I doubt that English is her first language and I am assuming that she feels disrespected by her husband after he found a way to help his disrespectful son, even though he did it by calling his ex who then came to the rescue. All the while she told her daughter that she can’t help her since the daughter chose to live in another city and she can’t ask anyone else.
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No one respects you or cares anything about you.They only want to get all they can out of you. Sorry if this sounds extreme. Move yourself into your mother’s house & clean it so you can enjoy living there or you can rent it for a good price.Are you the one paying the taxes on this house ? Maybe it would be best to sell it & if you do that put the money in a bank account that is ONLY in YOUR NAME. Now you have money for your old age. Become A wise happy woman.
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this was hard to understand …but if your children disrespect you …you owe them nothing…tell them you found your way to get things done now they need to find their own way. you will not help anyone who treats you like this…
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Everyone saying they couldn’t understand what she was saying need to get off their high horse . You can clearly make out what she was trying to say. I’m sure every single one of you have at one point made some grammar/spelling mistakes in your posts
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Kick the Ungrateful stepson out or charge going rate for rent. Require pest control in your contract & treat the arrangement as if it were a stranger. Business is Business.
Apologize to your daughter for not helping her for selfish reasons but explain to her that adults have to figure out emergencies sometimes. Continue to not help any of them, you’re enabling them if you do help & that is a greater disservice to society.
Lastly, command respect. You owe no one, nothing. They are adults, let them figure it out. If you plan on keeping the husband, seek counseling, he’s disrespectful to you & you both need to work on it.
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You’re not wrong. That’s disrespectful as hell.
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None of that made any fn sense. More than happy to help out when people are speaking ENGLISH.
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Yeah he needs to be evicted and put to his own life, he’s too old to be acting that way
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No your not, they are and are users. Walk away. They don’t know love and respect.
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This sounds like a complete nightmare Boundaries are being broken all over the place. My kids ask me if I need help, as I am getting older, not the other way around. Can’t believe this arrangement it’s not normal behavior…
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Take care of your mental and give him a terminal notice. I’m sorry that you have to deal with a 30yr old child
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You told this man go check on his disrespectful kid but you left yours hanging knowing they have no back up… yea clearly you need some counseling hunn so you can truly understand where you may be going left
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Tell him you are selling or renting the house, and he has to find another living plan, then stay out of it.
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For all those grammar bashing. Must be nice to be on your high horse. People who are deaf/Deaf can have issues writing. As well as people who have English as a second Language. As English has its own syntax and grammar. So does asl. Not sure if either apply to her. But come one. You never know
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I fought through this entire thing. My god, just reread what you’re typing. More to the point yes, it is disrespect. It sounds like theirs alot of it in the whole situation to be honest.
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it is your house kiss his ass out thake back your house, and tell your husband to grow a pair man up and handle his son .
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I didn’t understand a freaken word
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I can’t understand this at all… it makes no grammatical sense
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enabling parents aren’t doing their kids any favors !!!
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He the son (step son) works
He shouldn’t be living there for free
You are being used. Get your life back.
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This is a 30 year old man with children of his own !?! Why is he being mollycoddled like a fucking toddler, yet your own daughter’s been cut off completely because she moved away ?! What in the toxic family dynamics is going on here at all please !!! Kick the gobshite out and stop facilitating his behaviour and his infantile dependency on you . He’s a 30 year old adult . Fuck him off , and for the love of Christ will you go and get in your car and keep on going and hug your daughter ?! Seriously though , you need to grab your own kids and tell them that you love them . Because this is horrible to read putting myself in their shoes looking in … x
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Ditch them all go an just look after yourself
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Stepson is 30y old?
sell house, kick him out
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I was lost after “My husband’s 30 year old step son” huh? Lol
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Sad that so many people have 0 reading comprehension skills.
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Yalll… you can’t just kick someone out . If they’ve lived there and have mail there and set up residence it’s their house 
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This is a page for nosey people who gossip and cant kind there own business. So sad.
Sorry dont understand the post?
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Kick him out of that free house now! Rude entitled shit.
