it’s terrible and the one doing the gaslighting knows exactly what they are doing. That’s the whole point and it’s very malicious.
I’m very forgetful due to my depression. Maybe he is too