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You won’t help your daughter when her car breaks down but he can live in your mums house rent free give your head a wobble love
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I understand the meaning of your post. I feel he’s disrespectful but I also feel your husband needs to step up to the plate and let his son know it is not acceptable to call you names or to throw things. As far as the house, I would give him notice to move and immediately put it on the market. Good luck.
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It sounds like a whole lot of disrespect coming from all sides here tbh. Why won’t you help your daughter just because she moved? Super petty and for no real reason at all.
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Kick him out of your house. Help your children as you can. Very rude and disrespectful. And your husband is no better by not standing up for you and telling him to leave. Serious issues here.
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His learnt how to be disrespectful to you from his father . Your husband should not have told you to get in the house and shut up when his son was abusing you and turning a table over. If your step son is not looking after your mother’s home start making him pay rent and have monthly inspections.
Okay I didn’t understand a lot of this. However here’s my two cents on what I did understand. There’s no way I would tolerate someone calling me names, and flipping over furniture in my house. You should tell your husband that he can help his son but you don’t want to deal with the disrespectful punk. Besides you don’t need to help anyone who’s not willing to try to help themselves.
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Completely disrespectful! It’s time they learn to be responsible for their own lives, families and yes even their messes. Stand up for yourself, respect yourself and your sanity to say enough is enough. And shame on those that are just here to spout off about grammar and what ever else you feel is wrong. It’s not that hard to decipher what she is saying.
Get rid of partner and son. Who needs that kind of negativity and disrespect. And enjoy being there for your girls.
I’m sorry I’m a bit confused. You’re upset his called his mom and your daughter didn’t have anyone else she could call for help?
The point of the post is NOT the spelling. The point of the post is is she wrong in thinking her stepson and his family are being disrespectful? My answer is no she is not wrong
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The question is posted…is the stepson being disrespectful!
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Lmao Karen y not try 2 help instead of being a step parent making excuses and being an OMG Lmao I would take ur car and drive it up your ass
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I can’t completely understand so idk what advice to give, aside from the generic “set healthy boundaries”
You need to learn to type and re read before you post…WOW!!!
it’s super disrespectful.
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This was hard to read…
Read a quarter of this and gave up!!..
Good luck with it all!!..
The only bit i really picked up out of that is the fact u left your child stranded because “she used to help u and then decided to move away” “she chose to go and live there”
You are pathetic.It is not a childs job to grow up and stay in place because their mother wants them to!
I can’t even tell what the fuck your saying
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There is a lot to unpack here
Whaaat 
I feel like I just had a stroke 
Will Eby what should she do here
I dont think you’re wrong at all sounds like your stepson and husband are both rude Aholes !
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I think what a load of bullshit
That’s BEYOND disrespectful.
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Keep your personal, information,yours
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Nope , they are old enough to be thankful and have Respect. Tough love . We are parents BUT they have to grow up . You owe them nothing now. Especially if they cant show appreciation. No damb drama .
If you don’t help your kids anymore, you can still provide suggestions to help them with adulting. “Since you live so far from me now, I can’t get there in time to help, and this is something you should figure out for yourself. Look at your car manufacturer’s website to see if they offer a roadside assistance program like OnStar. If not, just call a towing service or your local garage for a tow to your favorite repair place. And join AAA so you can call them in the future for tows, flat tires, and jump starts when needed.”
As for the son, “We won’t be around forever, you have to learn to stand on your own two feet, so we are giving you X days notice to get a job (if he doesn’t have one) and find another place to live. Here are some websites and services you can access to find jobs and other lodging”. Let him know if the house is not kept up or is damaged more than normal wear and tear you will take him to court for damages or charge him with vandalism. If his mother wants to bail him out that’s on her, but remind hubs of his promise to not interfere.
Make yourselves unavailable by turning off your phones, going out of town, being in the middle of something. Have a mantra ready to say on repeat when they start whining: “It’s time you learned to be an adult and to stop leaning on us. What will you do when we are gone?”
Might also be worth getting marriage counseling with your husband so you can learn how to deal with and stand up to the grown kids in a united front and learn effective ways to help you both stick to your guns while easing them into figuring things out for themselves.
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Uggg am sorry. Probs with the steps is so hard. I had to leave a man that i loved so much cause of the horrible/terrorist kid i didnt know what else to do. This little kid hits people alot/always mad. I didnt know if i could be nice about it much longer It was so hard tho man i feel for you.
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Tough love. No more handouts and free rent. Stop enabling. There will be times kids need help but they have to be helping theirself first.
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Yes same for all kids not just yours tell hubby that
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The boy needs to become a responsible MAN . No more free anything. He needs to pay rent and show some respect for the ones who help him. If he won’t go start eviction. No more entitled child time to be respectful man.
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Your done helping the kids but one gets to live rent free. Talk about double standard
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What I comprehended from this post was:
She and her husband both have children from previous relationships. The children are all grown up. She has adopted some children as well.
She is stressed because normally she and her husband always go beyond their way to help their adult kids such as the step son living rent free in her mother’s home. They basically bend backwards for these adult children.
After doing so much for their adult kids, she and her husband agreed not to help them anymore because they’re adults who need to learn how to live independently.
After making this decision, her adopted daughter had an incident with her car breaking down. When her adopted daughter asked for her help, she turned her down and said “I’m sorry but you chose to live far away and I can’t help you” this was the excuse she used to explain why she couldn’t help her adopted daughter because she already made an agreement with her husband not to help their adult kids anymore. However she added as extra information that the adopted daughter moved away on her own and before she moved she was helping her with her younger daughter. But this part is just more venting about the situation.
Then after this, her husband’s son had an accident and also needed a car so he asked her and her husband for their car. Because she wanted to be fair about not helping their adult kids, she told him “no”. Instead of accepting their answer, he called his grandmother (his father’s mom) and she helped him instead. Now that this has happened she feels it isn’t fair because the adult step son was helped by his grandparent while her adoptive daughter had to manage on her own because her parents are not in the picture (either deceased or just not around)
She’s asking if her step son is being disrespectful because there was another incident prior to all this where he threw a table over her head when they argued while she was on vacation. I can conclude from what she said that he appeared where they were having a vacation and basically invited himself. (#1 disrespectful act) then argued with her resulting in him throwing her a table and yelling at her to shut up and go inside (#2 disrespectful act)
She also mentions that the home she allows him to live in which is rent free is always trashed and dirty (#3 disrespectful act) and she has had enough but doesn’t know if she’s right or her feelings are justified.
She is torn because her husband agreed with her to stop helping their adult kids but still expects her to help his adult son. She feels it isn’t fair that she can’t help her own adult children but has to take this kind of abuse from the step son just to please her husband.
Like hell I wouldn’t help my daughter if she broke down out of state while her step brother lives in her grandmothers house for free. That’s fucked.
Very hard to read… But from what I could make out he sounds like a disrespectful brat…and he probably takes after his father… The one who told you to shut up and go inside? All of it sounds Terrible
Get him out of that house or charge is ass some rent.
Stop enabling all these Adults, you’ve helped too much and they’ve been stunted. Do Everyone a favor and go to couples counseling with your DH. Serve eviction papers to SS. Consider selling all your properties and moving to a small retirement vacation home for you and your DH in your Dream Location. (too small for guests) Set boundaries and Keep them. Good luck 
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You’re just going to good over the part where you wouldn’t help your daughter because she moved away? Because, to me, that’s worse than “we wouldn’t help him so he called he mother.”
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You sound very controlling … Bc your child moved away , you won’t help her anymore …there’s a big difference in enabling and helping your children …you said you were upset she moved Bc she helped with her younger sister …so Bc she isn’t there to help you , you cut her off ? Probably a reason she moved away from all this drama
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I believe this scenario is why we have so many entitled adults at this time. And I’m just as guilty of bending over backwards to help my kids.
Ii don’t have step kids but I have given until I’ve had nothing left!
The stepson is entitled, give him say 60 days to get on his feet and get his own place to live, job, childcare etc.
Your daughter is actually moved away but needed your help. ( Maybe AAA card for birthday or Christmas)
Your husband told you to shirt up and get in the house. (That’s disrespectful) marriage counseling or divorce. He would not talk to me like that. He needs to stick behind you when you give stepson x amount of time to get out, too.
You all have issues.
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Wait - the main question is it disrespectful his mom helped him? No.
Turning around years of entitlement and dependence isn’t going to change overnight. If it were me, he wouldn’t be allowed around after he disrespected me the first time. He’s a grown man!
To be quite honest your husband disrespected you the second be let his adult son treat you like that. No adult, regardless of connection, who treated
me like that would be allowed in my house.
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Set some rules, let them know they’re going to have no roof over their head
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kick his ass out of YOUR house n tell your done w him
U guys are dysfunctional asf
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This whole thing is confusing.
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Tell him to move out of the house he lives in rent free. That he can go find his own house.
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wow .you already know
I would have him move out of my Mom’s home. Let him grow up. He is not your responsibility nor do you owe him anything.
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tell him he has to leave bc you’re selling the house.
he’s being ungrateful, disrespectful and self entitled.
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He’s 30 , a grown man - stop wiping his ass !!! Set some ground rules and make him pay rent and sign a form with house rules . It was your mother’s home and he’s trashing it !!! You’re family is totally dysfunctional and disrespectful . You are the parents - act like it .
These are grown adults. Cut the freakin cord already!!
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Why is your stepson living in your deceased mom’s house still. Go to court house and evict him. What is good for one is good for all of them. Tell hubby to get on board or get off the boat.
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What channel is this on?
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Soap opera I couldn’t follow
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So, first of all, am I understanding this correctly… you wouldn’t help your daughter simply because she moved away? Is there more to that?
In no way, shape, or form would I even allow anyone to live in my deceased parents house rent free after they threw a f’n table at me.
To answer you: you’re goddam right he’s being disrespectful.
To add to that: you all need therapy
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So you disregarded your own adopted kids cause they choose to move? Weird…. They are adults. And second your step son is allowed to ask his mother for help and it’s none of your business if she helps or not. That’s not about you or your place to be jealous or intimidated about as it doesn’t have anything to do with you. As for the disrespect in your own home and if you own the house he’s staying in… kick him out 
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I see a seriously entitled grown man acting like a teenager. Give him a 60 day evict to find other arangmnets. Go through court so he has to go and daddy cant tell him diffrent!
Tell all kids there will be no more Monetary or vehicles given or borrowed, grow up or fall on your face . Tough love sucks but they’ve got to learn.
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Go back to school and learn how to write a sentence, then come back and tell us your story. 
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They’re all adults, cut that damn cord! If they choose not to talk to you,so be it. They sound like a bunch of leaches.
Um I’m sorry but which jerry springer episode is this so I can get more clarification for research purposes
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Obviously a product of our public school educational system.
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I was particularly lost because I feel like you have really bad broken English but that being said I would not let anyone live rent free in my deceased parents home let alone disrespect me or their home. Also you have every right to stop coddling grown ass adults. But they can go to others for help and that has nothing to do with you. You cant force people to stand on their own. And I also found an issue with your hubby telling you to go inside and shut up! Wtf is that? Sounds like everyone tells you what you should and shouldn’t do. Kick them all to the curbs and move in your parents house.
So my question as one mother to another why did you not help your OWN daughter with her car but let YOUR husbands son stay in your parent home? Sounds as little contradicting don’t you think?
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If your not going to help your own children then your husbands son either needs to
Move out of your mothers house or pay fair market value rent to live there. Sorry but it sounds like your husband want to help his son but not your kids, put your foot down to your husband, his son is getting all the benefits while your kids are getting none!
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I think this entire family needs to grow up and go to family counseling. That’s your mother’s house, if he wants to trash a house, get his own. Get proof that it’s your mother’s house, and change the locks. You also need to learn to use proper grammar, I had to read this post a couple of times. How did this happen to begin with? You’ve enabled the entire situation
I’ll just keep my mouth shut. 
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Wow… you won’t help your own children out because they moved away but will allow a man child move into your deceased mother’s house to live rent free… I can see why your daughters moved away. Go through the courts and evict the free loader
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He would NOT be living in my Mother’s house. Stand up for yourself!!
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I couldn’t read this…
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